My Perfect Mr Imperfect
by xrxdanixrx
Summary: Bella wanted Mr. Perfect, but he didn't want her. When Mr. Imperfect comes along, can she look close enough to see just who is more perfect for her? A story about falling in love with the imperfections. AH - Rated M for lemons later.
1. He Met Me

**A/N:**

**Another fic—this time, a romance. I was thinking one day, wouldn't it be great to see a story where Bella isn't attracted to Edward at first? I'm totally turning you off the story already, aren't I? It gets good, I promise.**

**A huge thanks to Burntcore, Dinx, and Coletteg17 for pre-reading. Another thanks to my wonderful beta, Lindz26, who has now worked on three stories with me and I'm very lucky to have her. And, also, a big gracias to my loyal HM readers who made the jump to this fic.**

**There is no James. There is no Jacob. Let's party.**

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**CHAPTER ONE****  
*HE MET ME***

I watched him closely, never taking my eyes off him, not even chancing a blink. If I did, even for one split second, I felt like I'd miss something about him; any sort of subtle change. By now, I knew his every movement—the wave of his hand as he spoke to someone, the way his broad shoulders shook up and down from his melodious laugh, the subtle wrinkles at the corner of his eyes when he was deep in thought. I knew it all. I'd memorized him intently, analyzed him for far too long. He had a way of engaging everyone around him, and I was no different to them. I was captivated by his mere presence. Even now, as he spoke on the phone in his large office, the blinds raised and his door wide open, I couldn't help but stare at him.

To say I was obsessed with him was way off base and, quite frankly, an insult to me. I didn't have some sort of silly high school crush on him where I watched him from afar, hoping he'd make the first move. No, this was different. First off, I was an adult and quite capable of expressing my feelings in a mature and respectable manner. Second of all, I was unconditionally, unequivocally, starry-eyed, head over heels, barking mad in _love_ with him.

His bright smile.

His warm eyes.

His overall likeable personality.

I was in love with everything about him. It had been like this for two years—my blatant desire, my craving for this man—and I knew it wouldn't stop, not for anything. He was perfect. Just what I wanted in a man, exactly who I pictured as my potential future, concerning a possible relationship.

He hung up the phone, walked around the desk and to the doorway of his office. His beautiful eyes gazed around the room slowly, searching carefully and with precision, until they landed directly on mine. Time stopped. My heart beat accelerated exponentially. He was _looking_ at me. One corner of his mouth began to turn up into a playful smile, causing the air inside me to _whoosh_ out in a longing sigh. Before I knew what was happening, he was walking over to me, one shiny black shoe in front of the other. I began to inwardly panic. _What do I do? What do I say? What does he want? Do I look alright?_

Improvising on the spot, I grabbed a paper cup from the water cooler I'd been standing next to. He couldn't know I'd been gawking at him, right? That would've been embarrassing. I pulled down the small handle to dispense some water into my cup, not bothering to check if I had pulled the hot or cold one.

A throat cleared. Already knowing who it was, I put on my sweetest smile, which was never hard to do around him, and raised my eyes to his. Our visions locked and I felt the same feeling I always felt when we looked at each other—completion. It was almost as if no one else existed right now, except for us. Time and space were meaningless.

"Hi," he greeted, his playful smirk always making me forget how to breathe.

"Hi," I greeted back. I was amazed that I could even talk to him. Sometimes I'd even forget my name around this man.

His eyes dropped down, and I frowned at the loss of connection. "Since when do you like drinking your water steaming hot?" he asked, chuckling.

It was then that I realized my fingers were being scalded. I looked down at my paper cup and saw steam swirling up. Before my fingers could burn anymore, I reacted by tossing the cup into the small trash can next to the cooler.

"Ah, yeah," I said, wincing a bit, "I guess I didn't see which one I got."

He laughed and shook his head. "Well, this one," he pointed to the red handle on the water cooler dispenser, "is the _hot_ one." He quickly cast me a sideways glance, causing my face to become flushed, and then he pointed to the light blue handle. "And this one, here, is the cold one."

Was he teasing me? Oh, I loved it when he did that. "Ohhh, right," I said, pretending I didn't know, even though I certainly did.

His eyes swiftly roamed down my figure before landing on my face again. My entire body shivered in delight. "You look nice today," he remarked, leaning against the water cooler. I'd decided today to wear a deep purple cardigan and a form fitting gray pencil skirt, my hair rolling down my back in large waves. I'd taken extra care to appear more done up than usual in hopes that he would say something like that. Mission accomplished.

"Thank you," I replied timidly. "You do, too." _Of course._ He always looked amazing. He was wearing a black Giorgio Armani suit with a white shirt and black tie beneath. He was like something out of an Armani magazine advertisement. If you could call a man stunning, that was exactly what he was.

"If you're all done printing out the invitations for next week's auction, then we can go to lunch."

I wanted to scream my acceptance. This was the part of the day I always waited for. "Of course, just give me a few minutes to get organized and I'll meet you in your office."

He flashed his perfect teeth at me, and my heart melted into a pile of goo. "See you in a few, then," he said, and winked at me before he turned and walked away. I watched the back of him for several seconds as he retreated into his office.

Just once, I wished he'd look at me with fire and passion. Just once, I wanted his gaze to fall upon me with wanting, desire, and…love. I was so in love with him it almost hurt.

Jasper Whitlock.

My _raison d'être_. My reason for being. The center of my universe. He was everything to me…and yet…he never noticed me. Not the way I wanted, at least. Not the way I had noticed him for the last two years, since the day we met.

Suddenly, a voice whispered quietly in my ear, "Does he know?"

I jumped about a mile high and turned my head quickly, my sight landing on Rosalie Hale, my co-worker and best friend, sporting a cocky grin. "Know what?" I asked, turning back around to watch him, but noticed his office was empty. My eyes darted around the large room. Where had he gone?

"That you're in love with him," she said a bit loudly, no longer whispering.

I spun around frantically, and grabbed her arm, pulling her further away from the others in the main office. "Shhh, Rose, are you crazy? Keep your voice down," I whispered harshly.

Rose laughed and shook her head. "Then maybe you should think about keeping your nipples down," she remarked crassly, eyeing my chest. I glanced down and saw that my nipples were definitely standing at attention. I flushed red and crossed my arms in front of me, trying to hide them. Rose rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like that'll help." Without a word, I began to walk towards my office, Rose hot on my tail. "So, you didn't answer my question."

I sighed, and walked inside, towards my desk, and leaned against it, half sitting and half standing. "I don't think he knows," I said honestly.

"You don't _think_?" she questioned. "Well, from where I'm standing, it's fairly obvious."

I frowned. "Is it?" This wasn't good if she could tell, because if she could, that meant everyone could, possibly including Jasper.

She gave me a sympathetic look. "A bit, yeah."

I groaned. It wasn't like I could help it. How was it possible to change the only way I'd acted for the past two years? I was grateful for Rose's honesty, however. She'd been there through some pretty tough times in my life.

We met almost two years ago in a January when we were both coming in to interview for two separate jobs. Whitlock's Auction House was an eastern thriving business wanting to add a sister location on the western front. Mr. John Whitlock, President and Founder of the auction house, sent his son, Jasper Whitlock, to manage the new location as Vice President of the company. They were starting from scratch, hiring fervently, and were in need of some auctioneer specialists, which was where Rose came in, and a personal assistant, which would be me. We hit it off right away. She was much more relaxed and open about life than I was. I guessed that was why we got along so well. Opposites always attracted.

The phone rang, echoing throughout my modest office. I held up one finger to her, telling her silently to give me a second, and then answered the phone.

"Isabella Swan," I greeted.

"Bella, there's a Mr. Edward Masen here to see Mr. Whitlock, but he's not answering his work line. Is he currently in?" Angela Weber asked, the auction house's secretary.

I raised an eyebrow and reached behind me, grabbing the scheduler. Flipping through, I saw that Jasper had absolutely no appointments today, except for a phone meeting with his father at two this afternoon.

"Yes, he's in, Angela, but Jasper doesn't have anyone booked today. Perhaps Mr. Masen came on the wrong day," I said, and flipped past today's date. There was no Mr. Masen booked at all for the rest of this year.

"He says he doesn't have an appointment, but that he knows Mr. Whitlock personally."

I frowned and then sighed. "Alright, have him take a seat. I'll inform Jasper that Mr. Masen is here and get back to you." I hung up, my mood plummeting. God clearly despised me today. Why did someone have to visit him when we were just about to go out to lunch? Hopefully that person was full of it and Jasper didn't actually know who he was.

"Someone raining on your parade?" Rose questioned with a smirk.

Just as I shot her a death glare, Jasper came waltzing in, holding my white trench coat. "Here we go," he said, then noticed Rose. "Ah, Rose. We're going out for lunch. Would you like to join us?"

My eyes went wide and I discreetly shook my head at Rose, who was smiling smugly at me. "Oh, that's so kind of you, Jasper," Rose said with mock sweetness. "Where are you headed to?"

Jasper walked over to me and opened the coat. I stood in front of him, my back facing his chest, and pushed my arms through the sleeves. He turned me around and began buttoning up my coat for me, starting from the bottom. If I wasn't too busy sending Rose glares, I would've swooned at his chivalry. He'd always been like that, opening doors, holding out chairs, the works. I loved it all.

"I think we're headed to our usual café for lunch, right, Bella?" he asked me, finishing up the last button.

"Um, yeah," I answered, bringing my hair around from the back to sit on my shoulder in the front.

"Oh, that darling place on the corner of Fourth and University St. The Purple Café and Wine Bar, right?" Rose questioned, still keeping her eyes on me.

"Yes, you've been there?" Jasper asked, surprised.

"Plenty of times," she answered. She was lying! She'd never been there a day in her life. She only knew of it because I'd raved to her infinitely that Jasper and I went there for lunch.

"Well, let me grab your coat and we can head out. I need to be back by two, so we should get going," Jasper said in a rush as he began to walk away. I gave Rose a pleading look.

"Jasper," Rose called, clearly holding in a laugh.

He stopped just as he made it to the door. "Yeah?"

"I've actually got some paperwork to catch up on before the auction next week, so I can't. But can you pick me up a salad or something?" she queried.

Jasper smiled politely. "Yes, of course."

"Have fun," Rose sing-songed, giving me one sly look before walking out of my office. I was going to have to give her a firm talking to later.

Jasper held out his arm for me to take. "Shall we?"

All malice towards Rose flew right out the window while I tried my best to contain my grin. I wrapped my hand around his hard bicep and allowed him to lead me out into the main office. However, my expression dropped when I remembered something.

"Oh, I forgot to mention that there's someone here to see you. He says he knows you," I told him, stopping right outside his office.

He knitted his eyebrows together. "I'm pretty sure I don't know of anyone that would be seeing me today. Who is it?"

I tried to remember the man's first name, but I suddenly couldn't. Only his last name was coming to mind. "A Mr. Masen, I believe."

Jasper looked pensive for a moment, until his eyes swam with a sea of realization. His face brightened, and my heart soared. Whoever this Mr. Masen was clearly had a positive effect on him, which made me happy. However, I really did want to go to lunch, so I was hoping this would all be very quick.

"You go wait inside my office for a bit. I'll be back," Jasper said, walking towards the elevator.

"Wait," I called after him, "are we still going to lunch?"

"Yes," he threw over his shoulder, and disappeared into the elevator.

I sighed and walked into his luxurious office. It was much bigger than mine, which suited him. The office was decorated tastefully with a mahogany desk and a leather swivel chair behind it. There were various pieces of artwork on the walls that he'd personally bought from some of our auctions we'd held over time. He loved antiques, and I knew he loved what he did. It always brought a smile to my face to see how excited he'd become when we'd get an interesting piece sent in to appraise and auction off. I loved what I did, too, but it wasn't nearly as much of a passion as it was for Jasper. For me, it was just a job. I'd never known what I wanted to do, and this job just sort of came at the right time.

I sat on his desk, looking over his paperwork with his elegant script. The computer's screensaver was on, flashing picture after picture of his life and those in it. There was one of him and his parents from when he graduated from college with his master's degree in business. There was another one of him on the opening day of Whitlock's Auction House. The next one that appeared almost tore my heart in two. It was a picture of when Jasper and I went to Catalina Island off the coast of California. We were both leaning against the railing of the marina dock, all the various boats in the background. He had his arm around me, and my head rested against his shoulder. We both looked equally happy. I couldn't believe he'd kept that picture after everything that happened. The next picture came on, and I smiled sadly, admiring the snapshot of him winning an award.

Deep voices wafted towards the office, and I looked to the door, recognizing Jasper's voice immediately. He was speaking enthusiastically to another man. My guess was that it was Mr. Masen. I stood and straightened out my trench coat. Checking my silver watch on my wrist briefly, I sighed, realizing that if we wanted to get in a decent amount of time in at the café for lunch, we'd have to leave no later than ten minutes.

Jasper appeared into the doorway with a smile on his face, talking to someone behind him. I looked around him, only seeing a lock of dark hair.

"I just can't believe it's been that long. Almost six or seven years?" Jasper questioned. His eyes found mine and he grinned. "Bella, this is one of my old college buddies, Edward." He stepped aside, revealing the man in question.

I blinked a few times as his intense forest green eyes connected with mine. I felt a sudden need to sit or something and I didn't know why. He looked to be about twenty-eight or twenty-nine, around my age. His appearance was less than respectable, in my opinion. He had on a navy blue plaid shirt with light blue wash jeans and dark brown hiking shoes. His face was scruffy with a heavy five o'clock shadow, and his hair was an absolute mess. Did this guy have a comb or something? I couldn't help but compare him to Jasper. Jasper's wavy blond hair was always nicely styled and he rarely went a day without looking clean shaven and dressed nicely. It was what I loved about him.

"Mr. Masen, pleasure to meet you," I greeted, holding out my hand for a firm business shake.

He glanced down at my hand, but didn't take it. I noticed he was looking at it a lot longer than normal, so I cleared my throat. His piercing green pools found mine again. I had to say, he really did have nice eyes. But Jasper's blue ones had always been what made me go weak in the knees. Blue was my favorite color, anyway.

Mr. Masen finally took my hand—very gently, might I add—in his rough, calloused ones. I wanted to roll my eyes. Why men thought I couldn't handle a good, firm handshake was beyond me. I tightened my grip, letting him know I wasn't some dainty woman that needed to be treated with care. There was some sort of glimmer in his eyes, and I swiftly withdrew my hand.

"Please, call me Edward," he offered, his voice deep and baritone. I felt a weird chill run through me with how his stare on me didn't waver.

I smiled politely and turned to Jasper, feeling at ease immediately. "So, you two knew each other in college?" I questioned.

"Yeah, we were good friends. Unfortunately, we lost contact when he left school and moved back home," Jasper said, and then turned to him. "But you're back now, right?"

"I've actually been back for a while," Mr. Masen admitted.

"Thanks for calling," Jasper joked.

Mr. Masen laughed, and glanced at me briefly before looking back at Jasper. "I know; I'm sorry. I didn't have your number, but now I do."

"All the girls in school used to call him Teddy," Jasper informed me with an added laugh after. "Tell her why, man."

Mr. Masen shook his head and laughed nervously. "No, no…"

"Oh, come on," Jasper egged. "You know you liked it." Jasper looked at me, smiling as if he was a mischievous child. "The girls in school loved Edward. They'd call him Teddy because he liked to snuggle after sex." Jasper laughed unabashedly. "We used to all rag on him about it."

I grimaced. Why was he laughing about that? It was a bit disgusting, in my opinion. I didn't want to know about this man's promiscuous sex life. I was even reserved about my own…that was if I had a sex life.

Mr. Masen hit Jasper's chest with the back of his hand. It was odd to see some stranger being so casual with Jasper. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. "That's not true," Mr. Masen said quietly, his eyes looking somewhere near me.

Jasper's laughing fit died. "Well, we'll have to go out to a bar one of these nights and see if I'm right or not. I'm pretty sure I am," Jasper said, smiling confidently.

Since when did Jasper go to bars? Hopefully he meant one of those Sushi Bars. I looked at my watch uncomfortably, realizing we only had two minutes. We needed to go now.

"Did you want some coffee or something?" Jasper asked him. "Bella's my personal assistant. She'll get it for you. Won't you, Bella?"

I immediately looked up at Jasper, frowning. He wasn't even looking at me, but at Mr. Masen. What was I, a waitress? I knew my job entailed doing what Jasper asked, but he'd never asked me to get coffee for anyone before.

"Um, yeah," I replied softly, and looked at Mr. Masen, who seemed upset for some reason. "Would you like some coffee?"

He glanced at me and shook his head. "No, thank you." A small smile began to play at his lips.

"Don't be so modest," Jasper said, "she'll get it for you. It's really no problem at all." My eyes fell to the floor.

"No, really. I'm good for now," Mr. Masen said, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm actually here because…" He shifted in his seat a bit and cleared his throat, "I have a collection that I'd like sold as soon as possible and was hoping your company could help me."

Jasper brought his leg up and rested his ankle on his other knee, his expression becoming serious. "Well, we can definitely look into that. Why don't you tell me a bit about the collection?"

"Alright, well…" Edward trailed off, and his eyes lined up with mine. I furrowed my brow slightly, wondering why he was looking at me like that.

"Bella?" Jasper questioned, trying to garner my attention. I looked away from Mr. Masen and into Jasper's beautiful blue eyes instantly with a subtle hopeful expression. "You can go ahead and go to lunch. But bring me back something. You know what I like." He turned back to Mr. Masen, picking up conversation again.

I stared at Jasper for a few seconds, my heart plummeting into my stomach with rejection. We'd gone to lunch every day since I'd started working here. We used to go with other co-workers, but soon it just became him and me. Now, he wanted me to go…alone? Why? Because of this _man_? I scowled at Mr. Masen, his scruffy appearance less than appealing. Why did he have to come here today and ruin everything?

As Jasper continued to converse with him, his eyes caught mine. He appeared taken aback for some reason. How could Jasper have even been friends with this guy? He looked like he needed a good shower. Jasper and he didn't even fit together. They seemed like complete opposites.

I backed out of the office and turned my sight away from the man who was taking up the time that Jasper could be spending with me.

"Oh, and, Bella," Jasper called as I stepped out of his office. I turned around as soon as his familiar voice said my name, my heart skipping a beat. He smiled at me—the smile I'd fallen in love with time and time again. "Please shut the door." He turned away, and that was it.

I slowly closed the door, their voices becoming muffled. Feeling completely dejected, I had no appetite anymore, but Jasper wanted his usual, so I had to go now. He always ate a vegetarian sandwich with a side of Caesar salad. He was right, I did know what he liked, but he also knew what I liked, too. We knew everything about each other, or at least I thought we did up until now. He'd never, ever, mentioned Mr. Masen.

Well, if anything, Jasper certainly knew everything about _me_. He knew my secrets, my hopes, my desires. The fact was that I wasn't just his personal assistant; I was so much more than that. There was only one secret that he didn't know about, one desire that he hadn't found out, one hope that he wasn't aware of…I loved him with every inch of my heart and I wanted him to be mine, and more than anything else, I wanted him to want me, too.

He was my Mr. Perfect.

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**A/N:**

**Thanks for reading if you got this far. I'm not one hundred percent sure about my posting schedule. Right now, I'm thinking Thursdays, but this could change. The good news is that I have several chapters written in advance, so it should be fairly smooth for a while.**

**A note: this is all Bella's perspective. I felt like being in a woman's head for an extended period of time…besides my own.**

**Please review and let me know your thoughts, concerns, demands, or just notify me that you're alive. Thanks.**

**There's a Polyvore of the characters on my profile.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	2. He Disliked Me

**A/N:**

**I'm so touched that there's been interest already on this story, and I'm glad you liked it so far. This chapter might answer some of your questions about Bella and Jasper, and you'll, of course, get to see more of Edward. **

**Thanks to my wonder woman beta, Lindz26, for doing her magic with this, and a special thanks to Renas40 for pre-reading, when I got a case of the second chapter blues. Happens with every story I do without fail.

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**CHAPTER TWO  
*HE DISLIKED ME***

The silence of my one bedroom apartment was eerie as I shut the front door behind me. I didn't like it. Even after all this time, I still wasn't used to it. It was almost foreign to me.

I dropped my purse on the small table near the door, slipped off my heels, and walked further into my apartment. My feet felt so much better now that they were free from my pumps, and I sighed in relief. I headed straight for the kitchen and opened my pantry. There, sitting on the top shelf, was my bottle of Amontillado Sherry. I reached up on my tiptoes and wrapped my fingers around the dark bottle. Grabbing a wine glass from one of my cupboards, I poured myself some sherry and took a much needed sip, like I did every evening after work, allowing it to soothe my throat and ease the day's stress.

I made my way through my apartment and into my quiet living room, nothing but my footsteps padding along the carpet making a sound. Taking another sip of the rich flavored substance, I opened my balcony door and stepped outside into the cool November breeze. The view from my apartment was exquisite on the fifteenth floor. The Seattle night sky was pitch black, the stars hiding due to the bright city lights beneath. All I could see was lit up building after building, but it was still beautiful. I wondered what it looked like from a plane. It was probably a sight to see.

I took another sip and allowed my arms to rest on the railing. It was around this time of day where my thoughts began to invade my head. Sometimes the sherry would help, but other times, it wouldn't. Today, I hoped it would. But even now, I could tell that this evening was going to be one of those nights.

My life, for the past two years, had been nothing short of a growing experience. Straight out of college, I was hired into Whitlock's Auction House, and I was welcomed with open arms. I grew to form strong bonds with my co-workers, them becoming my only friends. My job was easy and something I enjoyed doing, but not just because of that, but also because of just who I was working for.

Jasper.

Almost immediately upon meeting him, I was smitten. He was unlike any man I'd ever met. He was kind, considerate, chivalrous, charming, handsome, everything in a man I'd always wanted. It turned out that he liked me, too. Not even a month into working for him, we started dating. His father wasn't too happy about the setup, considering I was his assistant, but once Jasper assured him that we were serious about each other, his father relented. His parents approved of me, which I was happy about, but my parents didn't just approve of Jasper, they were as much in raptures with him as I was. My mother, especially, who I thought might've had a bit of a crush on him. I wasn't at all surprised at that. Jasper was a very endearing, amicable person who garnered attention everywhere we went.

As the months passed, we became closer and closer and both sunk easily into being in love. It wasn't difficult at all. We were both alike in many regards and had the same ideals, beliefs, and standards pertaining to life. It was like dating my other half. Everything just seemed to flow from one day to the next with Jasper by my side. I'd never been happier, either. My life finally felt like it was leading to something, and I hoped with every part of me that that something was settling down with Jasper. However, life didn't quite work out that way.

My body began to shiver from the cold, so I went inside. I set my glass of sherry down on my coffee table and went into my bedroom. When I reached my closet , I shed my tired body of my work outfit I had carefully picked this morning to get him to notice me. I'd come to a point now where I craved those old reactions in him, the lustful ones, the adoring ones, the ones I rarely saw anymore. Any chance I got to evoke one of those, I took advantage of.

I threw one of his T-shirts over my head, loving how my small frame got lost in it. The smell of his rich aftershave had evaporated over time, but the memory was still there. All I had to do was imagine it.

When I went back out into my living room, I made my way over to my fish tank that was near my couch. It wasn't too big, but large enough to house my one goldfish named Maximilian. He was a little scaredy fish, always hiding behind the plants or in his makeshift rock cave Jasper had made for him. I grabbed the fish food on top of the tank and shook some flakes over the water.

"Here you go, Max," I said in a sigh.

Jasper had won Max for me at the local fair one night when we were still dating. There was one of those games where you'd toss the ping pong ball into the fishbowl for a prize, which was a goldfish. He gave it to me with a sweet kiss on the lips and told me to name him. I named him Maximilian because it meant "greatest" in Latin. Jasper liked it because there'd been two Roman Emperors named that in the past. He went out of his way to get me the tank and decorate it. It was almost like Max had become both of ours. Jasper would come over all the time and feed him, but then it all stopped…and now it was just Max and me.

I set the fish food down and grabbed my glass of sherry again, taking tentative sips as I went back into my bedroom. I placed the glass on my nightstand next to my gold antique picture frame that held the memory of when Jasper and I went to New York to visit his parents.

Turning on the lamp, the room became illuminated by a warm orange-yellowish light. I pulled the covers down slightly, fluffed my pillow, and slid into my cold bed. A shiver ran through me as I sunk further down to properly rest my head against the pillow.

When I was satisfied, I stared up at the ceiling, breathing in and out a few times. I missed the feeling of his warm body next to mine. He'd always warm my side of his own bed up before I got into it, then he'd scoot over to his cold side. I smiled to myself, recalling how I always teased how warm I was while he shivered. But he'd rectify the situation by pulling my body close to his, and I'd fall asleep inside the crook of his arm, my head resting on his shoulder. I remembered those times when we wouldn't fall asleep, but instead, we'd slowly make love until we were fully spent.

My sex life with Jasper had always been healthy and active. He was a true gentleman in bed and would never leave me unsatisfied. In the beginning, we were all over each other, not going a day without our bodies molding into a union of love and passion. As time went on, those days became less and less with the demand of work and the familiarity of our relationship, but we still had that same passion each time we did come together. Thinking about it now only brought on the pain again.

Since that day, six months ago, when we'd broken up, I'd never dreamed of being with another guy. I only had eyes for Jasper and that was how it was going to stay. Every day since then, I remembered our times together, how he moaned my name, how he worshiped my body, how he whispered his love and adoration in my ear as he pumped inside of me.

I shifted in my bed slightly, feeling a current of moisture warming me between my thighs. Lately, it seemed I was getting more and more sexually worked up. Not having sex for six months was definitely affecting me.

I reached over to my nightstand and pulled open the drawer. There, in all its glory, was my purple Rabbit vibrator that Rose had gotten for me not too long ago. At first, I hadn't used it or looked at it at all. The idea of using a toy to get myself off was a bit weird for me. It felt…dirty, like I shouldn't be doing that. But, in the end, I gave in and tried it out. Within ten seconds, I was having the best orgasm of my life, and in those ten seconds, I completely forgot about Jasper, so I continued to use it. But, over time, my body grew accustomed to the vibrator and Jasper slowly started to slip back into my thoughts. Now, I couldn't get off without thinking about him in my fantasies.

I pulled out my Rabbit and set it on the bed while I took off my cotton panties. Leaning back against the pillows again, I took the vibrator and pressed the start button, setting it on the lowest vibrancy. When I'd spread my legs far enough, I brought it down to my hot core and poised it at my entrance. The subtle vibrations of the Rabbit tickled me in pleasure, and I let out a quiet moan. Completely wet and ready, I began to slowly push it inside of me, my walls adjusting to the girth of it. I gasped as the rabbit ears started to vibrate against my swollen nub, shooting waves of sensation throughout my body and down to my toes. Setting a steady rhythm, and upping the level of the vibrations, I began to dip into my memories…

_I exited my office and made my way to the break room, my one dollar bill in hand. When I was inside, I walked over to the vending machine and slipped my dollar into it. I had no clue what I wanted, but I knew what he wanted, so I pressed D5 to get him his usual peanut M&Ms. The coiled metal slowly wound back and released the bag of M&Ms, dropping it to the bottom of the vending machine. My eyes swept over the other selections. The Skittles looked good…but so did the Reese's Peanut Butter cups. I knew Jasper liked anything with a peanut flavor, so I decided on the Reese's, just in case he wanted some of mine. _

_I was just about to reach my hand inside and take out the candy, when I heard a sharp click behind me. I spun around and came into direct contact with Jasper, who was an inch away from me, wearing a very confident smirk. _

"_Jasper," I gasped, placing my hands on his chest to keep myself from falling over. "What are you doing here?" _

_He grabbed onto my waist and lightly pushed me against the vending machine. He dipped his head and began to kiss along my jaw, up to my ear. "I was on the phone and I saw you walking across the main office. You looked so delicious, I had to follow you." He nuzzled his nose against the shell of my ear and tightened his grip around me. I could feel his arousal pressing up against my stomach between us. _

_I giggled and slid my arms up his chest and around the back of his neck. I briefly glanced at the now closed door. "What if someone comes in and sees us?" I asked as a precaution. _

_He inhaled through his nose near my ear and pressed himself more into me. I sighed in pleasure and rested my head back against the vending machine glass. "The door is locked," he assured, then took a step back, unwinding his arms from around my waist. I frowned at the loss of his body against mine. He took a few steps to the door and flicked off the light beside it. The room fell into darkness, except for the soft glow of the vending machine. "And now…the lights are off." He stalked back over to me, scooping me up in his arms and pressing me further against the glass._

_I moaned and whimpered as he peppered short but sweet kisses down my neck and to my collarbone. His tongue darted out and swept across the hollow of my throat, emitting a breathy sigh from me. _

"_I've been dying to christen the break room," he admitted in a low grown. _

"_You—you have?" I asked in a stutter, my mind occupied with only thoughts of his tongue dancing across my skin. _

"_Mmhm," he hummed, sucking the skin of my neck into his mouth. His hands slowly slid down from my waist to the hem of my skirt. His fingers tickled underneath the edges, teasing me like he loved._

"_Jasper, don't tease me," I pleaded softly, my eyes rolling into the back of my head._

"_What do you want, my love?" he whispered in my ear, his minty breath sending chills down my spine. _

"_I want…" I began to say, but stopped when his fingers inched higher up my thighs, taking the skirt up with them._

"_Tell me," he demanded forcefully. _

"_I want…you," I managed to utter in a whisper. _

"_You've got me," he breathed, and in a flash, his fingers tugged at my panties, and he yanked it down my legs to my knees. He spun me around swiftly and lifted my skirt, bunching it around my waist. A guttural groan rang out behind me and I pressed my forehead into the glass. His hands ran over the smooth plains of my hips and thighs before I felt his fingers slide between my slippery folds._

"_Jasper," I moaned out, my eyes screwing shut. _

_He slid one—two fingers inside of me, my arousal coating him generously. I squeaked out a whimper as he pumped his fingers from behind me. Suddenly, he stopped, and his fingers were no longer filling me. _

"_I think you're ready for me, Bella," he rasped, and I could hear the sound of his zipper. I smiled to myself and spread my legs further. After a few seconds, he grabbed onto my hips, his fingers digging harshly into the flesh, and he—_

The escalation of pleasure I was beginning to feel suddenly stopped and my memories faded completely.

"No, no, no!" I whispered harshly.

My Rabbit died, most likely from using it so much. I groaned in irritation and began to pull the vibrator out of me slowly, hissing at the loss of being completely filled. It looked like I wasn't going to feel good tonight.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood, frowning. I went into my bathroom to clean off my vibrator that was coated in my arousal. After that was done, I set it inside the drawer of my nightstand, reminding myself to buy some batteries in the morning.

Feeling completely frustrated and in need of release, I got back into bed grumpily, huffed as I turned off the lamp, and flipped over on my side. The darkness of the room fully enveloped me, and I never felt so alone. I shut my eyes and hugged my body tight.

I missed him so much. Why couldn't we still be together? I was so miserable without him to hold me, comfort me. Even though I saw him every day as my boss and friend, it wasn't the same. I loved him and I wanted his lips on mine, his fingers caressing my hair, his whispered breath telling me how much he loved me. But I would never have that again.

Resigned, I did what I always did every single night since he broke up with me. I curled up in a ball, fisting his shirt tightly, and cried myself to sleep…

X-X-X-X

Sitting in the backseat of Jasper's BMW was really uncomfortable. I was so used to riding up front with him that anything different made me feel uneasy. I tried to sit with my legs bent at an angle, otherwise they'd be squished because Rose was tall and had her chair pushed back almost on top of me. Even if I moved over to behind Jasper, it wouldn't help, because he was just as tall as Rose. Why couldn't I know short people?

"Hmm," Jasper hummed in thought as he focused on the road ahead of him. "I guess I overestimated how much time we'd need to get here. The way traffic 's been moving we'll be there in just under ten minutes."

"He won't mind, will he?" Rose asked.

"No, I'd say not," Jasper assured confidently.

I looked out the window, pine tree after pine tree rushing by quicker than I could catch. We were heading north of Seattle, just outside of the city for a private appraisal Jasper had set up. Mr. Masen apparently had some sort of antique collection that he wanted auctioned off. Jasper, being the generous man that he was, offered to bring a specialist with him to appraise the pieces. Normally, Jasper wouldn't be there for an appraisal, but I guessed since this Mr. Masen was his old friend, he decided to make a personal appearance.

"Geez, I think we just crossed over from Seattle into Idaho," Rose teased. "What was the name of the area?"

"Pine Lake," Jasper answered. "It's a small lake, just north of the city. It's not even on the map." Jasper's blue eyes flashed to me through the rearview mirror. Even though I couldn't see his mouth, I could tell he was smiling with the way his eyes squinted just a little. "You okay back there?"

I shifted in my seat, my legs beginning to prickle as they fell asleep. "Yeah, I'm good," I lied.

He winked at me and his eyes fell back to the road. I inwardly sighed. It was moments like those where I still felt we were together, like nothing had changed. But that wasn't the case, because everything had changed.

The car began to slow as we veered off the small highway and onto a stretch of road that had a single hokey looking gas station that wasn't even open. Everything after that were just pine trees. There were no shops, no houses, not even a single person graced the street. The road began to grow bumpier, jerking the car around a bit, and suddenly, there was no more concrete, just small rocks.

"Uh, this is charming," Rose remarked sarcastically. "Does he actually live here?"

"From what he told me, he's been living here on and off for years, but has moved back now permanently," Jasper replied.

I looked out the window again and wrinkled my nose. Even though we weren't too far from the city, it felt like we were miles and miles away from any sort of civilization. Jasper pulled out a piece of paper from his glove compartment and looked at it briefly as he gazed past Rose and out of her side of the window.

"I'm looking for a twelve Pine Lake Rd.," Jasper said.

"That shouldn't be too hard. Just look out for the only house that is probably here," Rose sneered.

"Rose, you are exceptionally enchanting this morning," he joked.

"Thank you," she said seriously, causing me to roll my eyes. Jasper looked at me through the rearview mirror and did the same. I had to fight to hold back a snicker. "Oh, is that it?"

I looked to where she was pointing and saw a flash of white peeking out from behind a collection of pine trees.

"Yep, looks about right," Jasper said, and turned the car onto a small gravel pathway.

A slightly dirty, white, one story and a half house came into sight about quarter of a mile down to the left of the pathway—or was it a driveway? I had no clue.

Jasper stopped the car a short distance from the house and set the gear shift into park, cutting the engine at the same time. We all stepped out of the car and shut our doors. I was instantly overwhelmed by a cool breeze, and I shuddered as I rubbed my arms up and down. Rocks crunched beneath my high heels when I began to take small, tentative steps on the gravel driveway and onto a blanket of overgrown, uncared for grass. I looked up at the house and raised a hand to my forehead to shield my eyes from the beaming sun.

The house was shingle-sided with several dormers. It had a colonial style to it with dark, forest green shutters on every window and a small veranda supported on columns in the front. The roof line was curved inward and had four chimneys at various spots on the top. To the left side of the house was a smaller extension that looked like it could be a large tool shed of some sort. Directly next to it was a pile of wood just sitting there on the grass. I looked past the house and could make out a body of water through pine trees that bordered it. The beginnings of a dock could be seen, and I was about to step a bit to the side to make it out better, when Jasper placed his hand on the small of my back.

"We won't stay here too long. Hopefully about thirty minutes tops," he said to me in a low voice as he led me to the front of the house. I nodded, and allowed him to lead me.

Rose went up to the front door and knocked a few times. "There's no door bell or anything," she observed, looking a bit irritated. After several seconds, it appeared no one was answering, so Rose began to look through the windows, but it seemed relatively dark inside. "Did we screw up the time?"

"Well, we're about ten minutes early, so maybe he's on his way back from somewhere," Jasper said calmly. He always knew the right tone to carry in order to keep everyone around him at ease. Whenever I was in a stressful situation, all he had to do was speak and I'd feel completely at peace. Jasper removed his hand from my back and looked at his Rolex watch. "I'd give him a ring and let him know we're here, but it's really not that big of a deal. We can wait."

Rose groaned and stepped away from the door. She walked back onto the driveway and towards the car.

"Do you want to wait in the car until he arrives?" Jasper asked me.

I shook my head, not wanting to leave his side. "No, I'm good where I am."

He smiled down at me and began to rub my arms, warming my body up. "Good."

I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his hands on me. I wanted so badly to lean my head against his chest, but had to mentally scold myself not to. Lately, he'd started to touch me more and more—a hand on my back, here, a stray hair tuck, there. I loved it, of course, but it was all very confusing. We were supposed to be friends now and when he did that, it only made me desire him in more ways than just friendship. So, in order to keep myself grounded, I wouldn't touch him back, even though my body screamed to. Of course, I would never stop him from touching me.

"Sorry!" a deep voice bellowed out a distance away. Jasper and I both turned our heads to see Mr. Masen running around the side of his house towards us. His eyes fell onto mine and he suddenly slowed considerably to a walk. Jasper's hands fell to his sides and he walked up to Mr. Masen.

"Edward, good to see you," Jasper greeted happily, holding his hand out for him to shake.

They both shook hands, looking glad to see each other. I looked over Mr. Masen's appearance with a frown. He had paint-splattered dark wash jeans on and those hiking boots again. His shirt was plaid, almost the same as the last time I saw him, only the difference was that it was green instead of blue. _Wow, does he own every single color plaid shirt?_ I thought sarcastically. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows and his toned forearms were covered in white paint, as well. His five o'clock shadow seemed a bit thicker and his hair was the same untamed mess, probably worse, actually.

"I'm sorry; I was in the back and didn't hear your car pull in," he apologized, and glanced over his shoulder at the BMW. He cleared his throat, looking a bit uneasy, and then turned back to Jasper. "But thank you for coming. I appreciate this."

"It's no problem at all," Jasper assured with a chuckle. "It's my job." Jasper cast me a sideways glance. "Edward, you remember my assistant, Bella, right?"

Mr. Masen's eyes flashed to mine, and I smiled kindly. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Mr. Masen," I greeted.

He smiled back very weakly, and nodded once, not saying a word. He looked behind him at Rose, who was just leaning against the car, watching us. She began to walk over when she realized she'd been noticed.

"And this is one of my specialists, Rosalie Hale," Jasper introduced. "Her area of expertise ranges from the beginning of the Industrial Revolution to the decline of the Cold War. She can identify anything you have."

Rose held out her hand to Mr. Masen, who took it much more firmly than he had with me, which made me huff internally.

"Mr. Masen, it's an honor to be able to appraise your collection," Rose started politely. She was always good with putting on the professional act. "What I've heard from Mr. Whitlock sounds fascinating and I look forward to seeing it all."

"Well, then, let me show you everything. Follow me," Mr. Masen said, and spun around, walking away.

I noticed Rose eyeing the back of him and I furrowed my brow. We began to walk and Rose came up along side of me. "Not bad," she whispered huskily to me. I shook my head with a small smile at her brazenness.

Mr. Masen led us to the extension at the side of his house. He opened the door and walked inside. As we all stepped in, a light came on, revealing a room full of item after item, everything looking old and unused. There were various pieces; some appearing from a couple centuries ago, while others looked fairly recent.

"Did you bring the notepad?" Rose asked me.

"Oh, uhhh," I fumbled. I'd been too wrapped up in looking at the house that I'd forgotten. I was usually more on the ball than this.

"Don't worry; I'll get it," Jasper offered, and disappeared outside.

Mr. Masen was shifting smaller items around, setting them up on a dark mahogany desk. Rose and I walked over to him. He didn't look up at us as he continued organizing the items.

"God, this is amazing," Rose gushed, pointing to a very old looking clock.

"That was my great, great grandfather's," Mr. Masen explained.

"And now it's yours?" Rose asked.

Mr. Masen merely nodded, and turned his back, grabbing more items. Jasper came inside, holding the notepad, and a pen, then handed them to me.

"Bella, write this down," Rose instructed, leaning down to analyze the clock better. I uncapped the pen and took position over the clean sheet of paper, beginning to write as she spoke. "Antique French mantel clock piece. Circa eighteen-ninety, most likely. Brown tortoiseshell veneered case with gilt bronze ormolu mounts. White enamel three inch dial with Roman and Arabic numerals." She ran her fingers delicately over the mounts of the clock. "And a two train, eight-day pendulum movement. Looks to be in working order, but we'll have to bring it in for testing." She looked at Mr. Masen with an inquiring expression. "Would that be okay?"

I turned my head to look at him and noticed he was in some sort of daze. He shook his head slightly and cleared his throat. "Yeah, that'd be fine," he affirmed.

"She's pretty good, isn't she?" Jasper asked Mr. Masen. My eyes went wide, wondering if he was talking about me. "We're very lucky to have Rose on the team." Rose acted as if she didn't even hear, in a trance as she gazed over the clock.

Mr. Masen scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, what she said sounded about right. I'm not really sure if it is, but it definitely sounded good," he said, chuckling.

Jasper smiled and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "We'll make sure you get a great price for all of this."

"If you wouldn't mind, Mr. Masen, I'd like to look at your other pieces," Rose said.

"Yeah—no, go ahead," Mr. Masen offered. "Whatever you want."

"Bella," Rose called, outstretching her hands to me. "I'll take over the writing now."

I nodded and handed over the notepad and pen. She silently walked around the room, analyzing the items and writing things down. I took the time to look at everything myself. I wasn't an antique genius or anything, but everything in here looked like it would be worth a lot if put up for auction. I half wondered how he could even bear to part with all of this. I knew that if it were all mine, I wouldn't be able to. I was almost a bit envious that he had such old things to look at. The oldest thing I had was a used Neil Diamond cassette tape my mother gave me that I couldn't even play because I didn't have a tape player—not that I wanted to play it, anyway, so maybe it was for the best.

I walked to the back of the room, looking at the different items. There were old chairs, various paintings, and so many other things that I really couldn't even identify. I looked down at a chair that had a plain, dark brown box sitting on it. It didn't look like anything special at all, and it was in fairly good condition. Even though it appeared ordinary, there seemed to be something majestic about it that I couldn't quite place. I ran my fingers over the mahogany wood, feeling how smooth it was beneath my fingertips.

"That was my father's," a voice said softly behind me.

I swiftly moved my hand away and looked over my shoulder. Mr. Masen was just standing there with a curious expression as he stared at me. I looked past him and saw that Jasper was with Rose, talking quietly as they assessed another item.

"It's lovely," I said honestly, equally as quiet as him, and turned to look back at the box.

He stepped directly next to me, neither of us looking at each other as we stared down at the piece. The side of my body he was standing next to hummed with warmth. "It's a cigar box," he revealed. "It was passed down through the generations." He paused for a second, his breathing replacing his voice. "Every evening, my dad would take a cigar from this on the mantle over the fireplace, and then he'd smoke quietly. I'd usually sit with him…" His voice tailored off at the end, as if this was hard for him to say. He crossed his arms over his chest, and shifted on his feet a bit. I glanced at him, furrowing my brow at his solemn expression. I easily could tell that this cigar box meant a lot to him. Why did he want to sell it, then? If it meant so much to him, couldn't he just keep it?

Something deep inside me felt strongly about this. I couldn't just _not_ say anything. If I were in his shoes, I'd want to save something that held such sentimental value to me.

"Mr. Masen," I started hesitantly, "with all due respect, how can you part with everything here? It's clear to me that this holds some meaning to you, and I'm a bit confused as to why you would want to sell it all away. There's so many things here—so many amazing things. Surely you can reconsider. Perhaps, sell a few items, but not all." I was specifically thinking about the cigar box. If he liked it so much, he should keep it.

His expression suddenly turned hard and cold, making me feel incredibly small. I wanted to shrink back, away from his intense, scathing glare. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't advise me on whether I should or shouldn't sell my collection, Miss Swan," he scolded in low but forceful voice.

I blinked a few times, suddenly feeling extremely foolish and embarrassed. I shouldn't have said anything. Why had I said that? The realization struck me that what I had divulged should've been kept buried in my head, because it wasn't my place to tell him what to do with his things.

My eyes dropped to the floor and I took a small step back, substantially disappointed with myself. "I—I'm sorry…" I stuttered quietly, not able to look at him. "You're right; it wasn't my place. I just…" _Don't say anything! Just stop!_ I hung my head a bit, ashamed, and walked away. "Excuse me…"

I exited the room, stepping outside. I couldn't believe I'd opened my mouth like that. It was completely uncalled for. The worst part was that because of me, he could decide not to go through the auction house, and it would be entirely my fault. Deciding it was better that I stay away from the appraisal, I went and stood by the car, my back facing the house. I stayed like that for another ten minutes, unthinking, until I heard Jasper's voice growing closer. I immediately turned around, and his eyes locked with mine. He raised an eyebrow at me. Needing to feel comforted in some way, I walked over to him and looped my arm through his as we walked back to his car.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked me gently, shifting his arm so it was around my shoulder instead, and brought me closer to him. His voice was laced with concern, and I slowly calmed. All I could do was nod, even though I felt like an idiot. "No, something's wrong. What is it?"

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Masen," Rose said somewhere behind us. "We'll set up an appointment for you to come into the auction house directly after Thanksgiving."

Jasper opened the front passenger door for me. "Rose, you don't mind if Bella sits in the front, do you?" Jasper questioned.

"No, not at all," she assured, and opened the back door.

I stepped into the car and situated myself. Jasper closed the door after me and then walked over to the driver's side.

"Mr. Masen seemed pretty upset about something," Rose said. "Wonder what happened."

I sighed and looked down at the center console. I couldn't bear to look out the window and see Mr. Masen upset. I didn't even know if he was there or not, but either way, I didn't want to know. There was clearly a reason why he was selling the collection and it wasn't any of my business.

After Jasper got in and we began to pull away from the house and back onto the highway, he reached for my hand over the center console and laced his fingers between mine. A soothing warmth shot through my arm and heated the rest of my body, making me forget about how upset I'd been before.

"A scruffy man with old antiques," Rose assessed. "Interesting."

"Yeah, he has let himself go a bit…but no matter," Jasper deflected, "this collection is going to be extremely good for Whitlock's. " Jasper looked at me briefly, and caressed my hand gently. "Bella, remind me to call my father as soon as we get back to the office. He'll be pleased to hear about this, I'm sure."

We drove back to the office, and I sighed in relief as we inched closer and closer towards the high rise buildings. I still felt incredibly foolish, but with Jasper's hand wrapped around mine, tenderly soothing me, it didn't seem to matter anymore if Mr. Masen liked or disliked me after what I said…even though I was fairly certain now that he very much disliked me.

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**A/N:**

**Aww. Bummer. Well, thanks for reading and please do review.**

**There are some pictures on my profile, including Edward's lake house amongst other things.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	3. He Apologized to Me

**A/N: **

**Many of you didn't think Jasper and Bella had dated. Sort of changes the dynamics, huh? And some of you expressed dislike for Edward snapping at Bella. To be fair, she really was out of line. Business is business. That also doesn't mean he couldn't have said it nicer. **

**Thanks to Lindz26 for beta'ing! And a special thanks to the awesometastic shabbyapple for starting a thread over at Twilighted. The link is in my profile if you want to say hi or talk about the story. If you ask, I'll put up a teaser for the next chapter.  


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**CHAPTER THREE  
*HE APOLOGIZED TO ME***

If I was grateful for one thing, it was that I had amazing, genuine people in my life that I could depend on. I was excited because I'd get to spend my Thanksgiving with some of those people—my mother, my father, and Jasper. Although my parents lived fairly far from me in the little town of Forks, Washington, I didn't mind so much, because when I would get to see them, it made it that much more special.

Last year, Jasper and I went to his parents for Thanksgiving, and we promised each other that this year we'd go to mine. Even though we broke up, we didn't dare cancel these plans. My parents loved Jasper way too much to let him skip out, and I didn't have the heart to tell Jasper no, because one, I actually wanted him to be there, and two, he really wanted to be there, as well. How could I remotely deny him?

We arrived at my parent's house just short of three o'clock in the afternoon. The sun was shining and the weather was perfect—very unlike Forks. Jasper opened my car door as well as the back. He held his hand out so I could take it and I lifted myself up and out while I grasped onto him. He shut my door, and then reached in the backseat for the gift he'd gotten for my mother and father.

"You spoil them rotten," I teased as we walked up to the front door.

"You're right; I do," he said with a laugh. "I just hope they like it."

"Are you kidding? My dad is probably the easiest man to shop for on the planet, and my mom…well…she'll like anything from you," I admitted, chuckling. My mother was just as bad as me with Jasper, always swooning. Good thing my dad was mostly oblivious to it…I think.

Jasper knocked a couple of times on the door and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. The door flew open to reveal my grinning mother.

"Oh, thank heavens, you're finally here!" she gasped, exasperated. "I was just beginning to think you crashed your car and died."

"Mother!" I exclaimed, horrified.

Jasper laughed. "No, Mrs. Swan. If I crashed the car, how could I see the most radiant mother on Earth?"

My mother held back a grin, very poorly, and flushed red. "Oh, stop that, Jasper," she said, hitting him lightly on the chest. I rolled my eyes, but secretly smiled to myself at how sweet he was with her.

Jasper chuckled and leaned forward to kiss my mother's cheek. "Hi, Mrs. Swan. Got you and the Chief something." He handed her the large bag with both of their presents in it.

"You are too much, Jasper," she gushed, and then kissed my cheek. "Hi, baby."

"Hi, Ma. Where's Dad?" I questioned, stepping inside. Jasper helped me out of my coat and hung it on the rack.

"He stepped out the back for some air. He said the heat from the oven was making him feel nauseous," she answered with a shrug.

"If you two don't mind, I'll step outside with him and say hello," Jasper said.

"No, not at all. I haven't finished dinner yet, and Bella will help me for a bit, I'm sure," my mother assured.

Jasper nodded and smiled at me before walking through the kitchen and out the back door. As soon as he was gone, my mother verbally pounced on me.

"Okay, tell me what's going on with you two," my mother demanded excitedly.

I groaned and walked past her, into the kitchen. "Nothing, Ma. Honestly," I said.

She huffed. "Well, then, I guess I owe your father ten dollars."

I spun around to her with a curious expression. "What does that mean?"

She laughed and set the gift bag down on the kitchen table, trying to take a peek inside very slyly. "I said that by the time you came for Thanksgiving that you'd be back together. He said he didn't think so. And I just lost ten dollars." She sighed sadly and reached her hand inside the bag, pulling out a gift wrapped present with the name _Chief Swan_ written on a stick-on tag. She set it aside and grabbed the second present with her name on it.

I felt awful that my mother clearly wanted Jasper and me to be together. I understood where she was coming from, since I felt the exact same way, but there was nothing I could do, and I had to respect Jasper's wishes because there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him.

Jasper and my dad came in through the back door, laughing about something. My dad groaned and twitched his thick mustache. "It's still hot in here," he grumbled.

"Well, leave the back door open and let some cool air in," my mother suggested.

He groaned and walked over to me, placing a kiss on my forehead, and then went over to the couch, turning on the TV. I laughed silently. He wasn't much of a talker.

"Alright. Gifts," Jasper said, and grabbed my dad's present off the table. He walked over and gave it to my dad, who looked a bit uncomfortable, but still took it.

"You didn't have to do that," my dad said, but then sat up straight and began opening it.

My mother didn't even need someone to tell her twice, she'd already opened it and was smiling. "Oh, honey, this is great," my mom raved. She held up a box with, what looked like, an iPod of some sort inside.

"It's a touch screen recipe finder," Jasper explained. "I know you're always looking for new things to cook and I thought this might help you out a bit."

Believe it or not, my mother was pretty tech savvy, so I had no doubt in my mind that she'd be able to use it. My only concern was how much money he'd shelled out for it. My father, on the other hand, was staring down in wonder at his already opened gift.

"What'd you get, Dad?" I asked, since I knew he wouldn't share the information unless I pried.

"A Swiss army knife," my dad answered. "How'd you know I wanted this?"

"Bella told me a few weeks back, if I remember," Jasper replied.

I looked a bit closer and then gasped when I saw it. "Jasper, you—" I started to say, but stopped when I saw him discreetly shaking his head at me, telling me to be quiet.

The Swiss army knife he'd gotten for my dad was something I saw in a catalogue several weeks ago. It was super complicated and very expensive—around two hundred dollars. All in all, I was sure Jasper shelled out around four hundred to five hundred dollars for my parents.

"Thank you," my dad said quite happily, and that was that.

"You're welcome," Jasper chuckled, and walked to my side. He threw an arm around my shoulder and I smiled contentedly.

The meal was pretty good. My mother was a decent cook. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten that Jasper was a vegetarian, and almost everything had something he couldn't eat, except the steamed broccoli, mashed potatoes, and dessert, of course. My mother apologized repeatedly, but Jasper assured that it was okay and that her mashed potatoes were divine.

I loved the fact that Jasper was a vegetarian. He was always meticulous with what he ate, sticking mainly to greens and fruit most of the time. I wasn't a vegetarian, at heart, but around Jasper, I would be, just out of respect for him. He always reassured me that he didn't mind seeing me eat meat, that it was just a personal choice for him, but I still didn't want to upset him. The only thing that I refused—absolutely refused—to eat was fish. I couldn't eat it whatsoever. Not only did it smell and taste bad, but it also reminded me of eating Max, and that just made me sad.

After we finished cleaning up, my dad and Jasper went and watched the game, while my mother and I disappeared into my old room, presumably to "talk."

"I really hope he isn't too upset about the meal," my mother mused.

"No, Ma. You know how he is. He'll just eat around the meat, which was what he did," I reassured.

She sat down on the bed and looked up at me. She patted the empty spot directly beside her, and I obliged.

"He's still in love with you, you know," she spoke suddenly.

I sighed and shook my head. "Ma, don't—"

"It's true," she interrupted, and reached up to caress my hair. "I see the way he looks at you. That man is in love."

I fiddled with the blanket on my bed, pinching it and releasing it. "I really think you're wrong," I said honestly. If he loved me, he would be with me, right? There was no way he did, as much as I wanted it to be true.

Six months ago, Jasper had taken me out to a nice, quiet dinner. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, since we dined out frequently. Apparently, I should've known everything was different, but it seemed like any other night. We were halfway through our dinner when Jasper said that we needed to talk. I knew straight away something was wrong, but I didn't expect the words to come out of his mouth that followed.

"_Bella," he started hesitantly, and grabbed my hand gently over the expensive white linen covered table, his thumb lightly rubbing my knuckles. My blood coursed with the familiarity of his touch. "You know I love you, right?" _

"_Of course, Jasper," I confirmed, but the crease in my forehead only deepened. "Why? What's wrong?" _

_He sighed heavily, looking as if something was causing him great pain. "You have been such an important part of my life for the past year and a half or so, and I don't want to lose you. You're my friend, and I care for you immensely." I frowned, not liking where this was going already. "But…" He stopped, looking deep in thought._

"_What is it?" I questioned, tightening my grip around his hand, as if instinctively knowing he was slipping away from me._

_He slid his fingers out of my hold and placed his hand in his lap. My hand instantly felt cold and barren. "I don't feel the way about you that I thought I would've." Taken aback, yet in a state of shock, I merely blinked at him as he continued. "That's not to say I didn't fall in love with you, because I did…but I just don't feel you're the one for me." He gave me a sorrowful, pleading look. "I'm so sorry, Bellsy…" _

After that night, everything changed. I'd gone from spending almost every night at Jasper's place, to having to live day to day in my own miserable apartment, completely heartbroken and rejected. I'd gone from sly, heated glances and sweet, stolen kisses at work, to greeting each other as a personal assistant and their boss would. I was distraught and didn't want to admit that it was over between us, but when I finally understood we would never be together again, I realized that if I couldn't have him in my life as my lover, I still wanted him as my friend. So, we began to rebuild our relationship again, but strictly platonic. I was still in love with him, of course, and that only grew with each day, but I hid it as well as I could. I had to…he didn't want me. But, oh…how I wanted him.

I hated myself for not having been more for him. I wished and prayed every night that, somehow, I could miraculously become _the one_.

"Honey," my mom started, and lifted my chin to look at her, "sometimes men don't know what they want. Hey, sometimes women don't know what they want, either, but in Jasper's case, I really think he'll realize he made a mistake in letting you go."

"You think so?" I questioned, a bit hopeful.

"Baby, I know so. You both are like two peas in a pod. You're exactly right for each other."

I sighed. "I know you want us to be together, but there's really nothing I can do about it."

She smiled sadly. "Just have a little faith and patience. He'll come around. And when he does, everything will just fall into place." She leaned in and hugged me. "You deserve happiness. You'll get what you want. I have no doubt about it."

I hoped with every inch of my heart that she was right, because all I wanted was to love and be loved in return.

X-X-X-X

The next day at the office, I was writing down a list of the RSVPs I'd received for the auction this coming Sunday. Most of the attendees normally were wealthy CEOs and their just as equally wealthy wives. As long as we sold the items, I guessed it didn't matter who came.

My phone rang, and I capped my Montblanc pen Jasper had gotten me and set it in my pen holder.

"Isabella Swan," I greeted into the phone.

"Bella, is Mr. Whitlock still in his meeting? He has a visitor," Angela said.

"Yes, he's still in his meeting. Who's here, and do they have an appointment?" I asked.

"Mr. Masen. Appointment for eleven-thirty," Angela answered promptly.

My breath caught in my throat and I began to panic slightly. The fact was that I was still feeling a bit awful for what I said to him a few days ago at his house. I knew he probably thought that I was unprofessional and should've kept my mouth shut, so maybe it was good he was here. I could apologize and rectify the situation immediately for the sake of the company.

"Tell him he can come up, and have him sent directly to my office," I instructed, and hung up. I quickly shifted papers around, trying to clean my desk, even though it was already relatively tidy. I began to straighten things that were already straight. It was a nasty habit of mine when I was nervous. _Get a grip, Bella. Be professional._

As I was fixing the direction of the pen holder, there was a quiet knock on my already opened door. I looked up and, sure enough, it was Mr. Masen; however, I stared a bit rudely at him when I saw how he was dressed. He had on just a plain beige sweater with blue jeans. He didn't look as…grungy as before. He looked relatively decent. Though, the five o'clock shadow was still there and his hair was a mess, as per usual. I was really starting to think he didn't actually own a comb.

I stood and walked over to him with a polite smile on my face, even though I was feeling a bit uneasy. "Mr. Masen, thank you for coming," I said, and motioned a hand for him to take a seat. "Would you like something to drink?"

He walked inside fairly slowly, looking around a bit, and then situated himself in the chair across from where I usually sat. He cleared his throat. "No, thank you," he said, his deep voice sounding a bit hesitant. "And please call me by my first name."

I walked around my desk casually and sat down, as if nothing was wrong, but there was a huge problem.

I had _no_ clue what his name was.

God, how could I not know? I'd heard Jasper say it a few times and even Angela said it once, but it was completely evading me right now.

_Think, Bella, think. Remember when Jasper was introducing him. What did he say? _I thought hard and remembered something with an _Ed _sound at the beginning of the name. _Oh, I remember! _

"No problem, Edgar," I assured.

His face paled considerably. Oh no…he did _not_ look happy. What did I say wrong?

"No, uh…no, it's actually Edward," he stuttered, his eyes looking anywhere but at me.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! You're an idiot!_ How could I have messed up again? Was I just that ridiculously unintelligent? First, I bossed him around with what he should do with his collection, and then I forgot his name! If we lost this account, it would be completely and entirely my fault.

"Oh, right. I apologize. I'm not very good with names," I tried to salvage, but I still wanted to hurt myself from being such a moron.

He finally looked at me, and brought his ankle up to rest on his knee. "That's okay, Stella," he said, and I frowned instantly. After a few seconds, he matched my expression. "That…That was a joke…I know your name is Bella."

Even though that wasn't a very funny joke, and just reminded me of what an inconsiderate, awful person I was to him, I conjured up a polite smile. I knew I had to apologize now. It would be rude if I didn't. So, gearing myself up, I took a deep breath and—

"Bella, I need to say something to you," he blurted suddenly.

I blinked twice, a bit taken aback. What would he have to say to me? Oh no…was he going to report me to Jasper? Great. Jasper was going to fire me. Wait, would he really fire me? I mean, it was _me_. I had no clue, but either way, most likely by the end of the day, I'd be out of a job.

"Yes, of course," I said solemnly, dreading what was about to come.

He inhaled and then exhaled loudly, and I wondered if he was having respiratory problems or something. "I just need to say that the other day, when you…" He paused, and scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, when you…"

"When I was completely out of line?" I questioned bluntly.

He furrowed his brow and shook his head profusely. "No…no,_ I_ was out of line. Not you," he said. I was confused and wondered if I heard him correctly. "You were trying to be kind to me, and I was just…" He ran a hand through his tousled hair. "I was in the wrong. I'm sorry."

"Mr. Masen—" I began to say.

"Edward," he snapped.

"Edward!" I exclaimed, flustered. God, there I went again, messing up. What was it about this man that was making me act like this? I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to calm down. "I'm the one who should be saying sorry. It's your collection, not mine. I'm just an assistant." It was the truth. My only job that day was to aid Rose with the appraisal, and I couldn't even do that right. Instead, I acted embarrassingly towards him.

"Bella, you were right when you said that the collection means something to me. It does," he admitted, his eyes falling to the desk morosely. "That's why it was wrong of me to say what I said to you, because you were telling the truth."

I remained staring at him. He looked so…broken. Maybe I was mistaken, but it just seemed like he was incredibly unhappy. I didn't know this man, and yet, I felt for him. I knew what it was like to be sad. Though I didn't know why he was selling the collection, and I had no right to know, I still wished that he could keep it.

"Perhaps we can agree that we're both sorry," I suggested.

He lifted his head and I could see a small smile playing at his lips. "Thank you."

I found myself smiling, too, but as soon as I realized it, I straightened in my chair and flattened my expression. I looked over Edward's shoulder and out into the main office to see if Jasper was coming.

"I think Jasper is still in his meeting. Do you mind waiting just a few minutes?" I questioned.

"No, not at all," he answered.

I leaned back in my chair and looked at him. I remembered Jasper had said that he had let himself go a bit. What did that mean? Did he look different at one point? Generally, when I heard the phrase of letting oneself go, it usually referred to someone being overweight. Edward didn't look overweight. He was thin and very…Was athletic the right term? He had toned muscles and seemed like he worked out a little. I had to say, he even looked more toned than Jasper, and Jasper worked out every single day.

I was suddenly feeling a bit flushed, so I decided to start a conversation.

"So, uh…what was Jasper like back in college?" I asked. I was being sly. Jasper had told me very little about his social life from when he was attending college. I knew of all his academic achievements, but nothing about who he knew or what he did. I was oddly curious.

Edward chuckled heartily, and the sound was fresh in my ears. "You sure you want to know?"

I furrowed my brow. I had asked, right? Wouldn't that entail that I wanted to know? "Well, yes…if you don't mind."

He smiled as if he knew something I didn't. "Jasper was a great guy to have around. Fun, outgoing, all that stuff. He was a regular party animal, always at any and every party, and had tons of women falling at his feet," Edward revealed.

I was completely shocked at this. This couldn't be right. Jasper was nothing but regal and proper. I'd never known him to "party" a day since I knew him.

"You said you wanted to know," he teased, smiling.

This was just really unsettling. I couldn't imagine Jasper as anything other than the man I'd fallen in love with. "Well, that's just odd, to be honest. He's definitely not like that now," I said matter-of-factly, a bit of a bite to my tone.

"Yeah, I suppose not," he muttered quietly. "So, how long have you been working for him?"

I clasped my hands together on the desk. "Almost two years coming up in January."

We fell into silence, neither knowing what else to say. I looked at my watch, and saw that Jasper was running over ten minutes late.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything to drink at all? Coffee? We have a vending machine with different sodas in it, as well," I offered.

"No, it's fine. I'll probably just help myself to some water," he said, and shifted his legs, looking as if he was about to stand.

"No," I quickly said, holding up a hand. "Let me get it for you."

"It's fine, really. I can get it myself."

"No, really, let me get it."

We both stood at the same time. I began to walk around the desk, when he suddenly took a step towards me. Not expecting him, I crashed into his hard body. He stumbled back a bit, his arm swinging out and knocking over my pen holder onto the floor. The pens all tumbled out and the blue ink from my Montblanc pen seeped out into a puddle on the carpet. I gasped loudly.

"Shit, shit!" he cursed, looking down at the ink that was going everywhere. "I'm so sorry!"

I quickly grabbed about five or six tissues from the tissue box on my desk and turned to try to soak up some of the ink, but when I looked at the ground, Edward was already kneeling near the puddle of ink, trying to absorb the ink with his…sleeve?

"What on earth are you doing?" I barked, baffled as to why he was doing that.

He looked up at me with a frantic expression, then at the tissues in my hand, and then finally the sleeve of his sweater that was now covered with small splotches of blue ink. He didn't respond, so I grumbled to myself as I bent over and began to pat the carpet with the tissues, but it was no use…the ink had soaked through and the carpet was ruined now. Great. Jasper was going to have to shell out a lot of money to fix this.

I sighed and stood up to throw the tissues in the trash.

"Um, I'll pay for that," Edward mumbled.

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "That's not necessary." _It'll probably come out of my pay check, anyway._

Jasper suddenly burst through my office, looking out of breath. "Edward, good to see you. So sorry to keep you—" he said, cutting himself off when he saw Edward on the floor and me looking entirely annoyed.

"No, it's no problem at all. I was just talking with…" Edward cast me a quick glance, and stood, "with Bella, here."

"What happened to the carpet?" Jasper questioned, looking at me.

"I knocked over the pens," Edward admitted.

Jasper chuckled and shook his head. "Nice."

Nice? _Nice_? That wasn't nice. I didn't think he would think that was nice when he saw the carpet cleaning bill. What was the matter with him?

Jasper looked at his watch, then back at Edward. "Hey, you wanna grab some lunch, first? Then we can talk about the collection afterward."

"Yeah, no problem," Edward agreed.

"I know this place called Purple Café we can go to," Jasper offered.

What? No! That was _our_ place!

I shot Edward a nasty glare. This was the second time he'd come in and taken Jasper away from my lunch hour with him. That was our time together!

Edward's eyes whipped to mine, and I didn't even hide my anger. He suddenly began to look back and forth between Jasper and me.

"Bella, go ahead and take two hours for lunch, if you want," Jasper said absentmindedly, and turned towards the doorway.

"Jasper, we…"I began to say a bit desperately, but stopped myself. What was I doing? I was about to tell him that we usually went there, not Edward and him. I couldn't say that.

Jasper turned around and looked at me curiously. "What is it?"

I swallowed thickly and shook my head. "No, nothing. You go ahead…"

Rose walked in, then, and glanced at Jasper and me, then at Edward. "Oh, Mr. Masen. Nice to see you again," Rose greeted.

"Edward, you remember Rose from the appraisal," Jasper voiced.

"Yes, good to see you again, too," Edward said to Rose.

"I really enjoyed looking at your collection. You had some really fascinating pieces," Rose divulged. "I especially liked those nineteenth century surgical tools from the Civil War. My great, great, great grandfather was a surgeon in the war, or a 'butcher' as they were often referred to."

Edward chuckled. "Yes, they were. My great, great, great grandfather was also in the war as a doctor."

"Maybe they knew each other," Rose said lightly, grinning at Edward.

As Rose and Edward continued to talk, Jasper caught my eye. He smirked at me and then nudged his head discreetly towards Edward and Rose as if to say "look at them." I glanced at them and saw they were both smiling at each other. I pursed my lips analytically. They actually would look good together. Underneath that fuzzy five o'clock shadow, I was sure Edward was actually fairly decent looking, and Rose…well…Rose was beyond gorgeous. They'd make a nice match. I glanced back at Jasper and nodded, agreeing with him.

Jasper and I always had this sort of secret language. We could read each other like a book without saying a word. He knew exactly what I was feeling most of the time and vice versa. I guess we were just that much in tune with each other.

Apparently, I'd been too busy staring at Jasper, because Edward and Rose had stopped talking and Jasper was speaking instead.

"Have you been to any of the restaurants or bars around here?" he asked Edward.

"No, actually, I haven't. Not around this area, at least," Edward answered.

"Rose is a really good guide if you want to know the best places in town to go for an evening," Jasper said slyly. Oh, he was good. I had to hold back a chuckle. "If you want, Rose can show you around town tonight."

Rose looked at Jasper with a bemused expression, then at me. I merely smiled at her. She narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah, that sounds cool," Edward agreed, and then cleared his throat. "I have a buddy that would probably like to come along, too."

"Oh, that's great," Rose said in fake excitement. "Then _Bella_ can come, as well."

_What? _

"Perfect! A double date sounds great for you all," Jasper said, looking happy.

_WHAT? No! _

"So, I'll bring my friend and you can bring Bella," Edward confirmed, and glanced at me with some sort of smirk.

How did I get roped into this? My mood plummeted, no longer liking this idea.

Jasper laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist, bringing me closer to him. "Don't look so miserable, Bella. You might like his friend. You never know."

What was he saying? Why was he doing this? I looked at Edward, who was no longer smirking but was frowning. I wondered briefly if his friend was just as scruffy and mopey as he was. I hoped not. Those guys were definitely not my type. My type was…_Jasper._

My heart panged at the thought of having to go on a date I didn't even want to go on. I then realized that I hadn't been on a date in forever.

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Oh yes, a double date. Poor Bella is getting the runaround. **

**Next chapter is the date. Hopefully he won't ruin anymore carpets…*shakes head***

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	4. He was Pleasant to Me

**A/N: **

**Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I read every single one of them. **

**Beta is Lindz26. **

**A mega thank you to RoseArcadia, who made a blinkie for this as well as wrote up a review. She did such a fantastic job and I was truly honored that she offered. If you want to see the blinkie & review, the link is on my profile under "News & Extras." She makes tons of other blinkies for stories that we are all obsessed with.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER FOUR  
*HE WAS PLEASANT TO ME***

I paced back and forth in my living room, feeling like releasing my lunch into the toilet.

That was it! I could say I wasn't feeling well and then cancel.

Except…I hadn't been sick in a year and half. Rose would know I was full of it.

I continued my pacing, my busy mind about to explode. I was supposed to be getting ready for this…this…blind date or whatever it was, but I just couldn't bring myself to move from the living room. Everything was so considerably twisted right now.

Jasper had basically given his consent that I could go on this double date, and that was what confused and pained me. He wanted me to go on a _date_. A date that didn't involve me and Jasper. It was a date that involved me and some weird, random guy that I didn't even know. What if he was mean? What if he was a serial killer? Did Jasper even remotely care?

I sighed. Of course he cared. I knew that. But it was all just so frustrating.

The thing was that I felt like if I went on this date, I'd be somehow cheating on Jasper. This obviously wasn't the case, since I wasn't currently in a relationship with him, but I was still extremely emotionally attached to him. I was in love with him, for heaven's sake! How could I even remotely look at another man with the way I felt? I couldn't; case in point. I could not look at anyone else, _see_ anyone else besides Jasper.

I was angry.

I was sad.

Heartbroken.

I felt like crumbling into a ball on the floor and crying my heart out. This was just so unfair. I wanted to be with Jasper. I wanted to go on dates, go home to his place, spend the rest of the evening curled up on his couch watching classic movies, then go to bed, wrapped up in each other until dawn. I needed that desperately. I yearned for it.

I was completely miserable.

There was a knock on the door, taking me out of my hopeless thoughts. I dragged my woolen sock covered feet over to the door and opened it, revealing a very skimpy looking Rose. She was wearing a short, black and white, form-fitting cocktail dress. In her hand, she was holding some sort of short red dress with a pair of cream colored peep toe high heels.

"Good, you didn't change," Rose said, eyeing me up and down, and then moved past me inside of my apartment.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, shutting the door.

"I figured you'd have already changed into something boring."

"_Boring_? A little black dress isn't boring," I sniped, a bit insulted.

"You dress too conservatively and you know it. It's fine for work functions, but not on a date."

I groaned. "If a guy can't like me for who I am, then I don't want to be with him, anyway." This was ridiculous. Jasper always said he loved the way I dressed. He used to tell me to wear my little black dress out to dinner so that when we went back to his place, he could take it off me...I flushed at the memory…

"Stop thinking about Jasper," Rose snapped.

I gaped at her. "I wasn't," I lied.

She rolled her eyes and spun around, walking into my bedroom. "You always get the same look when you're thinking about him," she said. "But tonight, you're not going to think about him whatsoever. Got that?"

That was a bit difficult and I didn't like that at all, so I chose not to acknowledge what she said as I followed her.

"Put this on," she instructed, and held out the red dress to me.

My eyes went wide and I shook my head. "Nuh-uh. I'm not wearing that. That's way out of my comfort zone."

She sighed. "Bella, you need to get out and try something new for a change." She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me down with her. "I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but I'd like to see you happy. Even if you don't like this mystery guy tonight, at least you can say, 'Hey, I put myself out there and I'm okay now.'''

"What if I don't want to put myself out there?" I questioned. I didn't think I was ready to move on.

"Look," she started, "you're hung up on Jasper, I understand. He's a great guy. But how he ended it with you…You should be upset; you should want to move on from him. At least _try_."

I sighed heavily, looking down at the ground. "Sometimes…" I paused, having trouble speaking for fear that I might completely break down. "Sometimes I think he still likes me…"

"That's not even the issue here," she said, and reached her hand up to tuck my hair behind my ear. "He loves you, Bella. He's enamored with you. I mean, God…sometimes I'll see you leaving your office while he's in his…He just stares at you as you walk by. But like I said, that's not the issue. The issue is that he's playing a game."

I furrowed my brow. "Why would he do that?"

"He knows you'll always be around," she answered. I looked at her, confused. I had no idea what she meant. "Alright, how can I put it?" She stopped, appearing in thought. "Okay, you know how when you first started working for him, he used to ask you to get him a snack from the vending machine? After a while, he stopped asking you because you just did it without having to be told, right?"

"Right…" I said warily, unsure of where she was going with this.

"Well, the same situation can be applied to your relationship with him. He knows you're going to be around—because let's face it, you are—so he took a step back, knowing that at any moment, you'd be with him again when he wants you." She waited for me to say something, but I really didn't know what to say. This didn't sound like something Jasper would do. "Do you want a suggestion?"

"Do I really have a choice here?" I asked. This conversation was starting to make me uncomfortable.

"No," she answered. "My suggestion to you is to take a step back, as well. Become a little unavailable to him. Go out, have fun, _don't_ think about him. When you do that, I guarantee—one hundred percent—he's going to chase after you."

I shook my head. "I think you're mistaken. Jasper isn't like this at all."

She sighed. "Choose what you want to believe, Bella, but just because he's smart, rich, handsome, charming, and sweet, doesn't mean he's any different than most other guys." She patted my knee, stood, and practically threw the red dress at me. "Enough of this; get dressed. We need to leave in ten minutes."

I groaned and decided to give into wearing the dress. I really didn't care, anyway, at the moment. Let the guy think I was a hoochie.

What was I thinking? I didn't want anyone thinking of me like that.

"_Hurry up_," Rose whined.

I went into my bathroom and left it open a crack, so I could talk to her. I began to strip, and put on the dress.

"So, you and Edward, huh?" I questioned a bit mischievously, smiling to myself.

"I don't know," she said dully.

"What do you mean, you don't know? What exactly don't you know?"

"Well, yeah, he's cute and all, but I guess I just have a type of guy I like."

I looked at myself in the mirror, tilting my head to the side to analyze myself. The dress wasn't too bad. It was still skimpy with how tight and short it was, but it was acceptable, and I was sure that the mystery man wouldn't think I was a prostitute. At least, I hoped he wouldn't.

"What type is that?" I inquired.

"You know…manly men, I suppose."

"Edward seems pretty manly; after all, he practically has a beard and is sort of scruffy," I said honestly. Edward was plenty manly to me. How much more manly could you get than him?

"Not that sort of manly. I guess I mean someone that'll throw me against a wall and fuck me until I'm screaming his name."

My eyes turned to saucers. _Ah! Way too much info!_ "I think we need to change the subject," I muttered, and stepped outside of the bathroom.

She looked at me from head to toe and smiled. "You look great. Your mystery guy is gonna love you."

I chuckled nervously, feeling a bit insecure. "I don't know…"

She grabbed the high heel shoes that had been on the bed, and handed them to me. "He will; trust me. He'd be an idiot not to."

I put the shoes on one by one. I liked that they made me taller, but I winced a little at my toes being jam-packed in them.

"So, what do you think he's like?" she questioned.

"Who? Edward?" I asked.

"No, your mystery guy."

I shrugged and went over to my dresser, grabbing my hairbrush off it. "I don't know…but I hope he's pleasant."

X-X-X-X

I reached in my purse as we walked out of the parking lot and towards the restaurant we were supposed to be meeting them. I was trying to get my phone, just to see if anyone had called or texted me…specifically Jasper. He usually liked to text me around this time, so I didn't want to miss it, just in case.

I could feel my fingertips graze over the cool metal. I snatched it and took it out of my bag.

I sighed. _Nope. No texts._

"Put that away, Bella," Rose scolded.

I did as she said, only because Jasper hadn't texted me. We walked up to the Italian restaurant Rose had picked out for our…date. I was really happy she'd chosen an Italian place. I went to Italy when I was just out of high school, and though there were certain things about that trip that made me sick to my stomach to think about, I had really enjoyed Italy. One day, I hoped to go back under different circumstances than the last time.

We went inside and my ears were instantly invaded by loud talking and people bustling around. It was a very chic Italian restaurant with tons of people here. It looked nice, though. I'd have to bring Jasper one time.

I thought I heard my phone go off. I quickly grabbed it back out of my purse…_Nope. No texts._ Where was he?

"There's Edward," Rose said, pointing across the room.

I followed her finger. I had to blink a few times when I finally caught sight of him. He looked different than he normally did. He was wearing a long sleeved, beige, button down checked shirt with tan slacks. But his outfit wasn't what was the most different…it was the fact that he'd _shaved_. He looked…he looked really…nice. _God, Bella, it's okay to think another man is attractive. _

"Wow, scruffy man cleans up well," Rose noted, and shook off her coat.

I flushed slightly, still staring indecently at him. He was just sitting by himself as he looked down at a menu. I shook my head a bit, averting my eyes, and unbuttoned my coat to hang up on the coat rack near the door.

I trailed behind Rose as she led us across the restaurant and to what would be our table that could only seat four. My feet felt like sludge as I walked. A random thought floated through my head that I could try to make a run for it…but that would probably be rude. Maybe they wouldn't notice?

As soon as we got to the table, Edward lifted his eyes from the menu and onto us. Appearing a bit taken aback, he stood abruptly and his chair began to tilt backward. Before it fell, he grabbed it and set it straight.

"Oh, brother…" I heard Rose say under her breath.

Edward looked at me quickly before turning to Rose. "Rosalie, glad you could make it." He issued her a soft smile.

"Call me Rose," Rose offered.

He nodded and then looked at me. "You look great—" He cut himself off quickly and cleared his throat. "You both look really great…" Edward suddenly looked over his shoulder.

Rose gave me a weird look that I couldn't understand. She appeared to be a mixture of amused and irritated.

"What's wrong?" I asked her a bit loudly than I had meant to. She rolled her eyes and took a seat directly across from Edward.

The sound of my voice caught his attention and he began to scramble around the table over to us. He pulled out my chair for me, and I moved in front of it to sit. As he pushed the chair in, I was becoming practically squished against the table. I discreetly scooted the chair back a bit when he walked around to his chair again and sat.

"So, where's the mystery guy?" Rose asked Edward.

"Mystery guy…?" Edward questioned, looking confused, and then realization struck him. "Oh, you mean Emmett. He's just in the bathroom."

We were all silent for a bit, and I took the moment to sneakily look at my phone again. _Still no texts_. I placed it back in my purse and set it on the ground under my chair. When I lifted my head, my eyes connected with green ones staring at me, but just as quickly, they were gone.

"So, Rose," Edward started, shifting in his seat, "how long have you worked with the auction house?"

"Almost two years," she answered, and then smiled. "Same as Bella."

Edward's eyes flashed to mine. "Ah," he said, and then went silent.

"Sorry, sorry. Some dickhead was taking forever in the goddamn bathroom," a loud, deep voice said. I looked up and saw a very tall man with dark, curly hair and deep dimples, dressed in a black V-neck long sleeved shirt and black slacks. He was looking down at me with an impish smile, and I flushed a bit. He was quite good looking.

"Emmett, this is Bella," Edward introduced, not looking at me at all.

Emmett smirked and grabbed my hand off the table. "Well, well…the infamous Bella Swan," he said, and brought my hand up to his lips, lightly placing a kiss on my knuckles. He abruptly let go of my hand for some reason, making a sort of garbled sound, and looked at Edward. "Alright, alright. I got ya. Shit…"

Edward's expression was marred with a scowl as he glared at Emmett. It was a bit unsettling, so I glanced at Rose. She was just staring at Emmett with a blank expression.

"And this must be Rosalie?" Emmett asked, looking at her with a smile.

"Just Rose," she corrected.

Emmett smirked at her. "Well, _just Rose_, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Rose suddenly giggled—very unlike Rose. I furrowed my brow, wondering what was the matter with her, and grabbed my menu.

The date wore on, and by the time we made it through dinner, I was sure of one thing. Emmett was _not_ my type at all. He was obnoxious, blunt, and had the most outrageous, dirty mouth I'd ever encountered. I wasn't opposed to cursing, since I said some choice words sometimes, but he was like…very flavorful with his word usage.

Emmett and Rose had easily slipped into a conversation, while Edward and I remained quiet most of the evening. I spoke when I felt the need, as opposed to Edward, who didn't say a single word the entire meal. Sometimes, I even forgot he was here, until I'd catch him looking at me. Maybe he forgot I was here, too.

I'd managed to sneak in a few more glances at my phone. Still no texts. I was starting to think Jasper had gone to bed early or something. I was a bit disappointed, but perhaps he was just trying to be polite while I was out for the evening.

"You sell vintage cars?" Rose asked Emmett as the waitress came and collected our plates.

"Well, I buy, restore, and resell classic cars," Emmett answered.

"My father has a 1960 Corvette Convertible."

Emmett looked surprised. "Are you shitting me? No fucking way!"

With as many times as he dropped the F bomb tonight, I should've been used to it, but it still took me aback.

"He let my prom date take me to the dance in it," Rose said.

Emmett smirked. "Well, your dad was probably happy that you couldn't get to fuck in the backseat, since it's a two-seater."

She shrugged. "Probably. We just fucked in the front seat, anyway."

I choked loudly, swallowing my saliva the wrong way because of her brazen words.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asked me, looking concerned.

Finally able to breathe again, I nodded. "Yeah, I'm good," I answered, and scowled at Rose, who was fighting to hold back her laughter. Glad she could find my near death experience amusing.

Emmett and Rose returned to talking immediately, and I observed them. They seemed to be having a good time. I wasn't. I wished I could've stayed home. My bed was probably cold without me. I looked away from them and caught Edward looking at me with a raised eyebrow. I raised my eyebrow, too, in question, wondering why he was looking at me like that. He smiled, glanced at Rose and Emmett, and then rolled his eyes.

I understood what he was insinuating. Rose and Emmett were way too similar that it was almost frightening. A small smile began to play at my lips and I quickly pressed them together, trying to mask my amusement. Edward was doing the same thing, which was funny to me. Emmett and Rose had no clue we were secretly making fun of them. I suddenly giggled at the thought, and then quickly covered my mouth with my hand when they stopped talking and stared at me.

"What's so funny?" Rose questioned, looking a bit annoyed.

I shook my head. "No, nothing, sorry…continue talking."

She rolled her eyes and picked up whatever she'd been discussing with Emmett that I hadn't been listening to. I looked back at Edward and he shook his head with a smirk, clearly making fun of the fact that I made a fool out of myself. I narrowed my eyes at him playfully, and he pretended to look wounded, but it faded as the corner of his mouth turned up into a coy smile.

"Well…I'm gonna go to the bathroom," Rose announced suddenly, and stood. She grabbed her purse and quickly walked away.

"Yeah, I'll probably head out for a cig," Emmett said, and stood, as well, leaving Edward and me alone.

It suddenly felt a little awkward. I really didn't know what to say.

"Um…so Emmett smokes?" I asked him lamely.

"Like a chimney," Edward answered, smiling for some reason. "So, are you having fun tonight?"

I wanted to laugh. I was having the opposite of that. "Oh, yes," I lied. Well, it wasn't like I was going to be rude and say no. "You?"

He leaned back in his chair and smirked. "Yep. Time of my life."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of blonde hair, and I discreetly looked in that direction.

_Oh my God!_

I cleared my throat and pushed my chair back. "Um, I need to use the restroom, as well. I'll be back," I said, and stood quickly. Before Edward could say anything, I walked away towards the front entrance of the restaurant. When I got there, I stopped and placed my hands on my hips.

Rose was sneakily grabbing her coat off the rack. I cleared my throat, and she spun around to me, looking completely busted.

"What are you doing?" I asked haughtily.

"Nothing," she answered swiftly, standing frozen with her coat in her hands.

I raised an eyebrow. "That's not _nothing_. You're leaving, aren't you?"

She shifted her eyes. "Maybe…"

I groaned, frustrated. "And you were going to tell me…when?"

She suddenly looked in pain, and then she breathed out in exasperation. "Okay! Fine! I'm leaving, and I was going to tell you when I got in his car."

My eyebrows shot up. "_His_ car?" I questioned, my tone raising. "Whose car?"

She leaned into me. "Emmett," she whispered.

I gasped in horror. "Emmett? What about Edward?" It was awful that Rose was trying to ditch the poor guy for his friend.

Rose looked over my shoulder, and then wrinkled her nose as she looked back at me. She shook her head in the negative. "He's just kinda…" Her voice trailed off.

"Kinda what?"

She shrugged. "Blah."

"_Blah_?" I queried incredulously. "He's not blah…he's…he's…"

"Pleasant?" Rose finished in question, her eyebrow arched. I frowned, not knowing how to respond to that. "But _Emmett_…" She suddenly beamed.

I shook my head. "There are some nice qualities about Edward, I'm sure," I pointed out. I wasn't certain why I was trying so hard to get her to stay with Edward, since it was clear she didn't like him, but it just felt wrong for her to up and leave him. She was his date, after all. "I mean, he seems nice, right?"

"Nice is great…but I wanna fucking get _laid_, Bella," Rose admitted.

My eyes grew wide, and I gaped at her. Resigned that this night had officially gone to hell, I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Come on. Please do me this one favor." She was practically begging me.

"Rose…" I whined.

"You know all those times I've been there for you?" she brought up. "When Jasper broke it off with you, who spent almost every single night with you for a month letting you cry on their shoulder until you fell asleep?"

I instantly felt terrible. She was right. "You…" I admitted softly.

"Exactly. So, I think you can do this for me at least once."

I nodded, defeated.

She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight. "Thank you." She pulled back slightly and kissed my cheek. "I'll text you later…and by later, I mean tomorrow after I get laid." She snorted, and then her expression went serious. "You gonna be okay with him?"

I looked over my shoulder, back at the table. Edward was still sitting there, just staring down into his lap with a blank expression. I suppose he was kinda…blah. I wasn't sure how I'd be able to stay here with him when he barely even talked, but I'd do it for Rose.

"Yeah, no problem," I lied, not wanting to upset her.

"Perfect!" Rose exclaimed.

We both said our goodbyes and I began to make my way back over to the table. Edward looked up just as I pulled out my chair and sat down again.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

I wasn't sure how I was going to tell him Rose had basically skipped out on him. He was probably going to be crushed. He seemed to really like Rose. I realized that I just had to treat this situation like a band-aid—rip it off quickly and let it hurt for a few seconds. "You see…" I started, "the thing with Rose is…"

He sighed loudly, his shoulders slumping. "She left with Emmett, didn't she?"

I gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm really sorry."

He looked taken back. "_You're_ sorry? Emmett shouldn't have done that to you."

I was actually glad Emmett was gone. It wasn't that he was an awful person; in fact, he seemed like a lively guy…but he just wasn't my cup of tea. "Well, I mean…I think Rose really liked you—"

"Bella, it's fine," he interrupted, and then smiled at me. "You wanna get some dessert or something?"

I returned the smile a bit weakly. I sort of just wanted to go home, but I couldn't just leave him. "Yeah, sure, but I didn't see any dessert on the menu."

"Well," he started, scratching the back of his neck, "I saw this ice cream place just two blocks down. We could go there."

"Okay, sure…just let me…" I trailed off, and grabbed my purse so I could pay the bill.

"No, I got it," he said, and out of nowhere, he placed a one hundred dollar bill on the table, and then stood. "Come on."

"You really didn't have to—" I began to say before he cut me off.

"Bella, it's no problem," he insisted, a crease forming in his forehead.

Resigned, I nodded and stood with him.

After I got my coat, we began to walk to the ice cream place Edward knew of. His pace was slower than I'd have liked to walk, but I just sucked it up and strolled along side him slowly. We were silent as we took sluggish steps. Again, I found myself not knowing what to say to him. I didn't understand why it was so hard to speak to him. It wasn't like I wasn't social. I could easily pick up conversation with people if I needed to…but with him, it was always just a bit awkward. Did he feel the same? I wasn't sure. He didn't seem much of a talker. It almost reminded me of my dad. Someone would have to say something to him before he would talk.

"So, how do you know Emmett?" I questioned, trying to break the ice.

He didn't speak for a few seconds, and I wondered if he had heard me, but then he cleared his throat. "I bought a 1949 Ford F-1 pickup from him and we sorta just hit it off," he answered.

I furrowed my brow, not really knowing what he just said. A pickup was a truck, right? He drove a truck? Those things seemed unsafe. I was always grateful I had my little hybrid car. It was a Ford Fusion and I really couldn't be happier with anything but that.

"Oh," was all I could say.

We continued walking in silence, my heels clicking against the sidewalk. It was a brisk evening and not a lot of cars were out tonight, which was unusual for a Friday night in the city, but it was nice not to constantly have headlights shining in my eyes as they passed.

"Again, I'm really sorry about Rose. She's sometimes really impulsive," I apologized.

He chuckled. "Honestly…she's not my type." This surprised me; he'd seemed a bit taken with her. Had I misread him? No, Jasper saw how they looked at each other, too. Maybe Edward was just trying to diffuse the situation. "But Emmett…she's definitely his type."

I laughed. "Yeah, I could tell." All they did was talk to each other the entire meal, not really noticing Edward and I had been there.

"I'm sorry if you liked Emmett…" he said quietly.

I shook my head. "He's not my type," I admitted.

"Ah…" was all he said.

Another minute went by where we didn't say anything. This was really starting to become difficult

"So, you and Jasper seem pretty close," Edward spoke suddenly.

I nodded. "Yeah, we are, actually."

"Ah…"

I could hear my phone ringing in my purse, and I told Edward to excuse me as I pulled it out. I hadn't checked my phone since sometime during the meal. To be honest, I'd forgotten about it. But what I saw on the screen of my phone made me stop dead in my tracks.

_**CODE RED - Jasper**_

My stomach began to twist painfully into knots and my heart rate accelerated. I gasped loudly, completely terrified. It felt like the earth was tumbling out from underneath me and everything was crashing in on me.

Jasper was in trouble. I had to go _now_.

"What's wrong, Bella? What is it?" Edward asked, looking at me with so much concern. I felt awful to have to do this…

"I'm so sorry, but…" I began to say, my voice cracking a bit, "I have to go."

"But we're almost at the ice cream place. Can't you stay?" he questioned.

I shook my head vehemently. "I really can't," I replied, and began to back up in the opposite direction. My steps were growing further and further from him. "Again, I'm so sorry."

_Bella, hurry up! Jasper needs you! _

With that, I spun around and swiftly began to walk away, not looking back. I realized that Rose had driven us over and she'd either gone with Emmett or taken her car. Either way, I had no transportation. Thinking fast, I looked out for a cab. When one finally came, I hailed it and practically threw myself in.

If something happened to Jasper, I didn't know how I could live with myself. I knew that I'd surely die.

* * *

**A/N: **

**I can guess your thoughts… "She totally ditched him. Poor Edward." Am I right? Well, I agree.  
**

**A lot of you guessed correctly that her date would be Emmett, but you also thought Bella and Edward would really hit it off. Don't worry, my pretties. I have a plan. **

**I forgot to mention in my last chapter that I've changed the update schedule of this to Tuesdays. Sorry for the confusion. Remember to stop by the MPMI Twilighted forum and ask for a teaser! **

**There's a Polyvore on my profile that accompanies this chapter. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	5. He Barely Spoke to Me

**A/N: **

**Wow. I can feel the Bella hate radiating through my screen. You guys wanted to bitch slap her, then tear off Jasper's testicles. Remind me never to ditch you guys on a sidewalk on the way to an ice cream parlor.**

**Beta is Lindz26.**

**For those that have a hard time with it, be forewarned…there's a little non-canon canoodling in this chapter.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER FIVE  
*HE BARELY SPOKE TO ME***

With shaking hands, I pushed the key into the lock and turned. It was a good thing I still had the spare set that Jasper had given me. I stepped into his penthouse and shut the door swiftly behind me, my heart about ready to jump out of my throat.

"Jasper?" I called out frantically. _Please be okay, please be okay. _

"In here!" he yelled out. Oh no. He sounded distressed and in pain…What had he done?

Not wasting any more time, I walked through the foyer, the Seattle lights flowing through the large bay windows, and then towards the direction of where his voice had been coming from. It sounded like he was in his entertainment room.

My heels clicked loudly against the marble floor, almost as loudly as my panicked heart crashing against my ribcage. I made it to his entertainment room and pushed open the door that was ajar. What I saw just about gave me a heart attack. Jasper….bent over with his hands on his thighs.

_Oh no! Is he choking? _

"Oh my God! Jasper, are you okay?" I questioned, out of breath.

He suddenly stood straight and looked at me with a wide grin. "Oh, hi," he greeted cheerfully. However, his expression instantly fell as his eyes began to roam over me.

"Did something happen?" I inquired, still hoping he was alright.

"Is that what you wore to the date?" he asked, his eyes glued to my outfit.

I raised an eyebrow and then immediately felt bashful. "Oh, uh, yeah. It's Rose's dress."

He blinked a few times, looking in a daze. "So, did you like Emmett?" he queried, a bit monotone. Oh no…maybe he was sleep deprived. Did he need me to get him some medication?

"Uh…yeah, he was nice," I answered softly.

His eyes suddenly found mine, a prominent crease forming on his forehead. "Are you…going to go out with him again?"

I looked at him curiously. He appeared to be completely fine, not sick, not hurt, not anything. He was dressed in his usual pair of pajamas—a white cotton undershirt and flannel pants.

"Jasper, why did you send me a Code Red message if you're okay?" I inquired. "You could've called, you know."

Jasper and I had formed a system for if he needed me for whatever reason—work related or personal. Code Green meant the matter wasn't dire and that I could call him anytime, but I usually called straight away. Code Yellow meant that the situation needed attention, but was not extreme, and I should contact him as soon as I was available. Then there was Code Red, which indicated that the issue was an emergency and I should drop everything.

He had only used Code Red twice. There was one specific time when I was staying at my parents' house for a weekend and one of our auctioned items went missing right before the scheduled auction. It turned out, one of the employees had stolen it. They were fired immediately.

Another time was more personal. He'd gotten a call from his father that his mother had been in a severe car accident. When he sent me the text, I was with Rose at a department store and I had to leave her there. When I got to his place, his eyes were bloodshot like he'd been crying. As soon as I calmed him down, we both got on a plane to New York. Thank goodness she was alright. So, you could imagine how panic-stricken I would be by seeing a Code Red text.

"Oh," he whispered, and then shook his head. He turned away from me and walked over to the large, black leather couch opposite the giant flat screen television. He grabbed the remote control that was resting on it and turned on the TV. The DVD logo popped up on the screen. "Edward sent me a text saying he thought Rose ditched him, so I decided to get you out of there." He glanced at me, then back to the television. "Edward, too, of course."

I wasn't sure whether to sigh in frustration or smile. I'd wanted to leave the entire night, but he hadn't called or texted, yet when he had, it shook me so badly that I had to abandon Edward practically in the street. When would I ever stop messing up with that man? I could completely understand if he hated me.

"Why were you bent over before?" I questioned. I had been certain he was choking.

He walked right next to the television to his shelf of DVDs, bent over, and plucked two DVD cases. He held them up for me to see. "I was just looking for a movie for us to watch," he said with a sheepish smile. "Which do you want to see, _An Affair to Remember_ or _Sabrina_?"

I couldn't help but slowly emit a grin. He wanted to watch a classic movie with me. We hadn't done that in…ages. We used to watch old fifties movies all the time when we both wanted to unwind. We'd lie down on his leather couch, my back to his chest, and watch it all the way through. He'd kiss my neck occasionally and whisper in my ear parts that he liked that were coming up.

"_An Affair to Remember_," I answered, trying to contain the overwhelming sensation of happiness I was feeling as the remnants of the evening completely evaporated.

He winked at me. "Good choice," he agreed, and popped the DVD into the player.

I set my purse down and looked around, feeling overwhelmingly comforted. I hadn't been here in six months. It should've felt foreign to me, but oddly enough, it felt like home. My actual apartment was what felt foreign, since I had barely spent time in it while with Jasper. His penthouse brought back so many good memories.

He walked over to the couch and sat down right in the middle. "Come," he demanded softly, patting the spot directly next to him. I obliged and sat, our thighs two inches from each other. He pressed some buttons on the remote control, bringing the movie to life, and then set it down. We fell into silence, both staring at the TV.

I could feel his eyes on me, even though I knew his head wasn't turned in my direction. My leg, just a short distance from his, was humming with the need to feel it pressed against his. I awkwardly kept my hands in my lap, unsure of how to sit, how to breathe, how to do anything.

Why did this feel so weird? It was _Jasper_. I knew him in every way possible.

The credits rolled as the movie flowed into the beginnings of the love affair on the cruise. This had always been my favorite part—them meeting—but it was hard to enjoy it with this tension in the air.

In a very slow movement, Jasper slid closer to me, our thighs touching. His hand, which had settled in his lap before, began to position right on my bare kneecap. The feel of his smooth hands electrified my body in desire and I tried my best to squelch the familiar need to claim him, because if this had been several months ago, I most likely would've swung my leg over and straddled him by now…but this was a different time…and I could _not_ do that. He gently rubbed my knee with his palm in small circles.

"Cold?" he asked, his voice gentle and soothing.

With what his hand was doing, I couldn't tell him that I was a bit cold. I didn't want to. I wanted him to keep doing exactly what he was doing. So, I merely shook my head. His hand continued its rhythmic rubbing for a few more seconds, until he hooked his long fingers under my knee and lifted my leg. I was surprised at the movement, unsure of what he was doing, until he placed my leg across his lap, and then brought my other leg to lay next to it.

At this point, I wasn't even watching the movie, too caught up in his constant touch. He ran his hands down my bare legs, painfully slowly, as if treasuring each inch of skin, and then stopped at my high heels, his fingertips brushing over the straps.

"As much as I like these…they need to go," he muttered, and slid them from my feet, one by one.

He didn't remove his hands after that; instead, he started to rub my feet absentmindedly as he watched the movie. My breathing became labored and I fought to prevent my eyes rolling into the back of my head. What he was doing was severely turning me on. I felt the need to shift due to the strong heat flowing between my thighs, but I couldn't risk him removing his hands.

He suddenly turned his head to me, his deep blue eyes burrowing right into my own. He stopped the movement of his hands and placed my feet on the floor, our eyes still trained on each other. Lifting himself up slightly, he shifted his weight onto his knees on the couch, and hovered over me. He gently pushed me back to lie down.

"Scoot forward a bit," he instructed.

I did as he said and positioned my body so I was lying on my side right along the front of the couch. He moved directly behind me, the front of his body molding perfectly to the back of mine. I could feel his warm breath against the side of my neck and his nose trace along the shell of my ear. My body was on high alert, reacting to what he was doing, although simple, completely effective.

When he brought his hand around my front and raked his fingers from my stomach, up towards my chest, I knew for certain he wasn't watching the movie anymore. He cupped my breast in his palm and began to massage it firmly.

"Jasper," I couldn't help but gasp, the pleasure too much to hold myself back. I squirmed, shifting further back into him, and felt his hard arousal, nestled against my lower back.

"Bellsy," he whispered in a moan, and sucked my ear into his mouth, his tongue hot as it darted out and flicked my lobe.

Reaching behind me, I laced my fingers into his soft, wavy hair. I was in such a state of lust, basking in the sensations he was offering, that I'd almost missed him calling me his nickname for me. He hadn't called me that since we stopped seeing each other. I wanted to question why he was calling me that now, but his tongue had moved to the hollow beneath my ear, tracing slow circles.

I couldn't take the teasing…I needed him now. I'd been apart from him for too long and I craved more.

I flipped around abruptly, my face centimeters from his. His eyes were dark and full of passion, most likely mirroring my own. My lips ached to be on his soft ones. After all this time…I yearned for this—for him. I slowly leaned in, our noses brushing, and could feel his parted lips just barely touch my own, when he abruptly pulled away and sat up, bringing me up to sit next to him.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, shaking his head and looking anywhere but at me. "I'm not sure what got into me."

_No…no! Please God, no_, I pleaded in my thoughts.

Feeling rejected and disheartened, I wrapped my arms around my body. Why had I practically jumped him? I should've controlled myself!

"You're cold, let me get you a blanket," he said in a rush, and quickly hopped off the couch. "I'm just going to go to the bathroom, too." He left the room swiftly, leaving me alone with the television screen flashing scene to scene.

I rested my head back against the couch. I was more confused than ever. The way he touched me and looked at me….it was all sending me into a tailspin. But what did it mean? Why would he just touch me and then stop?

I suddenly felt the strong need to crawl into bed in my _own_ home.

X-X-X-X

The auction on Sunday had been great. We had a good turn out with enthusiastic buyers from around the Seattle area. They bid on every single item, which was fantastic for us, and of course, the sellers. We usually had an auction on the last Sunday of every month.

The success of the auctions varied month to month. Sometimes we'd get an overzealous crowd with money lined in their pockets, and other times, we'd have something a little less satisfying. But we worked hard to make sure there were always at least a few very interesting antiques on the auction block.

I walked into work bright and early Monday morning, looking forward to a bit of a relaxing day. Jasper was going to be out of town visiting his parents for the next couple days, which meant I wouldn't have much to do except keep track of what everyone else was doing. I also had to start calling the highest bidders from the previous day's auction to confirm the payment and shipments of the items they'd bought.

To be honest, and I couldn't believe I was even entertaining this thought, but I was a bit relieved Jasper was going to be away, even if it was just for a short amount of time.

After he'd touched me on Friday evening and then changed his mind, he'd immediately gone back to being the same guy I'd come to know the last several months—my friend-slash-boss, Jasper. He hadn't so much as brought up what happened after that and neither had I.

Of course, after I left his penthouse, I was completely beside myself. I went home, got into bed, threw the covers over my head, and cried until my wet eyes were shutting with sleep. It continued on like that for the entire weekend, even during the day. I just couldn't understand why he'd touched me like that and then just rejected me at the flick of a switch. So, as much as I, deep down, wanted to see him, I was grateful to be able to recollect myself so that he wouldn't see what a complete and utter mess I was.

The first half of my Monday passed with little disturbance, except from Rose who went on and on about her rendezvous with Emmett. Apparently, after they'd…gotten together on Friday evening, they continued seeing each other over the weekend. Unfortunately, for me, I had to hear about all their sexual acts, and Rose wasn't exactly vanilla.

I'd also heard through Rose, who had heard through Emmett, that Edward was no longer in town. Apparently, he'd gone back home after I'd left him on Friday evening. However, where "home" was exactly, I didn't know, and I didn't bother to inquire.

I still felt a little awful for what I did to him that night, but not as much as I thought I would. Perhaps I had come to terms with the fact that I would continue to insult, humiliate, and treat Edward with disrespect. Of course, I wasn't doing this all consciously, but either way, I'd screwed up with him far more times than I should have. I didn't quite understand it, because I was usually so professional with our clients. Edward was the first person I'd ever had issues with. So, I decided that, in the future, I should probably have very little contact with him, unless need be. It was for the best of the company.

Around the late afternoon, I was in my office, when Angela buzzed and told me there was a delivery for me. I was uncertain what it could be, since I wasn't expecting anything.

When a man came into the main office, holding a large glass vase of calla lilies, my eyes widened. Someone had sent me flowers? _Me_? There had to be a mistake.

I saw there was a small card stuck in the bouquet, so I pulled it out.

_**She walks in beauty, like the night  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:  
Thus mellowed to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.**_

The poem was beautiful…but the flowers definitely couldn't be for me. However, because I didn't know who, in fact, they were for, I kept them on my desk right next to my computer for the entire day. I'd glance at them periodically, admiring them. They were really quite beautiful, even though they weren't something I would particularly choose as my preferred flower. Yet, whoever they were meant for was very lucky.

On Tuesday, I was a bit late, due to some construction work on Union St., just a block away from the auction house, so I had to park a street over and walk all the way down…in four-inch heels. It wasn't my idea of a Tuesday morning, that was for sure.

When I eventually made my way into the main office, I heard Rose's voice calling my name. I saw her in her office with a moderately sized crystal vase on her desk, housing yellow tulips. She was on the phone and began to hang up as I walked in.

"Hey," I greeted with a playful grin. "Those from Emmett?" Maybe the flowers I'd gotten yesterday had actually been meant for her.

She snorted unattractively. "Nope," she answered.

I raised an eyebrow. "Then, who?" I wasn't aware that she was dating someone else. She hadn't told me, if so.

She rolled her eyes and stood, walking around her desk to the tulips. "They're for you," she revealed, and plucked the card buried within the tulips. "_Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful."_ Her tone was mocking and cynical as she pretended to imitate a man.

"Give me that," I demanded, and snatched the card from her, to which she laughed. The card had no indication of who it was from. It was simply one sentence. "Did the delivery man say who the sender was?"

She shook her head. "No. I asked, but he was an idiot and said he didn't know and that he just delivered the flowers. Figures…it's not like they're paid for their intelligence, just their quick, brawny legs."

I frowned and grazed a finger along the bud of a tulip. "I really don't think this is for me…"

"Bella, trust me; they're for you," she assured. "You got flowers yesterday, too, right?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"They're for you," she interrupted stoically, and then smiled as she looked into the main office. "Wonder who your secret admirer is."

I glanced at everyone with her. Most of the men that worked here were married, to be honest. There were a couple that I knew to be dating, and maybe one that was single…but I really didn't think it was any of them, since I didn't speak that much to anyone other than Rose or...

"Do you think they're from Jasper?" I questioned a bit hopefully.

"Well…" she started slowly, before I cut her off.

"I mean, he's in New York right now, so maybe he would send these knowing that he was away and I couldn't ask him about it," I reasoned. Perhaps he was trying to show his affection for me in secret…Maybe he was changing his mind, but was afraid of what I'd say because of the other night.

She shrugged and looked down at the flowers. "Maybe…" she said a bit warily.

I picked up the vase of tulips off her desk and decided to put them right next to the calla lilies in my office. I admired them quite openly for the rest of the day.

On Wednesday morning, around lunch time, the delivery man was back, this time, with a pure white vase of large, white gardenias. He looked very annoyed for some reason, and I thought he might've been upset that he had to visit this office three days in a row. But I wasn't complaining, because the gardenias smelled wonderful. As usual, there was a card with it.

_**To you, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world.**_

"Wow, someone is really trying to get your attention, here," Rose analyzed. I flushed and moved the vase so it was directly next to the tulips. "I mean…calla lilies, yellow tulips, gardenias…and then the messages along with them." She looked in thought for a second and then walked around my desk to sit at the computer.

"What are you doing?" I inquired.

She began typing quickly on the keyboard. "Just looking up the meanings of the flowers," she replied, and clicked a few times before she glanced up at me with a smirk. "The calla lilies mean, '_You're beautiful_,' the yellow tulips mean, '_There's sunshine in your smile_,' and the gardenias mean, '_You're lovely_.' All the messages along with the flowers seem to coincide with the meaning. Looks like your secret admirer did a little research."

The fact that someone had put so much time and effort into the meaning behind the flowers had me smiling inwardly like a twelve year old girl. It was sweet and thoughtful. But I knew that whoever it was, wasn't just someone. They obviously knew me and that I'd like this sort of thing. I was one hundred percent certain now that it was who I thought it was.

"They're from Jasper," I stated confidently.

She turned a bit in my swivel chair and it squeaked. "They are? Are you sure?" she questioned incredulously.

"Yes, I'm positive," I answered boldly.

"Hmm," she hummed briefly in thought. "That man's finally come to his senses, then."

"Oh, Rose, don't say it like that," I scolded.

"What?" she asked me, as if I had two heads. "You defend the man far more than he deserves, Bella."

"That's not true," I insisted.

"He's a dickhead," she insulted dryly.

"Rose!" I scoffed with a scowl. "He is not!"

"And that—" she pointed to me "—is what I mean. No, he's not a dickhead, but what he did to you was a pretty dick move."

I sighed. "All he ever did was be honest with me."

She stood and placed a hand on my shoulder. "That's not the dick move, Bella. What _is_ the dick move is befriending you again and acting like nothing ever happened between you two, then utilizing you for when he needs someone."

"We're friends, Rose," I explained.

"Men can't be friends. Not without some sort of benefit involved."

X-X-X-X

The rest of my day was spent a little solemnly. I considered what Rose said and tried to apply it to my friendship with Jasper. The fact was that he did act as if nothing ever happened between us, and that always confused me. Perhaps it was so that he didn't hurt my feelings. I could believe that. But whether he utilized me for his benefit, I didn't dare think that. I knew Jasper, and I was certain that he was a good-hearted man. He would never use me.

On Thursday, Jasper came back to the office with a smile on his face. He was in a very good mood and greeted me with the same cheerful disposition as he always had. And, as usual, like the past few days, I received a delivery—red carnations.

This time was different, because Jasper was here now; however, he'd been in a meeting the entire morning, so he hadn't witnessed the arrival. I had no clue how to confront him or whether I should. The flowers were so sweet—and don't get me wrong—but if he had something he wanted to say to me, I wanted him to be able to express it face-to-face.

I plucked the card from the flowers, smiling ear to ear, and read the message slowly, wanting to fully absorb the beautiful words I knew would be there.

_**She's staying at her sister's for the  
weekend and taking the brats along.  
Let's meet at Motel 6 around eight.  
Bring the lube, babe. **_

My mouth dropped. I had to read the card twice to make certain I was reading correctly. However, my shocked expression was soon replaced with absolute mortification and utter disgust.

Was this some sort of sick joke that I was supposed to laugh at? I didn't find this funny in the least. It was appalling! I was beyond irked. My face became red, flushed in embarrassment and anger.

I couldn't believe Jasper would send this! This was so wrong in more ways than I could count.

I stood from my desk and walked around it, holding the card so tightly between my index finger and thumb that I thought I might rip a hole through it. I stormed out into the main office and instantly caught sight of Jasper walking towards his own office with…Edward alongside of him.

What was he doing here? No, I couldn't think of that now. I was livid! I was pissed!

"Ah, Bella," Jasper greeted, walking by me and into his office. "We were just talking about you. Come in here with us."

I was so angry at him right now that I hadn't even heard what Edward said to me as I stomped past him and into Jasper's office.

"You think this is funny?" I immediately questioned to Jasper as soon as he took a seat behind his desk.

"What's funny?" he asked, looking confused. The nerve of him!

I bent over his desk and waved the card in his face. "This!" I yelled. "Is this your idea of a joke?" My tone was loud and accusing.

He took the card out of my hand and his eyes raked over the words. He suddenly leaned backwards in his chair and threw his head back in laughter. Unbelievable! I tried to snatch the card from him, but he pulled it out of my reach, continuing to guffaw rudely.

"Edward, you have to see this," he said through laughs, and before I knew what was happening, he passed the card across his desk to Edward, who had seated himself down without me knowing.

Edward read the card slowly, and then I watched as his eyes widened and blinked rapidly. He looked flustered, his face becoming tinged with a deep shade of red. He didn't laugh like Jasper had, nor did he crack a smile. _Thank you! At least someone else sees how unhumorous this is!_

Not thinking at all, I snatched the card out of his still fingers and ripped it in half. I turned back to Jasper with a scornful look.

"Oh, Bella, don't be so grumpy," Jasper said, amused.

"Jasper," I started haughtily, "those red carnations you sent—they were so beautiful, and then you had to throw in that awful card. It was just—"

"Huh?" Jasper questioned, looking bewildered as he cut me off. "I didn't send you any flowers."

I slowly furrowed my brow as his words sunk in. "What?" I asked sharply.

"I usually send you pink roses. You know that."

I blinked a few times, my anger slightly diffusing, but not entirely. He was right. He always sent me pink roses, and all the flowers that had been sent to me were definitely not that. So, then, who sent me those…?

"Someone sent you flowers?" he inquired as an after thought.

Without answering him, I walked out of his office and into my own. I stared at the row of flowers I'd collected over the last couple of days. The calla lilies and tulips were beginning to wilt now. Whoever had sent these clearly wanted to make a fool out of me. What was their plan? To send me sweet messages and then suddenly send me a disgusting one for their own amusement?

The thought of seeing these flowers still on my desk was making me even more incensed, so I grabbed the calla lilies, marched through the main office, and into the break room. I took the flowers out of the vase and threw them in the trash, then poured the water into the sink and tossed the vase out, as well. After I was fully satisfied with that, I went back to my office, grabbed the tulips, and stomped towards the break room. I didn't get far before I almost crashed into someone, the water in the vase tipping over the edge a bit.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I apologized, and looked up to see Edward appearing just as flustered as when I saw him before.

"No, no…wasn't watching where I was going," he uttered quickly.

I nodded and tried to step around him, but he seemed to be thinking along the same lines because he took a step in the same direction as me. I took a step the other way, but he did the same. I laughed nervously and waited for him to step around me, which he finally did.

"Sorry," he muttered softly, before moving past me.

With the vase of tulips in my hands, I walked back into the break room and did the same as with the calla lilies—dumping the flowers, pouring out the water, and tossing the vase. On my way back to retrieve the gardenias, I noticed Edward in the conference room on his cell phone. There was a defined crease in his brow and a scowl on his face as he spoke. He wasn't yelling, but he was definitely arguing with someone. I couldn't hear, since the conference room was pretty sound proof. He briefly caught my eye, but just as quickly, turned his back so I couldn't see him.

With all four sets of flowers in the trash, I relaxed in my office, pulling out my chair and gingerly sitting down, hoping to forget about those awful flowers. I was just about to log onto my computer, when there was a tentative knock on the door. I glanced at the doorway and saw Edward. What was he doing here?

"Come in, Ed—"_No, I can't call him that. I have to be professional with him now_. "Mr. Masen," I corrected.

He frowned for some reason, but then walked in and sat down across from me. We were silent for a bit as I waited for him to speak.

"Would you like something to drink?" I questioned, the words slicing through the thick silence of the room. I didn't think he heard me, because he was just staring at me. "Mr. Masen?"

He shook his head minutely, as if coming out of a daze. "No," he choked suddenly, causing me to blanch a little.

I waited, again, for him to speak, but he didn't say a word. Thankfully, my work line began to ring. I told him to give me a moment, and picked up the phone.

"Isabella Swan," I greeted.

"Bella, did you happen to schedule in Edward's collection for the next auction?" It was Jasper.

"No," I said, and pulled out the scheduler. "For January, right?"

"Yes, January thirtieth. He wanted it soon, but we're not having a December auction, since it'll be the Christmas weekend, so I hope he'll be okay with the delay."

I grabbed a sharpened pencil inside in one of my drawers. "I'm sure it'll be fine," I replied, and looked at Edward. His expression was blank, so I gave him a polite smile. I saw the corners of his mouth slowly begin to turn up, until I dropped my eyes to the scheduler.

"Yes, I think so, too. Anyway, schedule that in and we'll talk later."

I agreed and said goodbye.

As soon as I hung up the phone, I penciled Edward's collection into the auction at the end of January. While I wrote quietly, I was hyper aware of Edward's presence. He shifted in his chair, which emitted an eerie creaking sound when he did so. He cleared his throat, breathed in deeply through his nose, brought up his ankle to rest on his knee, and then released the air he'd been holding. After a second, he dropped his leg…but no sooner than doing that, he shifted in his chair and brought his leg up again.

It was all very odd, and I tried not to watch him as he did it, but I couldn't help but notice his movement through my peripheral vision as I finished writing.

"Bella," Edward said softly, garnering my attention.

I set my pencil down and lifted my eyes to his.

"I need—" Edward began to say, but was swiftly interrupted by a cell phone going off. The ringtone was unfamiliar, so I knew it wasn't mine. He looked agitated as he bent forward slightly and reached into the back pocket of his jeans. He pulled out his cell phone and glanced at it before he stood up abruptly. "I need to go…"

"Oh, uhh...okay," I fumbled, taken aback by his sudden desire to leave.

"Bye," he mumbled quietly, and exited out of my office. I saw him poke his head into Jasper's office briefly before he disappeared on his way to the elevator.

I pursed my lips, unsure of what had just happened, but pushed it out of my brain and went back to work.

At the end of the day, I was tired and just wanted to go home and climb into bed in my warm pajamas. I was about to log off my computer, when my work line suddenly rang. I sighed and picked it up.

"Isabella Swan," I greeted wearily, hoping this didn't last long so I could leave.

"Yes, Miss Swan, I'm a representative from flowers-dot-com, calling about a mistake with your most recent delivery," a woman said.

"Mistake?" I questioned, my brain not appearing to be working.

"Yes, it appears there was a slight mix up. The card you received along with the red carnations was meant for another recipient. I'm terribly sorry about that."

So…the card hadn't been meant for me? I was suddenly feeling ashamed about my behavior earlier. "Were the carnations meant for someone else, as well?" I asked.

"No, the delivery of the red carnations was correct, just the card was wrong." Did that mean there was someone out there with the card intended for me? "Again, we're very sorry about the mix up and can offer you a voucher for a free purchase of anything under ninety dollars."

"No, I don't need that…but can you tell me what the card was originally supposed to say?" I inquired, extremely curious.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. The sender wished to retain the message."

I frowned. Why had he done that? I shook my head in assuming that the person was a male. It could've been a female, too…I supposed.

"Alright, that's fine. Can you tell me who sent the flowers, then?" I asked.

"The sender wished to remain anonymous, as well."

I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Then why would he send flowers for days and all those messages if he doesn't want me to know who he is. I mean, it's not like I'm going to judge him or anything; in fact, I thought it was all very sweet…" I babbled aimlessly, but then realized the person on the other line probably didn't care, so I sighed. "Um, thank you for the call."

"You're welcome, and on behalf of flowers-dot-com, we sincerely apologize and hope you will use us as your preferred flower delivery service in the future."

_Doubtful._

"Yes, okay, thanks, bye," I said in a rush, and hung up.

Sitting in my chair quietly, I stared down at my desk in thought. It was bugging me that I didn't know who sent all those flowers. And the fact that I couldn't know, made me want to know even more. It was absolutely frustrating. I should've demanded that they tell me who sent me the delivery; after all, I was the one who got the scummy message. Plus, I desperately wanted to know what had been said on the card.

Rose had told me that the flowers and the messages went together...so what were the odds that the carnations' message followed the same pattern?

I twisted my chair, angling it towards the computer, and typed _flower meanings_ into the search engine. When I scrolled down a website to _red carnations_ and saw just what exactly the flowers meant, I stopped breathing entirely.

_**My heart aches for you.

* * *

**_

**A/N:**

**Oh my. Who is this mystery man sending her all these flowers? **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was probably one of my favorites to write. Next up, things get mighty interesting.**

**Remember to stop by the forum!  
**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx **


	6. He Embarrassed Me

**A/N: **

**Major dislike for Jasper. Keep in mind that he may not be our Mr. Perfect, but he's hers. We don't know how he was with her during their relationship, and I have no plans to rehash instances of perfection from their past relationship. So, just trust me on that one.**

**Super awesome beta is Lindz26. She did this even though she was sick and I told her she didn't have to. Thanks so much!

* * *

**

**CHAPTER SIX  
*HE EMBARRASSED ME***

I shut off the light in the break room and went back out into the main office. Almost everyone had gone home, except for me and one other person. I walked towards Jasper's office, seeing him hunched over his desk reading something. His brow was furrowed and there was a crease lined on his forehead. I knocked quietly on his door, garnering his attention.

"Hey," I said softly, and his shocking blue eyes found mine, instantly making me feel warm inside. "You getting ready to go? I'm closing up now."

"Yeah, I'll leave soon. I just have some paperwork I need to catch up on that I've been putting off," he answered. I nodded and turned to go into my own office, when he began talking again. "Oh, Bella?"

"Yes?" I questioned.

"Since it's Friday, do you want to go out someplace with me?" he asked, a small smile twisting at his lips.

I tried not to smile, but it was very hard. "Of course. Where did you have in mind?"

"Just a bar about ten minutes away I've been wanting to go to. It's called Sluggers Bar & Grill."

I frowned minutely. A bar? It wasn't like I hadn't been to those bar and grill type of places, but it wasn't my favorite. They usually had those sports games on the TVs and were _loud_. Very, very loud.

I wanted to go somewhere quiet with him, so it could just feel like us. But if this was the type of place I had to go to in order to spend time with him, then I'd do it.

"Yeah, no problem," I agreed.

He glanced down at his paperwork before looking back at me. "I'm not sure how long this is going to take me, but I'm hoping to be out of here in ten minutes. Why don't you go along and we can meet up there in an hour or so."

I nodded and told him I was going to head out now and that I'd see him there.

Before I left, I went into my office and shut off my computer. Surveying my organized desk, I sighed. I hadn't gotten any flowers today whatsoever. I figured whoever was sending me them realized they made a mistake or that I wasn't worth the trouble. I missed getting them because it was a nice surprise each day to come into work and see what different type of flowers I'd get. But now that it was over, perhaps it was for the best.

I went home and printed out the directions to the place and dressed casually, since that was what the bar website said to dress like. I rarely got to wear my casual clothes, except for on the weekends, but I usually didn't since I stayed in a lot lately.

After I threw on some jeans, a light gray turtleneck sweater, and a pair of black knee-high boots, I drove fifteen minutes to where Jasper said to meet. I looked at my phone, checking to see if he'd called, but he hadn't.

I groaned slightly as I walked up to the bar and could hear the loud laughing and talking of men that were probably well on their way to being drunk. As soon as I opened the door, the noise was amplified by a thousand. I walked in and looked around, seeing the set up of the bar, several small tables that could fit four people, a few booths, pool tables, and of course, the massive TVs that played random sports games.

Briefly, I wondered if Jasper would want a booth or a table, and I was about to pull out my phone to call him, when I caught sight of a familiar mop of dark hair that I wasn't expecting at all. My hand froze in my purse, and I stared at him.

Edward was here.

_What is he doing here? What should I do? Should I go greet him casually? Would it be rude just to walk by him and not say anything at all?_

In the meantime, the hostess came up to me and asked how many were in my party, and I had to make a decision fast. I quickly realized that Jasper would probably be glad to see him, so it would most likely be beneficial to go up to him.

I told the hostess not to worry about it, and then I just moseyed on in. Edward was sitting by himself, his arm slung over the back of the chair adjacent to him as he watched one of the TVs. He was dressed very casually in cargo pants and an olive green long-sleeved shirt that complimented his eyes.

Complimented his eyes?_ My goodness._

"Mr. Masen," I greeted, standing opposite Edward, but he hadn't noticed I was here as he continued to stare up at the TV. It was noisy in here, so it was understandable. "Mr. Masen." My tone was louder this time, but he still hadn't heard me.

_Okay, what do I do now?_

I supposed I could poke him or something, but…no that would be far too inappropriate.

I didn't have to, though, because the sports game suddenly went onto commercial and he lowered his eyes directly to mine. Realization crossed his face, and he stood, fumbling a little.

"Bella, I'm sorry—how long have you been standing there?" he asked frantically.

I couldn't help but laugh. He looked like he genuinely hadn't known I was standing here. "Just a minute or so. Nothing of consequence," I said honestly.

For a second, I saw his eyes drop down to what I was wearing, and I wondered if I had something on my sweater. I'd have to check later.

"Have a seat," he said, and gestured to the chair across from him. I began to pull the chair out, until he stopped me by speaking. "Oh, wait!" He came around the table and pulled out the chair for me.

"You don't have to do that," I said, but he seemed determined, so I sat and let him push the chair in. Just like that night at the restaurant, he pushed it a bit too far and I had to scoot back a tad.

He sat across from me and smiled. It was sort of endearing, but I felt bad that I'd just come over here and sat at his table without his permission.

"I'm really sorry to intrude. I wasn't thinking," I apologized. "Jasper invited me here and I saw you when I came in, so I thought I'd come over and say hi."

His smile dropped and he furrowed his brow. "Yes, I know Jasper invited you…he invited me, too."

I arched an eyebrow. "He, what?"

"Didn't he tell you?" he questioned.

What was going on? "Tell me what exactly?"

"We made plans yesterday for us to go out—Jasper, me, you, and my friend, Emmett. I figured you already knew…"

"Uhhh," I started to say. Why hadn't Jasper told me this sooner? He usually wasn't this flippant. And then when he did invite me, he'd forgotten to mention that Edward and Emmett would be coming along. I looked at Edward, who was appearing a bit nervous, so I smiled. "That's fine. No big deal." Even though I said that, I was still a little annoyed that it wouldn't be just me and Jasper tonight.

I looked over my shoulder in hopes of seeing him, but he wasn't here yet. I didn't know whether to call him or not. I didn't want to disturb him.

"Who are you looking for?" Edward asked.

"Oh, sorry, Mr. Masen. I was just check—" I began to say before he swiftly interrupted.

"Bella," he started a bit forcefully, but then a softness took over his features. "Can you please not call me that? I'm an old friend of Jasper's and I'd like us to be friends, too."

He wanted to be friends? Even after all that I did to him? It was shocking, to say the least, but could I really be friends with him? A part of me wanted to. He seemed like a decent guy—a bit shy and clumsy, yes, but overall, pretty nice. And I'd only ever been rude to him. But I could be friends with him…right? The thought of that created butterflies in my stomach and I had no clue why.

"Of course, Edward," I agreed.

He nodded, and then we went silent.

I fidgeted in the rickety chair a bit as I tried to get comfortable, but it wasn't helping. Why was Jasper taking so long? I decided that something might be wrong if he was this late, so I pulled out my phone and began to dial his cell phone number.

"Hey," Jasper greeted, his voice sounding tired. "I'm so sorry. I got held up."

"You're not even done?" I questioned. He'd already been there for over an hour now.

"No, not even close. I procrastinated a bit too much on this paperwork. When I went to New York, I figured I had time to get it done when I got back, but it piled up too high."

"Do you need me to come down there and help you?" I asked. Edward suddenly glanced at me, a crease forming in his forehead. For some reason, I didn't like him looking at me while I was on the phone with Jasper, so I turned my attention to one of those annoying televisions.

"No, don't be silly," he said. "You stay out and have a good time. If I can make it out of here, I'll give you a call."

"Okay," I said in a sigh. This wasn't working out the way I had originally hoped.

"Is Edward there with you?"

I took a peek at Edward, who was staring off in another direction. "Yes," I answered.

"Pass the phone to him."

I frowned, but did as he said. Edward looked surprised when I held the phone up in front of him. He took it cautiously and held it up to his ear.

"Hello?" Edward asked hesitantly, and then his features seemed to relax a bit. "Yeah, no problem. Emmett hasn't come yet." He paused, and suddenly looked flustered. "No…no…that's…" He stopped again, shaking his head. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, but then glanced away quickly. "I really…" He sighed heavily. "Yeah, okay, hold on." He held out the phone to me, looking a mixture of annoyed and apprehensive, and I took it from him.

"Yeah?" I asked Jasper, wondering what else he had to say.

"Alright, I told Edward that he had to get some tonight, so be on the lookout for a woman for him, okay?"

My eyes went wide, and I flushed scarlet red. "Um…uhhh," I managed to sputter out.

"I'll call you later. Keep your phone on," he said, and hung up.

I put my phone back in my purse and kept my eyes trained on the table afterward, not looking up at Edward. I definitely wasn't going to find a woman for him. If he wanted to do _that_, he'd have to do it himself.

A knot formed in my stomach at the thought. It seemed to bother me, but he could do whatever he wanted…I supposed.

"So, I guess Jasper isn't coming," Edward spoke.

I cleared my throat and nodded, finally looking up at him. His expression was slightly amused, which confused me. He was smiling, making me sort of want to smile, too, but I kept that to myself. "Yeah, I'm sure you can reschedule with him." God, why did I have to sound like I was still at work? Jasper and Edward were friends. They didn't need to schedule in time to see each other.

He didn't speak for a few seconds as he looked in thought. He leaned forward and took out his phone from his back pocket. "I need to make a call. Do you mind if I just step out for a few minutes?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah, no problem," I assured.

He stood quickly and made his way around the table. My eyes followed him before he disappeared behind me. I slumped a little in my chair, wondering why I was still here. Jasper wasn't coming, so shouldn't I go? I knew that Edward said he wanted to be friends, but it was always awkward between us. We could never seem to conjure up a conversation with one another, and I was sure that we probably had zero in common. Was this just a waste of time?

Edward came back in less than two minutes and swiftly sat down. He seemed refreshed and energized, much better than I was feeling.

"Just spoke with Emmett," he admitted. "He's not coming, either."

Jasper wasn't coming, and now Emmett wasn't coming. That would just leave Edward and me…

Yeah, this wasn't going to work. I needed to go home and find something to do.

"Well, I won't keep you, then," I voiced. That was my way of saying that I wanted to go, but was too polite to outright say so.

"Wait, uh…" he blurted. "You can keep me." I raised an eyebrow at him, and his eyes grew wide as he shook his head. "I mean, not you can keep me…well, you can—I mean, uhhh." He laughed nervously and shifted in his chair. "What I meant to say is that you can stay. We can have a drink or something." He tried to shrug it off casually.

I was wary to agree, but he appeared to want to make an effort, and I couldn't deny that, no matter how much I wanted to go, so I agreed. He seemed to relax after that.

"Do you want me to get you a beer or something?" he asked.

I shook my head in disgust. "No, I don't drink beer." That stuff was gross. Why would he think I liked it?

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to assume," he said, and scratched the back of his neck. "What about a whiskey…scotch…?"

I furiously shook my head. I _definitely_ couldn't have that. I knew what that stuff did to me and I couldn't risk making a fool out of myself. "Just a glass of red wine, please. Whatever they have will be fine."

He nodded, but didn't get up. After a few seconds, he pushed the chair back. "Oh, oops," he said, as if something just clicked. "I'll be back." He stood and walked off towards the bar.

When he came back a short while later, he set the glass of wine in front of me and placed a corona bottle in front of him on the table. So, he was one of those guys that liked beer? I never knew Jasper to drink beer. He always liked wine, maybe some brandy, but nothing like beer.

I noticed Edward had a wedge of lemon and lime. He practically jammed them both down the bottleneck, and it plopped into the goldish liquid. He brought the bottle up to his lips and took a long pull, his Adam's apple bobbing as he glugged down the liquid. _My goodness…slow down_. He finally stopped and set his beer down. I took the opportunity to pick up my wine and take a very small sip.

"So, tell me about yourself," he suddenly said.

"What would you like to know?" I questioned hesitantly. I was never good at telling people about myself, mainly because I didn't like them to know much about me except for where I worked.

He shrugged. "Anything," he said, and took another pull of his beer that was already half way finished.

I straightened in my seat. "Well, I got my bachelor's degree in business administration, and I worked a couple secretarial jobs before finding my place at the auction house." There…that was good enough, right? "What about you? What do you do?" I was very curious what Edward did for a living. I couldn't place what kind of job he would have. I knew that he seemed to like paint on his clothes and having stacks of wood next to his house. Perhaps he built stuff?

He looked a bit uncomfortable and fiddled with the condensation on the beer bottle. "I don't work, actually," he admitted.

"You don't?" I queried incredulously. Well, that was just odd. Wasn't he around twenty-eight years old or something?

He shook his head. "I used to, but…" he paused, "I don't anymore."

I could tell that he wasn't enjoying what we were talking about, so I decided not to ask him what he did before. But what would I talk about now?

"You have a lovely house," I blurted. At least that wasn't a lie. I mean, his house was a bit unkempt looking on the outside, but with some work, it could look great.

He looked at me intensely. It made me a little nervous, but then he smiled warmly. "Thank you."

I nodded, and we became quiet again. I let my gaze wander nearby and noticed more people gathering around the bar and filling the tables. I hoped not to stay here too long.

"So, uh…what do you like?" he inquired. I glanced at him oddly. _What do I like? _What kind of question was that? "I mean, tell me something that you enjoy."

I really didn't know how to answer that. Was I supposed to just tell him anything? "Well…can you be more specific?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Favorite movie," he suggested.

This was easy. _A Lot Like Love _and _Only You_ were two of my all time favorites, but I doubted he would know those or have even watched them, so I said my other favorite. "Any John Cusack movie, really," I replied.

"Oh, yeah?" he questioned, looking inquisitive.

"Yeah, what about you?"

He laughed. "Um…_Die Hard_ is one of my favorites," he admitted. _Die Hard_…? Oh lord, he liked action movies. I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "You don't like it?"

"Uh," I chuckled. "No, not really."

"What about _Oceans Eleven_? Seen that?" he asked. I pursed my lips and shook my head. What was that? Should I know what that movie was? "How about Adam Sandler? Like him?"

My expression dropped flatly. I hated that guy! "No, definitely not," I answered honestly.

"Why not?" he asked with a smirk.

"His movies are disgusting and not even funny."

"Oh, come on," he said, laughing. "They're sort of funny."

"They're not," I replied dryly. I'd one time turned on the television and passed by _TBS_. There was an Adam Sandler movie on where he was peeing on a wall with a little kid. How was that funny? It wasn't.

He chuckled and shook his head, then took another pull of his beer. "That's fine. Maybe one day you'll like them," he said, which caused me to arch an eyebrow. That was highly unlikely.

We went back and forth after that, figuring out what we both liked. It turned out, I was right. We had very little in common, if that. He was definitely more masculine in his interests, and I was a bit more feminine. I wasn't ashamed to admit it. I liked what I liked. He didn't seem to mind; in fact, he continued to ask me question after question, talking more than I'd heard him do before, which was a bit unsettling, to be honest. I just wasn't expecting him to be so…chatty. Perhaps it was the beer. I'd barely touched my wine, so I wasn't as willing to talk, but I did answer all his questions as best as I could.

When it was abundantly clear that we were polar opposites, I tried to find out things that we actually did have in common. So, I started inquiring about his political views. He stated that he didn't have views, which, in my opinion, was impossible. Everyone had views. He hinted that his mother was a Democrat while his father was a Republican, so he was always undecided.

I asked him if he believed in abortion; he said he was against it, which was a Republican view and made me scowl because I was heavily pro-choice. I asked him if he believed in gay marriage, to which he casually replied that he was fine with it. I was okay with that answer. Then, I questioned what he thought of the death penalty. He was for it. That didn't make me very happy. Finally, I asked him if he thought there should be more gun control. He simply said yes. So, all in all, he was right; he was neither a Republican nor Democrat. I really hadn't ever met anyone that had views from both parties. It was strange.

"So, what about your favorite food?" he inquired.

This was another easy question. "I like princess cake," I answered.

He appeared a bit baffled. "What's that?"

I sighed. "It's a cake with a layer of marzipan coating the top with jam and cream in the middle. It usually comes in the colors of green or pink, but I like the green one. The pink one tastes too sweet for me." I'd always look forward to my birthday because my parents would buy a princess cake for me. It was probably the best present I'd get every year.

"Ah," was all he said.

"Well, then, what's your favorite food?" I questioned.

He set his almost empty second beer down and moved slightly in his chair, looking like he was getting comfortable. "Steak," he answered. I grimaced. He was turning out to be quite the opposite of me. He chuckled at my reaction. "What? Do you not like steak?"

"I don't mind it, I suppose. I just choose not to eat it," I answered.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Well, Jasper is a vegetarian, so I'm used to avoiding it most of the time," I answered with a shrug.

He looked away and bit on his bottom lip for a moment, appearing as if in thought, before he gazed back at me, questioning in his light eyes. "So…you and Jasper…?" he asked, his voice tapering off at the end.

"Me and Jasper, what?" I questioned in return.

His eyes fell down to his beer bottle, and he began fiddling with the condensation like he had done earlier. "You and Jasper are really close, huh?"

"Yeah," I answered truthfully. Well, we were. I knew almost everything about Jasper.

Edward seemed to be struggling with what to say. He pressed his lips together, frowned, and then opened his mouth to speak. "How close would you say you two are?"

I stared at him, baffled. Why was he asking this? I assumed he would've known about my history with Jasper, since they were friends. "Wouldn't Jasper have told you already?" I inquired, growing a bit annoyed. "I mean, you guys hang out, right?"

He cleared his throat. "Well…he did say you two dated a while back…"

I knew it. God…of course Jasper would've told Edward everything. This just infuriated me so much. "Then, why did you ask?" I snapped defensively.

"I…I was just curious…that's all…"

I flared my nostrils, the heat rising to my cheeks. "So, did Jasper tell you anything else about our relationship? How he led me on for a year and a half and then_ ripped_ my heart out? How he continues to make me feel like he wants me when he really doesn't at all?" I didn't know where these words were coming from, but it seemed long overdue, as if it had been bottled up inside of me and now I was releasing it all.

He shook his head feverishly. "No, no, he—"

"Let me guess," I started, cutting him off, my breathing becoming erratic as I grew angrier, "he told you that he said I wasn't the one, right?"

He narrowed his eyes, no doubt because of how I was treating him, but I couldn't stop. "No, Bella, he—"

I threw my hands up. "Forget it. I can't even believe this. I need to go home." I gathered my purse from the empty chair next to me. Why had I come here if I was only going to end up more upset than I usually was?

I pushed my chair back and began to stand, when I saw Edward reach over the table towards me. In that moment, his hand crashed into my half full wine glass. It tipped over and all the blood red liquid spilled out onto my top, as well as the crotch of my jeans. I gasped in horror and stood abruptly, as if that would help avoid the spill, but it was too late by then.

"SHIT!" he cursed loudly, and shot off his chair, which caused it to tumble back onto the floor. Edward stumbled back, crashing into a blonde waitress holding a tray of soup. She lost her grip on the tray and it went flying onto our table.

Green soup splattered onto my top, joining the wine, and if that wasn't enough, it was _hot_.

The air _whooshed_ out of my lungs as the soup scorched me through my top, and I grabbed the napkin on the table to wipe it off me quickly.

After a few seconds of tending to my top, I realized it was ruined and that the wine and soup had soaked through. I looked up and grew inflamed at what I saw. Edward had his arms around the blonde waitress' waist and was smiling blissfully at her. The waitress was smiling back at him equally.

I glanced around and noticed almost everyone in the vicinity was staring at me, either with shock or with amusement. A crowd of guys over at the bar were laughing their faces off, pointing at me, while Edward just stood there and flirted with some blonde bimbo waitress, not even remotely aware that I was still here.

I was mortified and embarrassed beyond belief. This was just the worst night I'd had in a long time. I could not and would not stay here and be humiliated.

While Edward continued to put the moves on the waitress, I reached into my purse and grabbed a twenty. I threw it on the table angrily, not caring that it probably landed in the splattered soup, and then spun around with a force like a tornado.

I moved quickly, needing to just get out of here as people around me continued to laugh at my misery. All I wanted was to go home, and that was exactly where I was going to go.

Without looking back even once, I hurried out of the bar.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Well, I never claimed that everything would run smoothly between them. **

**There's a Polyvore on the profile to accompany this chapter. **

**Stop by the forum and discuss. I usually post a teaser there.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	7. He Kissed Me

**A/N: **

**Thanks to those that are sticking with me, as well as the forum ladies who are keeping me on my toes. **

**A reviewer asked whether I want you guys to relate to Bella, because many of you obviously don't like her. The way I look at it is that you can choose to view her any way you want because we all have our own experiences to go based on. Some readers totally get her, and some just don't. Each is fine. To me, it's not about how her character starts; it's about the growth. **

**Beta is Lindz26. She really liked this chapter, so I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER SEVEN  
*HE KISSED ME***

After my embarrassing moment three nights ago, I was finally getting over it. I didn't once try to seek Edward out after I left, and he didn't bother to contact me, which seemed to help a bit. The fact was that I was so angry with him.

How he'd managed to turn the evening into such a mess was beyond me. We had been okay at first. I was starting to think we could actually be friends, even with next to nothing in common, but then he had to go and ask questions about Jasper and me, followed by, of course, the spilling of the wine, which caused an entire embarrassing fiasco afterward.

If I ever saw him again, I knew I was going to either ignore him or be very short with him. Frankly, I'd be content with never seeing him again. I was sure he was just fine, anyway, with his blonde bimbo. It looked like I didn't need to find him a woman, after all. All he had to do was humiliate me and then—_presto_—a woman appears out of nowhere.

I was still extremely agitated, barely talking to Rose or Jasper. They knew something was up, and Jasper asked me a few times, but I'd change the subject to something work related. He knew me too well not to let it slide, so every chance he got, he'd try to lift my mood.

"Alright, we're going out tonight—just you and me," Jasper said as he came into my office. I was hunched over my desk, looking over a list of antiques we'd just got in today.

I couldn't believe I was going to say this, but I just wished he would stop trying to make me feel better. "Thanks, Jasper, but I think I'm just going to go home tonight."

"No," he said, and pulled me to stand from my desk. I sighed, allowing him to lift me. He brought me to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. I burrowed my face into his chest, shutting my sight off from the world. "You've been stomping and moping around here all morning. I know something's up." He rubbed his nose into my hair. "Bellsy, tell me what's wrong." His tone was soft, caressing me with his words.

My heart fluttered, and I fisted his suit jacket. "It's okay. I'll be fine."

He pulled back and bent down a bit to look at me. "Come on, we tell each other everything," he said. "You know how much I care about you. I hate seeing you so upset about something. If you tell me, maybe I can fix it for you."

I laughed bitterly. "You can't, but thanks for the offer."

The ringing of my work line suddenly cut through our talking, and Jasper answered it swiftly.

"Isabella Swan's extension," he greeted into the phone. He let go of me and furrowed his brow. "She does?" I eyed him curiously. "He is?"

"What is it?" I whispered, but he held up his index finger for me to wait.

"Okay, well, then…I guess you can send him up," he said in confusion, and hung up.

"What's wrong?" I questioned.

He looked at me oddly. "Angela said Edward's here to see you." I stopped breathing and my face became tinged with red. Why on earth was _he_ here? "Did something happen on Friday?" His voice was full of concern and protectiveness.

I shook my head, not wanting to worry him. "No, nothing happened. I'm sure he's just here to inquire about the next auction," I answered, hoping he'd buy that. I was positive Edward wasn't here for that purpose.

I moved past Jasper quickly and walked out into the main office, looking briefly for a sign of Edward, but he wasn't here yet.

As hastily as I could, I made my way over to the break room. Just as I was about to walk in, Edward stepped out of the elevator, looking a bit disheveled with a heavy five o'clock shadow and untamed hair. His light eyes instantly found mine, and I panicked. I dashed straight into the break room and over to the coffee pot on the counter.

I couldn't believe he was here. Did he come just to rub the other night in my face? Maybe he wanted to throw more wine on me and then pick up another batch of blonde waitresses afterward. As it was, once was enough, so I hoped he would leave and return to wherever place someone like him came from—maybe his mess of a house.

"Bella," a deep voice called behind me.

I had been holding the coffee pot in my hand, and I swiftly put it down in fright. I spun around and was met with Edward standing in the doorway. He looked tired, most likely from all the sex he had with the blonde waitress. God! Why did this bug me so much? I quickly faced away from him, now angry at myself.

"How can I help you?" I inquired, overly impersonal.

"Don't do that," Edward said, coming up right behind me.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean," I replied, and picked up the pot of coffee again. I busied myself by pouring the hot liquid into a mug, even though I knew I wasn't going to drink it.

"I know, Bella…I know I messed up. If I could just—"

"It's fine," I said curtly, cutting him off.

"No, it's not," he countered. I could feel the heat of his body right behind me, but I didn't dare turn around as I began to stir cream into my coffee. "Just let me apologize."

"There's nothing to apologize for. It's not necessary."

"Yes, it is. It's just…when I'm around you—_shit_…I don't even know—"

"I told you, Mr. Masen, this isn't necessary," I snapped, wanting him to just go away. I felt my chest begin to tighten and my stomach swirl with infuriation and disappointment, because for some reason, I was upset over all of this. And it wasn't just being angry; it was a level of sadness, as well, that flooded my emotions, and I couldn't understand why.

"Why are you calling me that?" he asked, almost desperately.

I slammed the spoon down I had been stirring in my coffee mug. It clattered against the counter loudly. "Because, Mr. Masen, that is your name and that's what I will call you from this point on."

He was quiet for a moment. I could hear his soft breathing as he inhaled slowly. "I thought we could be friends." He sounded so defeated. Perhaps he realized that he'd been wrong to assume that we could ever form a friendship.

"Well, I guess now you know that we can't be."

"Is that what you want?" he asked quietly.

I stared at the wall behind the counter. I was fighting like hell not to turn around. My body wanted to so badly. He was right behind me, and all I had to do was turn my body to him, but why did I want to? I needed to stay where I was. I needed to continue to be impolite with him so that he got the message—we could _not_ be friends.

"Yes, that's what I want," I answered.

He didn't respond immediately, but I knew he was still there. I could feel his heat, his energy behind me. It sent a shiver down my spine, knowing he was near. I almost couldn't breathe, feeling like I was being suffocated by his mere presence. Something was wrong. This wasn't normal behavior for me to feel so…altered by someone.

"Very well," he whispered.

I suddenly felt cold…barren. I turned around slowly and my sight landed on an empty room.

I was alone.

X-X-X-X

The next few weeks that passed were particularly busy at the auction house. Because we weren't holding a December auction, we had more time to acquire interesting pieces for the January one. The employees worked hard before the Christmas vacation to find clients that would be willing to sell their antiques.

Jasper and I had spent almost every moment together, since he was at work more now before the holidays. We spent late nights at the office and even spent our weekends together going over invitations, lists of authenticated antiques, and paperwork.

Our friendship was starting to come back easily for me. It'd felt a bit strained for a few weeks, but we were beginning to do well again. He began to call me his nickname for me much more often, and by now, I was almost expecting it. I didn't know why he'd suddenly decided to call me Bellsy again, but I wasn't complaining. He'd called me that all the time during our relationship, and it felt more natural.

Rose and I were seeing less and less of each other now that she was dating Emmett full time. She still, of course, called me nightly to check up on me as well as gush about how great Emmett was in the sack. I wondered if they were having just a physical relationship or an emotional one, too. Could you really have an emotional relationship with someone you had sex with only a few hours after meeting them? In my experience, that wasn't the case at all. But if she could, then more power to her, and I only wished her happiness.

I hadn't heard from Edward once since that day in the break room. He hadn't even stopped by the auction house. Jasper never mentioned him, either, which I found odd because he'd been a topic of discussion for a while at first, but perhaps the nostalgia of seeing an old friend had died.

Though I didn't hear about Edward through Jasper, I still had to hear about him through Rose, who claimed he'd gone MIA, according to Emmett. I didn't care. At least, that was what I told myself so that I wouldn't ask further questions.

The truth was I was curious about what he was doing, and it was so frustrating. I'd told him I didn't want to be friends, and I knew it had to be that way because we were just too different and always messing up with each other, but he'd become a huge part of my thoughts after I last saw him. It wasn't intentional. He would just slip in, and I'd quickly have to think about something else. I didn't know why he was continuing to invade my thoughts, but I didn't like it, which was why I was grateful I could be so busy at work to occupy my brain.

Christmas came and went much quicker than I'd hoped. I spent it with my parents back home. They'd gotten a very small Christmas tree, which my mom forced me to decorate with popcorn. It was hideous. We hadn't bothered too much with presents this year. We kept it simple, and our gifts came from the heart at inexpensive prices.

Jasper had called me Christmas Eve as well as Christmas morning. He was in New York with his parents and wouldn't be back home until the twenty-seventh—two days after Christmas. I missed him, but was delighted when he said he'd opened my gift for him and loved it. I'd gotten him a DVD collection of a documentary that had aired on the _History Channel_ about the Civil War. I also sent him a picture to his email of me in my snuggie that my mom had bought me, which he said looked adorable. The snuggie was surprisingly useful and I'd used it a few times since.

Jasper's gift for me was year round tickets to any Broadway show in New York. It was such a great gift. He said that the only deal was that he had to come along with me, and that was no problem at all because I couldn't imagine seeing any show without him by my side.

On New Year's Eve, we went back to the office, preparing for the New Year's party we were going to hold later that night. Rose was in charge of decorations, and I was in charge of food. No one was in charge of drinks, because apparently, everyone would bring in whatever they had, since we were bound to run out of alcohol.

I wanted to revoke Rose's instatement as decorator because she made the place look like tinsel town. Everything was covered in blue and silver tinsel. She said it looked flashy and that we'd be bringing in the New Year with pizzazz. If _pizzazz_ was another word for _cheap_, then sure.

"I don't make fun of the food you brought in, so you don't make fun of my decorations," Rose said haughtily.

"What's wrong with the food I brought?" I asked defensively.

She threw silver tinsel over someone's computer. "Celery sticks and peanut butter. Really, Bella?" Rose questioned.

"And?" I inquired.

"With tiny little raisins on top," she added.

"People love Ants on a Log," I stated, my tone raising. "Plus, Jasper eats them."

She wrapped some blue tinsel around my neck. "Ah, yes…and we should always eat what _Jasper_ likes," Rose remarked sarcastically.

"He's our boss," I reasoned.

"He's your ex-boyfriend and current obsession," she countered, throwing more tinsel at me.

"Would you stop with the tinsel, for goodness sake?" I barked.

"If you don't like the tinsel, get out of the tinsel zone. I'm in charge of decorations, here."

I groaned and unraveled the tinsel from around my neck, then placed it on top of some poor unfortunate soul's desk.

"So, who are you kissing tonight?" Rose asked slyly.

"No one," I answered truthfully.

Jasper had hinted at it a few times that we'd kiss at midnight, but he never made it obvious, so I didn't ask. It seemed like he was going back and forth on whether to ask me or not. I was a bit hesitant myself. If we did kiss, what would that mean? We were supposed to be friends, and friends didn't kiss. Would it be chaste? Would it be deep and meaningful? I didn't know, and either way, it seemed like it would just open up a plethora of emotions that I didn't know I could control.

Over the last few weeks, I'd been noticing myself suppressing my desires for Jasper better. I was actually proud of my progress. I'd gone from, at one point, thinking I couldn't live without him romantically, to being okay that we were, at least, together as friends. This didn't mean I stopped having feelings for him—I didn't think that'd ever change—but it did mean that I was improving. Maybe I could finally spend one night in bed without thinking about him and crying myself to sleep. Now, _that_ would be a huge improvement.

"Yeah, my ass," Rose muttered.

"Excuse me?" I questioned, wondering if I heard her correctly.

"We already know who you'll end up kissing."

"Who?" I asked, because I really didn't know.

"Hello, ladies," a smooth, rich voice said behind us. We both turned to see Jasper smirking at us.

"Speak of the devil," Rose whispered to me discreetly. I glared at her, and then smiled at Jasper. Rose continued decorating. "How does it look, Jasper?"

He laughed. "It looks very…nice," he commented, and I rolled my eyes at him. He pressed his lips together, suppressing a laugh.

"See, Bella, _Jasper _likes my decorations," Rose said cockily.

"That's 'cause he was lying," I spoke bluntly.

"Bella," Jasper scolded through chuckles.

"What?" I questioned.

Rose groaned and muttered something under her breath before walking away to wreak havoc on another part of the office.

"What did I say?" I asked him seriously.

He shook his head in amusement and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Never mind that. Come…let's go to my office. I'd like to talk to you about something."

His arm remained around my waist as he led me into his large office. When we were inside, he removed his arm and, instead, grabbed my hand gently. He shut the door behind us and pulled me around his desk. He sat down in his swivel chair, and then brought me to sit on his lap. This was odd, but I didn't deny that I liked it. It reminded me of what he used to do when we were dating. Back then, I would snake my arms around his neck, but now, I kept them in my lap.

"Are you excited for tonight?" he asked, and tucked my hair behind my ear.

I shrugged. "Sure, it should be fun."

"That's good. I'm excited, too," he said, and then darted his eyes away.

"Everything okay?" I asked, already knowing that something was on his mind.

He knitted his eyebrows together, appearing in thought. "I was thinking…maybe we could kiss at midnight," he offered. "I mean, if you're not kissing anyone…and I'm not kissing anyone, then we could kiss each other, right?" His expression turned a bit panicked. "I mean, that is if you're not kissing anyone. You're not kissing anyone, are you?"

It was amazing how many times he'd managed to fit the word "kiss" into his speech. "No, I'm not kissing anyone," I answered honestly.

He exhaled and the corners of his mouth turned up into a smirk. "So, then, are we on for kissing tonight?"

I smiled. "Yeah, of course."

He rubbed small circles on my back. "Good, because I can't think of anyone I'd rather bring in the New Year with than you, Bellsy."

"Same here," I said, but the words seemed a bit hollow.

"Alright, well, I'm going to head home for a bit and then come back later. Want me to pick you up?"

I told him yes, and we agreed that he'd pick me up at around eight.

Afterward, I went to Rose again, who was still busying herself with the decorations. I told her that Jasper wanted to kiss me at midnight, and she just about freaked out. Apparently, the fact that he wanted to kiss me at midnight meant that he wanted to get back together. I really didn't think this was the case, but Rose seemed to be certain.

Getting back together with him was something I'd desired for so long, but there was something I'd realized recently that I hadn't before.

I was sort of angry at him.

It was overdue…way overdue…but it was there. I first realized it on that disaster of an evening with Edward at the bar and grill. I'd blabbed all this suppressed anger out to him that I hadn't been aware of before. It was new and powerful. I didn't let Jasper know this at all. I kept it inside to mull over. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that he'd broken up with me and then acted like nothing happened between us afterward, but it still didn't stop the fact that I still very much had feelings for him. So, I'd go back and forth from being upset with him to being happy with him. I couldn't seem to make up my mind. Today was a _be happy with him_ day, it seemed.

When I got home, Rose told me I had to look amazing for tonight, and my closet didn't really have amazing things, so she loaned me one of her dresses. It seemed I was borrowing her clothes a lot lately. It was a good thing we were the same size, roughly. She gave me a silver sequined mini dress to wear with some simple silver peep-toe pumps. The dress was very sparkly, and I even commented that I looked like a disco ball, but she said I looked gorgeous, so I didn't complain anymore.

Later on, I stood in my apartment, waiting for Jasper anxiously, wondering what the night would bring. I was nervous about the kiss. I didn't know how to go about it. But after ten minutes of pacing, I decided that it would be Jasper's move on how he wanted to kiss.

He arrived at my door on time, looking very sharp in a dark gray suit and burgundy tie that I'd gotten for him a while back. He told me I looked stunning "as usual" and I flushed with color.

He hadn't been to my apartment in a while, so he asked to see Max. He spent a few minutes feeding him while I grabbed my purse and checked myself once in the mirror. I fixed his tie a bit before we got into his BMW and drove over to the auction house.

Everyone greeted us cheerfully, clearly having drunk copious amounts of alcohol already. Jasper got me some champagne, and I took a couple sips. If I drank too much, I'd be tired, and it wasn't even close to midnight yet.

I noticed Rose was absent and I began to ask co-workers if they'd seen her. No one had talked to or seen her around, so I stuck close to Jasper as he made the rounds, talking to all his employees. He kept his arm wrapped around my waist the entire time, only letting go when he had to. A lot of people asked me if we were back together, and it was hard for me to tell them no, but I did. It pretty much ruined my mood after that.

When an hour passed and Rose still hadn't showed, I snuck into my office and pulled out my cell. The phone rang three times before she finally picked up.

"Where are you?" I asked quietly, even though no one outside could hear me from my office.

"We took a bit of a detour," she said, sounding annoyed.

I could hear a loud static from her end, and I wondered where she was. "What does that mean?"

"We went up to Pine Lake," she admitted.

My eyes went wide and my stomach began to clench. "Why…why did you go up there?" I stuttered in question.

"Emmett decided to invite Edward at the last minute. He was supposed to be out of town, but came back yesterday."

I noted that he seemed to go out of town a lot, but pushed it to the back of my brain. The most prevalent thought in my mind was that _Edward_ was coming to the auction house—to the New Year's party. I hadn't seen him for weeks now. What was I going to do? What was I going to say? I'd been impolite to him the last time I saw him, saying we couldn't be friends. Now…I had to face him. I could already tell that this was going to be uncomfortable.

"We're almost there," she added. "Just pulling into the parking lot right now. See you in ten."

I walked out of my office in a zombie state. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't feeling angry or upset that Edward was about to be here; I was feeling…nervous. _Really_ nervous. There was a fluttering in my stomach and my head was feeling a bit light. I thought maybe I'd had too much champagne, but then I realized that I'd only taken a few sips here and there.

I spotted Jasper near the big flat screen television set up, talking with Angela and her boyfriend, Ben. I went over to him and he wrapped his arm around my waist again absentmindedly, pulling me closer into his side. Every now and then, I'd glance over my shoulder at the elevator, keeping an eye out for Rose, even though I was really checking to see if Edward was coming. I couldn't stop looking. It got to the point where it would look saner if I were to just stand at the elevator and stare at it rather than looking back and forth every minute or so.

Finally, Rose stepped out of the elevator with Emmett along side of her. I detached myself from Jasper and began to make my way over to her.

"Hey, where are you going?" Jasper asked me.

"Oh, Rose is here. I'm just going to go say hi to her and Emmett."

"Emmett?" he questioned. "Does that mean Edward's here?"

Before I could answer, Rose caught my eye and quickly walked over to us, dragging Emmett along. "Bella," she greeted happily, and kissed my cheek.

"The infamous Bella Swan," Emmett greeted me with a smirk.

"Stop calling her that," Rose scolded.

Emmett put out a hand for Jasper to shake. "Hey, Jasper," Emmett said.

"Hey," Jasper replied with a sturdy handshake.

"How's the beamer hybrid?" Emmett questioned.

"Still going," Jasper answered with a chuckle.

I furrowed my brow. They were acting as if they knew each other. "Have you two met?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah," Jasper confirmed. "He came out to lunch with Edward and me a few weeks back."

"Oh," I said quietly, and snuck a glance around the office. Where was he? Didn't he come with Rose and Emmett?

"Is Edward here, too?" Jasper asked, almost reading my thoughts.

Rose looked over her shoulder toward the elevator, then back at us with a shrug. "Yeah. He said he needed to make a phone call and that he'd only be a minute."

Emmett snorted and glanced at me, but didn't reply. Rose rolled her eyes. One of our co-workers suddenly came up to Jasper and asked to speak with him, so he told us he'd see us in a bit. It was then that Rose seemed to relax.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

"Nothing," she said, looking annoyed.

"I'm not allowed to talk," Emmett whispered to me.

"Emmett," Rose scolded.

"What? He left. What's the big goddamn deal? Jasper's cool. He doesn't fucking care," Emmett said.

"And _that's_ why he's not allowed to talk," Rose explained to me. "He can't say a single sentence without using some sort of profanity."

"You're not fucking better than me, Rose, and you know it," Emmett countered.

"Not at work, though," she said haughtily.

Emmett groaned and looked behind him. "Where is that douche? Don't tell me he got cold feet," he muttered, and then suddenly turned around. "Well, it's about fucking time."

I looked around Emmett and saw Edward walking towards us. My heart rate began to accelerate and I quickly moved back to where I had been standing, so that he couldn't see me behind Emmett's large physique.

Why was I hiding from him? Was this what I had amounted to?

"You're not gonna talk on that bullshit phone for one more minute tonight, got it?" Emmett scolded.

"It was important," I heard Edward say.

Emmett abruptly took a large step to the side, revealing me to Edward. He froze as he approached, and our eyes connected. We merely stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. I probably looked surprised, wary, or even fearful, but he only had a blank expression etched on his face. I couldn't discern if he was angry with me or not. He probably was and just didn't want to show it. It was understandable. I'd treated him awfully.

"Edward, look who we have here. It's Bella," Emmett announced with a lightness to his tone.

Edward's eyes flashed venomously to Emmett, then back at me. I supposed that he couldn't contain his anger towards me for very long. My stomach began to churn, and I wondered if this was a good idea being here. It would probably be best if I left, just so there wasn't any tension in the air.

"Bella," Edward said curtly, and then walked off unexpectedly.

"What the hell was that about?" Rose questioned.

"I'm gonna go talk to him," Emmett announced, and kissed Rose on the cheek. "Don't start the countdown without me, babe." He followed after Edward, leaving us alone.

Rose suddenly pulled on my arm, dragging me toward my office. She practically pushed me in and then shut the door behind us.

"Something's going on," she noted.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, feeling flustered.

"I mean, the whole way over, Emmett and Edward were talking in code. Well, actually, Emmett was talking in code and Edward was giving one word responses every now and then."

"That doesn't necessarily mean something's going on," I reasoned, though, instinctively, I knew something was going on, too.

"No, something definitely is. And it was only confirmed when Edward saw you just a few minutes ago." She stopped, analyzing me. "What's going on with you two?"

My eyes went wide. "What? Nothing's going on," I said quickly.

"Come on, Bella. You know you can tell me."

"I'm telling you the truth. _Nothing is going on_." It was accurate. I told him we couldn't be friends, which would entail that nothing was going on between us.

"Hmm," she hummed in thought. "You both looked sorta tense before."

I shrugged. "I'm okay," I lied.

"Alright," she said, effectively dropping the subject with a smile. "You look great, by the way."

We went back out to the party and reconnected with Jasper. I tried to loosen up a bit by having another glass of champagne, but it wasn't working. Emmett and Edward hadn't returned, and I wondered what happened to them. When Rose called Emmett to ask where he was, they both came back to the party looking disgruntled and not acknowledging the other as they walked over to us.

"Come on, Rose," Emmett demanded a bit forcefully, and grabbed her around the waist to lead her away.

"Where are we going?" she asked as they disappeared down the other end of the office.

"Hey, Edward. Good to see you," Jasper greeted.

Edward smiled weakly, looking only at Jasper. "Yeah, same. Sorry I haven't called."

"It's fine. I figured you were just busy. And I've been busy myself, actually. Did you have a good Christmas?"

Edward nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I did."

"Who'd you spend it with?" Jasper asked. Edward's eyes fell to the floor and his arms seemed to wrap tighter in front of him. "Wait…did you spend it with a girl?" Edward didn't respond. He merely brought a hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed it. "You did, didn't you?" Jasper laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist. I noticed Edward's eyes briefly flickered down at where Jasper's hand was residing on my hip. I suddenly felt claustrophobic. "Nice. And here I thought I was going to have to find you one at a bar."

I felt substantially uncomfortable with this conversation. I didn't want to listen to it. My face flushed red and I glanced away. "Excuse me," I said quietly, and unraveled myself from Jasper's hold. Neither of them seemed to notice as I made my way into my office and shut the door, blocking out the sounds of talking and laughing.

I sat down at my swivel chair and glanced at the time on the computer. It was close to midnight now. Wasn't bringing in the New Year supposed to be happy and fun? This time last year I was with Jasper in New York and we had a blast, just being with each other, kissing deeply at midnight. This year was so different. I didn't feel happy at all. Was this how I was going to be in 2011? Unhappy and miserable? If so, I didn't think I wanted to go into the next year. But if there was some chance of happiness…

A knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts, and it swung open to reveal Jasper. He smiled warmly at me.

"Hey, I need to make a phone call real quick in my office. The countdown is going to start soon. I promise I'll be out by the time it starts," he assured.

I nodded and stood, making my way out into the main office with the crowd of people I worked with and their loved ones they brought with them. I looked at all of them. They appeared happy with their wives, boyfriends, and dates. Even Rose had someone. I stood by myself.

It was one minute until midnight and I noticed Jasper was still in his office. He had the blinds shut, but I could see the light peeking through and his shadow moving around. I sighed and glanced at the television that was showing a delayed recording of the New York ball dropping, since they'd already gone into the New Year.

Soon, the countdown started, beginning at ten. My eyes flashed to Jasper's office, and I saw that he was _still_ in there. I stood in my place, not moving an inch. Everyone around was chanting numbers, getting closer and closer to the inevitable New Year. I sighed and my eyes dropped to the floor.

This was how it was going to be in 2011.

Me…alone.

_Three…_

_Two…_

_One._

Everyone around me cheered with wishes of a Happy New Year. People embraced each other, kissed. I shut my eyes, not wanting to witness their jubilation. Loud music blared in my ears, and it was only heightened with my eyes shut. I breathed in and out slowly, coming to terms with my lonesome future.

I was just about to open my eyes, when, abruptly, I felt as if I was falling, like the ground was tumbling out from underneath me. I squeezed my eyes tighter, waiting for an impact, but there was none. The air _wooshed_ all around me, and suddenly…I stopped.

I was floating.

Long arms wrapped around my back, both feeling unfamiliar, yet familiar at the same time. They encircled me tightly, and I was pressed up against something firm. My pulse pounded in my ear, my blood coursed, and my breathing halted when my lips were suddenly covered by something soft and moist, something warm and inviting. I gasped, and parted my lips.

The desire to keep this sensation alive was strong. I was desperate for it. I wrapped my lips around what felt like another pair of lips, and threw myself deeply into this kiss…this feeling of completion, of being one. It made me lightheaded and dizzy, but I didn't care. I clung onto whatever was giving me this amazing pleasure that sent a shiver from my mouth, down to my toes. Everything around me was muffled and didn't reach my ears. All I could hear was my uneven breathing and my heart rapidly racing.

Suddenly, there was no more warmth, no more sensation, no more floating. The ground came back under me and my mouth tingled, feeling abandoned and cold now. My breathing returned to normal and my heart rate slowed. Feeling confused, I fluttered my eyes open. My vision automatically adjusted to seeing my co-workers continue to hug each other as champagne was passed around. There was no one looking at me or acknowledging my presence. I was alone.

I brought my fingers up to my lips and touched them gently at the memory of warmth and wetness on it only a mere moment ago. I turned my head and my eyes glanced around the room, looking for what had made me feel like that, so wonderful, so amazing, so…_alive_.

With my fingers still on my lips, I searched and searched, until I found a pair of intense green eyes staring into mine. I blinked a few times, my vision focusing, and saw Edward walking away towards the elevator. He was looking over his shoulder at me as he sifted around the people. He turned away, and my sight was suddenly blocked as someone stepped in front of me. That feeling of being cold and barren set upon me again. I felt even more alone now.

"God, Bella, I'm so sorry. That took longer than I expected," a familiar voice said behind me. Coming out of my daze, I turned around and saw Jasper with a wide grin on his face as he stared down at me. His expression became serious suddenly, and he brought a hand up to caress my cheek with the back of his hand. "Happy New Year, Bellsy…"

He weaved his fingers into my thick hair and leaned towards me. His lips—lips that I'd craved at one time—were only centimeters away from mine. Closer and closer they grew.

At any other moment, at any other time, I would've welcomed them, I would've leaned forward and possessed them, but now…it didn't feel right. It felt…wrong.

Just as his mouth came within a fraction of my own, I turned my head to the side. His cold lips landed on my cheek firmly, igniting goose bumps up my arms. He pulled back slowly, and I turned my head back to him. He looked at me inquisitively, bemused, and…heartbroken.

In that instant, I hated myself. I hated that I made him look like that. I hated myself for feeling so different.

Someone came up behind him and greeted him, wishing him a Happy New Year. He gazed into my eyes for a few more seconds, as if searching for something, until he pulled away and turned around, greeting the person in turn.

I took the opportunity to slip away. I walked across the main office, through the crowd of people, and to the elevator, not looking back once, just keeping my eyes forward. When I came out of the building, I caught a cab, telling the driver to take me home.

As soon as I got back to my apartment, I stripped out of my dress and heels, and crawled into bed in just my bra and underwear. I stared up at the ceiling for an immeasurable amount of time, unthinking, but several emotions running through me that I couldn't quite decipher.

With 2010 behind me and 2011 in the making, I slowly began to drift away into a sea of darkness. That night was the first time I didn't cry or mourn for what was lost. That night, I only had one thing on my mind—warm lips on my own at the stroke of midnight and opening my eyes to reveal a pair of deep green ones staring passionately into mine.

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**A/N: **

**Things are changing, no? Hope you enjoyed it!  
**

**Polyvore on the profile. Go see Bella's sparkly dress. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx  
**


	8. He Showed Me

**A/N:**

**Thanks for the great response last chapter. For those that were unsure, yes, Edward did kiss Bella—hence the prior chapter title. So, what will happen now? **

**Beta is Lindz26.

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**

**CHAPTER EIGHT  
*HE SHOWED ME***

It'd been two full days since the turn of the year, and was now January third. I was back at work and busy preparing for the coming auction in a couple of weeks. We were going to have some amazing pieces available to bid on, so I had to make sure I sent out invitations to some great potential buyers.

Rose and I stepped out of the elevator and shrugged off our winter coats immediately as we walked over to her office. We'd just gotten back from lunch. She'd had plans to meet Emmett at a café, but I sort of asked to tag along. It was pushy, I knew, and thank God Rose didn't mind, but I just couldn't go with Jasper.

I'd been avoiding him a bit these past couple of days since the New Year's party. If it was any consolation, he hadn't spoken to me much, except when there was a work matter. I could tell he was upset with my behavior, but he knew me well enough to know that I needed to be left alone.

The fact was that I was extremely…confused. Maybe that wasn't the right term, because this was a much stronger emotion of bewilderment interlaced with a feeling of anxiousness. New Year's Eve had brought out a range of emotions in me I never thought I'd be capable of. I'd been everything from nervous, apprehensive, saddened, to then feeling an intense passion—all because of a man that I barely knew. A man, I barely knew, that had _kissed_ me.

I'd thought of nothing but him since then. Why had he done that? What did it mean? Someone didn't just kiss someone else for no reason, right? Then again, it was New Year's, and I didn't exactly have a kissing partner at that moment. Maybe he was just doing me a favor so I didn't have to be alone. I might've just read too much into it, but…it seemed so much more, the way his lips molded to mine firmly, how he'd dipped me and held onto me for dear life, how he'd managed to wipe my thoughts clean the rest of the night after that. Whatever it was, it left me reeling. The thing was, I hadn't seen him since that night, and I wasn't sure if he'd stop around here. Did I really want to see him again? Did _he_ want to see me again?

"Alright," Rose started, taking me out of my thoughts as we sat down at her desk, "what's up with you?"

I stared across the desk at her, unsure of how to respond. "What do you mean?" I questioned.

She rolled her eyes. "You were quiet all during lunch, not to mention for the past couple days. So, tell me, what's going on?"

I hadn't told Rose about my kiss with Edward. I wasn't exactly sure why, since I didn't keep secrets from her, but I just felt the need to keep it to myself. "Nothing's going on," I replied with a shrug, trying to be nonchalant. She gave me a suspicious look before picking up a piece of paper and handing it to me. "What's this?"

"My list of things I want to accomplish this year," she said with a smile.

My eyes scanned over the words written. "You want to go on a diet?" I asked incredulously. Did she not see how skinny she was already?

"Well, not a diet, per se, more like eating healthier."

I quirked an eyebrow, a sheepish grin twisting at my lips. "Is that why you ate an entire slice of turtle cheesecake at lunch today?"

She shot me a glare and snatched the list out of my hands. "Starting_ tomorrow_," she snapped. I shook my head and chuckled, because that was exactly what people said that were trying to start a diet. "Ah, there you are, Bella. Nice to have you back." She was smiling at me.

"I've been here the entire time," I said matter-of-factly.

"No, there's been some zombie Bella here," she replied, causing me to sigh. "You're going to tell me what's going on soon, right?"

I knew I would. I just needed to sort through it all first, and to be honest, I had no clue where to begin. "Of course, Rose. You know I always do."

She nodded. "I know. I promise not to bring it up again until you're ready."

She was such a good friend.

After we spoke for a few more minutes in her office, I decided to head over to mine. I took a quick glance over at Jasper's office and saw he was on the phone, looking heavily involved, so I made the trek across to my own office.

On my way over, my thoughts were swirling again with visions of Edward kissing me and what it would have been like if I'd had my eyes open and was aware that he was kissing me. Would I have turned him away immediately? Somehow, I didn't think I would've.

That begged another question. Why were things so different now? I'd told him we couldn't be friends, and suddenly, I was thinking about him kissing me? How on earth this one-eighty occurred, I had no clue. It was so unlike me to change course like this. Once I made up my mind, that was it, but now, I didn't know what to think. Plus, the fact that I hadn't an inkling what Edward was thinking was making me even more uneasy. Why couldn't he just come here? If he did, maybe I would be able to realize how crazily I was acting. He was the auction house's client. He couldn't go around kissing me.

Then why did I have that kiss on a continuous loop in my head?

God…I needed to talk to him. I needed to know why he'd done that. Most likely, it would just be me overreacting, but either way, I couldn't continue on like this. If he wasn't going to come here, I'd have to go to him. I groaned internally at the thought. Was I really prepared to make the journey to his house just for this?

Reaching my office, I continued to mull this over as I opened the door and stepped inside. I shut it behind me and was just about to walk around my desk to sit in my chair, when it suddenly spun around. I let out a gasp, taken aback, and allowed my eyes rake over the person that was seated in my swivel chair. However, I had to blink a few times, because I was sure I was hallucinating.

There was a familiar woman sitting there, her hair short, choppy, and dark, coming up to the middle of her neck. She wore a very obnoxious black and white striped bandage dress with shredded black leggings. Her feet were propped up on my desk, clad in worn out combat boots. When I realized this was _not_ a hallucination, my face turned red with rage and my fists clenched at my sides.

"Hello, Bella," Alice greeted with an impish grin.

My eyes bore into her with years of pent up anger. How dare she come here after all this time? "What are you doing here?" I growled in question.

Her smile didn't falter as her eyes raked over my body and then looked down at herself. "Hey, we're wearing the same colors!" she said excitedly, referring to the fact that we seemed to both be wearing black and white. "Just goes to show how in tune we still are with each other." She winked at me.

I crossed my arms over my chest, shaking my head. She hadn't changed a bit, it seemed. She was still just as impetuous as ever. "How'd you get past security?" I inquired angrily.

She clicked her tongue and picked up some papers off my desk, looking through them casually. "I don't think that's any way to greet your loving _cousin_, don't you think? And Waldo, I think his name is, was asleep on the job." She tossed the papers on the desk haphazardly and looked back up at me. "You guys really should hire better security guards."

Without saying a word, I walked over to my phone and picked it up to dial security. There was no way I was letting her come to my office and ruin everything. But as I raised the phone to my ear, I noticed there was no dial tone. Alice picked up a pair of scissors and smiled. That was when I saw that the cord of the telephone had been cut.

She just had to come here and destroy things, didn't she? So typical.

I slammed the phone back in place and shoved her dirty combat boots off _my_ desk. "What are you doing here and what do you want?" I questioned, getting to the point. The sooner we got this over with, the sooner she'd leave me alone.

"I just wanted to start off the New Year with my cousin and best friend," she admitted with a smirk.

I glowered at her. "We're not best friends," I seethed through gritted teeth.

"We used to be, and I'm determined to be again," she said, her happy exterior never wavering.

I scoffed, annoyed. "So, you've just decided this on a whim, huh?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "How very customary of you, Alice." Yes, I was acting bitchy. I was _pissed_.

Alice frowned momentarily, before giving me an earnest look as she stood from the chair. "Oh, come on, Bella. It's 2011. Can't we just start over, please?" she asked, and hopped up on the desk to sit in front of where I stood. She sat directly on top of documents that were important, and I quickly pulled them out from under her, shooting her a glare in the process.

"No," I said curtly.

She gave me a fake pout. "Please, Bella?" she whined. "Please, please?" I kept my expression set with the aggravation and anger that overwhelmed me. "Bellanator? Bellakins?" She giggled and jabbed me playfully in the side. "_Hella Bella_."

I instantly took a step back as if she had a disease. "Don't touch me, Alice," I threatened. "And _don't_ call me that."

"Oh, please! You loved being called that in high school."

"Not anymore," I replied forcefully, hoping she'd just get the message and leave.

She analyzed me for a few seconds with squinted eyes before hopping off the desk and looking around slowly. She grabbed a stapler that rested near my phone and began clicking it incessantly as she continued to take in my office.

"You rich?" she questioned suddenly.

_Here we go_. "I'm not," I answered dryly.

She set the stapler down and glanced at me. "You look rich."

"Well, I'm not."

"You're dressed like Martha Stewart and she's rich. Actually, I don't think Martha Stewart would wear those heels, which are totally bitchin', by the way."

I sighed, fed up, and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Can you just tell me why you're here?" I asked, just wishing this was a bad nightmare.

She placed her hands on her hips. "I told you. I wanted to start the New Year off with you. Is that so wrong?"

_Oh, please._ "What do you need, Alice? Money? A place to crash? Alcohol? Am I right?" I asked. I wasn't going to give her any of that, but I knew her habits like the back of my hand.

She shook her head. "Bella, I'm hurt. How could you think that? I just wanted to see my friend because I miss her, that's all. I don't need money or a place to stay. Got that all covered." After a moment, she smiled devilishly. "But booze…well…" I scowled. "Kidding! I'm kidding. I just want you, Bella. Well, I don't _want_ you. I mean, I'm not a lesbo or anything, but I want your friendship back."

I couldn't even believe she thought that would ever be happening again, especially after everything that she did. "You need to go, Alice. _Now_," I warned, otherwise I was going to lose it—big time.

She put her hands up in surrender, not particularly phased by my demeanor. "That's fine. I'll just come back tomorrow," she assured, and began to walk to the door. But just as she reached for the knob, it opened, revealing Jasper. His eyes immediately raked over Alice, looking confused and a bit flustered.

"Uhhh," was all Jasper managed to get out.

Alice looked back at me, giving me some sort of triumphant smile, which caused me to narrow my eyes.

"Goodbye, Alice," I said, trying very hard not to be rude to her with Jasper here.

"Aren't you going to introduce me?" Jasper inquired, his eyes flicking back and forth between Alice and me.

"Yes, Bella, aren't you going to introduce him to your cousin?" she asked slyly, and smirked, causing my nostrils to flare.

"Cousin?" Jasper questioned incredulously. "Bella, you told me you didn't have any cousins."

"She did?" Alice queried, looking entirely too amused. "Well, I'm her long lost cousin that was sent away to an orphanage and then turned to prostitution. The money is good, I must say." Jasper's eyes went wide in horror, and my own seared into Alice, imagining her as a pile of ash on the carpet. She giggled freely. "I'm joking. I'm just her cousin."

Jasper seemed to relax visibly. "That's good, uh…I mean, that you're her cousin and not a prostitute." He shook his head minutely, and cleared his throat.

I narrowed my eyes as I looked between Jasper, who looked embarrassed, and Alice, who was looking at him with some sort of flirty smirk.

She needed to go _now_.

"Alice was just on her way out, Jasper. She has important places to be," I said, giving her a quick warning look.

She seemed to understand. "Oh, yes! Important places to be," she parroted with a chuckle, and moved to the door, looking back over her shoulder at me. "Remember, tomorrow." Then, she was gone.

I wanted to sigh in relief now that she'd left. Though, I'd have to make sure later that security never let her past again. If she even stepped one foot back in here, she'd, no doubt, release the full wrath in me I'd been holding inside for seven years.

X-X-X-X

I kept my eyes on the road as I drove further and further away from the inner city of Seattle, heading due north. I was being impulsive, I knew this. It was a trait I'd once had, but learned to suppress over the years. Seeing Alice today had only reminded me of it.

I tried very hard to keep her out of my thoughts as I turned down the familiar, uncared for Pine Lake Rd. I hadn't hyped myself up nor tried to talk myself down. I'd simply just gotten into my car and drove, not stopping once.

When the surrounding pine trees began to become a bit scarce and not as close together, I knew I was where I needed to be. I turned into the gravel driveway and exhaled slowly as my eyes looked over the white house through my windshield. There was a very vintage looking metallic blue truck that was parked in the driveway, blocking me from moving any further, so I parked behind it and stepped out of my car. Instantly, a cool breeze wafted over me, and I tried to hold back a shiver.

I looked around for a few seconds and contemplated what I was going to do. It seemed that I had only thought up to driving over here, but not figured out what I would do once I actually arrived. The pile of wood that once graced the grass was no longer there and the house didn't look quite as…dirty, though I couldn't figure out what had changed.

Taking tentative steps, I approached the front porch, my breathing a bit unsteady. _Just relax, Bella. He's just a guy._

A guy who kissed me.

I tossed that mental image out of my brain as I walked up to the door. There was no doorbell, so I had to open the screen door and then knock on the actual wooden door, which hurt my knuckles. I quickly shut the screen and took a large step back in security.

I could hear a loud groan inside, which made my eyes go wide. No sooner than that, the door flew open, revealing a disheveled looking Edward in a white undershirt and paint splattered jeans. His eyes scanned over me once before he seemed to recognize who I was. Instead of saying anything, he merely blinked, staring at me through the screen door with a blank expression.

"I'm really sorry to, uhhh…" I started to say, but trailed off when I was overcome with a fluttering feeling in my stomach. All I could do was stare back.

He shook his head, and his eyes drifted to somewhere over my shoulder before landing back on me. "Is there something wrong with the collection?" he asked, his voice raspy, and then cleared his throat.

It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. "Oh, no," I assured. "No, there's nothing wrong with the collection. Everything's going well with that. It's been put on the block for this month's auction.

"Good," he said, and then we both were silent for several seconds. It was weird with me looking at him through a screen, and I started to grow a bit uncomfortable, shifting on my feet. He noticed and quickly opened the screen. "Sorry. Come in."

I nodded and stepped past him as I made my way inside hesitantly. I could sense his eyes on my back, so I glanced around, trying to shake off the nervousness I was suddenly feeling.

His house was modest. There was a decently sized living room with an open kitchen just behind it. The furniture was surprisingly tasteful, except for one piece that stood out like a sore thumb—a black leather La-Z-Boy recliner that was angled towards a small TV. I noticed there was a plaid shirt haphazardly tossed on top of it. Then there was the kitchen…which had empty beer bottles and boxes of takeout food scattered across the counters. This place was a mess.

"Oh, uh, just excuse me for one minute," he said a bit frantically, and quickly walked into the kitchen, trying to gather up all the beer bottles with two hands, but failing miserably as most toppled over. One even fell onto the floor, and he quickly bent down to pick it up, muttering something unintelligible to himself.

When he'd cleared up the mess in there, he walked back out to the La-Z-Boy and snatched the plaid shirt off it before retreating into a room that was opposite the living room.

I noticed there were two other doors down a hall, as well as a staircase that faced the back of the house. I merely stood in my place, trying not to let myself think that this was a bad idea, even though I was starting to realize how foolish I was. I'd basically come unannounced to a sort of stranger's house for the purpose of inquiring about a kiss that I wasn't even sure I had enough courage to bring up.

Edward came back out, wearing a clean pair of jeans and his usual plaid shirt. His hair, which had been a wild mess before, seemed to appear a bit more tamed, but still unruly as ever. His five o'clock shadow was rather thick, and he rubbed at his jaw as he stepped towards me.

"Sorry about that. I wasn't really expecting company," he said.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry to just intrude on you like this. I realize I probably should've called," I spoke, even though I knew I wouldn't have been able to do that.

He looked away, not answering, and then walked into his kitchen. "Do you want anything to drink?" he asked, and then opened his fridge. "I have…" he stopped talking, and then sighed "…just beer." He didn't have water? That was odd. He closed the fridge and glanced at me. "I know you said you don't like beer."

I smiled weakly at him, but was surprised he remembered that. "It's okay. I'm not very thirsty." There was more silence. Feeling uncomfortable, I wound up saying the first thing that popped into my head. "I noticed the wood is gone…" _Stupid! Why did you have to say something so trivial?_

He raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "I used it," he replied.

I nodded, because that was the obvious reason why the wood would be gone. If it wasn't so cold out, I knew I'd be sweating right now. "The last time I was here, I saw a dock around the back. I didn't go back there, but I just saw it from the front," I assured, hoping he didn't think I'd been trespassing.

His Adam's apple bopped before he spoke. "I can show you around, if you want," he offered. I frowned at that, not because I didn't want to be shown around, but because I actually did, and it unnerved me. He seemed to take it the wrong way as he backtracked. "Though, I'm sure you're not here for that…"

I shook my head and tried to conjure up a contented smile. "No, I'd love to see your property, actually," I assured. "From what I've seen, it looks like it could be great." _Oh no…did I really have to imply that his house wasn't great? _

He smiled minutely. "I'm actually doing up the house. It's been a while since we've been here."

I furrowed my brow. We? What did he mean by _we_?

Oh my God…was he living with someone? With a girl, perhaps? My eyes darted around, looking for evidence of another woman. Why hadn't I realized that he could be in a relationship and living with someone and this was their home?

"Everything okay?" he questioned, looking concerned.

"Um," I started hesitantly, still glancing around, but everything looked…manly. "I wasn't aware you lived with someone."

"No, I live by myself…" His voice trailed off, looking in thought, then realization washed over his face. "No, what I meant by 'we' was my parents. This was our summer home since I was a kid, but it's been unused for years." He brought his hand to the back of his neck briefly, before dropping it.

To say I was relieved was an understatement. But that still didn't answer whether he had a girlfriend or not. Why did I even want to know that?

"Come on, I'll show you around," he offered, and I nodded as he led me past the living room, down the hall with the doors, and towards the back.

There was another screen door that I hadn't seen that was opposite the stairs. I looked up the stairs and noticed it led to another door, which I assumed was the attic. He opened the screen and stepped out onto the back porch, keeping it open for me as I followed his lead. A chill ran through me as my eyes roamed over his backyard, which was essentially a grassy lawn that led to a straight dock that looked out onto the generously sized lake. Pine trees bordered the lake all the way to the other side. It was sort of comforting, in a way, and made me feel protected.

The view of the lake from the house was serene, and I wondered how it would look at sunset. Based on when I left work, I knew that wasn't too far away from now.

"This is amazing," I said in awe, and turned my head. That was when I noticed a gazebo that was next to the dock, looking out onto the water. It was half painted white. Was this why he'd had paint on him all the time? "That's a lovely gazebo." It was fairly simple in style, but still eloquent enough to stand out.

"Thank you," he said, sounding proud, and began walking towards it. I followed right behind him. "I've been trying to build it from scratch. It's been a challenge, to be honest, but I finally finished, and now all I have to do is paint, really."

He climbed the small step into it, analyzing it closely. I stayed outside of the structure, unsure of whether I could walk in. When he noticed my hesitance, he held his hand out with a warm smile. I reached up and wrapped my hand around his, feeling how rough it was to the touch, yet soothing. He grasped tightly and pulled me in with him, and I instantly dropped my hand, my body reacting in embarrassing ways that I knew wasn't just from the cold. I tried to cover up my breasts by crossing my arms over my chest.

"And you actually made this?" I asked, disbelieving him a bit. It was really well done. It looked almost professional.

He nodded and leaned against the post of the gazebo. "I had to do a bit of research, but once I got the gist of it, and the wood, of course—" he cast me a quick smirk "—the rest was easy."

Oh, so that was why he had the wood—to make a gazebo. But why? I mean, gazebos were sort of…feminine. Was it my place to ask what the purpose was? I couldn't help but go back to thinking that a woman was involved in this. He said he wasn't living with someone, but perhaps he was _going _to.

"So, is this for you or your…?" I questioned, not finishing on purpose. I didn't want to outright ask if he had a girlfriend. I'd now amounted to being devious. I was officially ashamed of myself.

He looked away, but I swore I saw a smile. "It's not for me," he merely said, and exited out of the gazebo.

I sighed, trying not to feel downcast at his avoidance of the true meaning of the question, which obviously meant that he was taken. Perhaps this was better, because then I could stop making a fool out of myself. I thought I didn't like the guy.

I followed after him as he walked down towards the dock. The water sloshed lightly against it, providing an ethereal sound. He walked all the way to the end of the dock, standing next to a step ladder that had been positioned on the side of it. I then noticed that there were no boats or anything strapped to the dock. Who had a dock with no boats? Not even a canoe? A kayak?

"You don't have a boat?" I inquired, and he turned around at my voice, watching me closely.

"Not yet," he said, and shrugged. "Maybe one day."

I joined him at the end of the dock and looked out across the now pink water, due to the oncoming sunset. I could tell already that the sky was going to turn a magnificent color, just by looking at it in its early stages.

"And you have no neighbors whatsoever?" I asked. It looked pretty deserted up here.

"No," he answered. "It's just me. It's always been like this, really."

"Must get lonely," I commented, not really to him but to myself.

He didn't answer straight away, which caused me to cast him a sideways glance. His expression was a mixture of sullen and curious. "I like the solitude, to be honest," he admitted. "I've been here for about a year now, just by myself, and it's a nice breather from the city."

"Is that where you lived before?" I asked.

He nodded. "Chicago, yes. Born and raised there, but came over here during the summers."

I wanted to ask him why he was here now, but it didn't seem like the right thing to bring up, so I merely stared back over the water, resigned that I'd ask him another time.

The vibrant orange and pink colors of the sunset began to turn the water a deeper shade of the pink it was. A formation of birds flew past, hovering over the lake as they moved. I closed my eyes, allowing the slight breeze to fan my face delicately. Though it was fairly cold, I didn't mind. It was a pleasant sort of cold, one I could manage. I slowly fluttered my eyes open, feeling at peace, and saw the sky had grown darker, turning more gold than pink.

"This is beautiful," I remarked, fascinated by the nature around that I would never see if I were in my apartment right now.

"It is," I barely heard him mutter, and I turned my head, catching him staring at me. His eyes were filled with an intensity I'd only seen once before, refusing to look away or break the connection we were currently holding. He stepped closer, and my body instinctively turned to him. My lips parted on their own accord as he brought his hand up to my face and caressed my cheek with his thumb. His eyes dropped to my lips, and he began to gravitate toward me. I remained still, the pumping of my heart accelerating with every inch he came closer. Just as his lips were a millimeter away, a deep voice in the distance took me out of my trance.

"Yo, yo, Ed! Where the hell is your skinny ass? I hope you're not jacking—"

Edward's eyes went wide and he quickly dropped his hand to turn toward the voice. "Emmett," he growled loudly, interrupting him. Edward turned back to me and gave me an apologetic look.

Emmett suddenly walked around the side of the house and stopped with a smirk when he saw us. "Well, well, the infamous Bella Swan," he greeted as he walked across the grass and onto the dock, which caused me to chuckle. Every time he saw me, he'd call me that. I still really hadn't figured out why.

"Hey, Emmett," I said.

"What are you doing here?" Edward asked, not appearing too happy.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Did you or did you not ask me to come down here so we can work on the truck?" he questioned.

Edward sighed. "You're right; I forgot."

Emmett smiled at me smugly. "Of course you forgot. Been showing Bella the dock, huh? What else have you been showing her?" He winked at me.

Edward groaned. "Go wait at the truck," he snapped quietly to him, and pointed towards the house.

My eyes darted between them, wondering why Edward was so short with Emmett and what they were talking about. What else could he possibly have to show me?

Emmett saluted and chuckled as he turned around and walked back to the house.

"Everything okay?" I asked Edward warily.

He turned back to me, his aggravated expression softening. "Yeah, I asked him earlier today if he'd stop by. We've been working on my truck for several months now, trying to restore it. I just completely forgot, I guess."

I nodded and looked down at the dock. "I'm sorry I came here without letting you know ahead of time. I just—"

He cut me off by lifting my chin to look up at him and brushed his thumb over my lips lightly, igniting goose bumps on my arms. "You don't need to be sorry, Bella. I'm glad you stopped by," he assured softly, then dropped his hand, leaving me stunned. "Come on. I'll walk you back up."

My brain remained clouded over before I nodded and followed him to the house. We walked in relative silence, side by side, our arms brushing up against each other every now and then, which sent slight shivers throughout me.

As we stepped around the side and onto the driveway, Emmett seemed to be absorbed in whatever was under the hood of the old truck. He had a tool in his hand and a crease was formed on his forehead as he worked. I noticed my car was blocked in by Emmett's Porsche.

"Em, move your car," Edward demanded.

Emmett groaned and set down his tool inside a toolbox set on the ground. "Alright, alright. Shit," he muttered, and quickly ran to his car.

"Do you have far to drive?" Edward asked me.

"Not really. I live near the auction house, so it's not too bad. If I leave now, I might be able to avoid traffic," I answered. He nodded, and his eyes darted around my face.

"There you go, douchebag," Emmett hollered, walking back past us. "I swear to fucking God, these past couple months you've been cranky as shit."

I glanced at Edward, who had his nostrils flared. Opening my car door, I slid in and buckled my seatbelt.

"Thank you for showing me around," I said. "Your place is really something."

One corner of his mouth tugged up slightly. "Maybe you can come see it again," he offered.

I tried not to show how much I'd like that, so I merely nodded and started the engine. We didn't exchange goodbyes as he shut the door. He didn't move from his spot as I reversed out and drove back toward the city.

* * *

**A/N:**

**After weeks of avoiding your constant questions about Alice, I can now rest easier, because she finally made an appearance. And not an appearance you were expecting, I bet.**

**There's a Polyvore on the profile as well as other pics. You can see just how…interesting Alice dresses, as well as see more of Edward in his plaid shirt. Yum.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx – for teasers and other junk. Make sure to stop by the forum, too.  
**


	9. He Listened to Me

**A/N:**

**Mixed reaction with Alice. Some loved her, and some didn't. She's definitely got history with Bella. Maybe we'll find out about that in this chapter. **

**The ladies on the forum have deemed this Edward "Imperfectward," so this chapter is dedicated to them. And Charmie, congrats on the baby girl!**

**Beta is Lindz26.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER NINE  
*HE LISTENED TO ME***

I was in a relatively good mood from my visit with Edward the day before. As soon as I'd gotten home yesterday, I'd gone to bed early, feeling satisfied and exhausted from my day. When I woke up, I felt the most refreshed I'd been in a long time, and took advantage of it by going for a run before I had to leave for work.

The rest of the morning and afternoon passed by with ease, and by the time work ended, I was ready to leave. Rose was going to come over to my place, and I planned on telling her everything that had transpired between Edward and me. She would bring the wine, and I'd order some takeout from the Italian restaurant down the street.

I walked into the break room, wanting to set my empty coffee mug in the sink. However, I froze when I saw Alice sitting on top of the counter with a smile on her face.

"How the hell did you get past security?" I questioned angrily, and eyed her outfit in disgust. She was wearing a black tank top with a pink skull and crossbones plastered on the front, paired with a short, black skirt and hot pink fishnet stockings. Her usual, dirty combat boots topped off the obnoxious ensemble. She dressed exactly the same as she did years ago.

Alice smirked. "I think Waldo has a thing for fishnet stockings. He just let me through. You really should hire better security guards," she answered cockily.

I groaned, and made a mental note to make sure _Waldo_ was fired. "Get out, Alice," I ordered, and walked to the sink to set my mug down in.

She made no move, except swung her legs a bit. "I told you I was coming today. Didn't you hear me?" she asked, though I was certain she already knew I'd heard her yesterday.

I sighed and placed my hands on my hips as I stared up at her. "What do you want?"

She grinned. "I thought I'd stop by your place today."

I glowered at her. Was she kidding? "Excuse me? You're not coming a mile within my apartment," I sneered.

She shrugged. "That's okay. I already know where you live."

There was no way she could actually know that. She had to be lying. "Right," I said sarcastically. "And how exactly would you know that?"

Giggling, she kicked off the counter and jumped down to the ground so we were level. "I don't give away my deep, _dark_ secrets," she said playfully, then shook her head. "Nah, I just asked your mom, who—by the way—told me to tell you to give her a call." She suddenly reached down the front of her shirt and pulled out a cell phone, then held it out to me.

I snatched it from her when I realized it was _my _cell phone she'd just had down her shirt. "Where did you get this?" I asked, wanting to scream with rage.

"I swiped it from your purse in your office," she admitted. My eyes went slightly wide as I began to hope she didn't steal anything from there. "Don't fret, my pet. I didn't take anything. But I did use some of that pink lip gloss you had in there." She puckered her lips and made an obnoxious kissing sound before she let out a small giggle.

Annoyed, I dialed my mother's number and stepped outside the break room as Alice began checking inside all the cabinets for God only knew what. My mother answered on the second ring, and I took the liberty of berating her thoroughly.

"How could you tell Alice where I live, Ma?" I scolded in question.

My mother sighed on the other line. "Be nice to her, Bella. She went through a lot of trouble to get in contact with you. I only told her where you worked and where you lived," she replied.

I gawked. "You told her where I worked, too? She showed up here yesterday, unannounced, and completely dodged security."

"She has a disregard for the rules, so what? She's making an effort to talk to you, and I think you need to give her a chance. I know you two have had a strained relationship—"

"No, Ma. We've had a _zero_ relationship," I corrected viciously.

"Whatever the case, she's being the bigger person here and you need to start acting like an adult and hear her out." My mother, still, to this day, had no clue just how toxic a person Alice was. She didn't know the full story. So, of course, she'd want me to befriend Alice again.

"Act like an adult?" I questioned incredulously. "I'm the one with the stable job. Do you think she even has one? I believe we both know the answer to that question."

"Don't be so judgmental, Bella. Just hear the girl out, if not for yourself, then for me."

I huffed. "Fine," I agreed through gritted teeth, and hung up.

As I stepped into the break room again, Alice was stuffing packets of sugar down her shirt. She glanced at me and smirked. "You can never have too many of these," she said.

I felt cold air blow behind me, and I turned to see Jasper hanging out in the doorway with a raised eyebrow. He was staring at Alice curiously.

"Hello," he greeted. "Alice, was it?"

She chuckled. "Yep," she answered.

Jasper's eyes roamed down her body, before a small smile spread across his face. This enraged me. Was he checking her out? Unbelievable. I was also hurt that he was just completely disregarding me as he continued to leer at her.

"Alice was just leaving," I remarked, my voice strained.

"Yeah, I'm going over to Bella's apartment," she said, causing my head to whip to her in fury. Like hell she was!

"Oh, that's very good," Jasper said, and then cleared his throat. "Bella, can I please speak with you a moment?"

I shot Alice an icy glare, to which she pouted playfully, and then I left the room with Jasper. He seemed distracted, and I began to realize just how much I missed talking to him. I hadn't really spoken to him since New Year's, nor had I apologized for being so rude. Maybe I could do that now.

"Jasper, look," I started, "about the other night—"

"Does Alice have a number?" he asked, cutting me off.

I raised an eyebrow curiously. "What?" Why did he want to know if she had a number? What kind of a number?

"You know a phone number. Do you have it on you?"

He wanted…her phone number. _Why_? _Oh, please no…don't tell me he actually likes her._ I was infuriated, saddened, and jealous all at the same time.

"I don't, actually," I answered. It was the truth.

"She's your cousin yet you don't have her number?" he asked, then shook his head. "Never mind. What about food? What does she like to eat?"

I was just plain pissed now. We'd only broken up a few months back and yet he was blatantly talking about another woman, without any regard for me! "She likes meat," I said coldly, and reveled in his immediate frown. "Fish, too. Any kind of animal, really, as long as it's slaughtered." I analyzed his crestfallen look, trying not to smirk triumphantly. "Is that all?"

He cleared his throat. "Yes, you go ahead and go. I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded and swiftly turned around, walking back into the break room. Making my way over to Alice, I grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her toward the door, just wanting to get her out of here as fast as I could.

"Are we going to your apartment?" she queried excitedly.

I didn't answer as I dragged her past Jasper, who was looking at us questioningly.

Alice glanced over her shoulder. "My goodness!" she exclaimed in a whisper. "What a hottie McBoss man." I groaned and walked us to the elevator, practically punching the button. "You're lucky to be working under him. Or maybe over him is more your style." She snickered and walked into the elevator just as it opened.

I swore to myself that I was going to make sure Alice stayed as far away from Jasper as possible.

X-X-X-X

Alice was throwing shirt after shirt over her shoulder, making a mess of the shop she'd dragged me to.

As soon as we'd gotten to my apartment earlier, she was barely there for two minutes before she ran into my bedroom and started going through my closet. She ransacked the entire thing and said my sense of fashion was as boring as watching Tom Hanks talk to a volley ball. Just because my clothes weren't as wild as hers, didn't mean I had boring fashion sense.

Almost immediately, she said she was going to get me better clothes. I didn't want to, but I remembered what my mom had said and I didn't want to upset her, to be honest. So, for now, I'd go along with Alice's little games for whatever purpose she had of manipulating me, but then I'd kick her to the curb.

So, here we were, in a run down vintage store. I watched as she continued pulling out clothes and tossing them around with a huff, which meant she didn't like them. We'd been here for ten minutes so far with her doing that.

"Alice," I scolded, and looked around nervously, "you're making a mess!"

"No, I'm adding style to it," she stated matter-of-factly.

A saleslady with a very large nose piercing walked up to us warily. She looked frightened at what was going on here, and I didn't quite blame her. "Can I help you?" she questioned, as if she didn't really want to help us at all.

"Um, I'm sorry…my cousin—" I began to apologize, before Alice stood with clothes in her arms and cut me off.

"Yes, do you have a changing room?" she inquired.

"Of course. Do you want me to take some of your…clothes to one?" the saleslady asked hesitantly.

"Nope, just point the way," Alice instructed with a flash of her teeth.

"Well, they're locked. I'd need the key," the saleslady informed.

"No need. I can pick it," Alice admitted, and I resisted the urge to hit my forehead on the nearest hard object.

She abruptly walked off toward the back of the store, and I reluctantly followed. Alice worked at the lock of the dressing room door with what looked like a bobby pin. She chuckled under her breath and then pushed it open.

"Took me under thirty seconds," she gloated. "I'm getting good."

I bit my tongue and walked into the dressing room with her. She shut the door behind me and started sorting through the clothes, telling me what to try on. I managed to avoid it, which was easy. All I had to tell her was that I would rather see the clothes on her. There was no point trying them on. I knew I wouldn't buy any of the clothes she picked out for me, since they would make me look like a blast from my unwanted past. That was the last thing I needed.

"So, who are you dating?" she questioned as she threw on a very retro, 80s, off the shoulder shirt.

I sat on the bench, my arms crossed over my chest stiffly. "No one," I mumbled.

"Hmm," she hummed in thought. "Jasper seems kind of cool." I clenched my jaw and remained silent. She eyed me through the mirror. "Do you like him or something?"

I glanced up at her and gave her a look, telling her silently to back off. "That's none of your business."

She smiled. "You forget that I can read you like a book, Bella."

I laughed bitterly and crossed a leg over the other. "Well, if you must know. We dated," I admitted, just wanting her to shut up about it all.

"Whooaaa," she dragged out in shock. "And here I was gonna ask him out." She furrowed her brow. "Well, you don't mind if I do, right? I mean, it's not like you're dating him anymore."

"He's not available," I snapped.

She raised an eyebrow. "He's not?"

"He's not available to _you_," I corrected.

"Why not?"

"Because he's not your type," I said honestly. Her type was usually the flaky, free-spirited, sexually promiscuous guys, much like her. Basically, they were all the female version of Alice. Jasper was way too good for her.

"Hmm, you're right. He's not, but I want a change," she said, and shrugged. "You know, New Year's resolutions and all."

"I thought you were dating some foreign guy?" I questioned. Last I'd heard through my family, Alice had been involved with a guy while she was in Spain.

"Oh, Demetri?" she scoffed disgustingly. "Yeah, that's totally over. Waste of my time. I'm done with Spain and I'm done with him." She gathered the clothes and pushed them all into the corner of the bench, seemingly done with them, and then sat down next to me. "You'd love Spain, though. It's so free and lively there. There's so much to do and the night life is just awesome. One day, you and I are gonna go back there."

Alice seemed to forget that I wasn't the same Bella anymore she once knew. Maybe the Bella from my past would've loved to be in Spain if it was anything like the way she described it, but now, I was different. Alice was in for a rude awakening when she saw just how much I'd changed.

X-X-X-X

Back at my place, I told Alice she needed to go now because my best friend was coming over, but she refused to leave, saying she wanted to meet the woman who had replaced her with the best friend title.

I was making no leeway with getting Alice to leave as she plopped her dirty combat boot covered feet on my beige, suede coach. So, when there was a knock on the door, I opened it with a groan. Rose stood there with a bottle of tequila and shot glasses. My eyes went wide as I stared at it all.

"That's not wine," I acknowledged loudly, horrified. _Oh, this isn't good for me._

She smirked. "I was in the mood for something stronger today," she said, and tried to move past me, but I stopped her. "What's up?"

"My cousin is here," I whispered.

Her eyebrow rose. "Cousin?" she questioned. "The cousin that practically ruined your life?" I nodded. "Well, shit. What the hell's she doing here?"

"I don't know. She keeps saying she wants to be my friend again or something," I answered in a low voice.

"Bella, where are you?" Alice called from the living room, her voice growing closer and her footsteps getting louder as she neared. She was suddenly looking over my shoulder at Rose. "Who are you?"

"I'm Rose," she answered, eyeing her cuttingly.

"Oh, you're the best friend title stealer," Alice said, and giggled. "Well, you're hot and you brought tequila, so you're okay in my book." She snatched the tequila out of Rose's hand and then left.

Rose laughed. "Wow, she's got some interesting fashion sense."

I rolled my eyes and nodded. And to think, I used to dress like that, too.

We made our way inside where Alice was already pouring shots of tequila. I eyed it with a sick feeling in my stomach. The last thing I should be drinking was tequila. That was practically my kryptonite. If I started drinking that again, in little to no time, I'd be on my way to unleashing something I didn't dare want to.

Rose plopped down on the couch next to Alice and took a shot glass, then handed one to me.

I shook my head. "No thanks," I said quietly, and sat in the sofa chair adjacent the couch.

"Why not?" Alice questioned, shocked. "You love tequila."

I glared at her. "No, I don't."

"Actually," Rose chimed in, "I've never seen you drink hard liquor, Bella. Only wine and champagne."

"Really?" Alice asked, wrinkling her nose. "In high school, tequila was Bella's standard drink at parties. Hell, she'd be drinking an entire bottle by the end of the night practically."

My face flushed in anger. "Well, obviously, I'm not in high school anymore," I snapped.

"Come on," Alice egged, unaffected. "We all gotta get drunk!"

"No," I said sternly, knowing that would be a disaster.

"Aww, Bella. I've never seen you drunk," Rose said sadly, pouting.

Alice gasped. "Your best friend title stealer hasn't seen you drunk? What kind of best friend title stealer friend is she? You need to drink!" she demanded, and slid the shot across the coffee table.

I looked down at the clear liquid warily. This wasn't a good idea. I should say no. Peer pressure was such a torrid thing. But one couldn't really hurt, right? It would only be one.

X-X-X-X

Seven shots later, I was burning up and my head was beginning to spin. I could feel my usual demeanor begin to drift away, and the deep, suppressed side of me that I didn't want started to claw its way out.

Alice and Rose were laughing maniacally as Rose tried to pour another shot, but kept spilling the liquid onto the table. She finally gave up, giggling. Alice grabbed the bottle and did it like a pro.

"How the fuck do you do that?" Rose shrieked loudly, probably not aware at the volume of her voice.

"It's a gift. I've worked as a bartender for years now, and most of the time, I was plastered on the job, so I had to learn how to keep a steady hand while pouring," Alice answered.

I snorted unattractively. "I remember a time when your only job was to blow," I said crassly, and laughed.

Alice giggled and attempted to smack me with the couch's throw pillow, but missed. "Oh my God! Shut up! I didn't give blow jobs that often."

I rolled my eyes, but then felt my head spin, so I stopped that immediately. "Oh please. You gave a blow job to some college guy at a party, and then ten minutes later, you were with someone else."

"That was once!" Alice shouted.

"Whoa," Rose said, chuckling. "That's pretty slutty."

My phone suddenly rang somewhere in the apartment, and I attempted to get up, but immediately lost my balance and dropped to the floor, falling on my face. All I could do was laugh along with the girls as I rolled over onto my back. I saw Alice's feet run by my head, and a second later, the ringing stopped.

"Bella's blow job hotline, how may I help you?" Alice greeted.

I gasped, trying to stop laughing. "Alice, give me the phone!" I yelled.

"Yes, who is this?" Alice questioned, and then giggled after a moment. "Ohhhh. I'm her cousin…No, but you should totally come over."

I attempted to stand up, managing to only get on my hands and knees. I could hear Alice rattling off my address, and then, in a flash, she was back on the couch.

"Alice," I groaned. "Who the hell was that?"

She snickered. "It was the wrong number," she answered.

"You gave my address to some stranger?" I asked incredulously.

She shrugged and poured more tequila into my shot glass. "Snoozefest Bella is starting to come out again, so drink this," she ordered.

I moaned, but tossed the shot back, feeling the familiar burn slither down my throat, warming my insides welcomingly. I could feel this one hit instantly, and I was really beginning to become obliterated.

"Let's do something fun," Alice suggested.

"Like what?" I questioned, and lay down on the carpet where things weren't so spinny.

"Oh my God!" Alice gasped. "I know, I know! Bella, truth or dare?"

I sat up on my elbows and gave Alice a challenging look. "Dare," I replied bravely.

She smirked widely. "Okay, then. You have to flash Seattle."

Rose burst out into laughter. "She's never going to do that," she remarked. I scoffed, and tried to stand up, having to steady myself on the coffee table first before slowly straightening out my spine. "You're actually going to do it?" Rose looked surprised.

"If I can make it over to the damn balcony door," I said.

Alice giggled and stood from the couch, helping me out as she led me to the balcony door. I could vaguely make out her chanting something under her breath, which sounded a lot like "_Hella Bella_."

The door opened easily, sending in a _whoosh _of cold, frigid air, but my body was so warm that I barely felt it. I stepped outside on my own and held onto the railing, looking down once and feeling a brief wave of vertigo. Then, with all the energy I could muster, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it up past my chest. When I realized I had a bra on, I groaned and moved the cups down.

I could hear the girls laughing hysterically in the background, which had me smiling drunkenly. Just to give them something else to laugh about, I decided to amp it up a bit.

"SEATTLE!" I bellowed into the dark night, my voice bouncing off the nearby buildings. "GET YOUR FREE NIPPLES!"

When my nipples started to feel a mixture of hot and cold, I quickly fixed my bra and pulled my shirt down, then went inside.

"Shit!" I cursed, rubbing my breasts soothingly. "My nipples feel on fire."

"Yeah, and they're sticking out like nobody's business," Rose added with a laugh as she lay on the couch, looking spent.

"Well, then, stop looking," I retorted with a smirk.

"Again!" Alice exclaimed.

"If I do it again, my nipples will fall off," I said, laughing.

There was a quiet knock on the front door, and all our heads whipped to the sound. I wondered if any of the neighbors had seen my display, and I chuckled internally at the thought.

I made my way over to the door, stumbling quite a bit, and then swung it open carelessly. My eyes adjusted, landing on what looked like the hottest damn man I'd ever seen in my life. I blinked a few times and realized it was Edward…_at my door_.

Holy crap!

He was wearing just jeans and a T-shirt, and his face was clean shaven, which had me pouting a little. I'd grown used to his scruffiness. I noticed he was staring down at my chest with glazed over eyes, his face flushed.

"Edward!" I yelled excitedly, and threw myself into his arms. Actually, it was more like stumbling into his arms. My face landed in his chest, and I let out an "oomph" sound. There was something jabbing me in the stomach, so I pulled back to see a semi-smooshed box. "What's in there?"

"Um," he started, "it's the princess cake you said you like. I got it in green for you."

I gawked at him, wondering how he remembered that. He must've been a superhero. "You got me a green cake!" I exclaimed, grinning ear to ear. "Green is better than the pink." I squinted a little at him. "Plus, it matches your eyes, which makes it ten times better." I snatched the cake from him and walked inside to the kitchen.

"Who's here?" Alice asked from the living room.

"It's Edward. He came to give me green cake," I answered, rolling my eyes at her for not knowing.

She snickered. "We can cut the cake with your nipples!"

I laughed, not objecting to the idea, and set the cake on the counter before walking out of the kitchen, only to run straight into Edward. "Whoa, where'd you come from?" I asked him, feeling how hard his chest was. _Very hard_.

"Bella, are you drunk?" he questioned, a small smirk gracing his lips.

I snorted. "I might be," I answered, and dragged him by the front of his shirt into the living room with me. The girls were pouring more shots of tequila. "Guys, Edward is here."

"Hey, Edward," Rose greeted groggily, tossing up her hand in a pathetic wave. She looked about ready to pass out.

"Yeah, that's the guy that asked me to dinner, but he didn't know that he wasn't talking to you," Alice said, slurring her words.

"Um, well…" Edward's voice trailed, and then he cleared his throat, appearing nervous. He probably needed tequila.

And then it clicked. "Ohhh, it was _you_ on the phone?" I queried. However, I briefly wondered how he'd gotten my number, when I swore I never gave it to him. I cast it out of my brain, not really giving a damn at the moment.

"Never mind that!" Alice exclaimed. "Sit so we can continue drinking."

Edward took a seat on one of the sofa chairs and then looked off to the side where my fish tank was. "You have a fish?" he questioned.

I nodded. "That's where Max lives," I told him. "It's short for Maximillian. He's named after the great Roman emperors."

"Sit!" Alice yelled at me.

I groaned and looked at the couch. Rose was taking up most of it and was practically asleep now. I glanced at Edward's lap, which seemed more inviting than on top of Rose, so I walked over to him and straddled his waist, he leaned back in the chair stiffly, looking up at me in bewilderment and panic. When I was comfortably seated on top of him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and flashed him my winning smile. He smelled so damn good, like pine trees. I was pretty sure I openly sniffed him, too.

"I'm glad you came," I said to him lazily.

He seemed to relax slightly. "Really?" he asked.

"I've been thinking about you all day," I admitted, and began playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He closed his eyes, looking like some sort of an angel. "Same here," he revealed, and let out a sigh.

As I watched him closely, I rubbed my hands down his neck and over his broad shoulders, resting them on his chest. "You're really cute, you know," I remarked bluntly, and then ran a hand along his smooth jaw. He shivered at my touch. "When I first met you, I didn't like your scruffiness, but now, I miss it."

The intensity of his green eyes as he stared into mine nearly emptied out every thought in my head. "I'll grow it back," he assured.

"You better," I said low and seductively, leaning my face into his slightly.

"Yeah! Hella Bella is back!" Alice cheered, bringing me out of the small bubble Edward and I had been in.

I giggled and nuzzled my face into the crook of Edward's neck, smelling his woodsy scent even more. I shifted my hips a bit to get more comfortable, and then…I felt it.

Holy shit.

Edward had a massive erection! It was pressed right underneath my ass, making things feel all tingly.

I brought my lips to his ear and grazed my nose against the shell. "I think you've got a bit of a problem," I whispered, then ground myself into his distinguishable bulge.

His hands instantly went to my hips, stilling me with a death grip. "Who's Hella Bella?" Edward choked out, sounding in pain.

"Hella Bella is only the most insane, wildest chick you'll ever meet," Alice answered. "She's just pure awesomeness."

I nodded. "Yeah, I am," I confirmed, and then poked Edward in his chest. "Edward has a nickname, too, you know."

"Oh…uhhh," Edward fumbled frantically, shaking his head.

"What is it?" Rose asked, her voice raspy. Wasn't she asleep?

I giggled. "It's Teddy. Isn't that right, Teddy?" I asked him, but he didn't answer, his face becoming slightly red. "He has sex with all these women and then snuggles with them after they screw."

Rose and Alice laughed, and I joined them. It was funny as hell.

"Bella, I'm—" Edward began to say before he was cut off by my finger pressing firmly into his soft, tantalizing lips.

"It's okay, Teddy," I whispered. "Your secret's safe with us."

His eyes darted behind me. "So, tell me about this Hella Bella."

Alice, gladly, went into an explanation of all the shenanigans I used to get up to back in high school. How, once, Alice and I had gone on a road trip, and I decided I wanted to moon cars that passed by. When I ended up doing it, there was a bus load of young kids that drove past, and we could hear their screams as they saw my bare ass. Edward laughed, fully enjoying this. I merely rolled my eyes and snuggled into his neck, letting my spinning head zone me out.

"Do you still do stuff like that, Bella?" Alice questioned.

I burrowed my head further into his neck. "No, I'm different now," I answered honestly. I was pretty much the complete opposite of what I used to be.

"Why?" Alice asked. "I liked Hella Bella."

"Well, of course_ you_ would like Hella Bella," I snapped, annoyance seeping into my happy disposition.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked defensively.

My head was starting to spin less, and I could feel my sense of control coming back. Anger was becoming the prevalent emotion within me. I abruptly stood and stared daggers at her. "It means, I just wish you'd go away, Alice!" I yelled, and quickly ran into my dark bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

Incensed, I climbed into my bed and got under the covers. I threw them over my head and allowed my mood to shift from fury to complete despair.

There was a knock on my door, and I pulled the covers higher over my head. "Go away, Rose. I'm not in the mood," I whined, and flipped on my side.

"It's Edward," I heard through the door. "Can I come in?"

His silky voice soothed me instantly, and I found myself saying yes.

The door creaked open, and then I heard it shut, as well as heavy footsteps resound around my bed. The mattress sunk down next to me and something warm pressed up against my body. The covers slowly began to come down from my head, revealing Edward's face an inch from mine as he lay on his side. He reached up and brushed the sticky hair out of my face.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"No," I answered truthfully, and pouted. "I hate her." He brought me closer to him, and I nuzzled my face into his neck, sighing comfortably. "I mean, she has to come here, ruin my life, take Jasper away, and make me completely miserable. God, I just hate her so much."

I could hear him breathing, and if I let it, it would lull me to sleep. "It upsets you that she'd take Jasper away?" he asked softly.

"It did at first, because I thought he was going to stop liking me, but then I didn't seem to care and I don't know why. But he's still my friend and I know what she'll do to him in the end, and it's not fair." I turned on my back, staring up at the ceiling in thought. "I mean, wasn't ditching me in Italy enough? Is she planning on doing it again?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, sounding confused.

I sighed, unsure of whether I wanted to divulge this part of my life I wanted to forget, but I knew that it would bug me if I didn't address it to myself. "When we were just out of high school, we decided to take a trip to Italy for a couple months as a graduation present to ourselves," I started. "We had a blast at first, traveling around, learning the language. One night, we were out at this Euro club, dancing, and we met these two guys that said we should stay with them at their place, and of course, we did, because that was how we were." I paused a moment, taking a deep breath. "But that night, Alice decided to take off with one of the guys. I told her to leave my passport and money with me. She said she'd be back and not to worry.

"The other guy that we'd met was sorta handsy with me, and I didn't mind at first, until when we got back to his place, he started to push me into doing more. I didn't want to. It got to a point where he was practically forcing me—" I winced at the memory "—and then I knew that he was going to try and take me without my consent."

Edward didn't respond to that, except shift a bit on the bed. I was grateful for that, so I continued, "I ended up screaming for help, and he tried to shut me up, but by then, it was too late and some neighbors came over and saw him with his pants down and my skirt up around my waist." The memory of it all made my voice crack. "He ended up going to jail on the spot. I had no clue how to contact Alice because we didn't have phones, but after that night, she never came back. She left me stranded there with no money, no passport, nothing. I couldn't call my parents to help me out, either. It's not that simple in another country where you have nothing.

"So, I spent the next seven or eight months after that working really skuzzy jobs like bartending where they'd try to feel me up, waitressing, where I was always practically verbally abused by my boss. It took me ages, but I finally saved up enough to get a ticket home and get another passport.

"When I got home, my parents were going crazy. Apparently, they'd called the police and everything, saying that I was missing because I was supposed to be back home months before. They said that Alice had been home for a long time. I was so pissed. I'd spent months growing to hate her because of what she did. When I saw her, I told her to stay the hell out of my life forever, and I guess she wasn't fazed, because the next day, she left town," I finished, frowning at what a bad place I was in back then, and how it was the catalyst to why I was the way I was now.

"Wow, Bella," he whispered quietly, appearing deep in thought.

"So, you see why I hate her? Why I want her gone?" I questioned, tears springing to my eyes. "She's nothing but a waste of space. She'd be better off dead."

I felt warm lips on my forehead, and Edward's pine scent eased my nerves. "I don't think you mean that," he said, causing me to sigh, because he was right.

"No, but I wish I did," I said, more to myself than to him. I turned on my side and stared into his eyes, which I could barely make out in the dark. "Why are you so sweet to me? I don't deserve it. All I've ever done is be mean to you."

He shook his head and caressed my face softly with his knuckles. "You haven't been mean to me. I'm the one that's been handling things all wrong."

"Why?" I questioned.

"I don't know, Bella," he said, and sighed, then flipped onto his back as he threw an arm behind his head. "It's just…when I'm around you…I get nervous and start knocking things over." He laughed lightly.

I giggled. "Yeah, you do. You're really clumsy."

"I'm not normally," he admitted, and turned his face to look at me, "just around you."

"Why?" I asked, feeling myself growing tired.

He smiled. "You ask too many questions when you're drunk."

I yawned. "Yes, but I wanna know."

He pulled my limp body so that I was resting my head on his chest. "Maybe another time," he assured.

"No, now…" I whined weakly, and let my eyes flutter closed.

"I think you're about ready to pass out," he noted, his voice drifting away.

"I think so, too," I mumbled lazily, and allowed myself to fully slip under.

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**A/N: **

**Well, now you know why Bella hates Alice. How do you feel about her now? And Edward is kind of sweet, isn't he? **

**For this week only, I'm sending out teasers if you review. It will have both Edward and Bella in it. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	10. He Saw Me

**A/N: **

**Wow, thanks so much for all the reviews last chapter. That was kind of an insane amount. It pushed me over a thousand, so you all are awesome. **

**Many of you wondered why Bella didn't do this or that to get herself out of Italy earlier, or why Alice didn't tell her parents, etc. There are a lot of technicalities involved, which I won't get into, but the bottom line is that they were both teenagers. I don't know about you, but when I was that young, I didn't exactly think straight either, especially under stressful situations. I don't think it's important to go into every little detail about it, since the story isn't about what Bella did or didn't do in Italy. However, I do explain this time in her life a little on the MPMI forum. And you're always free to ask me questions.  
**

**I just want to say a mega thank you to those that nominated me for the Fandom People Awards. I placed in 13 categories, which I wasn't expecting to place in even one category. It's definitely an honor, so again, thank you. The link is somewhere on my profile if you want to see all the winners.**

**Beta is Lindz26. She's the bee's knees.

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**CHAPTER TEN  
*HE SAW ME***

"Mmmm," I moaned in pain as I poured coffee into my mug to remedy my awful hangover. There was a loud drilling noise that was causing my head to hurt. "Who's doing construction this early?"

"That's just the copy machine," Rose grumbled, taking the coffee from me to pour in her own mug. She was equally as hungover as me, if not more.

"Well, tell them to be quiet out there," I said, not really thinking about what I was saying as I took a much needed sip.

Rose set her coffee down on the counter, walked the distance to the door, and stuck her head out of the break room. "Be quiet, will ya?" she barked, and then made her way back over to me casually.

I flinched, partly because of her loud voice, but also because I didn't want her to be rude like that. "Rose, I wasn't actually serious."

She shrugged. "Well, I was," she said, and leaned against the counter with her coffee mug in one hand. She was analyzing me closely and I didn't know why.

"What?" I questioned, and took another sip of coffee, allowing the hot liquid to warm my throat.

"Quite a night last night," she remarked with some sort of amusement lining her tone.

I groaned. "Don't even remind me."

I remembered bits and pieces, but nothing concrete. I was sure there was laughing, I knew for certain there was tequila, and I distinctly remembered green princess cake, for some reason, which was still sitting in my kitchen untouched.

This morning, I'd woken up with all my clothes on from the night before with a snoring Rose on my couch. Since we'd overslept tremendously, I had to let her borrow something from my wardrobe, which was unusual. Actually, she'd never worn anything from my closet. It was always me wearing her things because she said I dressed too sophisticated sometimes for her taste.

"If I recall correctly," she started with a mischievous smile, "you were grinding on a certain someone."

My eyes went wide. What exactly had I done and who with?

I'd known that by drinking tequila, I would've reverted back into my former, youthful self, yet I'd still gone through with it with that knowledge. I'd been stupid and reckless. The last time I'd done shots of any alcohol was when I was on the cusp of turning twenty years old. I was practically near thirty now.

"You're joking," I said, but somehow, I had a feeling she wasn't.

She shook her head, the corner of her mouth turning up. "Can you take a guess who?"

Trying as hard as I could, I dug deep in my brain to remember which poor guy I'd most likely thrown myself at, but nothing was coming to mind. "I have no idea. Please tell me," I practically begged. If it was my seventy year old neighbor, next door, I'd have to write out an apology letter to him, because I would be too chicken to apologize face-to-face.

"Starts with an E, ends with bumping uglies in your bedroom," she revealed.

I gasped loudly, nearly spilling my hot coffee all over my hand and blouse. "Oh my God! Edward was with us last night?" I questioned, now starting to remember his overall presence there, but nothing specific. Then, with horror, it hit me what she'd said. "We…we had…?" My tone was quiet, petrified, and lifeless. I couldn't even finish the sentence.

She snorted. "No," she said, and laughed. I narrowed my eyes at her. "I just wanted you to admit that something's going on between you two."

I sighed, relieved, and set my coffee down. "Well, I've been meaning to tell you, honestly," I tried to salvage, "and I _think_ I was supposed to tell you last night." I rubbed my forehead, trying to soothe the throbbing.

"Hmm," she said in thought briefly. "So, what's going on, then?"

Gearing myself up, I stepped a little closer and looked towards the doorway, just to check if anyone was around. "Remember at the New Year's Eve party I was supposed to kiss Jasper?" I prompted, to which she nodded. "That never happened. He got a call at the last minute, literally, and I was left alone during the countdown."

"No way…," she said, her mouth open and her brow furrowed.

"But then, Edward just swooped in out of nowhere and kissed me," I finished, reliving the memory. It brought on a feeling of confusion, anxiety, yet excitement.

She suddenly gasped, her eyes lighting up. "_That's _what they were talking about," she said enthusiastically to herself.

"Who was talking about what?" I queried.

"Okay," she began, calming herself, "we were in the car on the way to the party after picking up Edward. I told you, they were talking in code. Emmett said something like, 'You need to go for it with BS,' and Edward just said no, then Emmett said that if he just got it over with, that maybe _BS_ would finally notice." She paused, in thought. "It really didn't cross my mind that 'BS' stood for your full name."

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, a little taken aback by her revelation. "Are you sure?" I asked, disbelieving.

"I'm almost positive now."

So, if they'd been talking about me before the kiss, did that mean they'd talked about me even before that? Somehow, I thought so, considering Emmett always referred to me as the "infamous Bella Swan." But, then, that meant it went as far back as the blind date…and I'd been completely oblivious to it all.

"It makes sense," Rose said, almost as if reading what my mind was thinking. "That time we went out to dinner, I didn't tell you, but all he kept doing was staring at you like you were God's gift to men." She chuckled. "And then before that, he was all quiet whenever you were around. You know, Emmett told me Edward's a pretty quiet guy, but not_ that_ quiet."

"Okay, Rose, stop," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. I was having a really hard time wrapping my mind around this.

"What?" she asked. "It's sort of obvious he's had a bit of a thing for you for a while now. No big deal."

"_No big deal_?" I asked incredulously. "This is a huge deal, Rose. I don't date. I wasn't even looking for someone to date. Now, suddenly, here he is and—"

"Hey," she interrupted, and placed a hand on my shoulder to calm me. "You're over thinking this. I think you're just scared because your brain has been ninety-nine percent Jasper, and now someone else is worming their way in, am I right?"

I frowned, because what she was saying was fitting. "I just don't know what to do," I spoke quietly.

She walked around my side and looped her arm through mine, beginning to walk us toward the exit of the break room. "Here's what you do," she started. "You talk to Edward, verify that he's been trying to put the moves on you, even though it's sort of obvious, and then decide from there if you want to move forward or not."

As we neared my office, we both stopped right outside the door. "Okay," I replied meekly, a little scared.

She chuckled. "You look like you're about to throw up," she noted, and I was sure that was exactly what I was going to do. "Tell me this, Bella. How do you feel about him?" I managed a small shrug. I had no idea what it was I felt for him, but I wish I knew. She rubbed one of my arms soothingly. "That's okay. You don't have to know that yet. But when he kissed you, what emotions did you feel?"

"I don't know," I started, trying to remember. "It all happened so fast. I didn't know it was him at first, and I just recall feeling like I was floating." She smirked at me. "What?"

"Floating? You so like him."

I shook my head in response. "I'm really not sure—" I began to say, before she cut me off.

"Admit it. You like him."

I sighed heavily. "We have nothing in common, Rose," I said honestly.

"So what?" she asked. "You think Emmett and I have everything in common? It may look like that, but it's only because we have a strong connection." She paused, taking in my thoughtful expression, no doubt. "Do you have a connection with Edward?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure." The only time we'd actually been natural with each other was when we were at that bar and grill, before the disaster happened. Our conversation had flowed, surprisingly, but how could I deduce a connection based on that?

"Well, you need to find that out," she instructed, and then looked across the main office. "Oh, shh, Jasper's coming."

I turned my head, and sure enough, he was walking toward us from the elevator. Inwardly panicking, I kept my eyes on Rose to avoid him. For some reason, I felt guilty, considering I'd just been talking about another man that wasn't Jasper.

"Good morning, Jasper," Rose greeted.

"Good morning, ladies," he replied with his usual charming smile. "How are you?"

"We're both good," Rose answered for us, and I was grateful for it. "Just discussing when to schedule in an appraisal for the Smiths collection."

"Very good," he said, sounding pleased as well as more chipper than he usually was. "Well, I'll be in my office." He began whistling an unknown tune as he walked past us.

"Goodness," Rose whispered to me once he shut the door to his office. "Could he be any happier? You know what that means…" She snorted, and then quickly said she'd talk to me later as she headed to her own office.

Before I could fully let her insinuation sink in, I heard my phone ringing inside my office, so I hurried inside to answer it.

"Isabella Swan," I greeted, and lowered myself to sit in the swivel chair.

"Morning," Angela spoke. "Roberta Cummings is here for her appointment with Jasper."

I grabbed my scheduler from inside my top desk drawer and flipped through. But when I saw that Roberta wasn't even scheduled until late in the afternoon, I became confused. "Angela, she shouldn't be here until three, and it's now—" I checked my watch "—eight-fifteen."

"Should I tell her to come back later?"

I sighed and shut the scheduler. I really didn't like when Jasper's day was thrown off. "No, just send her up, thanks," I said, and hung up briefly before dialing the extension number I needed.

"Jasper Whitlock," he greeted.

"Hey, it's me," I replied awkwardly. "Bella, I mean."

He chuckled heartily. "Yes, I know it's you. What is it?"

"Well," I started, "Angela just called and said that one of your afternoon appoint…" My voice trailed off when my eyes caught sight of a flash of short, dark hair on the floor of the main office.

_Oh dear Lord…_

"Bella?" Jasper questioned, sounding concerned.

Alice was currently crawling on the ground, right under Jasper's window, heading toward my office. When she'd passed the window, she stood up, and righted her hot pink mini skirt. I wasn't sure why she was doing that, but then again, she was an odd person.

"Uhh," I fumbled, my eyes glued to her in horror. "Let me call you back later."

I didn't even give Jasper a chance to respond as I hung up quickly and stood. As Alice walked into my office, I made my way to her and wrapped my hand around her upper arm tightly.

"Hi, Bella," she said while I led her in and shut the door swiftly.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed in question.

"I just wanted to talk to you," she answered, her voice sounding not as enthusiastic as it normally did.

I groaned and walked to my desk, trying to put some distance between us. "I really don't want to talk to you, Alice," I replied. "How did you get up here, anyway?"

After Alice's ambush the other two times she'd been here, I'd taken extra measures to make sure it wouldn't happen again. Another security guard had been added to the team to assist Waldo, who was well into his seventies. Unfortunately, I couldn't get him fired, because, otherwise, I'd have to tell Jasper why we should let him go, and I didn't think he'd accept the reason at all.

"Your secretary believed me when I said I was Roberta Cummings," she admitted, looking a little sheepish. "You really need to hire new staff. This is the third time I've gotten through." She walked around my desk and sat down. "By the way, remember to send out invitations for the January auction." She tapped her finger on my closed scheduler.

My jaw clenched. Had she been going through my scheduler? How and when did that even happen? That would explain how she knew about Roberta Cummings.

"Get out, Alice," I spat, entirely fed up, and walked toward the door to open for her.

Before I could, however, she bolted to me, grabbing my hand to prevent me from grasping the knob. "No, wait. I just want to talk," she pleaded, sounding desperate, which threw me off a little.

I pulled my hand out of her hold and took a small step back. "There's nothing to say," I spoke coldly.

"Yes, there is. I heard you last night."

"You heard me?" I questioned, baffled at first, but then slowly began to realize what she was talking about. I now recalled being in my bedroom with Edward as he listened to me blab about my pathetic past.

_Oh God…he probably won't ever speak to me again. _

Come to think of it, I'd fallen asleep with him there, and then woken up with him gone. Well, that just proved how repulsed he must've been. I couldn't blame him…I knew how much I hated anything to do with my past.

"You were in your bedroom with the hunky guy, and I heard you. Why didn't you ever tell me about what that Italian guy almost did to you?" she asked.

"Tell you?" I repeated, angry and flabbergasted by her words. "Alice, you_ ditched_ me in Italy. How, exactly, was I supposed to tell you?"

"No, I mean, when you got home."

I laughed bitterly. "Are you kidding me right now? I was stranded in another country for eight months because of you. Why on earth would I bother to tell you?"

She placed her hands on her hips, huffing. "I don't know, Bella. Maybe because we're _friends_."

How dare she just come back into my life and try to worm herself in again, and then, on top of that, subtly make me out to be the bad guy. She had some nerve.

"You're an idiot if you think we're friends or ever will be again," I seethed.

Her expression dropped, becoming hopelessly sad. "We used to be friends," she spoke quietly.

Her defeated attitude was angering me even more, and all the animosity I had toward her when she'd first abandoned me in Italy, came completely barreling back. "That was before you up and left me for a guy who probably just saw you as a hole to stick his dick in," I spat maliciously. I was temporarily shocked at my harsh words, but quickly realized that she deserved it after everything she put me through.

Alice always brought out the worst in me.

"Ouch," she said dejectedly, and glanced away.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

Her light blue eyes found mine again, a hint of resolve there. "Look," she began, "you want to know why I came back?"

I laughed humorlessly. "I knew there was another reason. That whole 'let's be friends again' crap was just an act."

"No, it wasn't," she exclaimed with emotion. "I was telling you the truth with that, I swear…but there's another reason, too."

I shook my head. I wouldn't play her little game anymore. "I don't particularly want to know. I want nothing to do with your screwed up mess of a life."

"_God, Bella_!" she all but yelled in despair, throwing her hands up. "Can you just listen to me?"

"Why should I?" I countered.

"I'm just going to tell you, anyway, since you're being stubborn, so you better listen," she demanded. When I didn't respond to her immediately, she took the liberty of continuing. "I met a guy—"

"Ha!" I exclaimed with a smirk, because this was just so typical. I already assumed this was how it would start.

Alice didn't seem to be fazed at all. "I'd been living in Spain for a while and I loved it," she began. "I was having the time of my life. I met Demetri there at a bar I was working at and he was amazing. He was just...everything that I liked in a guy. He was fun, handsome, free-spirited. I really fell in love with him quickly. We ended up traveling around Spain together, just seeing the sights and being with each other." She paused, taking a deep breath. "But one night, he met some other girl and then up and left me. Just like that. I was crushed."

"Guess you know what it's like to be abandoned now, huh?" I questioned, feeling no sympathy toward her.

"Yes, actually," she replied. "All I could think about was what I did to you and how, now, I know what you went through. I didn't understand back then why you were so angry with me…I didn't get it. Honest to God, I didn't even remember that your passport and money were still with me when I left you. I honestly thought you'd be okay, because we always did stuff like that, Bella. But I get now why you were so pissed. And as soon as I realized, I knew I had to come to you. I had to make things right."

"Gee, seven years later," I said cynically.

Alice quickly unraveled my arms that were crossed tightly, and took hold of one of my hands in hers. "Bella, I want my friend back. I need you," she spoke softly.

"I needed you at one time and look what happened," I reminded, slipping my hand out of her grasp.

"I know, and I'm sorry for that. If there's anything in my life that I regret…it's that. If I could go back and change things, now knowing what I know, I would."

I could see the conviction in her eyes and the desperation she was emitting. A small part of me began to feel somewhat sorry for her. I hated it so much, but it couldn't be stopped. I was a good person at heart, and it could either be my strength or my downfall.

"This doesn't change anything just because you had some epiphany," I said honestly.

"I know, but I'm trying to make things better…Can you please let me?" she pleaded.

I sighed in frustration. "By coming into my life and making a mess of things all over again?"

"I'm not trying to do that. Honest. I just miss you so much, Hella Bella."

"Don't call me that," I snapped angrily. I hated that old nickname with every fiber of my being. I wouldn't stand to be called it ever again.

"Right, right…sorry," she tried to salvage, and sighed. "I forget you're all straight-laced now."

"I'm not that girl anymore, Alice," I began. "The girl that ran around everywhere with you and got into trouble—she's gone. I'm different, and I refuse to allow you to change me back into her."

"Then, I'd like to get to know the new you," she offered.

She was really trying hard here. With everything I was throwing at her, she was coming back as if she was wearing a suit of armor. Though I was angry with her, and might always be, I couldn't deny that she was making an honest effort to befriend me again…even if she was loopy in her efforts.

"You have a lot to make up for," I relented finally.

She gasped loudly and threw her arms around me, hugging me tight and swaying us side to side. "Oh my God, Bella! I do! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!" she exclaimed, hugging me even tighter, if possible. "I'm gonna make it up to you times infinity, you'll see."

"Yeah, yeah," I choked, unable to breath. "Get off me."

"Oops, sorry," she said with a giggle, and pulled back, letting me go. "And you were wrong, you know."

"About…?" I questioned.

"You said last night that I wasn't fazed when you ended our friendship. I was. That's why I left. You meant too much to me for me to be able to stay in the same place and have to see you all the time. So, I left."

X-X-X-X

Lifting the top flap of the cake box, I decided to peek inside of it, since I hadn't gotten a good look. The princess cake was sort of smashed, which was probably my fault, considering I'd drunkenly stumbled into Edward yesterday.

How embarrassing.

I hoped the next time I saw him that he'd just forget about seeing me drunk, because I didn't want him to think that was what I was like. It was already humiliating enough that I'd allowed myself to fall into the trap of drinking, but then for the one person who had my head reeling to see it, too, was beyond mortifying.

Not able to contain myself, I grabbed a plate out of the cupboard and took out a knife to cut the cake. But just as I was about to dive in, there was a timid knock on my front door.

I hoped, with everything in me, that that wasn't Alice. I'd basically told her I'd let her make things up to me, and she really took it to heart, but I couldn't handle seeing her more than once a day. Actually, I didn't think I could handle seeing her more than once a week…maybe even a month.

When I approached the door and turned the knob, I was surprised who stood there.

"Hi," Edward greeted, his Adam's apple bobbing slowly and his hand grasping tighter to the plastic bag he held in his hand.

"Hi," I replied, taken aback by his presence. Why was he here? I suddenly felt nervous, and I had no idea why. It seemed it was a natural occurrence around him. "What are you…?"

He cleared his throat. "I left my glasses here last night."

"Oh," I said dejectedly, and raised an eyebrow when his eyes glanced away from me quickly. I opened the door further, letting him inside. "Where would they be exactly?"

As he came inside, I took a second to look over him. His scruff was back now. There had been a few times where he'd shaved, and I had to say that I really couldn't imagine him anymore without the five o'clock shadow.

He glanced around before his eyes fell back onto mine. "I left them on one of your nightstands."

Hmm…I didn't remember seeing them there. "Alright, well, I'll check," I offered, and left him out in the living room.

Entering my bedroom, I took a deep breath, feeling even more unsettled knowing he was in my apartment…again.

Sure enough, on my nightstand, was a glasses case. It was perfectly positioned right in the middle, and I had a brief thought that he might've put it there on purpose. He didn't seem genuine in the least that he left it there on accident. I didn't know how I felt about it, but I had to admit that it gave me an excuse to talk to him about last night….that was if I could find the courage.

I went back into the living room to find Edward looking into the fish tank. Upon my arrival, he gave me a half smile.

"I didn't know you wear glasses," I observed, handing the case to him.

"Normally, I don't, because I wear contacts, but sometimes, my eyes need a rest," he replied.

I pursed my lips and cocked my head to the side, trying to imagine him with glasses on. I was sure he'd look entirely different with them, in a good way. I definitely wasn't opposed to a man wearing glasses.

"Are you trying to think of what I'd look like with them on?" he asked, chuckling.

I smiled. "You caught me."

"Well, next time I don't wear my contacts, I'll let you see them on me," he offered. It almost seemed like he winked, but I was sure I was mistaken.

"Deal," I agreed, trying not to sound too eager as a warmth graced my cheeks. I glanced down at the plastic bag that was still in his hand. "What's that?"

"Oh," he said, as if he remembered he was carrying it, and then handed it to me. "It's a gift for you."

"A gift?" I questioned with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah, open it."

Hesitantly, I opened the bag and took out…a miniature sculpture of a toilet…?

"Um…," I spoke, unsure of what to say.

He, on the other hand, had some sort of knowing smile. "It's for your fish tank," he revealed. "Yesterday, you told me that Max was named after Roman emperors, so I thought, _well, he needs a throne_." I stared at him, and then wrinkled my nose in confusion. He shifted on his feet, his playful mood quickly waning. "Because…a throne is another word for a toilet…" He scratched the back of his neck.

"Oh, right," I said, nodding, and smiled weakly. The gesture was incredibly sweet…I just didn't think I wanted a toilet in my fish tank. "Well, this is great. I'll just…set it right here." I placed it on top of the tank and turned back to him. "Thank you for that."

"It's no problem," he replied.

"And thank you for the cake yesterday. I was just about to have some right before you came."

"I'm glad you liked it. I was hoping I got the right one." He laughed lightly. "But I was sure you said you liked the green one over the pink."

I nodded and tried to hold back a grin. No one had ever gotten me my favorite cake when it wasn't my birthday. "Do you want some, maybe?" I offered.

"No…thank you. I'm actually not into sweet things."

I nodded, frowning. Who didn't like cake? "Oh, okay. Well, why don't you have a seat? Unless, you have somewhere you need to be…" I was hoping he didn't, but I didn't know him too well, and he might have other obligations. I still hadn't figured out if he had a girlfriend or not.

"Nope. Nowhere I need to be," he answered, and made his way to the sofa chair, which was when I suddenly remembered something.

I'd sat in his lap last night…and he'd had an erection.

_Oh my God._

I felt my face becoming warm as I remained standing in the same spot, trying my hardest not to look at his crotch.

"Are you okay?" he asked, sitting down slowly.

I nodded, trying to stop myself from thinking about anything to do with my behavior last night, and joined him by sitting on the couch. "Yes, sorry," I said, and crossed my legs. I noticed Edward's eyes flicker down to them quickly before training on my face. "So, about last night…" I knew I needed to just bite the bullet and apologize for my behavior.

"Yeah?" he prompted.

"I know I acted…well…I wasn't myself, and I'm sorry you had to see that," I started nervously. "I just want you to know that that's abnormal behavior for me."

He cracked a smile and leaned back, bringing his ankle up to rest on his knee. "You mean, you don't normally get drunk?"

"Well, no, not exactly," I admitted. "What I mean is…uh…" Why was this so hard for me to say? I was trying to apologize for throwing myself on him like a cheap hooker, but I couldn't seem to get the words out. "Let's just say that the way I acted isn't me, and I shouldn't have…uh…" _God, spit it out!_

He suddenly laughed, the sound bright and warm. "Are you talking about what happened on the balcony?"

My eyes went wide. "What?" I asked loudly.

His eyebrows shot up, before he began shaking his head fervently. "No, nothing," he backtracked quickly.

"No, wait. What happened on the balcony?" _Please, don't let it be something embarrassing._

He sighed, and then muttered something inaudible to himself. "I was coming over here, when I saw, from down below, you on the balcony. You…" He stopped himself and turned his head to look away. "You flashed the city."

My mouth dropped, and I screwed my eyes shut tightly, moaning in embarrassment. "I can't believe this," I breathed, absolutely disgusted and mortified with myself. I placed my head in my hands, not wanting to see him right now.

Edward had seen my breasts.

I felt the spot next to me dip and a warmth radiate on my side. Slowly, I lifted my head and saw he was sitting next to me. He reached behind me and began rubbing my back soothingly. His gentle touch sent an involuntary shiver throughout me, and my humiliation began to ebb.

"Don't be embarrassed. I didn't really see much," he assured, and then chuckled quietly. "Though, I do have to say, I may prefer you without your shirt than with."

I tensed, my body going rigid at his words. _What did he just say?_

He quickly dropped his hand. "That was a joke," he tried to salvage. "Um, I prefer you with your shirt on only." His eyes went wide and his face flushed slightly. "I mean, I wouldn't mind seeing you without your shirt, either—shit." He quickly shot off the couch as if he was on fire. "That's it. Bella, I like you. There I said it, and now, it's out in the open and…" he cleared his throat and pointed to the door "…and I'm just going to go."

He made it about three steps away from me before I stood up. "Wait!" I shouted. He froze in his spot, and then slowly turned around, obviously embarrassed. I began to laugh, because, honestly, this was all funny. He was nervous; I was nervous. We weren't going to get anywhere with both of us skirting around the subject.

He joined me, chuckling. "I'm sorry," he said.

I approached him, stopping about a foot from where he stood. "Don't apologize. This is all a mess," I said truthfully. This was so not how I imagined things might turn out if I was to see him again.

He nodded in agreement and took a step to me, closing the gap. His penetrating eyes instantly caused my expression to become serious. "I know you said not to apologize, but I'm sorry…because I really need to do this again," he said, before leaning down to press his firm lips to mine.

I sighed in contentment as soon as his mouth covered my own. Wanting to add more pressure to the kiss, I rose up on the balls of my feet and brought my hands up and behind his neck. He parted his lips, gently taking my bottom lip into his hot mouth, while I worked on his top lip. His large hands found my waist, and he barely gripped onto me, treating me as if I'd break.

My heart was hammering in my chest at the knowledge that I was kissing him again. I'd been so caught up in the New Year's kiss that it failed to cross my mind what would happen if we were to do it again. My body was tingling and my head was void of all my usual inane thoughts.

He released my lips and pecked me once before pulling back marginally to look at me. "I've been wanting to do that since New Year's," he admitted.

I was about to reply, when his phone suddenly went off. He let out a loud breath of air and reached in his back pocket for it. Very swiftly, he glanced at it, and then pushed it back into his pocket. I raised an eyebrow, wondering who that was.

And that was when all sorts of fearful thoughts entered my brain.

He had a girlfriend, perhaps, and she was calling to ask him why he wasn't with her. Instead, he was with me…kissing me…and now I was the "other woman."

Oh God….I was going to be sick.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he questioned frantically, no doubt witnessing the chalky white my face was turning.

"I'm okay," I said, trying to muster up a smile. "I hope I'm not keeping you from…" My voice trailed off, wanting him to fill in the blanks.

"No, I have nowhere to be," he answered vaguely.

I sighed, aggravated. I'd have to just get it over with and ask him. There was no other way, since he didn't want to offer me the information freely. "Is your girlfriend upset that you're here?" I asked.

His blank expression morphed, a tiny smile creeping across his face, and he began rubbing my arms up and down, igniting goose bumps all over me. "I don't have a girlfriend."

I frowned, a knot forming in my stomach. "A fiancée…?"

He chuckled and moved his hands down to my hips. "Nope."

I tried to think of any other scenario he might have that would involve him being taken. "Wife?" I asked, my voice but a whisper.

His face fell. "No, Bella. I'm single, and I hope you are, too."

I sighed in relief. "Yes, I'm single."

A crease formed on his brow. He seemed to be deep in thought as his eyes danced across my face. "That night at the grill, when I spilled wine on you, I'm sorry about everything. Mainly, I'm sorry that I upset you by asking about Jasper."

I sighed and looked down. "It's fine. I guess I was just a little sensitive about it all," I admitted, feeling foolish. I'd begun to see how poorly I'd acted toward Edward that night, and pretty much every time afterward.

"If you don't mind me asking, though," he started hesitantly, "I know you dated him, but are you still…?"

He was going to ask me if I was still in love with Jasper. I couldn't answer this at all. My feelings for Jasper were confusing, as of lately. Since Edward had come around, there'd seemed to be a fundamental shift, but nothing had completely died, as far as feelings go. I didn't think I could ever stop loving Jasper. However, I was beginning to think about him less, and I'd started to come to terms with the fact that he was moving on.

"Jasper and I aren't together anymore, and won't be again," I replied, hoping that answered enough for now.

He seemed to accept this answer, which I was grateful for. My body tingled as he rubbed the ends of my hair between his fingers.

"What's going on here, Edward?" I inquired quietly, the silence of the room wafting over us.

He rubbed my cheek with the pad of his thumb, inflaming the skin beneath . "I don't know," he spoke, "but I don't think I can stop."

"I don't know what I'm doing," I admitted sadly.

"Me, neither," he said, and pressed his forehead to mine.

I wasn't sure how this was going to work, but just like him, I didn't think I could stop. I was the moth and Edward was the flame. Maybe Rose was right…maybe it was a connection we had that gravitated us to each other.

Though this was new to me, I knew I had to take it a step at a time, because I wasn't sure if it was right to have feelings for someone while wanting to try something new with someone else. But there was one thing that I was positive about…it was time to move on with my life, and the person whose arms were currently wrapped around me was the first step to accomplishing that.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Edward saw her boobs. That's all I have to say. lol. I know, real mature, Dani. **

**See ya next Tuesday!  
**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	11. He was Patient with Me

**A/N: **

**As always, thanks for the response, recs, and reviews.**

**MPMI was nominated for an **_**Avant Garde**_** award for "Best Edward," which is an absolute honor. Voting starts on the 20****th****. I also just got word today that this fic is up for a **_**Rare Gem**_** Award for "Best Plot." Voting starts on the 18****th****. Links can be found on my profile.**

**Beta is Lindz26.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER ELEVEN  
*HE WAS PATIENT WITH ME***

The next week came quickly in preparation for our annual corporate party. It was going to be held at the Four Seasons a few blocks away from the auction house.

I never looked forward to these, because it involved not only dressing in formal attire, but there was a lot of schmoozing that had to be done with top buyers of ours to keep them interested. I, of course, didn't have to speak with them, but I did have to make sure Jasper remembered who they were and how much money they'd given to the auction house. The more money they'd given, the longer he had to speak with them. It was all very political.

The party was tomorrow, and I'd already bought my dress, which was a simple one-shouldered gold satin gown. I was abundantly aware that there was one difference this year than the other years.

I didn't have a date.

Usually, I'd just go with Jasper, but since we were strictly platonic now, I didn't see that happening. Not to mention, he'd been very distant lately. By distant, I mean he just wasn't around as much. He'd come into the office a little later than he normally would, and then he'd leave fairly early. Very unlike Jasper. We'd barely said hello and goodbye the past week.

Then…there was Edward.

We hadn't exactly moved forward in our…whatever it was we had, and it wasn't anyone's fault but mine. After we'd kissed in my apartment, he'd asked me to dinner. Internally, I'd just about freaked out. I wasn't ready for dinner, dating, and the whole she-bang. I'd done all of that several months ago with Jasper, and I knew how emotionally draining that could be with all the anxiety that went along with it. I just didn't know if I was ready to take that plunge so soon.

Thank God he understood; though, I was certain he was silently bent out of shape over it. We'd agreed to stay in contact through the phone, perhaps go out for coffee sometime and maybe lunch. To me, that wasn't diving in too soon. However, we'd gone out to lunch or coffee a total of…zero times. This, again, was my fault. It wasn't like he hadn't asked; I'd just always have a coincidental excuse.

I was an awful human being.

Why couldn't I just go out to lunch with the guy? He was nice and incredibly sweet. Edward was someone that any girl would love to be with, and he was trying so hard not to push me…yet I was feeling pushed. To be more specific, I felt I was being pushed by myself.

I wanted to move on, but I was having a hard time doing that because I was intensely aware that I _had_ to, otherwise I'd be deemed pathetic. The pressure to change was nerve-wracking; therefore, avoiding it was much easier. So, Edward and I had become good phone buddies.

He'd usually call me at home and we'd talk for about an hour. Occasionally, he'd call me at work, but those conversations would be limited to ten or fifteen minutes. What surprised me was that we actually did have things to talk about. I was finding out a lot about his interests, and he mine. We were pretty much polar opposites, but I had to admit that it was intriguing to find out all the different things that he enjoyed.

So, why couldn't we have those types of conversations face-to-face?

Oh, right…the pressure.

I had to get over this.

"Knock, knock," a sullen voice said. When I looked up from my desk, Rose was shutting my office door behind her as she made her way toward me.

"Hey, back from lunch with Emmett so soon?" I questioned.

She rolled her eyes as she plopped down in the seat opposite me. "We got into a fight," she said.

"Oh no. What happened?"

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Earlier in the week, I invited him to the party, and he said he'd go, but now he can't because he says there's a potential buyer for one of the cars he's been working on, and they want it restored by the end of this weekend."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Rose," I said empathetically.

She huffed angrily. "Well, I'm not. He agreed to be my date and then he just bails? Nuh-uh. So, I told him I was going to invite another man in his place."

"Ouch," I remarked.

"That's what he said!" she exclaimed. "I don't get it. It's not like we're exclusive or anything. We haven't had that whole boyfriend-girlfriend discussion, even though we've been seeing each other for about a month and half now. It's just been sex, and that's really it."

"That's all it's been is sex?" I inquired. "I don't know. It seemed a little more to me than that. You two are pretty close."

"Whatever, you know? Either way, I can do what I want, so I'm taking Royce, and Emmett can just deal with it."

My eyes went wide. "Your ex-boyfriend, Royce?" I questioned, surprised. Rose had gone out with him for six months, until she found another woman's number in his suit jacket. "Are you sure about that?"

She shrugged casually. "Yeah, why not? It's not like I'll ever get back together with him, but he was always good arm candy for these things."

"Well, if you're sure," I said warily.

"Yes, I am," she voiced in finality. "So, what about you?"

I sighed. "I think I'm going alone this year."

"Still avoiding Edward?"

My mouth fell open slightly. "How did you know…?"

"I didn't know, actually, but Edward sure knows. I found out from Emmett. Boys talk."

I groaned and dropped my forehead to the desk. "What am I going to do?" I asked, more to myself. I hadn't expected Edward to get that I was avoiding seeing him. That was just horrible on my part.

"He's a really good guy, Bella."

I lifted my head minutely to look at her. "You think I don't know this? I can't even bring myself to go to coffee with him. All we do is talk on the phone."

"You're scared; it's okay," she assured.

"Scared?" I questioned loudly. "Try terrified. He hates me, doesn't he?" I hated myself, so it would be understandable.

She reached over the desk and grabbed a hold of my hand. "He does _not _hate you. Actually, from what I know, he's really worried. He thinks it's something he did."

Releasing a painful moan, I dropped my forehead back onto the desk again. "See, that just makes me feel even worse," I admitted.

"Don't feel bad, okay? This is absolutely normal that you're scared to start something new with someone completely different. If you want to take things slow, then you have that right, but you also shouldn't lead him on."

I sat up straight with a frown. "Is that what I'm doing?" I asked quietly.

"A little," she answered.

This was severely upsetting. I'd been so angry at Jasper for leading me on, and now I was doing the same thing to Edward. This had to end.

"I don't want to lead him on," I admitted. "How do I fix it?"

She smiled. "Well, for one, you don't need to jump into anything with him. Take it slow. But you also can't only talk on the phone with him." She paused, thinking for a moment. "Why don't you invite him to the party tomorrow? It's a start, and it wouldn't necessarily have to be a date."

It hadn't even crossed my mind to invite him, and she was right, it didn't have to be a date. We could go separately and there'd be lots of people there. I could talk to him face-to-face, and then if I was feeling pressured at all, I could go speak with someone else for a bit without feeling obligated to stay with him. I knew that still sounded awful, but it was the best I could do right now.

"You're right. I think I'm going to do that," I agreed.

"Good," she said, and stood. "I'll leave you to it, then."

My eyes turned to saucers immediately. "I have to ask him _now_?"

She chuckled. "Well, when were you going to ask him? The party is tomorrow. He's going to need a tux."

I wrinkled my nose. "Do you think he even owns a tux?" I questioned. I had a feeling he didn't, considering he enjoyed his plaid shirts so much.

"Probably not, but that's why you need to ask him now, so he can go get one."

I sighed, eyeing the phone nervously. "Right."

"I'll check back with you later," she said, before exiting.

I probably stared at the phone for about six minutes until I finally got the courage to pick it up and dial Edward's number. It was horrible that now I was even afraid to talk to him on the phone, which was all I'd been doing with him for the past week.

On the third ring, he picked up, skyrocketing my nerves to astronomical heights.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Bella," I answered, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Well, this is a surprise," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I was just calling to ask you…" I trailed off, too nervous to even complete the sentence. I picked up my pen, frantically clicking and unclicking it.

"To ask me…?" he prompted patiently.

"To ask you…if…" _Come on, Bella. Just ask him already_. "To ask you if you saw that _Oceans Eleven_ was on TV last night. I saw a little bit of it and it wasn't too bad." _No! You know that's not what you want to ask, you idiot! _

He chuckled. "I didn't see it. You should've called me. We could've watched it together."

"In person?" I asked, stopping my mad pen clicking.

"Well…" He cleared his throat. "Yeah, in person."

Oh God. He was getting fed up of me avoiding him. I just knew it. He didn't sound fed up, but I could just tell. If I were in his position, I'd be fed up.

"That wasn't exactly what I wanted to ask you. I'm sorry," I said hopelessly.

"Oh?" was all he asked in reply.

I sat up a little straighter, gearing myself up. "You see, there's this party tomorrow…"

"The corporate party," he affirmed, stunning me.

Just great. He already knew about it. Could this get any worse? "You know about the corporate party?"

"Emmett told me about it."

Of course. That meant that he'd known I was going to go to it and that I hadn't asked him. "Oh, okay. Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go," I offered.

"Okay," he said quickly, which surprised me. He'd barely even thought twice about it.

"Alright," I said, feeling a little more at ease. "Great. You'll need a tux."

"A tux?" he asked, his tone sounding wary.

"Yeah, do you not have one?" I was sure I already knew the answer to this.

"No, but it's fine. I'll figure it out," he assured, then took a long pause. "So, what time should I pick you up?"

And there it was. The pressure was back in full force. I couldn't just say to him that I didn't want to go together, because that would make me a heartless person, but I knew that if we went together, that would make it a date. I wasn't ready for that.

"Actually, maybe we could just meet up there," I suggested. "I have a lot to take care of before the party." At least that wasn't a lie.

"Oh, okay, no problem," Edward replied, and I was satisfied to hear no traces of rejection in his tone. "So, maybe you can call me later and tell me what time and where it is."

There was a quiet knock on my door. I looked to see Jasper standing in the doorway with a smile. Panic slowly started to set in because I was talking to Edward with Jasper only a few feet away. As far as Jasper was concerned, nothing was going on between me and Edward. I wasn't sure whether I wanted him to know, either.

"Yeah, sure," I said distantly, staring at Jasper.

"Who is it?" Jasper questioned curiously in a whisper.

"Bella? Who was that?" Edward asked, and my eyes went wide. He'd heard Jasper.

"Um, I'll give you a call sometime later and we can discuss it further," I said to him, trying to sound business-like so that Jasper wouldn't see it was a personal call.

"Oh, right," Edward said dejectedly. "Talk to you later."

"Bye." I hung up hurriedly, and then regarded Jasper. "Sorry about that."

"That's fine. I just need a quick favor," he said.

"Of course," I replied. "What is it?"

"Can you call a personal shopper? Someone that can be available today or tomorrow, at the latest."

I arched an eyebrow. "You already have a tux. Remember, you wore it to the Children's Hospital Gala and Auction that you and I went to—" I began to say, before he cut me off.

"No, this isn't for me. It's for my date to the party tomorrow," he admitted.

My throat went dry, and I stopped breathing. "Your date?" I asked, frozen in my chair.

He smiled casually. "Yes, she'll need a dress. Can you book one and then get back to me?"

I dropped my eyes to the desk, not able to look at him. I managed a barely audible "mhm."

"Great," he said enthusiastically, and quickly went back into his own office.

He had a date. _A date?_ Who? Why? _Who?_

I shouldn't have been surprised. It wasn't like we'd gone out in a while, but still…I figured if he'd ever go out with someone again, that'd I'd know who it was, but I didn't. And he wanted to hire a personal shopper for her? How serious was this?

_Okay, wait, Bella. You don't know if he's dating this woman. He could simply be taking her to the party and that's it. _

That was a little more comforting, but still unsettling. He was allowed to move on; after all, he was the one who broke up with me. Perhaps I was just upset that clearly I hadn't yet.

The knowledge of being at the party and seeing his date on his arm was something I wasn't prepared for. However, I was glad Edward would be there to, hopefully, take my mind off that. I had a feeling it wouldn't be too hard.

X-X-X-X

I was flipping out.

The caterer was running late, the music system hadn't been set up yet, the champagne glasses hadn't been filled, and Jasper was nowhere to be found! He wasn't even picking up his cell phone.

"Okay, relax. Take a deep breath—in and out," Rose soothed, rubbing my back as we stood in the middle of the event room.

"There's only an hour left until people start arriving, and everything is a mess!" I exclaimed, ignoring her breathing instructions.

"These things happen, Bella. Don't worry; I saw the caterer arrive about ten minutes ago, and I'll take care of the sound system, okay? I'll also tell Angela to fill the glasses."

I sighed in relief. That was definitely a heavy weight off my shoulders. "What about Jasper? I can't get a hold of him."

"Don't worry about him. It's not like he needs to be here right now. All he has to do is show up to these things. We're the ones that have to do the hard labor," she assured with a laugh. She pulled out a chair from one of the round tables and led me to it. "Just take a seat and relax."

"Okay," I agreed, pouting, and gingerly sat. I wasn't the least bit comfortable, though.

It wasn't just that things were going wrong; it was also the fact that I was incredibly nervous. Edward hadn't called me today, but I was positive he was coming...right? What if he'd changed his mind about it and decided it wasn't worth his time?

It was weird because I'd been fretting about him coming here and me feeling pressured, but then I was also worried that he wouldn't show and I'd be left alone. It was like I couldn't make up my mind.

I'd gone insane.

"I'm going to check on the caterer really quick. Just sit tight and I'll get Angela to bring you some champagne," Rose said, before leaving me alone.

_I think I need the whole bottle. _

Another thing I was worried about was that I hadn't heard from Alice as much. Since she'd decided she wanted to try to win me over, she hadn't even attempted to see me again—not that I was complaining. The less I saw of her, the better. But why would she go through so much trouble to get back in with me, and then not do anything at all?

I knew she was still around, because I'd heard from my mother, who said she'd gone up to Forks to see her parents. So, was she avoiding me or just occupied? Did I care? Probably not.

Spotting Angela, I saw she was making her way over to me with a glass of champagne. "Here you go, Bella," she said, handing it to me.

I took a much needed sip. "Thank you."

"Rose told me it was my duty to get you drunk, but I don't think I should do that," she said warily.

I rolled my eyes. "Ignore Rose. Thanks for this again," I said, dismissing her, to which she nodded and went back to the glasses set out on a long table.

Slowly, I watched as everything began to come together. The caterer laid out the food, Rose found someone to set up the music system, and Angela finished filling the glasses.

When some big name clients began to come in at around seven o'clock, I tried Jasper's cell again, but instantly got his voicemail. On top of that, Edward hadn't arrived yet, increasing my paranoia. I wondered if I'd told him the correct time.

An hour later, the party was in full swing, and I was busy jumping around the room, trying to keep everything together, which wasn't so easy. At least people were having fun. A lot of the rich wives and their husbands were out on the dance floor. I suspected they were already on their way to becoming tipsy.

As I began walking to a table to sit down, Rose came over, grabbed my arm, and dragged me out of the room and into the lobby. She positioned us directly behind a very large plant, peeking through the leaves, before turning to me.

"Rose, what are you doing? I need to stay in there," I urged.

"You've gotta help me get rid of him," she whispered desperately.

"Who?" I asked.

"Royce!" she whisper-yelled. "He keeps talking about us getting back together."

"Tell him no," I said simply.

"You think it would be that easy," she replied sarcastically, and then sighed heavily. "I wish Emmett was here."

Even though she didn't like to admit it too much, she really did like Emmett a lot more than she realized. "Why don't you call him?" I suggested.

"Please…I think that ship has sailed, especially after our fight." Her tough exterior could've fooled anyone, but I was banking that she was quite upset that Royce was here in place of Emmett.

"You never know, though."

"No, it's fine," she said, straightening up. "I'll just go back inside to stupid Royce. Ugh." She arched an eyebrow as she observed me. "Where's Edward?"

I shrugged, trying not to react nervously to the mention of his name. "He's not here yet."

"Well, have you called him?" she questioned.

"No…"

"You called Jasper about a million times, but haven't even called Edward once?" she asked incredulously.

"That's different," I started in explanation. "Jasper has an obligation to be here, considering this is his party, but Edward doesn't."

She raised a scrutinizing eyebrow. "We should go back inside, but I'd call him, okay?" she insisted.

We made our way back in, and Rose instantly went off in the opposite direction of where she knew Royce to be. I flitted around, talking to colleagues as well as some regular bidders. I was complimented on my dress a fair few times, which had me blushing like a fool, and also had me a little unnerved, considering the people complimenting me were all mostly old, married men.

After I checked in with Angela about possibly setting up more champagne glasses, I made my way across the room, but stopped when I felt a jab in my side.

"Hey," a deep voice greeted, causing me to smile. Finally, Edward was here.

I turned around anxiously, expecting to see him, but my eyes roamed over a tall, built man in a formal tux. "Emmett, what are you doing here?" I questioned, my expression falling flat.

He smirked. "Nice to see you, too, Bella," he replied.

I glanced over my shoulder, looking for Rose, but could only spot Royce standing alone near the champagne table. "Sorry. It's nice to see you, of course," I salvaged. "But I thought you wouldn't be here this evening."

"The guy that wants to buy one of my cars changed his mind and said he doesn't need it for another two weeks," he explained, aggravated. "So, here I am."

I tried to muster a smile. "Well, you look nice," I complimented.

He smirked cockily. "_Nice?_" he questioned. "I'm a fucking dreamboat, Bella."

He did look very handsome in his tux, but I wasn't going to tell him that, because his ego was already large enough.

"Okay," I chuckled.

His eyes look past me. "So, where is he?" he asked, his tone guarded.

"Where's who?"

"The idiot who Rose decided to replace me with," he answered with a furrowed brow.

I turned, standing directly next to him, and pointed to the champagne table, where Royce still was. "That's him over there."

"_That's him?_" he inquired incredulously, and then let out a barking laugh. "What a fucking nerd."

Royce wasn't exactly as built as Emmett. He was lean, had dark hair, and wore black thick-rimmed glasses. He was quite good-looking, intelligent, as well as charming, but I still disliked the guy.

"Yes, that's him," I confirmed.

He huffed, crossing his arms as he stared daggers at an oblivious Royce. "What does he do, huh?" Emmett queried.

"He's a Stratigrapher," I answered.

He arched an eyebrow, glaring at me. "A Strati-fucking-what?"

"He's a geoscientist, of sorts. He studies fossil content and the formation of sedimentary rocks to better understand the—"

"Forget I asked," he interrupted in a huff. "How much does he make?"

"I can't really answer that, because I don't know, but Rose has told me he has a two-story house in England, a villa in the Galapagos Islands, and a penthouse here in Seattle, if that's any indication."

His face paled considerably, but just as quickly, he bounced back, appearing smug. "Yeah, well, has he ever right hooked a guy, knocking out three of his teeth?" he questioned with a smirk.

My eyes went wide. "Uh…not that I'm aware of…"

He squared his shoulders. "Well, then, I guess I'll just have to go over there and show him who's the man," he said, and began walking towards Royce with purpose.

"Wait," I called, suddenly remembering something. He stopped to turn around. "Have you heard from Edward, by any chance?"

"Haven't heard from him since yesterday," he answered, and picked up his determined steps again.

I sighed heavily and walked slowly toward the doors that led to the lobby. Maybe I just had to face the fact that he wasn't coming tonight. I'd set myself up and now this was the outcome.

I was starting to realize that maybe I wasn't afraid of moving on to Edward, but perhaps I was fearful of being rejected again, because right now, there was a heavy weight set on my heart over the knowledge that Edward stood me up. This was exactly why I was wary to start a relationship.

As soon as I stepped out of the event room, I was surprised when I saw Alice making her way toward me.

"Bella!" she greeted with a wide grin, and practically skipped over to me.

My eyes turned to saucers, and I remained stiff. "What are you doing here?" I barked.

She stopped directly in front of me with a bounce. "I was invited, silly."

"Not by me," I stated.

She pretended to be sad by pouting. "Yes, and I'm hurt you didn't," she said, and then smiled. "Like my dress?"

Taking in her outfit, I noticed she looked like one of those nineteen-forties pin-up models. She had on a red and black polka-dotted halter dress with red pumps and bright red lipstick to go with the ensemble. Her hair was also styled to match in large waves pinned up. She would stick out like a sore thumb, no doubt.

"This is a formal event, Alice. You can't wear all this," I sniped, frustrated.

"Well, I think I look hot, so whatever," she said, not fazed at all.

"You didn't answer my question. Who invited you?"

Her expression turned somewhat serious. "Okay, now don't be upset, but…it was Jasper," she revealed.

My eyes narrowed, and my hands balled into fists. "You're here with Jasper?" My voice low, seething.

"Yeah, he's just parking his BMW, but he'll be here in a minute," she said, and had the nerve to smile like it wasn't a big deal at all.

"I told you he was off limits," I reminded through gritted teeth, my temper flaring.

I didn't know what was worse—the fact that she knew I didn't want her near Jasper, and she'd come here with him anyway, or the fact that Jasper had invited my _cousin_ without even consulting me first.

"I see your face right now and I can tell you're pissed," she observed.

"You think?" I queried with a bitter chuckle. "After all that talk about wanting to make it up to me, you decided to do exactly what I told you not to?"

"Bella, you haven't even dated him in forever," she whined. "Plus, you're with Edward now."

"I'm not with Edward," I corrected, even more incensed that she would bring him into this discussion.

"Well, whatever. I like Jasper. He's a really cool guy. I know you two dated and were pretty serious, but can't you please be okay with this?"

"No, I won't be okay with this," I said with conviction. "You know why? Because I know you, Alice. You're going to use him for a bit and then you're going to move on when you feel like it. Not only is he my boss, but he's my friend, too."

"And your ex-boyfriend," she added, earning a glare from me. "Alright, alright. If it means that much to you, I'll back off. But I can't tonight. He invited me, and I can't exactly bail, ya know?"

I sighed. "Yeah, okay," I relented. "But you're not going to continue seeing him after tonight, right?"

"Absolutely-fruitly right," she agreed, and threw her arms around me, bringing me into a tight hug.

I tried to push against her. "Stop. Get off me," I ordered.

She giggled, looped her arm through mine, and led us inside. "Oh my God, Bella. We're going to have so much fun tonight!" she exclaimed, but then stopped us as she took in the party. "Whoa—Snoozeville. What's with all the old farts?"

I untangled my arm from hers and narrowed my eyes. "Alice, those are our top bidders as well as present and future clients. You're not going to go near them, you understand me?"

"Bella, I'm hurt. I would never jeopardize your—" She abruptly cut herself off, her attention diverted. "Hey, there's the best friend title stealer," she informed, pointing across the room. "And whoa! She's being molested by Mr. Tall, Beefy, and Yummy."

I looked and saw Emmett kissing Rose very chastely on the lips, before pulling away and taking hold of her hand. I smiled, seeing that Royce was nowhere in sight.

"Yes, you're not going to go near them, either," I instructed.

She huffed. "I think I'm going to go do a little bonding with your _best friend_," she defied, giggled, and scampered off.

"Alice, come back here," I called angrily, but gave up. I reminded myself that I needed to buy a leash for her.

Another thirty minutes passed quickly, especially considering I had to watch Alice like a hawk. She was like a cyclone, a spinning disaster as she single-handedly tried her best to liven up the party to her standards.

I'd caught her spiking the champagne with a flask full of some unknown alcohol that she had up her dress, and I'd also found her speaking with one of our top bidders, Mr. Yamaguchi, who was a widowed, elderly Asian man. He wore a noticeable toupee, and for some unbeknownst reason, she'd taken it upon herself to touch his head. Of course, his toupee fell off, and I had to try to convince him that this wasn't a representation of the auction house.

In the meantime, Jasper had finally showed, but was immediately swept up in conversations. This bode well for me, considering it kept Alice and him apart.

Through it all, I was growing more and more upset. Edward still hadn't shown up. It was already nine-thirty, and the party would end in an hour and a half to two hours. Rejection was brutal, and I'd only been through it twice in my life—once with Jasper, and now with Edward. I knew that once I got home, and my thoughts weren't busy anymore, I'd sink into my own self-misery over it.

I walked over to the champagne table and observed the party. Rose and Emmett were dancing, Jasper was in a discussion with Roberta Cummings and her husband, and Alice was currently talking enthusiastically to Angela, who seemed somewhat scared of her.

As my eyes scanned, they locked on vivid green eyes by the door, causing my heart rate to speed up and my stomach to knot.

He was here.

Making his way over to me with his brow furrowed, I remained glued in my spot. He was wearing a sharp tux and his hair appeared to have been combed, but he hadn't shaved. That didn't seem to bother me, though. It suited him.

When he stopped in front of me, I tried to smile, but I couldn't. I was scared. Now that he was here, the pressure was back, because different emotions were surging inside of me that I couldn't pinpoint.

"You're here," I said quietly, unable to take my eyes off him.

"I'm here," he replied, as if confirming it for himself. "I'm sorry I'm late…I…" His eyes dropped to the ground. I knew then that he hadn't intended on coming tonight.

I nodded. "It's okay," I assured, but still felt rejected. I wanted to ask him if he wasn't going to come because he'd changed his mind about me, but I didn't want to be any more upset than I had been throughout the evening.

"It's not really," he admitted, a look of guilt lining his features, and then glanced around the room. "Am I still invited?"

Without thinking, I placed my hand on his arm. "Of course," I assured, and his intense eyes immediately found mine again, causing me to drop my hand to my side.

He didn't say anything for a long moment, just simply looking at me. I was starting to feel insecure because of it.

"You look…" he started, trailing off, his expression softening exponentially. "You're unbelievably gorgeous."

I blinked a few times, because I'd never heard that word to describe me. Flushing red, I replied to him with a timid "thank you."

He gave me a small smile, and then eyed the champagne table. "Can I take one of those?" he asked, but before I could answer, he grabbed one and practically inhaled the liquid.

"Alice spiked them," I managed to get out, even though it was too late.

He furrowed his brow, and brought down the glass. "You're telling me," he said with a chuckle. "What did she put in here, straight up vodka?"

"I have no idea," I said in a sigh, "but Mr. Yamaguchi got to it, and now look at him." I pointed to the dance floor where he was currently doing some sort of swiveling hip dance with Alice.

Edward laughed, and then turned his attention back to me. "Are you two doing better?" he asked.

Since I'd told him about my past with Alice, I'd also felt open about telling him other things regarding my anger towards her. He never judged me, surprisingly, because, to be honest, I was sure I sounded catty and pathetic.

"We're not, but she hasn't been forcing herself on me as much," I answered.

Alice suddenly grabbed Mr. Yamaguchi's toupee off his head and placed it on her own. He was seemingly drunk, so he hadn't noticed.

"Oh God, I can't watch," I said in desperation, and turned to dig my face into Edward's chest, strong cologne and pine filling my nostrils. His body stiffened, and I heard him inhale loudly. It was then that I realized what I was doing. I slowly pulled back and cleared my throat.

It had felt good, almost natural, to do that, and it scared me. I actually wanted to be natural with Edward, and I was terrified to know what else that entailed.

"Bella," Edward spoke quietly. "Would it be too much to ask if you'd maybe like to dance with me?"

Dancing.

Holding each other.

Really…_really_…close.

Oh God…I was going to be sick.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

I managed to nod. "Mmhm," I hummed, trying to sound together, even though I was splitting apart at the seams. "I need to check on a few things, if that's okay."

"Oh, sure. I'll just be right here," he assured.

I walked away, heading straight for the lobby. When I was out there, I quickly walked into the public restroom. As soon as the door was shut, I rested my back against it, closing my eyes.

What was I doing? I couldn't do this. I'd waited all night for him to arrive, and now he was here, but I couldn't go through with this. The very thought of being with him had me excited and nervous all at the same time.

Tonight, he'd shown up so late, and I'd almost been entirely too close to feeling those same stabs of rejection that I'd gone through with Jasper. I couldn't allow myself to be subjected to that again, because I knew, this time around, it would be worse. The reason it would be worse would be because I was _expecting_ to be rejected. Was there something fundamentally wrong with me where men seemed to not want to be around me?

I needed to leave before anything happened.

There was a loud toilet flush, and one of the bathroom stall doors opened. Rose suddenly walked out, adjusting her elegant red halter gown. When she spotted me against the door, she raised an eyebrow.

"Hi…?" she greeted in questioning curiosity. "Why are you leaning against the door like that?"

I sighed. "No reason," I answered.

"Bull," she snapped, placing her hands on her hips. "What's up?"

I groaned. "Edward's here."

"And…?"

"And…I can't do this, Rose," I finished in desperation.

She walked over to me, crossing her arms over her chest. "Is this about Jasper showing up with Alice?"

Even though I was pretty upset they had come together, it hadn't been at the top of my worry list.

I shook my head. "No, it isn't."

"Does the idea of Edward in a tux make you nervous? Because I saw him and _wow_," she joked, waggling her eyebrows. I merely glared at her, not finding her funny at all at this moment. Her expression became serious. "I can't really help you here, Bella. You have to decide this on your own."

"I know," I spoke in a whisper.

"You're going to go out there, right?" she asked. "I mean, you're not going to bail on him or anything?"

I rolled my eyes. "Rose, I'm not you."

She snorted. "Alright, well, I should go back out there. Emmett's waiting."

I stepped away from the door, allowing her to open it and exit the bathroom.

Was I that unstable emotionally that she actually thought I'd purposely ditch Edward? The worst part was, for a split second, I actually considered leaving—walking out of this hotel and his life. What kind of person had I become? He was here tonight for me, and yet here I was, standing in a bathroom, telling myself I couldn't even give a relationship a shot with him because I was scared of where I'd wind up in the end.

All he'd done was be nice to me, give me time, start a friendship with me, and what had I given him? A couple of pathetic excuses as a means to avoid him.

This couldn't continue. Either I would decide to be with Edward and genuinely give it a try, or I would tell him the truth and that I just couldn't be in a relationship right now.

With a new sense of resolve, I went out into the lobby and walked with determination back into the event room. The party was beginning to settle down now, and a few people were leaving. My eyes roamed the room, looking for the person I needed, but instead, they landed on Jasper and Alice, dancing slowly to the music and…kissing.

Seeing them together brought on a deep twisting in the pit of my stomach. Jasper had moved on…with Alice. And to top it all off, he seemed happy. I was envious, but not for the reason of seeing him with another woman, but for the sole purpose that that wasn't _me _moving on.

It'd been eight months—eight long months—of depression, heartache, and delusion. Eight months of wanting a man who didn't want me, a man who made it clear that he didn't see me in his future…a man that was getting on with his life.

I let my eyes roam the room, landing on Edward. He was standing by the champagne table, in the exact same spot I'd left him. He saw me looking at him from across the room, and he emitted a beautiful, simple, half of a smile.

Here was a guy who had made his interest known and had given me space to deliberate it all. He was so patient, and I was leading him on with a string. He deserved someone that would be willing to put forth the effort to be with him.

I wanted to be that girl.

I _could_ be that girl.

I didn't have to dive in head first, risking my life. All I had to do was give him a shot. I had to put myself out there, taking things a step at a time, and see where it went. My fear of rejection was there, of course, and it may never leave, but if I couldn't try, then how would I ever be happy again?

Edward stayed rooted in his spot as I made the long journey over to him. The closer I got, the more decided I became.

"Bella," he said once I arrived, his face falling into a frown. "I know I was late tonight, and I know that you probably think I'm this idiot who can't do anything right around you, but I promise I'll explain—"

"No," I said softly, interrupting his speech.

"No?" he questioned, dispirited.

I shook my head in affirmation and offered him a small smile. "Is that dance still up for grabs?"

He regarded me closely, and after a moment, held out his hand in silent acceptance. I laced my fingers with his, feeling the hum of his warmth. As we walked out onto the dance floor, it didn't matter that there were other people around or that Alice and Jasper seemed to have disappeared.

It was just Edward and me.

He brought both of my hands up to rest on his broad shoulders, and then placed his own on my hips. We gently began to sway to the slow-tempoed ballad. I laid my head against his chest, allowing myself to be comforted by his unique scent.

_With a smile  
You pull the deepest secrets from my heart  
In all honesty  
I'm speechless and I don't know where to start_

"I've never heard truer words," Edward said softly into my hair.

"What do you mean?" I asked, closing my eyes as my ear pressed to his thrumming heart.

"The song," he answered. "Listen to the lyrics."

_And I can't explain  
But it's something about the way you look tonight  
Takes my breath away  
It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside  
And I can't describe  
But it's something about the way you look tonight  
Takes my breath away  
The way you look tonight_

"That's how I feel," he said, holding me closer.

I didn't reply to him. It wasn't necessary. I just let myself simply be in the moment with a guy that was slowly beginning to capture my heart.

After a while, the music changed to a fast-tempoed song, but we didn't break out of our gentle sway. There was no need; no rush. We were going to take it slow.

* * *

**A/N: **

**The song at the end is "Something About The Way You Look Tonight" by Sir Elton John. You should listen to it, because it's not only beautiful and romantic, but also very in tune with the story.**

**I've been getting a lot of the same questions asked to me lately, and I wish I could just tell you everything, but then I'd be a spoil sport, so I ask that you trust me as an author to have your questions answered within the story when the timing is right. I have everything plotted out. So, trust me, ladies…and some gentleman. **

**The next chapter is pivotal and one of my favorites. Looking forward to sharing it with you all. See ya next Tuesday!**

**Polyvore and song on the profile.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx - for teasers and junk.**


	12. He Told Me

**A/N:  
**

**Voting has started on both the Avant Garde awards and the Rare Gem awards. If you want to vote for MPMI, you can find the links on my profile. Thanks! **

**Beta is Lindz26. Thanks for catching the biggest mistake ever. If you hadn't pointed it out, I wouldn't have even noticed. You're so awesome.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER TWELVE  
*HE TOLD ME***

Today was the day of the auction. Along with the hysteria that came along with organizing these auctions, I was abundantly even more on edge. Edward's collection was going to be on the block, and even though he wanted it sold, it all felt wrong. Regardless, I knew I had to suck up my personal feelings over it and let it to happen.

Over the last two weeks, I'd pretty much gotten the hint that Edward didn't like to talk about anything to do with his collection. We'd been out to coffee four times and lunch at least twice, but every time I tried to bring it up, he would skirt around the subject. He wasn't doing a very good job at masking that he didn't want to discuss it, because it was plain as day. All I knew was that he wanted the collection sold as soon as possible—that was it.

On auction days, which were always on a Sunday, I was allowed to arrive at around ten-thirty. I usually spent those mornings sleeping in, but I couldn't seem to this morning knowing what was coming.

I fiddled with my keys as I came out of the elevator, trying to find the right one that opened my office door. Only a few people were here, including Rose, who said a quick hello from the break room.

Passing Jasper's office, his blinds were closed, as well as his door, but I could hear him in there talking on the phone. I stopped instantly when his conversation caught my attention.

"She's great, Mom. I can't wait for you to see her," he said enthusiastically, and paused. "I'm not really sure when, because I haven't asked her, but if all goes well, maybe next month." I pressed my ear to the door. My brow furrowed in wonderment as to who he was talking about. "Her name's Alice."

I instantly pulled away as if the door had a disease. He wanted to take Alice to meet his _parents_? They'd only known each other for less than a month! Was he out of his mind? He didn't even know her. Had she not told him she couldn't see him anymore?

I was going to kill her.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to mentally calm myself down. I quickly moved to my office, trying to erase my brain of that ridiculous conversation. My office key was getting the brunt of my frustration as I jammed it into the lock and turned.

When I was inside, I flicked on the light switch and walked around my desk. I needed to get the auction attendance list to take with me for when it was time for me to go to the auction room. Sitting down in the swivel chair, I looked through a stack of documents on the desk to find the list.

"Whatcha doing?" a voice asked, accompanying a gentle poke on my ankle.

In fear, I shrieked loudly and pushed the chair all the way back, crashing into the wall. My eyes were immediately drawn to under my desk where Alice was currently sitting in Indian style. "Alice," I growled angrily, out of breath as I clutched my chest.

My office door suddenly flew open, a panicked Jasper hovering in the doorway. "Bella, what is it?" he asked frantically, his eyes flickering around the room.

I glanced down at Alice, who pressed her index finger to her lips, clearly telling me to be quiet. Setting aside the overwhelming urge to wring her neck, I stood to address Jasper.

"I saw a spider," I lied, trying to regulate my breathing.

He sighed, looking a mixture of impatient and relieved. "Bella, I've told you this a thousand times—spiders are just insects. They won't hurt you," he assured. "And no, the average person does not swallow eight spiders a year in their sleep. That's just a myth."

"Alright," I agreed, not really listening to him.

"Alright," he parroted. "Do you have the attendance list?"

"Yes."

"Remember to bring that down to the auction room in twenty minutes. Do you want me to wait for you or can I go ahead?"

"You can go," I answered, shifting on my feet in anxiety.

"Okay, see you in twenty." He shut the door behind him as he left.

When I knew he was fully gone, I pushed the chair to the side and glared down at Alice. "Get out of there," I ordered, and she crawled out slowly. "Are you out of your mind? You can't just come here and camp out. How did you get in here, anyway? The door was locked."

She fully stood and then hopped up on the desk to sit, paying no mind to the fact that she was sitting on my attendance list. "I picked it and then locked it again when I was inside," she answered with a smirk.

I groaned and pulled out the list from under her. "Why were you under my desk?"

She crossed one leg over the other, her black miniskirt hitching and her purple tights stretching. "Well, I was going through your filing cabinet, because I was bored, and then the door started to unlock. I thought it could be Jasper, and since you told me I can't see him anymore, I quickly hid under your desk."

"Oh," I replied. "Well, next time, can you not scare me like that?" _Even though you shouldn't be breaking into my office in the first place._

"You got it," she agreed.

I placed the list on the desk and tried to smooth it out as best as I could, but I couldn't get rid of the creases that had formed when she'd sat on it.

She let out an obnoxious heavy sigh, which I ignored, checking the list to see if all the buyers attending were correctly listed. When she emitted another loud, wispy sigh, I looked up at her with an arched eyebrow.

"What?" I questioned.

"I'm going to listen to you. I won't see Jasper anymore."

"Great," I replied, turning my back to her as I walked over to the filing cabinet to check what damage she'd done. Everything actually looked in order, surprisingly.

She released another sigh.

I shut the cabinet and turned to her, annoyed. "_What_, Alice?"

She hopped off the desk. "I really wish I could see him, though."

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply through my nose. She was going to pester me relentlessly with this. Alice always needed to have her way.

The idea of Alice and Jasper was beyond wrong. They didn't even go together. He was classy, sophisticated, and intelligent, while she was edgy, wild, and flaky. She was the kind of person that went wherever the wind blew, or more specifically, wherever she felt she could benefit. Jasper donated to charities; Alice liked to steal money out of tip jars. They just didn't fit whatsoever.

Aside from that, there was something I noticed. Jasper seemed happier than he'd been since we dated, maybe even more. It partly broke my heart, but it also was nice to see, because at the bottom of it all, I wanted him to be happy. Even though his happiness was coming from my disaster of a cousin, and I didn't want there to be anything between them, I knew that I couldn't actually prevent Jasper from seeing her. So, with a begrudging sigh, I decided to give in.

"Alright, Alice," I started. "I'm going to let this happen." She began to emit a high pitched squeal, until I covered her mouth with my hand. "_But _I know you and what you do with men. I used to do the same myself, if you remember."

She pulled away from my hand, and I dropped it to my side. "I swear I only have good intentions," she assured.

I squinted at her, trying to see if she was telling the truth, but she seemed serious. That didn't mean that I wouldn't keep my eye on her. "Okay," I said, and crossed my arms. "Let me tell you this, though. If you hurt him, that's it for you and me. Your silly plan to win me back will be over."

Finally, after I'd forced Alice to leave the premises, I went down to the auction room where the items were being set up. Most of the buyers had already arrived and were being handed their bidding paddles as they took their seats.

I could see Edward's antiques already set up, and a feeling of sorrow weighed heavily on my heart. If only he would've changed his mind. His collection was better than the others on the block, by far. I should've been happy, considering he had a lot of buyers interested, yet I wasn't.

"Hey, Bella," I heard Rose's distinct voice say behind me. I turned my head just as she stood next to me, holding a cup of hot tea.

"Is that for Mr. Yamaguchi?" I asked. He always demanded his herbal tea before an auction.

"Yes," she said, aggravated. "I swear, if he wasn't one of our highest bidders, I'd shove this so far up his ass. You know what he called me? He called me 'Losearie.' For two years now, he's been asking me to get his damn tea, and he can't even get my name right."

I chuckled, earning me a glare from her.

"Anyway," she said. "I'm a little worried about that cigar box of Edward's. We only have one buyer for it, but I know that sometimes someone will chime in at the last minute."

I frowned and glanced at the cigar box that had been set out on a table next to the auctioneer's podium. It wasn't exactly a stand out piece, but to me, it was beautifully simplistic. Of course, buyers always wanted items that stood out, so I wasn't that surprised. However, this only caused a deeply-rooted sorrow within me. I so wished that cigar box didn't have to be sold. Edward obviously had an affinity with it.

"What's the value?" I questioned.

"Seven hundred dollars," she answered. "I'm not exactly sure why, but Edward set the reserve price at three hundred."

My eyes went wide. "What?" I asked, shocked. "Only three hundred? That's too low."

"That's what I said. I told him to at least set it at five hundred, but he was dead set on having it at three hundred."

This was tearing me apart. I couldn't believe he would have the minimum price so low in retrospect to the value. The piece would surely sell with what he was asking for, but didn't he want as much money out of it as possible? Didn't he care that it went to a buyer that well and truly wanted it, enough to place a high bid for it?

Ten minutes before the auction, I found Jasper and handed him the attendance list he had asked for with all the names checked off of the people that had arrived. We stood in the back, watching as the last of the items were set out.

"Edward's collection is the talk of the auction," Jasper informed me. "My father is going to be pleased when he hears how many buyers showed up solely for his antiques."

"That's great," I said unenthusiastically.

"I haven't spoken to Edward in some time. He must be dating someone," he spoke candidly.

I tried to remain unaffected by what he said. Jasper had no clue that I was seeing Edward, and I wished it to remain that way. "So, you and Alice, huh?" I asked impulsively as a distraction, but soon regretted it as I saw him smile. I wanted him to be happy, but not_ that_ happy.

"She's fantastic," he said in awe. "I've never met anyone like her, ever. I can't believe you never introduced me to her before."

My jaw clenched. "That's great." I was sure my tone reflected my sour mood.

"Aww, Bella," he said, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "You're going to find someone who's perfect for you, you'll see. Perhaps I can set you up with someone. I know Bob from marketing is about to be divorced."

_Bob from marketing?_ He was the office dud! I tried to avoid conversations with him as not to fall asleep. Jasper actually thought I would be interested in someone like _him_? Did he know me at all?

Seemingly offended, I pulled away from him, and his arm dropped to his side. "Actually, I've been dating someone," I blurted out of annoyance. A moment too soon, I realized what I said as I watched Jasper's eyebrows shoot up.

"You have?" he asked, sounding surprised.

I wanted to slap my forehead, but honestly, his offer to set me up angered me. And the expression on his face was almost worth my flub up. "Yes," I answered, and turned my head to look away nonchalantly.

"Huh," was all he said. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "So, is it anyone I would know? Someone in the office?"

This was exactly what I didn't want to have happen—him finding out it was Edward—so I decided to avoid the question. "It's not anyone in the office," I replied.

"Okay, so it wouldn't be anyone I know, either?"

I didn't want to lie to him, but I couldn't avoid that particular question. Thankfully, Rose passed by at that very moment, walking toward the podium where she'd be announcing the items and taking bids.

"Rose, I heard you've been looking for me," I said, and quickly dashed over to her as she continued moving.

"What? No I haven't," she replied, and stopped once we approached the podium.

"I know," I whispered, now that Jasper was out of ear shot. "I needed a reason to get away from Jasper."

"What happened?"

"I may have accidently told him that I was dating someone," I admitted with a frown.

She looked impressed. "Wow. That's ballsy, Bella. Not to mention, about time. Why did you say that?"

I wrinkled my nose. "He was offering to set me up."

She clicked her tongue. "What a dick."

"I know," I agreed.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Hell must've frozen over. Did you just agree that he's a dick?"

I'd never thought of Jasper as a dick—for lack of a better term—but his behavior a moment ago was despicable. Had he always been so…callous?

The auction started, and I took up my position in the back, next to Jasper. Not because I particularly wanted to, but because it was common practice. Thankfully, he didn't try to involve me in any further conversation.

The buyers were all incredibly enthusiastic with their bids, and the turnout was looking great. However, when it got around to Edward's collection, I began to become uneasy. I didn't want any of his antiques to sell, if I had it my way, but that was so very wrong of me to think.

Piece by piece sold. Some of the bids for his items reached close to their true market value, while the rest surpassed. When his cigar box was presented, my stomach turned violently.

"Lot thirteen—a nineteenth century regency cigar box, circa eighteen-twenty," Rose introduced as she pointed to the box. "It's has beautifully figured mahogany with cross-banded and inlaid detail. The interior is lined with cedar wood and the whole is supported on finely detailed brass claw and ball feet…"

As she continued explaining the item, I glanced around, trying to see who looked like they were going to bid on it. Roberta Cummings was leaning into her husband, whispering in his ear. He shook his head sternly, and she frowned. Clearly, she wanted it, but wasn't allowed to have it. She was a snooty, bored, rich housewife, and I doubted she'd appreciate something like that. What on earth would she do with a cigar box?

"I'm going to start the bidding at one hundred dollars," Rose announced.

No one was raising their paddles. With each second that passed, I was feeling better…until…

_Roberta Cummings. _

She lifted her paddle in the air, officially placing a bid.

_Damnit! _

My eyes darted around the room, seeing who else was going to sneak up and place a bid, but no one else was raising their paddles. Rose was going to end the bidding if no one did. Why did it have to be Roberta Cummings, of all people? She didn't care how special the item was. She didn't know how much the seller seemed tortured over the fact that he had to let it go.

But I did. I cared. God, I cared so much about this. I couldn't—I wouldn't let her have it.

In a snap decision, I walked up to the nearest seated buyer—an elderly woman dressed in a white fur coat. "Excuse me," I said quietly, bending down to her. She turned her head to me, regarding me as if I was a piece of gum stuck under her shoe. "May I please borrow your paddle?"

"Going once," Rose warned, causing me to panic.

"No," the old woman said promptly, and turned her head, sticking her nose up.

I wanted to groan. "I just need it for this one bid and then I'll give it back to you," I assured.

"Going twice," Rose spoke loudly.

"Find another," the woman demanded snootily.

God! What was with her attachment to that paddle? "You really don't understand—" I stopped myself when I realized she wasn't going to relent. Desperate times called for desperate measures. "Well, at least I asked politely." I quickly snatched the paddle out of her unsuspecting hand, and she gasped in horror, clearly disgusted with my brazenness. I didn't care, though.

As fast as I could, I held up the paddle.

Rose's eyes found mine, and she furrowed her brow, silent questions ridden on her face.

I pleaded with her mentally to continue.

She sighed, shaking her head. "The bidding continues at one hundred and fifty dollars," she announced.

"Give me back my paddle," the old woman ordered in a hissing whisper.

"No," I barked quietly, and walked to the back, away from her.

Roberta turned in her chair, glared at me, and then raised her paddle.

How I loathed Roberta Cummings.

"Two hundred," Rose said.

I raised my paddle, a raging fire burning within me. I needed to get this. _Please let me get this._

"Two hundred and fifty dollars," Rose said, narrowing her eyes at me, and Roberta quickly lifted her paddle.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I heard Jasper ask sharply behind me.

"Shh," I threw over my shoulder to him. This wasn't the time for questions!

"Three hundred," Rose voiced, and I raised my paddle.

Roberta didn't raise her paddle as she began whispering to her husband. A moment passed, and Rose called the warning. I was starting to really feel great. It was mine. I got it.

Until Roberta raised her damn paddle again!

The bidding continued on, and I could feel myself becoming poorer by the second. I promised myself that when it got to five hundred, I would have to bow out. There was only so much money I could afford to spend before I'd have to offer my arms and legs, too.

"The bid stands at four hundred dollars. Do I have four hundred and fifty?" Rose questioned, and I fanned myself with the paddle. This was getting dangerously close to becoming out of my price range.

"Why are you bidding on Edward's cigar box?" Jasper asked, sounding angry.

Why was it any of his business what I bought? So, I ignored him and raised my paddle.

The bidding finally got to five hundred, due to Roberta's refusal to give in. All the glares I was shooting her seemed to cause her to raise the stupid paddle even higher. It broke my heart that I couldn't go any further. I wanted to desperately, but anything more than five hundred was really pushing it for me. I had bills and rent to pay. I couldn't sacrifice my living just because of a cigar box that I didn't want anyone else to have.

Had I gone mad? I was bidding on a cigar box that I knew I wouldn't use, entirely based on the fact that the guy I liked had memories with it.

I realized then, based on my thoughts and actions, how in deep I was.

I liked Edward.

I really, _really_ liked him.

I hadn't realized just how much until now. I cared for his well-being. More than anything, I wanted to see him happy, because he always seemed so quiet and broken. This cigar box could be something that would make him happy. If possible, I needed to make sure I did whatever I could to ensure no one else got it but me. I didn't care if I had to claw Roberta Cummings for it.

It would be mine.

Biting my thumbnail nervously, I raised my paddle.

Rose's eyes were round like saucers, and she blinked several times. "Five hundred and fifty dollars," she announced warily.

I glanced at Roberta, who was speaking in heated whispers with her husband. He said something to her, and then she turned to look at me ruefully.

_Please don't bid. Please don't bid. _

"Five hundred and fifty dollars," Rose repeated in warning.

I held my breath, watching Roberta as if my life depended on it. She whispered to her husband again, and then suddenly crossed her arms over her chest angrily.

_Oh my God…_

"Sold at five hundred and fifty dollars to number…" Rose started, but trailed off, eyeing me questioningly. I raised my paddle up high, the adrenaline coursing through me. "To number nineteen."

I'd just bought a cigar box.

Either I was out of my mind…or I was falling for Edward.

X-X-X-X

I turned into the familiar gravel driveway, the light drizzle falling onto the windshield. My pulse quickened as I stepped out of my car and walked quickly to the porch to avoid the moisture. I noted that his truck was here, which meant so was he.

After three knocks, I shut the screen door and stepped back. I could hear the television inside turn off and his heavy footsteps approach the door. When he opened, I was greeted with a bright smile.

Without a word, he closed the gap between us to wrap his arms around me in a warm hug. I encircled my arms around his waist and closed my eyes, inhaling his pine scent I was growing accustomed to. His nose was buried in my hair, and I could hear him lightly inhaling. This felt good; it felt right.

He pulled back slightly, his bright eyes seeking mine. It was the same look he'd gotten before he'd kissed me in the past. We hadn't done that in a while, since I'd told him I wanted to take it slow, but the pumping of my heart was telling me that I wanted him to lean in and brush his lips to mine.

He blinked, breaking out of his gaze, and swiftly pecked me on the forehead before releasing me and opening the screen door to let us both in.

_I guess we won't be kissing today_, I thought dejectedly to myself.

"I'm sorry I didn't call. I thought it would be okay if I just surprised you," I said, looking over the mess of beer bottles and clothing thrown in various places.

He instantly went to pick it all up. "I'm glad you came," he replied, flashing me a quick smile. He walked the distance to his bedroom and threw the bundle of clothes carelessly inside before shutting the door and walking into his kitchen. "Is there any specific reason you're here or…?" I wasn't sure if he was asking me because he wanted to know how the auction went or if he wanted me to admit I was here solely to see him.

"Should I have a reason?" I questioned, chuckling.

The corner of his mouth lifted as he began throwing the beer bottles in the trash. "Nope," he said, and glanced at me. "Did you have lunch yet?"

I shook my head. "Just coffee."

He frowned. "Well, I caught some fish in the lake and grilled it. There's enough for two, if you want," he offered.

My face paled, and I suddenly felt like I wanted to purge the contents of my stomach into a toilet, which wasn't a lot.

He regarded me with a concerned expression. "Are you okay? You don't look so good."

"Fish…?" was all I could rasp out, trying desperately to swallow down the warm, disgusting saliva forming in my mouth.

He moved out of the kitchen and walked to me. His arm came around my waist as he led me to his La-Z-Boy. "Here, sit down for a minute," he suggested, and I did so. He squatted down in front of me, his eyes level to mine. "Do you not eat fish?"

Feeling a little better, I felt I was able to address him properly. "I don't like it. Something about it makes me realize that I'm eating an actual animal, and then I'm reminded of Max."

He chuckled, causing me to pout. This wasn't funny to me. I really didn't like the idea of eating a fish. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I have trout, and that's pretty much all I eat lately, but I understand if you don't want it. I'll wait until later to have it. But that leaves nothing to eat."

"I'm not really hungry now," I said. I'd lost any sort of appetite I'd harbored before.

He sighed, taking my hand from my lap and rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. "Is there anything else you don't like to eat?"

"That's it," I answered, feeling bad. I didn't want to stop him from eating fish; I just couldn't eat it myself.

There was a sudden glint in his eyes, and he abruptly stood. "I have something for you," he said, and walked off, down the hall.

A moment later, I heard the back screen door open and shut. I stayed rooted in my seat, wondering what exactly he had for me. I was sure I'd told him my birthday wasn't for another month and a half.

He came back inside after a few minutes, holding a small, white birdhouse with a sloping roof. This was for me…?

"Here," he said with a smile, and held it out for me to take. "I made this for you."

He made it? It was so pretty, not to mention crafted extremely well. "Wow," I said in awe as I took it into my hands to admire. My fingers grazed over the smooth surface. "You did this by yourself?"

"Well," he started with a small chuckle, "I had to look up how to make it, but I had extra wood…and extra paint, so I thought you might like it."

I was surprised, to say the least, so I couldn't muster a response. No one had ever made me something. Jasper would always buy me things that he knew I liked, but he never took the time to make anything as creative as this.

"Um," he said quietly, appearing dispirited. "I understand if you don't like it. I know there's probably nowhere to put it at an apartment."

Oh no. He thought my lack of a response was because I disliked it. "I love it," I assured, standing. "Really, I do. And I think I have the perfect place for it, actually."

He half-smiled at that, causing my heart to swell. "I'll just set it over here," he said, taking the birdhouse from me and placing it on the kitchen counter.

"So, did you want to know about the auction today?" I asked, changing the subject purposely.

He smirked at me and moved my hair out of my face. "I'd like to talk about you, actually," he said flirtatiously, causing me to flush slightly.

Ignoring his obvious switch in topic, I continued, "Well, the turnout today was really—"

"Bella," he interrupted pointedly, his smirk completely gone. "I'd rather not."

I frowned and looked away, feeling dejected. A ringtone filled the cutting silence of the room, and he swiftly took out his cell phone from his back pocket.

"I need to take this," he mumbled, and disappeared hurriedly into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

I was suddenly feeling insecure and unwelcome. His abrasive snapping at me when I brought up the auction was a little off putting. I'd only wanted to tell him that there were a lot of people there that wanted his items. The only other time I'd witnessed this sudden change in mood with Edward was when I'd first come to his house for an appraisal. I understood he didn't like to talk about the collection, but what was so wrong with the antiques to make him not want to discuss them?

And why was that phone always ringing? I'd lost track of the amount of times we'd gone out for lunch or coffee and his phone rang. Most of the time, he'd just glance at the screen, then put it back into his pocket, but there were a few times he'd actually disappeared to answer.

It'd been a little while since Edward had gone into his bedroom, maybe around ten minutes, and I was starting to get worried. I didn't want to be nosy, but I couldn't hear him speaking, so I took quiet steps to his bedroom door and pressed my ear to it. There was a muffled sound of fabric rustling, but no voice.

We'd only started semi-seeing each other for a short while now, and we hadn't even been on a first date, but I wondered if it would be too much if I were to see if he was okay.

I knocked tentatively on the door and waited for a response, but there was none. Taking the initiative, I turned the knob and pushed against the wood. The sight before me caused me a desperate heartache that I'd never felt before.

Edward was sitting on the edge of his unmade bed, his head in his hands. His fingers were fisting his unruly long hair as if in agony.

I walked to him and knelt on the ground between his legs. He didn't move a muscle as I brought my hands up to his fingers and pried them away from his hair. I squeezed his hands soothingly, bringing them down to his lap.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly. I didn't know what had made him like this, but I figured whoever had been on the phone had something to do with it.

"No," he whispered quietly. I almost hadn't heard him.

"I'm a really good listener—"

"No, Bella," he snapped, and wrenched his hands away from mine to take position in his hair again.

I tried not to feel rejected by that—something was clearly bothering him—but I couldn't help it. Perhaps he just needed space from me. "I think I'm going to go," I said, and stood.

His head immediately shot up, sorrow swimming in his green depths. "No, Bella—I'm sorry," he uttered. "I'm so sorry. I just—" He paused, sighing painfully, and stood. "If you stay, I'll explain."

If he wanted me to stay, I'd stay. "Okay," I agreed.

"Thank you," he spoke, appearing relieved. His hand rose slightly, as if he was going to touch me, but then he dropped it and moved around me to the door. "The rain's cleared up now. We can go out back with some drinks, if you want." He stopped in the doorway, looking back at me.

I nodded and followed him out into the living room.

He got a bottle of Corona as well as poured a glass of wine, which surprised me. He said that after that one time I'd been over when he had nothing to drink, he went out and got some wine, just in case. I had to chuckle at that. He didn't have to do that.

He grabbed a blanket off the couch, and then led me down the hall and to his backdoor. His mood seemed much lighter, but I felt he was putting it on for me just so that I would stay. I was putting on a show, too, because I was honestly worried about him.

I took steps with him as he led us down to the wet dock and laid out the blanket right at the end. He held out his hand to help me sit, and then he took up the space next to me, our legs dangling over the edge. I took off my heels and placed them behind me, afraid that they would fall into the water and the fish would get to them.

The sky was beginning to turn a goldish hue as we both drank in comfortable silence. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. His Adam's apple would bob every time he swallowed, the veins becoming defined in his strong neck. When he'd bring the bottle down, he'd wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You really like your beer," I analyzed teasingly, and bumped his shoulder with mine.

He chuckled. "I guess I do," he said, and bumped my shoulder back. "It's a hard habit to break. I've been drinking Corona since I was twenty-one."

"I noticed you like to put a lemon and lime wedge in there."

He took another pull, nodding at the same time, and then set it down between his legs. "Yeah, another habit," he explained. "My dad used to always do it with his Coronas when I was a kid, and I ended up doing the same thing. It makes the beer less bitter." He cast me a sideways glance. "Do you want to try it? Just a sip."

I made an "mmm" sound in hesitation. "I don't know. Beer always tastes bad to me."

"I promise this doesn't taste like normal beer," he assured, and held out the bottle to me.

I sighed, taking it from him. I took an incredibly quick sip from it and handed it back to him. He was right. It didn't taste as bad as most other beers, but the bitterness was still apparent.

"Yeah?" he questioned eagerly.

"No," I answered with a chuckle, and he did the same.

He placed the bottle behind us, joining my glass of wine. "That's okay. At least you tried it."

We went silent again, the mood suddenly dropping. I went back to regarding the sky, waiting for him to speak. It smelled so good out here, like freshwater, pine, and moist grass all mixed into one. Crickets were beginning to chirp, creating a soothing ambience.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he spoke quietly. "I'm not really myself lately."

"It's okay," I said in assurance. "I understand what that's like."

He nodded, looking down at the still water. "I guess I should probably explain…"

"You don't have to," I said, even though I really did want to know what was going on. But since it wasn't my business, I didn't want to pry.

"No, it's not fair to you, especially after earlier, or all those times I left you to answer my phone," he reasoned.

I could tell he was having a hard time with whatever he wanted to divulge, so I set my palm face up on his knee in invitation. He looked down at my hand and then slowly linked his fingers with mine.

"When I was twenty-one, my dad died," he admitted, sadness laced in his tone.

I squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry," I spoke gently. I'd had a feeling something like that had happened, because whenever he'd referred to his father, he'd constantly used the word "was."

"It's okay. It was seven years ago. But my mom didn't take it too well, and we had a bit of a strained relationship after that," he said, and sighed. "For about three years, I didn't speak to her. One day, she contacted me out of the blue and apologized for some things she said to me before we'd stopped talking. Since then, we've been close. But a little while after that, I found out she'd been diagnosed with stage four colon cancer."

"Oh, Edward," I breathed, bringing his hand into my lap. I felt so awful for his situation. I'd never experienced anything like that, but I could imagine how hard it would be if I lost my father and then my mother's health was in terminal danger.

"I did everything I could to help. My dad's will and testament left us both money, and we decided on chemotherapy as a form of treatment. She went through two rounds, and it seemed like it was working, but then she started to get really sick from it, and I couldn't bear to see her suffer. Her doctor recently told us that radiation treatment would be a good alternative for her, but I'd already spent most of my money on the chemo…"

I nodded in understanding. "So, you decided to sell the collection," I finished for him.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "My dad had left me all these old family heirlooms in his will, and for a long time, I couldn't even look at them, but I knew they were valuable. I told my mom I'd sell them, and she had a fit over it. We got into a huge fight and she said that if God was ready to take her, that she'd just have to live with that, and she refused to touch my dad's antiques.

"In the meantime, I moved back here. My mom had picked out this house around the time I was born, and we used to come up every summer. My father left the house to her in his will, but she hasn't been here since his death. I knew how much she loved it, so I thought I could come back here, get it in shape, and move her over permanently so that she can be happy."

"The gazebo...?" I questioned curiously.

"For her. She always said she wanted one," he admitted, causing me to smile sadly. "But recently, an old college buddy told me that Jasper was working at an auction house in the city, and I hadn't seen him since I transferred my senior year of college to go back home. I couldn't get out of my head about selling the collection, and since we used to be friends, I figured he could help me get a good price."

"Wait, you went ahead and sold the collection, even though your mother said she didn't want the antiques sold?" I asked.

"Bella, I had no choice. It was either sell the collection and get her treatment, or…" He broke off, not able to finish.

"I understand," I said reassuringly.

"I didn't realize how much my dad's antiques meant to me until it was too late," he remarked, staring out across the water as the light reflected on it began to grow darker.

Looking at Edward, my heart went out to him. He'd gone through so much in his life with his parents. I had a newfound respect for him. With all the times I'd known Jasper to donate to foundations and contribute to the community, Edward's actions were so much more selfless. He truly was the kindest, most thoughtful person I'd ever known. To think that he'd spent his time and money on helping his mom and trying to make her happy. Someone like him didn't deserve to be as sad as he was.

"Thank you for telling me," I said, and he halfheartedly smiled. I knew that it took a lot out of him to tell me about this, and all I wanted to do was take his hurt away. This reminded me of something. "Stay here. I'll be back." I began to get up, but he stopped me, keeping his hand tightly wrapped around mine.

"I hope I didn't scare you," he spoke, a deep frown on his face.

I shook my head. "No, I just need to get something. I promise I'll be back in a second."

He let go of my hand slowly and turned back to gaze across the water. I trotted toward my car without my heels on, which was a mistake, because once I got to the gravel driveway, my feet took a beating.

After I got what I needed, I made my way back around the house and to the dock, where Edward was still seated. I sat down next to him again, and he slowly turned his head to me. First, his eyes went wide, and then his brow furrowed as he looked up and down between me and the object in my hands.

"Bella…" he spoke in wonderment, trailing off.

"I bought it for myself, but then I realized…" I paused, trying to think of an excuse "…I don't smoke." I handed the cigar box to him, and he took it as if it was the most fragile thing in the world.

"I…" he started, looking exasperated. "You bought this?"

I nodded. "I had to practically fight an old woman for it," I said with a chuckle, trying to erase the tense expression on his face.

"No, Bella," he said in a sigh, and stared down at the box. "Why would you do this?"

I frowned, seeing that he didn't like the fact that I'd gotten it for him. "I saw how upset you were over this, and I couldn't stand to see it go to someone who wouldn't care about it."

He lifted his eyes, staring intensely into mine. "I wish you wouldn't have done this."

"But I did…"

He looked away, not speaking. I could tell he was deep in thought, and I hoped he wasn't too mad at me for buying it. I'd only bought it because I wanted him to be happy…but he wasn't. Why was he so upset?

"How much did you pay?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"It's my right as the buyer to ask that remain confidential," I replied.

"And as the seller, I'll be finding out anyway in seventy-two hours when I go into the auction house and get the money," he countered.

I hadn't thought about that. "Not necessarily. A percentage goes to the auction house, so…"

"Bella, just tell me how much you paid," he demanded softly.

I sighed, knowing I didn't want to keep things from him. "Five hundred fifty," I answered hesitantly.

Edward exhaled loudly, a crease lining on his forehead. "I'll pay you back," he spoke with determination.

I shook my head. I wasn't going to allow him to do that. "No."

"Yes, Bella," he said firmly.

"_No_. I've never done anything like this for anyone in my entire life. So, please, just accept it as a gift."

We remained staring at each other, his expression blank. After a long moment, he placed the cigar box behind us on the dock. I thought he was going to get up, but he took me by surprise when he leaned into me and captured my lips forcefully. I whimpered, instantly shutting my eyes, and laced my fingers through his soft hair. His tongue swept along my bottom lip, and I opened for him.

As our tongues twisted and turned around each other, my entire body alight with a new sense of passion, all I could see or think about right now was Edward. I didn't want that to ever change.

We were really starting to get into it, all my ideas of going slow thrown out the window. His hand came around my back, rubbing over where the clasp of my bra was. I had a brief thought that if he wanted to take off my blouse and bra, I'd probably let him—that was how completely weak I felt as his lips tortured my own deliciously.

He shifted his body, trying to move closer to me without breaking contact, but there was a loud thud on the dock that immediately caused us to pull apart. We both turned our heads behind us and started to laugh. His beer bottle had toppled over with his movement. There was only a small amount of liquid in there, so nothing spilled out.

"You're a bit of a klutz, aren't you?" I teased, grinning ear-to-ear.

He snorted and let go of me to set the bottle upright again. "I'm not, actually. It seems to only be when I'm near you. I always end up making a mess of things."

"Like my office carpet," I joked, and moved his arm to wrap around my shoulder.

He adjusted how he was sitting and began rubbing my arm, igniting goose bumps all over me. "Don't remind me," he grumbled.

We went quiet, looking at the sunset's grand finale. It was truly special up here, and I could see why he wanted his mother here, too. I'd only been up here a few times and I already never wanted to leave.

He brought me closer into his side, and I rested my head against his shoulder, reveling in this intimate moment with him.

"Thanks for my cigar box," he whispered into my hair. "It means so much to me."

Instead of replying, I wrapped my arms around his waist and watched as the night fell over the lake.

* * *

**A/N:  
**

**So, to those of you that have a grudge against Bella, can you tell me if you still dislike her? I mean, come on, the girl did something pretty amazing this chapter. **

**What about Edward? He opened up about very personal things—his mother's illness, why he sold the collection.**

**Note: For those unfamiliar with auctions, the type of auction that Whitlocks Auction House does is called an English auction, which is the most common. The way it works is that the item up for bid will have a value that is appraised by a specialist/auctioneer. The seller may set a reserve price, which is the minimum amount of money that they will accept for the item. In some instances, the bidding will start at the reserve price or it might begin even lower. But if the bidding doesn't reach that number, the item remains unsold. In Edward's case, he set the minimum of the cigar box to $300 and it surpassed that, but the true market value was actually $700. It ended up selling for $550, which is decently close. **

**See you next week!  
**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx  
**


	13. He Bailed on Me

**A/N:**

**I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter as much as I did. Onward…**

**Beta is Lindz26.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN  
*HE BAILED ON ME***

There was a loud knock on my front door, and my eyes shot open into pitch black. I'd been having one of the best sleeps of my life, and now it was _ruined_.

Glancing over at the digital clock on the nightstand, I saw that it was four-thirty in the morning. Who on earth would be knocking on my door this early on a Friday?

The incessant knocking continued, and I threw the duvet off my tired body. Grumbling to myself the entire way, I marched over to the door. I peeked through the peephole and dropped my forehead to the cold wood. _Why me, God? What did I ever do to you?_

"I know you're in there," the most annoying person in the world sang, entirely too chipper for this early.

I wrapped my hands around the knob, turned, and yanked the door open. "What, Alice?" I barked, seething.

"Hi, Bella!" she greeted excitedly with a grin. "You're definitely not a morning person, are you? Nice sex hair, by the way." She shifted past me and walked right into my apartment, holding two large garbage bags filled with God only knew what.

I patted my hair, feeling that it was all over the place and knotted. "Do you realize what time it is?" I asked haughtily, and shut the door.

She set the bags down. "Nah, I don't really go by time. If it's light, I'm awake. If it's dark, I sleep."

I glared at her. "It's dark, Alice," I said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, yeah," she said, and giggled.

I wanted to pound my head against the nearest wall. "Why do you have trash bags in my living room?"

"They're to hold all my stuff," she answered. "See, I was staying with a friend, but he got evicted because his bobcat grew up and was starting to make lots of growling noises and disturb the neighbors. And apparently, it's illegal to have a bobcat as a pet—go figure—but it was the cutest little thing—"

"Alice, get to the point," I snapped, interrupting her tangent.

"Oh, yeah. I'm out of a place to stay now, so I thought I'd crash with you and we can be roomies," she said excitedly, clearly happy with this turnout. I, however, was not. I could barely handle her for a few minutes. How would I be able to tolerate her for days and days and…Oh God—the thought alone was pure torture.

"No," I said dryly, and shuffled tiredly back into my dark bedroom. Just as I was getting under the covers, she came in and flicked on the light, my eyes immediately going blind. "Alice! Turn that off!" I threw the covers over my head, hoping she'd just go away.

"Come on, Bella," she cheered, and I felt the bed bounce up and down repeatedly.

"Stop moving the bed," I ordered.

"Please, please, _please_ let me stay here," she begged. "I just got a bartending gig, so I can pay part of the rent. Plus, I learned how to make _torrijas _when I was in Spain, which is just like French toast, only it's Spanish toast. It's pretty much the only thing I know how to make, but it's _so_ good. I can make it for you every morning!"

I groaned and flipped on my side, tightening the covers over my head. Not even a second later, I felt her body drape over mine and her hot breath near my ear through the blanket. "Alice, if you don't get off me…" I started in warning.

"Please, Bella? It'll be like when we were nine and we used to make forts in your parents' living room, but we'll have to make bigger forts this time," she said. "Plus, it'll give me a chance to get back my best friend title."

I sighed heavily. I really didn't want her here, but she was relentless and would never be quiet about it until I gave in. Plus, if she was serious, having a hand with the rent couldn't hurt. "Alright, fine," I relented, and she squealed, hugging my body. "You can't sleep in here, though."

"Aww, why not? We used to share a bed all the time."

"'_Used to_' being the operative words," I noted. "You can take the couch."

She groaned. "Okay. You're lucky I'm so small," she remarked, and moved off from on top of me.

"I have to get up in a few hours, so can you turn off the light?"

"Okay, roomie," she whispered, and I felt the bed bounce a few more times before it became still and the light went off.

My tired eyes instantly shut, sleep taking me over.

When I woke up next, due to my alarm clock, I went out into the living room, only to find Alice missing, but her trash bags were placed on the couch. I took them and put them in my closet, then got dressed in a black pencil skirt and a baby blue sheer blouse.

My entire morning at work was slow—perhaps because it was a Friday and I was ready to go home. I usually never enjoyed going home from work, but I had plans this evening.

Edward and I were going on our first date.

He'd asked me when I was at his house after I gave him the cigar box, and I agreed. I'd told him that I wouldn't be able to do anything during the week, knowing that I'd have to get up early for work, so he'd suggested today.

We hadn't exactly decided what we were going to do. I wanted it to be his choice, since he'd asked me, but he hadn't taken the initiative. I wasn't quite used to it. With Jasper, he'd set the time and place, and all I had to do was show up. Maybe with Edward, I'd have to come up with something for us.

I thought about what I wanted to do. Someplace elegant would be great, and I did love seeing him get dressed up. It would be perfect and romantic. So, with a phone call to one of my favorite high-end restaurants in town, I was able to set our location. All I'd need to do now was ask Edward what time.

Picking up my office phone, I dialed his cell phone number. As I waited for him to pick up, I glanced at the edge of my desk and smiled. I'd placed the birdhouse he made me right next to my computer where I could see it all the time and think about him. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me.

"I was just thinking about you," he said once he picked up.

"You were?" I asked, a small smile playing at my lips.

"Yep. I know we're meeting tonight, but I don't know what exactly we're doing." He chuckled.

"Oh, don't worry about that," I assured, twisting the telephone cord around my finger. "I was able to book a reservation for two at Canlis. They have the best gnocchi and black truffle dish. They even have steak and seafood, which I know you like. You're going to love—"

"Bella," he interrupted, sounding wary. "I'm sorry, but I don't have enough money for that right now."

I suppose I just assumed that he would have enough money for one evening. Although, I could understand, considering he was trying to pay for his mother's cancer treatment. I should've been more considerate. "That's okay. I'll pay for us," I offered.

"No," he snapped.

I blanched, taken aback by his harsh tone. What was his deal? "Why not?" I asked.

"Because I don't want you to pay," he answered, sounding aggravated.

"Edward, I don't see the big deal in me paying."

"It_ is_ a big deal." His tone was louder than before.

"My goodness…" I breathed. I was gobsmacked over how he was taking this.

He sighed into the phone, causing brief static. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's just…can't we do something—I don't know—something more casual?"

I could do casual, just as long as he didn't yell at me anymore. "Fine," I agreed. "Why don't I come over to your place? I have some pasta here that I've never gotten around to cooking."

We didn't talk long after that. Both of our moods had been deflated. I hoped the date would go better than the conversation about the date.

After work, Rose came over to my apartment. She was going to help me pick out an outfit for when I'd planned on going to the restaurant, but then plans changed, yet she still wanted to choose my attire.

Alice was around, unfortunately, and she kept suggesting I wear some of her clothes.

"I have these lime green fishnet stockings that would look killer on you," she offered, rummaging through her trash bag in my closet.

I gave Rose a look, to which she shrugged. "Um, thanks, Alice…but I think I'm going to stick to the jeans Rose picked out for me," I replied.

"No prob. I'll just wear them myself," she said, pulling out the stockings and smiling.

Rose sat down on my bed and crossed her legs as she watched me observing myself in the full length mirror. "So, Bella, are you gonna sleep with him?" Rose questioned with a smirk.

My eyes went wide and snapped to hers. "No, why would you think that?" I asked. I was trying to go slow with Edward. Sleeping with him would speed up the process. Though, I had to admit, I had day dreamed about it a time or two…or any time I was at work and not doing anything. But just because I was thinking about it, didn't mean I was going to throw myself at him.

"You slept with Jasper on the first date," she remarked.

I gasped and narrowed my eyes at her. "I did not."

"You so did, Bella," she said, and laughed.

Yeah, okay, I had. But we had slept together knowing we were going to be in a serious, committed relationship afterward.

I stole a cautious glance at Alice, who was regarding us closely.

"Oh, it's okay, Bella. I'm not the jealous type," Alice assured with a smirk. "Besides, he's pretty good in bed, isn't he?

I stopped breathing entirely, my face turning crimson red. "_You slept with him?_" I yelled in question, glaring at her.

"Oh, boy," Rose mumbled, fiddling with the corner of one of my pillows.

They'd had sex? They hadn't even known each other that long! Jasper knew next to nothing about her. If he did, I doubted he'd be just throwing himself into bed with her. God!

"Yeah, but you have, too," she said, and giggled. "This is exactly like when we used to share our lunches at school.

My fists clenched, and I began to take a menacing step toward her. Rose quickly shot up and blocked my path, holding my arms so I wouldn't move.

"I want to kill her, Rose," I seethed.

"I know, I know," Rose soothed.

Alice seemed oblivious as she continued rummaging through her trash bags.

"Alice, when did you sleep with him?" I queried, trying to control my temper. I didn't want to know the answer, but at this point, I felt I needed to; otherwise, the question would be lodged in my brain forever.

"Hmm?" she asked distantly, in her own little trash bag world. She took out a pair of rainbow socks, and then glanced up at me. "Oh, that night when we got drunk, I was pretty upset after I'd heard you talking to Edward. I went to a liquor store, and Jasper was there buying wine. We hung out, I drank a little more, and then we did it at his place. " She went back to digging in the bag, like it was no big deal.

I was absolutely livid. She had sex with him barely a week after she came back into my life. How could she do that? How could he do that?

Rose suddenly tugged on my arm, leading me out of my bedroom and into the living room. I allowed her to drag me as I stewed in my own anger.

"I thought you were past this," she spoke, once we were away from Alice.

"It's not about the fact that Jasper and I dated," I explained. "It's that Jasper is a serious relationship kind of guy, and to her, everything is all fun and games."

"Maybe he's not looking for something serious," she reasoned.

I chuckled humorlessly. "I know him, Rose. And I saw the way he looked at her at the corporate party, or how he talked about her at the auction. He wants more from her than just some quick sex."

"Okay, maybe, but so what?" she questioned. "If he's looking for a relationship, and she's not, then obviously, they won't work out."

I groaned. "I don't want them to not work out," I admitted. "I want Alice to grow the hell up and not treat people like they're the party of the evening and then move on."

"Bella," she started, "you're with Edward now. You worry about your relationship and let them worry about theirs. Did you forget you have a date tonight with a guy who really likes you?"

I sighed heavily. "No, I didn't forget."

"Then, let's focus on that, shall we?"

She was right. Whatever was going on with Jasper and Alice, it was their business and not mine. I'd just have to suck it up that I couldn't control Alice, nor could I do the same with Jasper. He was an adult and could do whatever—or whoever—he liked. Edward was where my head was at right now, and that was all I needed to care about. No Jasper, no Alice—just Edward.

X-X-X-X

At seven in the evening, I left my apartment. I'd placed everything I needed in grocery bags to make a simple pasta dish. I'd also gone to the grocery store and secretly bought some pre-made cheesecake. Edward seemed to dislike the idea of me paying for any part of our date, so I wouldn't tell him that I'd spent money. I just wanted things to be perfect.

He hadn't called me all evening, but I assumed it was just because of our conversation earlier. I really hoped that tonight would go well and that there wouldn't be as much tension as there was on the phone. I was going to try my hardest to move past that, because I really was excited to finally have a date with him, even if it wasn't a traditional date like I had been anticipating.

With the groceries in the backseat, I hit the highway, heading straight for Pine Lake. It was completely dark now, and the further north I went, the less lights there were.

I called his phone when I was close by so he could come out and help me take in the bags, but his phone was switched off. When I pulled in, the entire property was dark. My headlights were bright and lit up part of the house as well as the rest of the driveway. One thing that tipped me off as being out of place was that Edward's truck wasn't here. Maybe Emmett had stopped by and taken it to work on.

I left my headlights on so I could see my steps as I walked up to the pitch black house. It seemed like there was absolutely no one inside, because all the lights appeared to be off, but Edward could be napping, perhaps.

After opening the screen door, I knocked twice and waited. Usually, I'd hear his loud footsteps, but this time, there was none. Was he even home? Checking the time on my phone, I saw that it was the correct time that we'd decided on.

Maybe he was out back.

I shut the screen door and walked around the side of the house. The moon was visible from this side, so it clearly illuminated the back porch. Looking around, I couldn't see him, unless he was further down the property…but I certainly wasn't going there, because it was way too dark.

"Edward?" I called out loudly. Hopefully, he heard me. I really didn't like standing out here by myself.

I stepped on the back porch and waited. There was a Corona set out on the banister, which made me smile. It was a quarter full, with his usual lime and lemon wedge in there. But a wave of confusion washed over me as I observed what was next to it—a half-drunken pink Vodka Cruiser. Edward didn't drink those…or did he? I couldn't remember him ever saying he liked them.

I looked out toward the lake and then into the darkness to the side of the house. I didn't think Edward was here if he hadn't heard me call.

_Oh, I know. _

Emmett might've stopped around today to work on the truck, so perhaps this Vodka Cruiser was his.

I took out my cell phone and dialed Rose. When she picked up, she straight away asked about the date, but I didn't answer her questions. I asked her if she could give me Emmett's number, to which she did, and then I promised I would talk to her later.

Dialing Emmett's cell phone number, I waited for him to pick up.

"Emmett McCarty speaking," he greeted formally, his voice deep and powerful.

"Emmett, hi. This is Bella," I replied.

"Well, well. Look who's calling my phone. Let me guess—you want to tell me how long you've had the hots for me, right, Bella?" he joked, laughing.

I rolled my eyes. "Right," I said, brushing him off. "Anyway, have you talked to Edward today, by any chance?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, good," I said in relief. I could feel myself instantly relax. Emmett had been here today. "Do you know where he is right now? I'm at his house, and he's not here."

"No, sorry. He called for like two seconds and asked if we could get together in a couple days to work on the truck, but that's about it."

"He only called?" I asked, confused. "You didn't stop over?"

"No, we haven't hung out in about a week."

I frowned, more bewildered than ever. If they hadn't seen each other in a week, then he definitely hadn't stopped around today and taken the truck or even drank a Vodka Cruiser.

"Does Edward drink Vodka Cruisers?" I questioned, a lump forming in my throat. I so hoped he did.

"No," he chuckled. "Chicks drink Vodka Cruisers, Bella."

I stared at the bottle, my insides twisting. Anyone could draw assumptions with how this looked, but I couldn't do that. I had to give Edward the benefit of the doubt. Plus, I was sure he'd explain once he arrived.

After hanging up with Emmett, I walked back around to the front and decided to sit in my car until he came. The radio kept me company and took my mind off everything for a bit.

Ten minutes turned into twenty, twenty minutes turned to forty, and soon, an hour had passed with no sign from Edward. If possible, it was even darker than before. I tried his cell phone one last time before I had to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't coming.

A part of me wanted to wait for him, just in case—because what if I left and he showed up— but we'd set a time, and I was never one to be late, so neither should he.

Regretfully, I reversed out of the driveway slowly, and then drove back toward the highway. As I drove closer and closer to the city, dread started to overtake me. What if that Vodka Cruiser belonged to a woman? What if they'd had drinks together and been on a date…on the same day that we were supposed to have _our_ first date. That would entail that he was dating someone else, as well. But he'd told me that he wasn't seeing anyone else.

_People lie all the time to get what they want, Bella. _

That was true, but I felt like I'd gotten to know Edward these past few weeks, and he seemed like the type that wouldn't date two people at once. Then again, I was sure Jasper would never break up with me, and I was positive Alice and I would've stayed best friends until our deaths. People were deceptive all the time, and I had a habit of placing my utmost trust in them, only to eventually get burned.

When was it my turn to burn someone? When could I just be happy without complications?

It wasn't like I hadn't dated two guys at once before. Back when I was a teenager, I did that all the time. I'd be with one guy one night, and the next day, there would be another. But that was _so_ long ago. I would never dream of doing that now. Though Edward and I weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, I still expected him to solely date me. Was that so wrong?

If he was dating someone else, why wouldn't he have been straight up with me? What was with all the secrets? He'd kept his mother's health from me, and now he was keeping _this_ from me? Maybe I'd been crazy to start a relationship with him. There was so much I didn't know about him, apart from what he'd told me.

The thing was, I wanted to believe that he wasn't seeing someone else.

Oh, God…That waitress from the bar and grill. I'd never asked him about her, because that whole incident slipped my mind once he'd kissed me at New Year's. He'd seemed ultra chatty and happy with her, almost as if he knew her. She was very pretty, too. Not someone I'd go for if I were a guy—which I wasn't—but I was sure most men would. Maybe that was Edward's type of woman—blonde, thin, girl-next-door looking. Why _wouldn't_ he date her?

I didn't like this way of thinking at all, so I tried to distract myself with music until I got home. When I opened my apartment door, Alice was sitting on the floor of the living room, looking through one of my photo albums.

"Hey, you're back super early," she observed, looking up from the album.

Ignoring the fact that she'd clearly gone through my stuff to get that, I walked straight into the kitchen with the grocery bags, set them down, and began removing item after item. She came in after me and helped me.

"Yeah, he wasn't there," I admitted dully.

"Oh, Bella," she said in a sigh, looking sympathetic. "He bailed on you?"

I shrugged, trying not to display how hurt I was. "Pretty much, I guess."

She clicked her tongue. "Men can be such douches," she spat.

After removing the last item, I balled up the plastic bag and stuffed it inside the bag holder. "I never thought of Edward as that."

"Well, he is if he stood you up." She hopped up on the counter. "He didn't call?"

I shook my head. "We talked earlier today, but he got upset with me because I booked us a reservation at an expensive restaurant. I offered to pay, since he doesn't have the money."

She chuckled lightly. "Bella, you _never _offer to pay when a guy is broke. Guys have this weird hang up about that stuff. They have to always pay and they have to decide everything," she explained. "Do you think he stood you up because of that?"

I furrowed my brow. "I don't think so…I mean, we did end the call on a sour note, but he never said he didn't want to go on a date."

"Hmm," she hummed in thought. "So, you went to his house, and he just wasn't there?"

"I went around the back and saw his usual bottle of beer as well as a Vodka Cruiser, so he must've been there at some point today."

She sighed, shaking her head. "That guy is totally playing you."

"What?" I asked.

"Women drink Vodka Cruisers, Bella. And not just any women. They're those kind that are all prissy and pretty and crap."

Emmett had said women drink Vodka Cruisers, too. I crossed my arms in front of me protectively. "I can't just assume he had a woman over, Alice."

"Why not? It's obvious," she said, bunching up the rest of the plastic bags.

"Because I'd rather him explain," I replied honestly.

She hopped off the counter and placed the bags into the bag holder, then turned to me. "Bella, if he didn't call you and tell you that he wasn't showing up to the date, then chances are that he's boinking someone else on the side."

I brought my hand to my forehead, suddenly feeling hot. "I don't know…" My voice trailed off warily. I didn't want to think of him having sex with someone else. It made my insides spin.

"Man, Rose was right," she muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"She said she worries that you don't see the faults in guys when you like them, that you let them off the hook a lot or something."

I glared at her. "That is _not _true," I said, though I knew, deep down, it could've been partially correct.

"There was a time you used to have guys wrapped around your finger. They'd practically fall to your feet and you'd definitely never take any of their crap, remember?" she queried, but didn't give me a chance to respond. "You need to go back to that, so that you get rid of the hurt face you have on right now."

My head was swirling, so I decided to change the subject. "Anyway, do you want pasta? I conveniently have some," I said, and laughed lightly, trying to make the most out of the situation.

Alice was right, to a point. I did have to admit that I could be a bit deluded by a man who I liked, but that was normal for both men and women. And it wasn't like I was choosing horrible guys to date. Jasper was a good guy, and he may have had his faults, but those faults weren't anything that would've risked our relationship at the time. And Edward, he did have his faults, too, but as I'd gotten to know him, I'd begun to find them really endearing…

Oh God, she was right. When I liked a guy, I completely gave them the benefit of the doubt. Like she said, I needed to go back to being my own person and not let a guy barrel over me. I shouldn't just allow Edward to stand me up and get away with it, and I certainly shouldn't allow him to date other women at the same time. It was either me or her.

From now on, I was going to set some ground rules, and if he couldn't deal with them, then he needed to go…that was if I'd ever hear from him again.

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**A/N:**

**Uh oh…is Edward keeping things from her? Have you ever been stood up on a date? Would love to hear your thoughts on that.**

**If you review, you'll get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**

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	14. He Broke Down on Me

**A/N:**

**I was so shocked to see how many people flipped on a dime and disliked Edward! Very surprising. From Bella's side, it did seem rather cruel, though. **

**It was great to hear some of your personal stories about being stood up. My goodness, people can be so insensitive sometimes. I've never been stood up by a guy, but I have been by my ex-best friend. It was my 18****th**** birthday and she was planning this last minute get together for me and said she'd take care of it all, so I let her. The day came and she fell asleep, never to wake up until the day after my birthday. I sat at home, staring at the wall. lol. That's kind of emo and funny now, but I wasn't laughing then. I think I did the **_**Mean Girls**_** shunning thing for an entire week before I cut off the friendship.**

**Beta is Lindz26. As usual, thank you for your awesome consistency. You're amazing.

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**CHAPTER FOURTEEN  
*HE BROKE DOWN ON ME***

An entire twenty-four hours passed, and I hadn't heard from Edward. I tried to keep my mind off him throughout the day, but it was difficult. Every hour that went by made me just a little more angry. What decent person didn't call? How hard was it to say, "Bella, I stood you up because I don't want to see you anymore"? It would've hurt me beyond reproach, but at least I would've known the deal. At least it would've saved me picking at myself, wondering what it was about me that had men running.

At this point, I was assuming Edward and I were through. It might've been hasty, but we'd seen each other enough for me to know that he always had that damn phone with him. There was no way he wouldn't have had the opportunity to send me at least a quick text message—not that I wanted one from him right now.

It just infuriated me so much because I'd really taken a leap of faith to be with Edward. I was so bent on not dating him, but I went against my better judgment. I fell into the trap. Now, after giving him a shot, I was left alone and even more pathetically depressed than I was before.

Besides fuming over Edward, I spent my Saturday evening with Rose and Alice in my apartment. Rose told me a million stories of bad dates she'd gone on. I wasn't sure if it was to try to make me feel better or to make me see that a lot of guys were just mean. Alice, on the other hand, told me stories of guys she'd dated and then dumped, giving examples on how I should act with men. Somehow, that ended up morphing into a one-sided conversation where she divulged to us all the weird places she'd had sex.

"And then we did it on the roof of this old man's house. He was deaf, so I'm pretty sure he didn't hear us, but he might've seen us when he went to take out the trash. It took him about twenty minutes to get there," Alice finished.

"Wow," Rose said, staring at nothing. "That was…something."

"Oh! And there was this one time—" Alice began to say, before I promptly cut her off.

"Alice," I whined. "We get it. You've had lots of sex."

She giggled. "That's true."

We were lounging out on the couch, Rose and I actually on it, while Alice sat on the floor, facing us. It was starting to get late, and we'd already been talking for three hours.

"Hey, I have an idea," Alice started excitedly. "I'm gonna do your astrology."

I groaned. "Do we have to?" I asked.

Rose sat up straighter and tucked her legs underneath her. "I love this stuff. I'm a Virgo."

"A Virgo…hmm…," Alice said, appearing in thought. "You're very knowledgeable."

"Correct!" Rose exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes disbelievingly. "Anyone could guess that," I remarked.

"Do Emmett. His birthday is July first. What sign is that?" Rose asked, ignoring me completely.

"He's a Cancer. He's very sociable," Alice answered.

"Yes!" Rose shouted, pointing at Alice in amazement.

"Oh, come on," I said in annoyance. "She's seen Emmett enough to know how he is."

"Well, I'm a Gemini, and I'm flighty," Alice said.

"Now_ that_ is accurate," I agreed, smirking. Perhaps this astrology stuff wasn't so bad after all. It seemed to speak the truth.

"What's Bella's sign?" Rose questioned.

"She's March fifteenth," Alice answered promptly, "which makes her a Pisces. They're very romantic."

Rose nodded. "Oh, yeah. Definitely her."

I furrowed my brow. "You remember my birthday?" I questioned Alice.

She chuckled. "Of course I remember your birthday. Why wouldn't I?"

I shrugged. "I figured since we'd gone years without seeing each other that you'd forgotten something like that."

"Bella, I've never forgotten anything about you," she said seriously, and then looked at Rose with a smile. "Okay, who else?"

"Hmm. Let me think," Rose spoke, pursing her lips. "What about Jasper?"

I glanced at Alice expectantly, considering they were dating and she should know this. However, she was giving me the same look. "Alice, you don't know his birthday?"

She shrugged casually. "Nope."

They'd been dating a little longer than Edward and me, and she hadn't bothered to inquire about his birthday? That struck me as odd, but maybe she'd just never gotten around to it.

"Well, it's July twenty-seventh," I stated.

"He's a Leo—very charming," she said with a smirk, causing me to roll my eyes. Anyone could get that from knowing Jasper.

"So true. Jasper is the most charming bastard I've ever met," Rose commented. "Okay, do Edward."

I immediately tensed up. I'd just started not to think about him, and now he'd slipped back in.

"Oh, um…sorry, Bella. I wasn't thinking," Rose apologized.

"No, it's fine," I assured, feigning a smile. "His birthday is April twenty-third."

"Taurus," Alice replied. "He's stubborn to change and sticks to his guns."

"From what I know, that sounds like him," Rose assessed.

I didn't respond, not enjoying this conversation anymore. Alice and Rose continued discussing star signs for a few more minutes, until Rose said she should probably head home and began to gather her things. Alice also got up, saying she had to go to her bartending job. I said goodbye to both of them and then retreated into my bathroom to get ready for bed, since I didn't have anything else to do.

After taking a short shower, I dressed into a matching, light blue, silk camisole and shorts set. I'd finished brushing my teeth and flossing, so I decided I could get into bed now. I wasn't exactly tired enough to sleep, but I knew that if I lay long enough, I'd drift away eventually.

When it was apparent that I couldn't sleep at all, I turned on the light and took one of the books out from my nightstand. It was a book that Jasper had left here ages ago about the Civil War. It was pretty boring, so that would surely put me to sleep.

I only got to the third page before my eyelids were beginning to shut on their own accord, so I closed the book, set it on the nightstand, and then switched off the lamp.

Flipping over onto my side, I snuggled into my cold pillow and let my body relax completely. However, I instantly stiffened when there was a knock on the front door.

Alice.

I was going to kill her.

I'd given her the spare key, so why did she still feel the need to knock? She was clearly insane and enjoyed sabotaging my sleep.

With a loud groan, I flipped off the duvet and stomped over to the door. Even though I knew it was Alice, I stood on my tiptoes and peered through the peephole.

That wasn't Alice.

There was a tall man, standing with his back facing the door. _Oh my God…Edward…_

Edward was here? At my apartment? At this hour? Wait a minute…he couldn't just come here after standing me up. Who did he think he was?

Meanwhile, I was still looking through the peephole at him. He began to turn around, and I quickly moved away from the door. I knew he couldn't see me, but still, you never know with those peepholes.

There was another knock, causing me to sigh. What was I going to do? If I opened the door, I'd be letting a man in that essentially stood me up, but then again, I could possibly get an explanation. Did I even want one?

With long, inward breath through my nose, I stepped up to the door, unlocked it, and then opened slowly. Edward came into view. Wow…he didn't look good. Something was off. His hair was a mess, he was on the verge of having a beard, and his eyes were red and puffy, as if he was tired.

He stared into my eyes, sorrow swimming deep within, and all angry thoughts from before immediately disintegrated into nothing.

"Edward," I breathed, scanning over his disheveled state. "Are you okay?"

His eyes didn't hold any spark in them whatsoever. He just seemed…there. "Can I come in?" he asked, his voice raspy as if it'd been unused.

I grabbed his wrist and led him inside, toward the couch. I asked him if he needed anything to eat or drink, and he merely shook his head. He looked destroyed. I had no clue what to do for him, so I just stood, staring at him and waiting for him to talk.

"I'm sorry for just coming over here," he spoke quietly. "It was a long trip, and I didn't want to go home."

Where exactly had he been? "Where'd you just come from?" I asked curiously.

"Airport," he answered, and leaned back against the couch, shutting his eyes with a sigh. He looked beat.

I went over to the couch and sat at the opposite end, facing him with one leg tucked under me. "Why were you at the airport?"

He rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb. "Just got back from Chicago."

He'd gone home? That would mean that he was most likely seeing his mom…I hoped. "Is everything okay?"

He rubbed a hand over his face and then turned his head to me, opening his distraught eyes. "I don't even know anymore," he said.

I scooted closer to him and gently placed my hand over his. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

He looked away and inhaled deeply. "My aunt called me yesterday and told me that my mom had collapsed and was in the hospital," he revealed.

My face fell. "Oh, God, Edward," I spoke softly. That would explain why he wasn't there on Friday. I felt awful now for assuming he'd stood me up, but really, how could I have known? I still really wished he would've at least called. Then, maybe, I wouldn't have been so worried.

"All I kept thinking on the flight over there was, 'This is it…she's going to die.'"

I tightened my hold on his hand. "She didn't, though…did she?" I asked, holding my breath.

He shook his head. "No, but she's still in the hospital, recovering," he said, and sighed.

He seemed so tormented. I wished with everything that I had that I could take away his pain and make his mother better. It seemed to be eating him up.

"I wish you would've told me," I said. "I was standing outside your house for ages, just hoping you'd call. I figured at first that there had to be an explanation. I'm so sorry about your mom."

His eyebrows pinched together as he looked at me oddly. "Why were you standing outside my house?"

"The date, Edward," I answered, knowing he probably had a lot on his mind right now and wasn't thinking straight.

His expression never changed. For a few moments, he didn't respond, looking lost in his mind. What was going on in there?

Suddenly, his eyes widened and he sat up stiff straight, letting go of my hand. "The date," he breathed, and then his face contorted in agony. "_The date._ Shit." He turned his entire body to me. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I honestly forgot that we had dinner plans."

"It's okay," I assured. I knew his reason, so it was alright with me now.

"No, it's not okay," he said loudly, his eyes wild. "I'm so sorry. I got that call and I just ran. I didn't even remember to take my phone with me, I was so panicked." He brought his hands up to either side of my face, firmly cupping it. "Please don't think that I did that on purpose. I've been wanting a date with you since the first second I laid eyes on you. You have to know I would never do that intentionally."

My heart thrummed alive at his words. I placed my hands over his and rubbed down to his arms. "You don't need to explain," I reassured. "Yeah, I was pretty upset before, but now I know what happened, so I'm not."

He dropped his hands, shaking his head. "You should be," he muttered.

"You went to see your mom. What kind of a person would I be if I continued to be upset over missing one date?"

"It was our _first_ date, Bella. I think you have the right to be upset," he said, and dropped his head into his hands over his knees.

I placed my hand on his back and rubbed in circles to calm him. "Don't beat yourself up over this. I told you I'm alright. Just, next time, call me, okay?"

He lifted his head and stared directly at me. "I will. Of course, I will. That won't happen again."

I gave him a small smile. "Good," I said simply, and leaned into him. To reassure him, I pecked his lips chastely and began to pull back, but his body reacted as he quickly captured my lips more firmly, taking me by surprise.

He wound his fingers into my hair and kept my head in place as his mouth moved with mine, as if he hadn't seen me in years. I was shocked by his sudden onslaught, but wasn't complaining. I'd missed him, even if I'd spent most of my time recently being upset with him, and I'd desperately wanted to kiss him again. There was something so addictive about his lips that had me yearning to taste them over and over.

I was the first one to request entrance with my tongue. He parted his mouth, and we sunk into a full on, heated, wet kiss that had me nearly losing oxygen. I'd never kissed like this. It was so desperate and needy.

His hands slid out of my hair and to my waist, his fingers tightly gripping me. All I could do was grasp onto his shirt as I focused my entire thoughts on the way his tongue was massaging mine. The flickering flame within me was quickly turning into a wild fire, and my whole body scorched with arousal and desire. My nipples were hard and moisture began to collect between my legs where there was a strong ache building.

Suddenly, his hands tightened on my waist, and he lifted me to stand. I allowed the movement, unable to think properly. Our lips stayed fiercely connected as he stood and started to move us backwards.

"Bedroom?" he asked in permission, a breath away from my lips, before covering it again with his own.

"Mhm," I agreed in a daze, unable to speak, since my mouth was currently being deliciously occupied.

Before I knew it, we were in my darkened bedroom, and I was being laid out on my bed. His hard body covered mine, and my legs automatically opened for him. He groaned, adjusting his weight onto his forearms by either side of my head, but all that did was push his prominent erection into my heat.

I released a wispy moan in pleasure and pulled away from his mouth to give him access to my neck, so that I could catch my breath. He immediately took the bait, licking and sucking right at the hollow of my throat. My body was shivering from the sensations of his tongue, and I couldn't resist wrapping my legs around him, grinding directly into his groin.

His lips released my neck and went to my ear. "You're so sexy," he whispered huskily, and placed his hand at the hem of my camisole. His fingers were tickling underneath, igniting goose bumps all over me. I was so turned on right now. He could tear off my shirt, and I'd welcome it.

As if reading my thoughts, his hand moved under my camisole and up the flat plains of my stomach. When his fingers traced along the underside of my breast, I arched my back at the sensation of his delicate touch. His lips were on my neck again, and I had a hard time trying to focus on both his tongue and his fingers. But when his palm rested over my bare breast, my attention instantly went to that.

His fingertips delicately circled around my sensitive nipple, making it harden completely. I imagined what it would feel like to have his talented mouth and tongue encircling it. Not able to control myself, I pushed against his chest and flipped us so that I was straddling him, sitting directly on his solid length.

I could see him in the dark, staring up at me with a mixture of lust and confusion. Wanting to wipe the confusion off his face, I brought my hands down to the hem of my camisole and quickly whipped it off, throwing it somewhere in the room and baring my upper body to him. His eyes momentarily went wide, before he shot up, not wasting a second to mold his lips around a rosy peak.

The tip of his tongue circled repeatedly around my nipple, while my other breast was being roughly groped by his hand.

"That feels good," I breathed, voicing my pleasure so he'd continue. I ran my fingers through his mussed hair, lightly scratching my nails against his scalp. It felt so natural to be this way with him, and I was ready to hand myself over to him at this point.

He sucked on my nipple, gently scraping his teeth against it. My mind was so clouded with him that I couldn't see past this moment, but when he pulled away and tore his shirt over his head, I had a small moment of clarity.

He'd only been talking about his mother several minutes ago, and now he was all over me. Whenever he'd kissed me in the past, it was usually sweet and slow, but his kisses tonight were intense and so unlike him, not that I was against it. I couldn't help but wonder if he was simply acting out of vulnerability. If he was, I was taking advantage of his weakened state. He should be upset and talking about his mother, not nearly having sex with me. And if we continued like this, that was exactly what we'd be doing.

As his hand began to move down my stomach and toward the top of my shorts, I pushed lightly against his firm, naked chest. Our ragged breaths filled the silence of the room as we stopped our activity abruptly.

"What's wrong?" he questioned through pants.

"Nothing's wrong," I assured. "I just think we need to slow down a bit."

He brought a hand to his forehead, ran his fingers through his wild hair, and exhaled loudly. He finally nodded silently.

I moved off him, kneeling at his side. "I'm sorry," I spoke quietly.

He shook his head. "No, Bella. It's good you stopped us. I never imagined our first time together would be like that."

I hadn't minded the intensity of it, and under other circumstances, I might've let it go further, but I could see that he was clearly upset over his mother. Perhaps it was for the best, though. We hadn't been on a first date, and I was trying so very hard to take things slow with him.

We remained in silence for a short amount of time, before he fell back on the bed in exhaustion. I glanced over the edge of the mattress, looking for my camisole, and saw it tossed haphazardly on the floor. I began to climb off, when his hand reached out and grabbed a hold of my wrist.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked, gazing sadly at me.

I couldn't take him like this, so shattered and vulnerable. It broke my heart. "Nowhere," I answered, and lay down, my head resting on his chest.

He ran his fingers through my hair languidly, and I felt a kiss on the top of my head. "Good."

I traced patterns along his bare chest, hoping to comfort him. "Are you feeling better?" I queried.

He sighed. "Anytime I'm with you, I feel better."

I smiled and rubbed the side of my face against him. "Same here."

"I thought about you the entire flight back. As soon as I stepped off the plane, I knew exactly where I was going."

I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest to look at him. "Thank you for coming."

He glanced down at me. "Thank you for letting me in."

I scooted up so that I was eye level with him and planted a sweet, slow kiss against his lips. He responded at the same speed, and then pulled back, his eyes locking with mine.

"Will your mom be okay?" I asked quietly.

He frowned and looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know," he said. "My aunt calls me frequently to keep me up to date with my mother's health, and she told me her doctor found a dark spot on her CT scan where her heart connects to her lungs. After I flew over, he did a biopsy and told me that the cancer had moved to that area. She can't even breathe that well anymore."

My eyes filled with moisture, and I tried to hold it back, wanting to be strong for him, because I could tell that this was hard on him. "What's going to happen?"

"Right now, all they can do is place a stint in the lung so she can breathe properly. They can't even remove the cancer cells there because of the location, and the money I got from the auction is just sitting there because radiation treatment is out of the question now."

I rubbed my hand over his chest. "She's going to be fine," I soothed.

He shook his head. "She's not going to be fine, Bella. Her doctor says she doesn't have very long. And you want to know the worst part? She seems to be okay with it." He chuckled, the sound hollow. "She said that the Lord was ready for her, and it was her time. It's like she doesn't even want to fight." His eyes became glassy as he continued to stare up at the ceiling. "I can't lose her."

I traced my fingers along the stubble of his jaw. "All you can do is keep trying, Edward."

He breathed in deeply, and then closed his eyes. "I'm just so tired…"

It was extremely late, and I didn't think it would be safe for him to drive home, given how exhausted he looked. I couldn't let him leave in this state. "Do you want to stay over?" I asked timidly.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to me. Slowly, he nodded. We both sat up together. I pulled the covers down while he undid the fly on his jeans and pushed it down his legs, revealing a pair of dark gray boxer briefs. I tried not to look at his near naked athletic physique, but couldn't help glancing out my peripheral.

I could feel his eyes on me as I got under the covers. I was suddenly very aware that I was completely topless, so I brought the duvet up to my chest as a shield.

He climbed in next to me, both of us lying on our backs, an inch of space between us. I wanted to rest my head against his chest again, but I didn't want him to think that I expected him to touch me while he slept.

"Goodnight," I whispered, bringing the blanket up a little further.

"Night," he mumbled.

A few minutes passed, and my eyes were wide open. I could hear Edward's slow and steady breaths, so I turned my head to look at him. But when I did, I saw that his head was turned toward me, and he was watching me.

"What is it?" I questioned.

He flipped on his side, facing me. "Can I hold you?"

I smiled discreetly. "Yeah," I answered, and we both moved closer, wrapping our arms around each other. The warmth from his body immediately relaxed me, lulling me into a dreary state.

He sighed contentedly. "Thank you," he spoke softly, and closed his eyes. I thought perhaps he was asleep, until he pressed his lips to my forehead and tightened his hold around me. "I hope my mom will be around long enough to meet you."

X-X-X-X

When I woke up, the room had a soft morning glow, due to the sheer curtains on my window partially shrouding the sun. Edward was still asleep, facing me, but we'd drifted apart sometime during the night. He was on the other side of the bed, one of his bare legs hanging off the edge slightly.

I stared at him, noticing how full his light eyelashes were, or how his entire upper body seemed to expand when he inhaled deeply. His dark tendrils were in disarray, and his facial hair had grown a little more since last night; however, I liked it a lot. It suited who he was.

My cell phone on my nightstand suddenly rang, filling the silence of my bedroom. Edward began to stir because of the noise, so I quickly reached out and grabbed it. Looking at the screen, I saw that it was Jasper. Why was he calling on a Sunday morning?

"Hey, everything okay?" I asked quietly, and sat up, swinging my legs to plant my feet on the ground.

"Hi, Bella. Yes, everything's fine," Jasper answered. "I know it's a Sunday, but my father called and needs to see our profit margins for last year, and he also wants to see the figures for what we made with the last auction. I told him I'd fax everything over as soon as possible, but you're the one that has all that, and I don't have a key to your office with me. So, can you come down? I can fax over what he needs quickly if you help me out, too."

I grabbed my camisole off the ground and attempted to put it on with my cell phone to my ear. "Jasper, it's a Sunday," I noted.

"I know that, but this is important," he said. "Please, Bellsy? I need you here."

I released a puff of air as I tried to make a decision. Whenever Jasper needed me on a weekend for whatever reason, I would usually go, because I never had anything else to do, anyway. Today, however, was different, because Edward was with me. I didn't know how long he was planning on staying, but after last night, I couldn't just abandon him for something that could _easily_ be done tomorrow.

"Jasper, I'm sorry," I said remorsefully, "but today is my day off, and I have plans. I promise that the first thing I'll do Monday morning is fax over everything, okay?"

I could hear him sigh heavily. "Alright," he said, not sounding too happy. "I'll see you Monday, then." He hung up without a further word, and I immediately felt guilty, but I knew I was in the right to say no.

I shut my phone and set it back on the nightstand. I debated whether to get up and shower, but decided against it for now. When I turned my body to get back into bed, I saw that Edward's eyes were open and he was staring at me with a quirked eyebrow.

"Oh, hi—good morning, I mean," I said with a timid smile

He had his toned arms propped under his head. "Morning," he replied, but didn't return the smile.

I cleared my throat, feeling somewhat awkward. "Did you sleep well?"

He merely nodded in response.

"Good," I said, and fiddled with the corner of the duvet. "Well, I guess I'll shower, then…unless you'd like to use the shower before me."

"No, I'm good."

"Okay…well, I guess I'll just go ahead and take one." I moved to get off the bed, but he quickly wrapped his arm around my waist and brought me directly on top of him, our faces inches apart. "What are you doing?" I was out of breath from the abrupt movement.

"Giving you a good morning kiss," he answered, his eyes intense and unyielding.

"Oh, okay," I said breathlessly, and waited anxiously, but he didn't make a move. "When are you going to—?"

I was immediately cut off by his lips slamming into mine in a deep, mind numbing kiss. He flipped us over so that he was on top, and he sucked my bottom lip into his warm mouth. I moaned softly and twisted my fingers into his hair that was all over the place from sleep.

My brain felt like mush, and the only thing I could focus on was the pulsating rhythm of my heart. God, he was a good kisser. He must've had a lot of practice. Ugh…why was I thinking about that now?

My bedroom door suddenly flew open, and Edward and I stopped, turning our heads.

"Morning, Bella!" Alice greeted excitedly. Her eyes went wide in surprise and a grin formed on her face when she saw Edward practically on top of me.

"Alice," I groaned, agitated, and tried to move out from under Edward to sit up. "You can't just barge into my room like that."

"Why, _hello_, Edward," she said huskily with an impish smile, and then giggled. "Nice pecs."

I narrowed my eyes at her and brought the duvet to cover his chest, before I shot off the bed and pushed her out into the living room. "What do you want?" I asked in a harsh whisper.

She smirked. "Well, I wanted to know if you were up to going to a bar, which would've been my treat, but I can see that Sir Hunky Abs and Pecs is occupying your time."

I raised an eyebrow. "It's morning, Alice. You know, sunshine, daylight, eggs, bacon, and _coffee_," I informed.

She rolled her eyes. "Not a real bar; a coffee bar. That's what it's called in Spain."

"Well, here, it's just called a café, and I can't really go anywhere right now."

She sighed. "Fine, I'll just go myself," she said, actually looking upset for once. "And I got my paycheck and can give you half the rent. Where should I put the money?"

I was surprised she'd remembered. It'd crossed my mind a time or two, wondering if she'd pay what she'd agreed on. "Oh, um...the kitchen counter is fine."

Without a word, she walked away.

I closed the door and turned back to Edward, who was sitting against the headboard with a smirk on his face.

"What's that for?" I asked, questioning his amusement.

"Does she always come into your room like that?" he inquired, chuckling.

I groaned and climbed back onto the bed toward him. "Yep. She has no sense of boundary whatsoever. I don't know how many times I've gone into work and she's sitting in my office without me knowing, or I've come home to find her eating my food."

He laughed lightly and maneuvered me to straddle his waist. I could feel he was hard, but me sitting on him like this didn't seem sexual to me. It felt sweetly intimate.

"I think that was the best sleep I've had in a while," he said, rubbing my thighs with his rough hands.

I bent down, hovering my face over his. "Same here." Waking up to him next to me was one of the most comforting experiences I'd ever had.

Silently, he caressed the middle of my back, trailing his fingers in swirling patterns. "I know I forgot about our first date, and I'm sorry—"

"No," I interrupted hastily, lifting my head to look at him. "Edward, I told you—"

He pressed a finger to my lips, cutting me off. "But I'm going to make it up to you today," he finished.

We remained in bed for a good portion of the afternoon, just relaxing, talking about nothing significant. A little later, we finally got up and ready. He said he wanted to have a re-do first date at his house, and I agreed, but only if I got to help with cooking dinner.

We drove out to Pine Lake, talking casually and enjoying the scenery. It was the first time I'd been in his truck, which scared me at first because it was fairly loud and rattled. He asked me if I wanted to drive, and fortunately, I was able to decline, because it was a stick shift, and I didn't know how to work that.

At his house, he asked me if I could hang out for a bit so that he could change into some new clothes. I decided to take the opportunity to go out back for some fresh air. When I stepped onto the back porch, my eyes immediately went to the two bottles he'd left on the banister—the Corona and the Vodka Cruiser. I'd completely forgotten about it. I wasn't sure whether to bring it up or not, but Alice's words were running through my head about me giving men the benefit of the doubt when I liked them, and I didn't want to be that kind of girl, but I also didn't think I could just be blunt about it, not after last night.

I picked them both up and took them inside, deciding if I should show the Vodka Cruiser to Edward or not. If I did, he'd have to explain if he'd had a date over. Even though he'd told me he didn't have a girlfriend, that still didn't mean that he wasn't dating someone on the side. I mean, I wasn't even his girlfriend…was I?

"Hey, Bella," Edward called from inside his room. "We need to go to the grocery store."

I walked into his kitchen and threw away the Corona bottle into the trash can. "Uh, why?" I asked, barely comprehending what he said as I debated whether to just throw away the Vodka Cruiser and let it go.

"Well, I only have fish in the house."

Last night, he'd come to me from the airport. If he had someone else on the side, wouldn't he have gone to them? Or maybe he just actually cared for me more…

With a sigh, I threw away the bottle into the trash.

"Bella?" he asked, coming out of his room dressed in a clean white shirt and jeans.

"Huh?" I questioned.

He smiled, walked up to me, and rubbed my arms. "I said I only have fish."

"Oh," I uttered. I didn't really feel like going to a grocery store, and I didn't want to be a burden to him. "Well, fish it is, then."

He furrowed his brow. "You don't eat fish."

I shrugged. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to have some," I said. Was I really agreeing to eat fish?

He emitted a bright smile. "You know, it only takes fifty minutes to go to the store and back."

"_Only_?" I asked, chuckling. It took me twenty minutes at the most in the city. "No, we'll just stay here."

"Okay," he agreed, putting up his hands in surrender. "I think you're gonna like this fish, anyway."

"Well, bring it on, then," I said with a smirk. "But if I throw up, it's your fault."

He laughed, walking to his fridge. "I'll personally give you a bucket if that happens."

After he'd retrieved the stored fish, he set up a grill out back, which I was unaware he had. I really had nothing to do at all as he let the fish cook, so I stood next to him, looking out onto the water. I felt so content here. If I spent the rest of my life somewhere like this, I truly thought I would be satisfied.

"Can you watch the fish?" he asked. "I'm gonna go get a Corona."

"Oh, I'll get it for you," I offered, and walked back into the house before he could protest.

He seemed to have a whole stock of them in his fridge. How much of this did he drink a day? My goodness…

I removed the cap and found a lemon and lime in his fridge. After cutting two wedges and placing them inside the bottle, I went back out to Edward.

"Here you go," I said, holding it out for him.

He pushed it back to me. "Take a sip."

After rolling my eyes, I took a very small sip, before giving it to him.

"That's my girl," he encouraged, smiling, and took the beer out of my hands as he continued grilling. Once he took a long pull, he handed it back to me to hold.

I had to admit, him calling me his girl did things to me, and because of that, I was pretty sure that I couldn't tolerate sharing him with anyone. I'd have to approach this subtly, though.

"So, uh," I started nervously, "just to let you know…I'm not dating anyone else."

He turned his head to me, quirking a brow. "Oh?" he queried.

"I know there are people out there that do that sort of thing—even I did that in my youth—but I don't believe in doing that anymore. I also don't date guys that date more than one person at the same time," I hinted.

He appeared deep in thought for a long moment, a crease lining his forehead, and then nodded slowly. "Oh…uh, okay," he replied, and brought his hand up to the back of his neck.

"Okay," I said, and turned back to regard the lake. I was sure now that he got the message loud and clear.

"The fish is done," he mumbled.

We decided to eat on the dock. He brought his beer, and I poured myself a glass of wine. Even though he didn't have a table to sit on, I found that I enjoyed sitting on the dock more. It had a great view, anyway.

"So…" he spoke once we were settled with our dishes, "Bellsy, huh?"

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "What?" I asked.

"Jasper calls you Bellsy?" he questioned, looking straight ahead instead of at me.

Oh no. Had he heard my phone conversation with Jasper this morning? "Uh…yes, sometimes."

"Hm," was all he said in reply. Silence took over before he opened his mouth to speak again. "Does he always call you into work on a Sunday?"

Yeah, he'd definitely heard the conversation.

"Occasionally," I said. "Usually, it's important, though."

He chuckled, forked a generous share of fish, and practically shoved it into his mouth. "Interesting," he said, his mouth full as he chewed.

He was acting weird, almost cynical. I'd never witnessed any side of him like this before, but then again, we hadn't known each other too long.

"Why is it interesting?" I inquired curiously, and took a very small bite of my fish. It tasted very smoky rather than fishy. It wasn't bad at all and definitely didn't make me think of Max…much.

"Do you like the trout?" he asked, changing the subject.

I nodded, but I wasn't going to let him drop the topic. "Edward, why is it interesting?"

He sighed, appearing defeated, and then set his plate behind him. "Alright, you wanna know the truth?" he questioned.

I set my plate down right next to his and turned my body slightly to him. "Yes, I would, if you wouldn't mind."

"Okay, you asked," he said, almost in warning. "I don't like him."

I practically blanched, completely taken aback, shocked, and bewildered by his statement. "What?" I asked loudly, wondering if I heard him correctly. He must've been joking.

"I just don't," he said simply.

I shook my head. "No," I disagreed. "That's not possible. How can you say that when you were college friends? Not to mention, you hang out all the time."

"We _were_ friends," he clarified. "Actually, we were best friends back in the day. Now, not so much. We haven't even gotten together since last year. And even then, it was maybe twice at the most."

My eyebrows remained knitted together, trying to take in what he was saying. "I don't understand. I thought you two were close now. You don't get along?"

"It's not that we don't get along. It's just that we have nothing to talk about at all. He's just a completely different person to the Jasper I once knew."

"What do you mean?" I asked sadly.

"Don't get upset, Bella. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have told you."

"No, I'm not upset," I assured, even though I was a bit. "I'm just a little thrown off, that's all. Please, continue."

He sighed. "When we were in college, he was much less…I don't know…uptight, is probably the best word. He's just all about time, money, and structure, while back then, he was the opposite. He always said he wasn't going to let his father's money get to him, and I guess he lied, because look at him now."

"I see," I said, not wanting to comment on that.

"I mean, I'm not saying I'm the same, either…in fact, I'm different, too. I was a lot more active, and definitely more fun to be around," he admitted with a chuckle. "Things happened, and now I've become introverted, wanting to live far from the city. We've both become the opposite of what we were, and that's why we don't fit anymore, I guess." His eyes roamed my face questioningly. "Are you mad?"

I shook my head. "No," I said, and sighed. "To be honest, I think I know what you're talking about. Alice and I used to be really close, and then things happened. Even though she's still the same, I'm not, and that leaves us in two very different places. I just can't relate to her anymore."

He nodded. "Yeah, that's how it is."

"I'm not mad at you, I promise," I assured, and smiled genuinely. "And I won't tell him."

He chuckled and threw an arm around my shoulder. "I don't really care, but I know you won't," he replied. "So, how are you enjoying our re-do first date?"

I grinned and scooted closer to him, letting that show him my answer.

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**A/N: **

**I hope you're not mad at Edward anymore. He really does like Bella and wouldn't just ditch her, even if he'd remembered. It was an emergency and she understood that. **

**So, Edward has made it clear that he doesn't like Jasper. Surprised? I know a lot of you don't like Jasper, but they were friends once upon a time. Plus, he's shown no signs of disliking the guy. Hmmm.**

**The next update will be in two weeks. I want to try to write a one-shot for a contest as well as get ahead in writing for this one, because I'm catching up to my stock-pile. Eek! **

**Make sure to stop by the MPMI forum. There are discussions, and teasers get posted there. The link is on my profile. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx

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_**I'm co-hosting a one-shot contest called Eat Your Heart Out, centered around sexy food fantasies. It just started, so check it out: twifichof . wordpress . com/eat-your-heart-out-contest/**_


	15. He Fought with Me

**A/N: **

**Very different reaction last chapter to what I was expecting. You all had lots of questions, speculations, etc. Things will be answered in their own time. I'm just not an author that likes to conform to the usual route of giving you information. I know, I'm cruel. There's a lot of reading between the lines. I just ask that you continue to trust me that I'm leading you in the right direction.  
**

**Thanks to the MPMI forum girls for all the discussion and theories you've been presenting. And TY for setting up that table for the scaredy cats. It's become my new home. I'd also like to acknowledge and thank those that have been rec'ing my story in their own stories, on blogs, and on Twitter.  
**

**Beta is Lindz26.  


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**CHAPTER FIFTEEN  
*HE FOUGHT WITH ME***

The next few weeks were something close to perfection. Edward and I had been dating for two months now, and things couldn't have been better. I'd somewhat thrown myself into the dating aspect of being in a relationship with him. We went out more times than I could count; sometimes a quick breakfast before work, lunch on my break, but mainly dinner at his place or casually around town.

Even though we hadn't started off with a friendship, he was quickly becoming a great friend. I knew that if we weren't dating, we could easily hang out. He was just so casual and easygoing, nothing like me at all. While being with him, I automatically became more like him.

With the amount of time I was spending at his place, I was learning a lot of different things. He'd taught me how to drive his old truck that I hated before, but now liked. He showed me how to build birdhouses, and by build, I mean him building and me painting it decoratively. As a result, I now had about four different ones sitting on my office desk. He also, knowing my love of John Cusack, found a movie we could both watch together, mixing my blatant crush and his preference of action movies. It turned out that _Con Air_ wasn't so bad…though I did cringe at a quasi-rape scene. Thankfully, Edward had the decency to prep me beforehand and allow me to shield my eyes into his shoulder.

He was still quite tight-lipped about many aspects of his life, but it wasn't like I was pressuring him to tell me. Though I wanted him to share his life journey, I could tell some things were just too difficult to talk about. However, in his own way, without him being aware of it, he would reveal tidbits.

Many times, when we'd walk along the lake at his property, he'd let slip stories about his mother, Elizabeth, and father, Edward Sr. He'd told me how in love they were, and how much he idolized his father as a young boy. I'd also gathered that he knew how to build things because his skills were in carpentry. He never told me what he did for a living before, but I put two and two together that it was another sore subject. I was sure all those details would be shared with me once he was ready.

One thing that I was realizing over my time spent with him was that I wasn't just emotionally attracted to Edward, but I was also sexually attracted to him. It was odd, because when I first met him, I really never thought of him like that. He was just another guy to me. Perhaps it was the fact that I now had feelings for him that had suddenly caused me to think of him sexually.

We hadn't exactly gone further than kissing and perhaps a little groping. We'd had a few intense make out sessions here and there, but I'd always stopped them from going any further—_always_. I was quite sure that if I hadn't, Edward would've continued and gone straight for home.

To be honest, I was infinitely proud of myself. I'd never had any self-control when it came to sex in the past. When I was younger, sex was easy to attain and fun. With Jasper, I'd slept with him on the first date based on our immediate strong attraction to each other. With Edward, however, I wanted to take it slow.

It wasn't that I didn't want to have sex…I did…very much…but I also liked how things were progressing with us. It was sweet, casual, and innocent—I didn't want to ruin that. Edward didn't seem like the type that would sleep with me and then be over with the relationship, but I just wanted to be sure that we were both in the right place before we went all the way. That wasn't to say that I wasn't up for anything in between, but neither of us had initiated something like that.

"Oh really?" I asked, unimpressed.

"That's what I said."

"I think you're wrong."

"I'm just saying that if you put the toilet in the fish tank, he would like it."

The laugh that was begging to break free was getting harder to contain, but I managed. Instead, I allowed myself to smile, considering he couldn't see me. "How on earth would a fish like a toilet? It's not like he can use it."

"You don't know that, Bella," Edward said on the other end, jokingly sounding hurt. "He could get a lot of use out of it."

I chose not to respond, shaking my head. He had no clue that I'd already placed the miniature toilet he'd bought for Max inside the tank. Edward hadn't been over much, if at all, since I was at his house most of the time, so he hadn't seen the addition to the tank. I'd wait until the next time he came over for him to find out.

"Fine, then. Give it back to me," he ordered.

I frowned instantly. "No."

"Aha!" he exclaimed. "You do like it. Admit it."

"Alright, I kind of do," I replied in defeat. I only liked it because it was from him.

He sighed heavily, and there was silence between us. I was sitting in my office, with a stack of follow-up phone calls I needed to make, but was instead on the phone with Edward. It wasn't like me to slack on the job, but it was so easy when he called me on my work line. How could I say no? Well…it would be easy to say no, but it wasn't like I particularly wanted to.

"Come over," he requested, his voice but a breath. "I'll cook you something…anything."

"You know how to cook something other than steak and fish?" I questioned.

"I'll learn," he said with determination. "It can't be that hard, right? You just buy food and mix it."

I chuckled. "Not quite," I said. "Anyway, aren't you sick of me yet? I mean, we just saw each other over the weekend."

"I'm not sick of you…Are you sick of me?"

"Of course not, Edward. I just don't want to force myself on you."

"Force yourself on me, huh?" His tone was low and seductive in a teasing way. "I wouldn't mind that."

"Stop it," I giggled, and spun my chair to face forward. When my eyes lined up with scrutinizing blue ones in the doorway, I froze.

"So, are you coming over?" Edward asked hopefully.

Jasper was simply staring at me as he leaned against the frame of the door. It was clear that he'd heard the conversation. I wasn't sure how much he'd gotten from it, but it was enough for me to know that he wasn't particularly thrilled.

Ignoring Jasper temporarily, I focused on Edward again. "Uh, yeah. What time?" I queried, bouncing my knee.

"Anytime. Just stop over."

"Okay, but I'll call you before."

"Can't wait to see you," he said.

I smiled shyly. "Same here."

After we said goodbye and hung up, I finally regarded Jasper by sitting up straighter in my chair. He took a step inside and shut the door behind him, the busy noise from the main office becoming muffled.

"So," he started, walking up directly to my desk and sitting down across from me, "he's the mystery guy you've been seeing?" When I didn't answer, he quirked an eyebrow. I honestly didn't know what to say. "It's been Edward this entire time?"

I hadn't wanted Jasper to find out, simply because it would make things complicated, but now I knew that it was already complicated even without him knowing. "Yes, I've been dating him," I admitted.

I knew Jasper well enough to understand that when he was silent, he was deliberating something in his head. I used to always know what he was thinking, but now, I didn't.

"How long?" he questioned, his tone flat.

I sighed. "A little while." _Two_ _months and six days from the time of our first kiss, to be exact._

He nodded slowly, staring down at my desk with his arms folded. I could tell was having a hard time understanding this for whatever reason.

"This isn't going to be a problem, is it?" I asked warily.

He looked up at me, confusion ridden on his face. "No, don't be silly." He emitted a small half-smile. "If you're happy, then I'm happy. You're happy, right?"

"Yes, I'm happy," I said truthfully. For once, I was happy. _Me_. It'd taken a long time to get here, but I was finally looking forward to each day of my life, all because of Edward.

He brought an ankle up to rest on his knee. "I have to say, I'm a bit surprised. I wouldn't think you'd go for someone that's…well…"His voice trailed off, his brow furrowing.

"That's what?" I probed defensively. "He's a great guy. He's sweet, kind, and we have a fun time together."

"We're friends, right?" he questioned suddenly. "You and me, I mean. I know things have changed between us lately, but we still care for each other, correct?"

"Of course, Jasper. That won't ever change."

"Then, please, let me speak candidly," he started indignantly. "The Edward I know dates a fair few girls at the same time and doesn't last a couple months in relationships. The longest relationship I knew him in was maybe three months. I'm not saying I was better than him in college, because I also played the field from time to time, but even I had a few long term relationships…"

"Jasper," I sighed, shaking my head. I knew what he was trying to get at, but I believed he was very wrong. Jasper knew Edward when they were just out of their teens. A person had to change at least a little in the length of time they'd been apart.

"Bellsy," he said, warmth radiating from his sharp eyes, "I don't want you to get hurt by him, you understand me? Plus, you don't deserve someone that could potentially play you in _that_ sort of way. I agree, he's a nice guy, but he's not exactly the type to commit."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I could say that same about you getting hurt."

He cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you and Alice, of course." I chuckled humorlessly. "Do you not see how she is? Has she hidden her personality so well from you that you can't see the potential heartache she could dish?"

He sighed, looking aggravated. "So, now, I guess we're talking about me and Alice."

"Yes, we are," I said firmly.

"Look," he began, "I understand the situation might be a little…complicated, considering I'm dating your cousin and, now, you're dating my old college friend..." he paused, seeming to gather himself "…but I don't want things to be different."

"Things _are_ different, Jasper." _They were different the moment you broke up with me._

"Okay," he said in affirmation, as if knowing exactly what I was thinking. "Just be careful, alright?"

I nodded. "I am being careful."

He stood to leave. "Why don't we all go out to dinner tonight? Alice and I were going to this Mexican restaurant on the outskirts of town. You two should come along."

"I don't know…"I said warily. I didn't think that would bode too well with Edward, considering he seemed to dislike Jasper, for a reason I still didn't quite understand.

"Come on," he encouraged with a smile. "It'll be fun. And it would give me an opportunity to catch up with Edward, since I haven't in a while."

Maybe if Edward just talked to Jasper again in a light atmosphere, they could bond. It definitely didn't hurt to try. Though Jasper and I weren't as close as we once were, I still considered him a friend, and it would be uncomfortable if they didn't get along.

"Sure. I'll speak with him."

X-X-X-X

I was sure I'd have a much harder time trying to convince Edward to agree to dinner, but surprisingly, he seemed fairly okay with the idea. Though, he did ask more than once how long we'd be.

Alice was positively ecstatic that we were going out. She would often refer to dinner as solely me and her being there, forgetting that Edward and Jasper would be present, as well. She even planned out how many margaritas we were going to drink throughout the evening, followed by going to clubs. I had to remind her that we would be with our dates, that I'd only be having one margarita, and that there would be no club hopping afterward.

Jasper was already at the restaurant, waiting for Alice and me to arrive. Edward was on his way, and I'd told him I'd wait for him out the front. As soon as we got there, Alice scampered off inside while I stood outside, looking every which way for his vintage truck.

Ten minutes later, Edward's loud, blue beast rolled up and parked at a two hour meter. When he stepped out, I smiled. It hadn't been a day since I saw him last, but I still felt like grinning all the time when he was with me. I supposed it was like this, considering our relationship was still new, but I hoped it never changed. I loved feeling this way about someone again.

"Hi," he greeted with a smile as he stepped toward me.

"Hi," I replied.

"You look great, as always."

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, and he settled his hands on my lower back, his fingers skimming across the top of my jeans sensually. "Thank you," I said, and brought my lips to his.

Our kiss was closed-mouthed, but still heated. The sexual tension was rolling off us in sheets, and our busy mouths fully displayed that. We were most likely making a spectacle of ourselves, yet I didn't particularly care.

He pulled away a fraction and brushed his lips against the corner of my mouth. "I love kissing you," he breathed, sending a tidal wave of lust throughout my body.

I curled his long tendrils around my fingers, biting the inside of my cheek as I geared myself up. "I was thinking you could stay over tonight." I wanted him in my bed, our bodies twisting under the sheets, and maybe moving a step further from just kissing.

He moved back minutely to look at me. "Yeah?" he asked. I could tell he liked the idea, but was cautious. After all, I wasn't being clear what exactly staying over would entail, and to be honest, I didn't know, either.

"Well, I don't have pajamas for you or anything, but I figured, you stayed over once and you managed, so why not again?"

He pulled his lower lip between his teeth, simply looking at me. "Yeah, I'll stay over."

The corners of my mouth tugged up mischievously. "Great," I said, and glanced over my shoulder. "So, I guess we should go in now."

His expression fell, and his nose wrinkled. "Yeah, I guess."

I sighed. "I know you don't like him, but please do this for me," I pleaded.

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" He pecked my forehead chastely and grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the restaurant. "This evening better fly by."

I giggled. "Anxious to get back to my place?"

He glanced at me, a smirk evident on his face. "_Very_."

As soon as we went inside and spotted Jasper and Alice sitting at a booth, Edward released my hand and, instead, wrapped his arm tightly around my shoulder. I found it very hard to walk like that, but I didn't say anything.

Jasper was currently laughing at something Alice was saying when we stepped up. His laugh instantly died as he saw us. He stood and held out his hand to Edward.

"Edward, great to see you," Jasper said seriously.

"Jasper," Edward replied, and let go of me to shake his hand firmly. The handshake lasted a few seconds longer than it probably should've, until they finally let go.

Jasper turned to me and emitted his usual, charming smile. "Bella, good to see you, too. Why don't you both sit?"

I slid into the booth, right across from Alice, who was slurping on a large margarita. She caught my eye, greeting me with a wink as she continued devouring the beverage.

"Well, I'm glad you two could make it. When Bella said you were dating, I have to admit, I was surprised," Jasper spoke.

"I'm not," Alice interjected, swirling the slush around in the glass with her straw. "They're super cute together."

Jasper turned to her, his brow furrowed. "You knew about them and didn't tell me?"

She shrugged casually. "Why would I tell you? Bella's my best friend. When we were kids, we made a pact to take each other's secrets to the grave, and I still stand by that."

I smiled, looking at her in wonder. I should've known she wouldn't have told Jasper about Edward and me. Since I'd known her, she'd always been like my own personal diary. I used to be able to tell her anything. A part of me was sad that I couldn't be like that with her anymore, but the road to forgiveness was a long journey. I had to say, however, that the way things had been progressing with us lately, it wasn't something that I felt was impossible anymore.

"So, how did it all start?" Jasper questioned curiously. He threw an arm around Alice, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. Although I was sure they wouldn't be a match at all, right now, they really seemed to fit.

I felt Edward's hand creeping into my own under the table, and we twined our fingers together. "Well," he started, clearing his throat, "I guess things really began at New Year's. She didn't have anyone to kiss at midnight, so I stepped in." He cast me a genuine smile and squeezed my hand.

Jasper glanced at me with a raised eyebrow. I knew what he was thinking. He was supposed to kiss me at midnight, but Edward had instead. I could see him opening his mouth to interject his side, but I quickly intervened.

"And then from there, everything just sort of happened," I finished for Edward.

"Have you guys done it yet?" Alice asked bluntly.

"Alice!" I scolded.

Jasper laughed heartily and pecked her on the top of her head. I glanced at Edward, who was staring down at the table with a sour look on his face. In the meantime, the waitress came around and asked us if we wanted anything.

"Two Coronas," I told her. "And can you bring two lime and lemon wedges, as well?" Edward looked at me inquiringly, and I gave him a sheepish grin. "What? I'm in the mood."

"I like it," he said, and kissed my cheek twice. The first one was quick, but the second lingered a little more.

"Heyyy," Alice whined sadly. "We were supposed to have margaritas."

"Next time," I assured.

"Bella drinking beer—that's a first," Jasper said with a chuckle.

"Well, Edward does this thing that makes it not taste as bitter," I said.

"Yeah, the lime and lemon thing. He's been doing that since college, right, Edward?" Jasper questioned with some sort of knowing smirk.

Edward chuckled, but I could tell it was forced. "Yeah, since college."

Our drinks both came and we clinked our bottles together before taking a sip. I set mine down and scooted closer to Edward, getting comfortable. I clasped both hands around his that were resting on my lap. His thumb rubbed against my skin slowly, as if memorizing it.

"Remember that time you let that girl do body shots off you in Cancun during spring break?" Jasper asked, and laughed. Both Edward and I stiffened. "That was a fun trip."

Edward cleared his throat, took a pull of his beer, and then set it down. "Long time ago," he replied tersely.

"Seems like just yesterday, though," Jasper said reverently. "Oh, remember that time we dared you to pants Big Bottom Autumn?"

"What?" I asked incredulously, and regarded Edward, whose jaw was clenched shut tightly. "Who's Big Bottom Autumn?"

"She was this really overweight girl in one of our classes when we were freshmen," Jasper answered. "Everyone made fun of her. Poor girl."

I blinked a few times and frowned. That sounded awful. I was, honestly, quite surprised Edward would do something like that, something so insensitive. That girl was probably traumatized over it to this day.

"Hey, Jasper," Edward spoke, a touch of venom in his tone. "Remember that time you had enough dating the hot foreign exchange student because you said the sex was lousy, so you bought her a sex guide and gave it to her when you dumped her?"

"What?" Alice and I both questioned loudly. My mouth practically dropped down to the table as I stared at Jasper in a mixture of anger and disbelief.

Jasper unraveled his arm from around Alice and sat up straighter, a blank expression on his face as he stared at Edward. "Not one of my finer moments, and definitely something I regret. However, I was very young and hotheaded."

The table went silent as Edward and Jasper continued their endless stare at each other. What was going on? It was almost like they were having some sort of pissing contest. Edward's hand tightened around mine under the table, and I knew then that something was really up.

Jasper's cell phone ringtone filled the silence, and he took his phone out of his jeans. "This is my dad. I need to take it," he muttered, and scooted out of the booth to stand.

Once he was gone, I leaned into Edward's ear. "What were you doing?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he answered in a murmur.

"You guys were mean when you were younger," Alice observed. "Bella and I were pretty wild, but we never did stuff like that. Well, unless you count that time we vandalized Mike Newton's Toyota, but he was a pervy jackass and deserved it."

"Big Bottom Autumn, Edward?" I questioned him with a frown.

He sighed, not looking at me. "Like I said, it was a long time ago. There are a lot of things I did back then that I wouldn't do now."

I shook my head and released his hand. He looked at me, his eyes searching mine, for what, I didn't know. "If Big Bottom—I mean, Autumn was here now, would you apologize for humiliating her like that?"

"Of course I would," he said with emotion. "In a heartbeat."

I half-smiled and patted his knee. He took hold of my hand again and brought it up to his lips, kissing my palm and then my knuckles. His eyes never left mine, making the action seem much more intimate than it probably looked. My heart was thrumming for him, and I now wished our outing would be over just as much as he did, I was sure.

Unfortunately, my bladder suddenly decided to protest.

"Okay, I need to go to the bathroom. Can I get out?" I inquired.

He nodded and shifted out of the booth, helping me stand. We exchanged a lingering look before I made my way to the bathroom at the other end of the small restaurant. The night so far had been tense. I knew that Edward didn't like Jasper, but he could pretend to at least like him. He couldn't even do that.

When I was finished, I walked out of the bathroom and toward the table again. I stopped when Jasper came into the front entrance and motioned for me to go over to him. Glancing to the table, I saw Alice was chatting up Edward, so I made my way to Jasper.

"Hey," I said to him. "Is everything okay with your father?"

"Yes," he answered. "But can you book me a flight to New York tomorrow?"

"Sure," I agreed. "Well, we should probably get back to our table." I began to turn around, until he spoke.

"Wait, Bella. Just one more moment," he requested. "Is something wrong with Edward? He's sort of acting differently."

"Oh, um," I started, caught off guard. "He's fine…why do you ask?"

"I don't know…" he said. "Back there, it kind of seemed like he wasn't really enjoying himself. Did I say something to offend him?"

I offered him a tight smile. I didn't want him to know Edward disliked him. "I'm sure he's okay."

Jasper seemed content with that, so he said he had to make a quick phone call and that he'd see me at the table. I walked back to Alice speaking quietly to Edward. She stopped as I approached, smiling sheepishly at me. I hoped she hadn't badgered him by talking nonsensically, like she usually did. Edward scooted down the seat of the booth, and I sat next to him. I leaned into him and kissed his cheek, letting my lips hover there purposely.

"Be nice to him, okay?" I asked in a pleading whisper. "He can tell something's wrong with you."

He merely shrugged, looking as if he could care less. I pulled back and shot him a glare, which seemed to soften him. He finally nodded and took a swig of his beer.

"You two are like one of those old, married couples that can read each other's thoughts," Alice said, eyeing us with a bright smile.

Edward's eyebrows shot up, and he shifted in his seat. His knee began bouncing under the table, vibrating the booth.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Mm-hm," he hummed as he took a very long pull of his beer.

Wow…talk about a freak out. Why did guys get weird when marriage was mentioned? It was sort of upsetting, because I did like to think that Edward potentially thought of us leading toward something like that, but maybe he wasn't even thinking about that at all. Yes, we were taking it slow, but that didn't mean we couldn't envision our future with each other. If there was a future. Maybe Jasper was right and he did have a bit of a commitment issue…

No, I didn't believe that at all.

When Jasper returned, the evening picked up again. Edward wasn't as quiet or tense as before, and Alice pretty much dominated the conversation. Edward and I didn't hold hands under the table after that, which bent me out of shape. Perhaps I was reading too much into it, considering we had to eat, after all. I mean, it wasn't like it was easy to hold hands and eat at the same time.

We finished our dinner and paid the bill. As we all stepped outside, Jasper turned to Edward with a smile. "Edward, it was great to see you again. I know we haven't talked lately, but I hope we can become good friends again like we once were. You have my number, so call me anytime you want and maybe we can go to a baseball game or something."

Edward nodded. "Yeah, no problem. A game sounds good," Edward replied.

"Great," Jasper said, and smiled widely before turning to me. "Bella, thanks for coming, too, and see you tomorrow morning."

"Bye, Jasper," I said, and looked at Alice. "Are you coming with me or going with him?"

She pouted. "I wanted us to go to a club."

"I'll go with you," Jasper offered, wrapping his arms around her waist.

She giggled. "Okay, but you have to dance with me for more than one song this time."

He chuckled. "Alright, anything for you."

They waved to us and started walking in the opposite direction. It was strange to think how much things had changed. Several months back, it would've been me and Jasper walking off, but now we were both with different people. I was happy with who I was with, and I could safely say that I had finally moved on. When I looked at Jasper now, I didn't harbor romantic feelings for him, other than caring for him deeply. I never thought I'd see the day, but here it was, and I felt so incredibly liberated.

When I turned to Edward, I noticed he was already making his way to his truck.

"Hey," I called out, and he looked over his shoulder. "Meet you back at my place?"

He nodded, and looked forward again.

Once we both arrived and went into my apartment building, I could sense that Edward was in some sort of mood. More and more, I was learning that he had his ups and downs. I guessed that tonight was a down moment.

I didn't bother to converse with him as I opened the front door. I figured once he was inside and got comfortable, he would lighten up.

"I'm gonna get out of these clothes," I said, placing my keys and purse down on the entryway table. "Make yourself at home, and I'll be back."

Once I entered my bedroom, I grabbed some shorts and a tank and then disappeared into my bathroom. My usual bathroom routine took a while, but I tried to speed it up as best as I could. So, once I'd rinsed my mouth, I turned off the bathroom light and went back into my darkened bedroom and toward the door that led to the living room.

"You put the toilet in the tank."

I gasped loudly and halted my steps, clutching my chest in fright. Looking into the darkness, I saw Edward sitting on the edge of my bed. "Jesus, you scared me," I said, panting, but he didn't respond. "Yeah, it's been there for a while now."

He was quiet, simply staring at me. I took the few steps over to him and placed my hands on his broad shoulders. His own hands came around to the back of my bare thighs, running them up and down languidly. I breathed in deeply, becoming intensely turned on at his gentle touches. I trailed my fingers down his chest and flattened my palms, feeling how toned he was there.

Neither of us were making the first move as we kept up this tantalizing, torturous exploration of our hands, wanting to break the other. I knew that I wasn't ready to have sex with him, but I desperately wanted more than just making out. The need to be closer to him was strengthening by the day.

"Kiss me," I whispered in demand.

"You kiss me," he countered.

I couldn't fight this anymore. I wanted him to just kiss me, but for whatever reason, he was being stubborn, and frankly, I was much too weak at the moment.

As soon as my lips lightly touched his, a ravenous fire seemed to blaze inside of him. He instantly responded with a force, crushing his mouth to mine, inhaling deeply through his nose, and nearly knocking me off my feet. In an abrupt move, he spun me around onto the bed and covered my body with his, our lips never detaching once.

I locked my legs around his waist, wanting to feel him as close to me as possible. He groaned loudly and pushed his hips into mine, causing me to moan against his hungry, moist lips that were driving me crazy. Our fingers were digging into each other, feeling every part we could reach.

As I sucked on his top lip, I ground into him repeatedly, rubbing my heat against his hard erection that I could feel through his jeans.

"Shit, Bella…I can't wait anymore," he rasped in a pant against my mouth.

I stopped gyrating my hips, but took up kissing my way down to his neck and licking the skin there. "I'm not ready," I breathed.

He stopped all his movement and dropped his forehead to my shoulder. "Okay," he exhaled, and I could hear him swallow. "Then maybe I should go."

My head fell back to the mattress to look up at him. "What? Why?"

"Because, Bella," he started, his lust-filled eyes burrowing into my own, "I can't _not_ touch you now. Do you know how hard it's been lately for me to stop when I don't want to? And now, I just…I _need _to touch you."

"I never said you couldn't touch me, Edward."

His eyes remained connected with mine. "Touch you?"

I nodded, slowly trailing my fingers up his back.

"You…You'll let me touch you right now?" he questioned anxiously, his voice guttural.

In affirmation, I grabbed his hand, and moved it to rest his palm over my clothed breast. He squeezed it hard, kneading and rolling it around a bit.

"Take off my shirt," I whispered.

He quickly sat back on his haunches and brought me up to sit. In a hurried move, he whipped my tank off, as if he was desperate to see me. I fiddled underneath the hem of his shirt, wanting to remove it. He took my hands and slid them up to the ridges of his stomach, giving me permission to feel him, which I took advantage of. As my fingertips glided over his firm abdominal muscles, he took off his shirt and threw it somewhere in the room.

In a flash, his hands were back on me, trying to rid of my shorts. I laid back and lifted my hips off the bed, helping him pull the fabric down my thighs, legs, and ending up discarded on the floor. We stared at each other for a moment, in our own world of dizzy lust, before he popped open the button of his jeans and slid the zipper down.

He stood and pushed his jeans to his ankles, kicking them off carelessly. Even in the dark, I could see how hard he was through his briefs. He crawled back over to me and rested on his side, gazing at me, but not touching.

The energy changed.

What was hurried before had become slow. It all seemed to mean something now as opposed to just wanting to feel each other.

These emotions I was feeling were so strong. It wasn't quite love yet, but it wasn't lust, either. It was right in between. I knew I would do anything for him and wanted him in my life for as long as possible, but I also wanted to straddle him and spin out of control.

He reached out, his fingers brushing against my arm and trailing down the side of my body to where I knew he wanted to be. When his fingertips skimmed under the side of my panties, my breathing grew uneven. Clouded by my arousal, I leaned into him and captured his lips, showcasing my anxiousness.

With every second that passed, his fingers grew closer to my center. My skin was on fire, and I wanted him to take off my underwear, but I didn't want to waste any amount of time that would delay him from doing what he was about to do.

Finally, his fingers were sliding into my slick folds, spreading thick moisture around. His long digits felt so good on me, and I was practically begging in my head for him to slip one inside.

He shifted closer to me and moved his mouth to my ear, lightly pecking me over and over. When he pushed a finger inside of me, I sighed a whimper and moved my hips in circular motions, wanting him to go deeper.

"These panties…I want them off," he said huskily, still moving in and out of me painfully slow.

"Take them off, then," I breathed, squeezing my eyes shut as I concentrated on what he was doing to me.

"But I want to see you—with the light on," he expressed, and removed his finger from within me, sliding it back up to my clit and rubbing more wetness onto it.

My mind was so befuddled, and I was immensely aroused, that at this point, I'd agree to anything. "The lamp…nightstand." Was I even coherent to him?

He quickly removed his hand from out of my underwear, much to my dismay, and turned on his other side to switch on the lamp. When bright, yellow light flooded the room, I became aware that he was going to really see me naked now. He'd seen my breasts before, but even that had been in the dark.

I furrowed my brow when I saw that he wasn't turning back toward me. His head was faced away, so I couldn't see him.

"Edward?" I asked curiously.

"Do you always keep pictures of your ex-boyfriends by your bed?"

My eyes grew wide. I glanced over to where he was looking and saw the framed picture that I'd always kept there of Jasper and me embracing as it snowed in New York.

"I really didn't notice I still had that." I was telling the truth. My time with Edward had made me forget about Jasper, and anyway, if I had realized before it was still there, I would've removed it.

He sighed and sat up on the bed, swinging his feet and dropping it to the ground with a thud. He didn't speak for a moment, and I became worried. My heart was clambering in my chest because I was so nervous over his quiet reaction. This really was nothing. I hoped he didn't read too much into it.

"I think it's time we talk about Jasper," he finally said, his tone terse.

"Why?" I asked quickly, because I really didn't want to. I wanted to go back to what we were doing before—him touching me and us moving a step further in our physical relationship.

"Why not?"

Begrudgingly, I reached off the bed and grabbed my camisole, throwing it on quickly to cover myself up. "Didn't you hear all about me from Jasper?"

"He told me you two dated, but that's it. It was just a passing comment at lunch once. Besides, I shouldn't be hearing that stuff from him, I should be hearing it from my girlfriend." He paused, inhaling deeply through his nose. I was stunned, because that was the first time he'd called me that—his girlfriend. But it made sense, considering we'd been together for a couple months now. "Am I just a rebound to you?"

"What?" I asked incredulously, tension building in my forehead. "Just because I have a picture of Jasper by my bedside, doesn't mean you're a rebound."

"Oh yeah?" he laughed sardonically, causing me to flinch. "I saw the way you stared at him when I first met you, or the times after that, the way you looked at him like he was some sort of God. Or how about the way he was looking at you tonight."

"Wha—?" I started to question in shock, but cut myself off. "He's with _Alice_."

"Yeah, right," he said cynically. "I'm not exactly blind, you know."

I sat up on my knees, glaring at him. "It sounds to me like you're a bit insecure."

He stood from the bed and spun around, his eyes searing into mine. I knew that I was seeing an entirely different Edward…one I didn't think I wanted to know. "_I'm not insecure_," he spat.

"Says the guy who's freaking out over a _picture_," I said, pointing to the frame that still rested on the nightstand.

"You're being evasive."

"There's nothing to say!" I exclaimed. "Jasper and I had a relationship; it's over now."

"See?" He pointed to me. "Evasive."

"How is that evasive?"

"Because you refuse to tell me anything about what happened between you two, how it ended. You could've told me as soon as we got into this, but you didn't."

I gaped at him, wondering if he was actually being serious. "You never asked! And wait a minute," I started, realizing something, "if you supposedly saw the way I looked at Jasper when we first met, then why did you even pursue me?"

He groaned, closing his eyes and running a hand over his face. "Because I'm clearly a selfish idiot who couldn't back off. I wanted you…_really badly_. I thought you were beautiful, intelligent, and someone I wanted to know. I could see how you looked at him, yet I was convinced that somehow I could change that."

My expression softened exponentially. "You did change that."

His eyes snapped open, and he shook his head. "That really doesn't make me feel any better, Bella," he spoke, his tone changing to desperation. "I want to know that you're mine and mine only, that I'm _all_ you think about, but then I see pictures by your bed like this, and I begin to think I'm just lying to myself."

"Do you hear what you're saying?" I queried, aggravated. "You want to be _all_ I think about? I have a job; I have friends. You can't occupy every second."

His jaw clenched, and he crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "Okay, you know what? Maybe I am a little insecure about you and Jasper," he admitted. "But we've hung out how many times, and you haven't even told me anything about your past relationships?"

I laughed without humor. "Uh, hello? Who's the pot calling the kettle black? When have you told me _anything_ about your former relationships, Mr. Screw Them and Snuggle Them, is it? Or should I call you _Teddy_?"

His eyes turned to slits. "That's different, because you dated one of my best friends from college. I knew him way before you did, and I'm now dating his most recent ex." He paused, his eyes boring into mine. I could tell a million thoughts were running through his head, but to be honest, all that was running through mine was how mad I was at him. An expression of determination washed over his features, and he moved right up to the bed. "Alright fine. You wanna know about my past? I dated a lot in college—never had a serious girlfriend. In the last few years, I've had two serious relationships that lasted a year each. I broke it off with both of them because I felt I wasn't in the right place to go any further."

"Wow, I'm definitely looking forward to that one year mark," I quipped snidely. If he was just going to dump me several months from now, then what the hell were we doing here?

His nostrils flared. "I haven't been with anyone like that in a while, and I finally feel like I'm at a point where I want to move past that one year mark. And I was hoping it could be with you."

I wanted to believe him, but my incensed thoughts refused to let me. "Yeah, that's why you just about freaked out when Alice mentioned marriage."

"I wasn't freaking out," he said, and I raised an eyebrow, because he was such a liar. His defensive expression shifted, becoming almost timid. "Alright, yeah, I freaked out a little. I'm sorry, but you're the first girl I've actually sat around and thought about doing things like that with—you know…marriage and stuff. It just made me realize how invested I've become in us…"

My anger suddenly faded at his words. I couldn't find it in me to be mad at him anymore, not after that declaration. "You said you _were_ hoping it could be with me," I noted quietly.

He sighed, appearing defeated. "Still hoping…"

I moved to sit on the edge of the bed, right by where he was standing. After a moment, he sat down next to me. "Okay," I began in determination, "Jasper was the first long term relationship I'd ever had. He was different than any other guy I'd been with, which is what attracted me to him. We had a lot in common, and he…I don't know…he made a fuss over me, which no one had ever done before. He broke up with me after a year and a half of dating because he said I wasn't the one."

He looked at me intently. "I'm really sorry he said that to you and broke your heart like that."

I smiled weakly. "It's okay. I'm truly over it now, but for a while, it was a pretty hard pill for me to swallow."

"I understand," he said quietly, and reached for my hand that was resting on my lap. We laced our fingers together, and I immediately felt comforted, yet upset that we'd actually just had a fight. "Can we go back to the part about you saying he was your first long term relationship? Was he your first…uh…time?"

"Oh, no," I answered, and chuckled. "I haven't been a virgin since my early teens." My face grew hot when I realized what I'd said.

"How many guys exactly have you been with?" he questioned, sounding surprised. I didn't answer. I was terrified he'd think differently of me because of it. "Okay, I'll ask something easier. When did you lose your virginity?"

I flattened out his hand, stroking his palm to avoid looking at him directly. "Fifteen…?" I said almost as a question.

"_Fifteen_?"

I retracted my hand, setting it in my own lap. "Why? When did you lose yours?" I asked defensively.

"Well…sixteen…but…_fifteen_?"

I fumed. "So, I first had sex one year younger than you did and that's wrong?"

"But, I mean…guys are just known for—"

"Don't you dare even finish that sentence," I snapped, cutting him off fiercely. "That's a complete double standard."

"You're right; I'm sorry." He took my hand back, setting it into his own lap. "You know, I'm never going to be that guy that makes a fuss over you. I mean, I try to, but it always ends up a disaster. Like that time I tried to send you different kinds of flowers at your work and it completely backfired."

I turned my entire body to him, shocked yet elated. "That was you?"

He laughed. "You couldn't tell?"

I giggled, feeling like I was walking on air. I should've known it had been him. "You know, you may think it was a disaster, but it wasn't. When I got those flowers, all I could think about was how sweet it was and that the person who did it must've put a lot of thought into it. It was the most creative thing anyone has ever done for me."

He leaned into me, his forehead pressing against mine. "Well…that does make me feel better, even though you ended up throwing them away." He kissed one corner of my mouth before moving to the other side and doing the same. "And I know you think we don't have a lot in common, but do you think that really matters?"

"Well…that's not exactly true. Somehow, you've managed to get me to like beer." I smirked at him, followed by a peck on his lips.

He chuckled. "You're right. And you were so hell-bent on hating it," he said. I rolled my eyes, but knew it was accurate. "I'd like to think that we're together because of the connection we have."

"We do have a connection, don't we?" I asked, more to myself than him.

"Yeah," he confirmed, and wrapped his arms around me, hugging my body close to his. "So…I have nothing to worry about between you and Jasper?" I squirmed in his arms and tried to move out of his hold. We were back to this? Why did he keep bringing up Jasper? He held on tight, refusing to let me go. "I know, I'm sorry…but I get scared that your heart is in two different places. I know you like me, but then there's him…You have to tell me if you still want to be with him."

I pushed against his chest and brought up my hands to cup his stubbly face. "If there is one thing I'm sure of, it's that I want to be with you and you only. Jasper and I are over, and we won't ever get back together. You've opened my eyes to different kinds of emotions I've never felt before, and you're making me whole again. I can't give it up, and I don't want to, so don't make me."

He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair. "I won't. I wouldn't dream of it."

I could tell that his insecurities weren't going to go away at the drop of a hat, so I was just going to have to prove it to him that he was all I wanted. "I promise. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

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**A/N: **

**Well, that wasn't a fun evening. I think it's safe to say that they needed a little hashing out, though. And now we see that Edward has some pretty bad insecurities about Jasper and Bella.**

**Speaking of Jasper, he knows now. Many of you wanted him to find out. Did he react how you predicted? Jasper is a fairly complex guy, so I don't think it's easy to predict how he'd act. Unfortunately, the drama genre of this story is really coming into play now, but just know that we're far from done. **

**There's a Polyvore on the profile to accompany this chapter. See ya next week and Happy Holidays, everyone.  
**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx

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If you like Imperfectward and think he's oh-so-sweet/cute/adorable, then please vote for him in the Avant Garde awards for "Best Edward." The voting ends this week. The link to that is on my profile.**


	16. He Left Me

**A/N: **

**First of all, I hope you all had a great Christmas. I think I managed to gain 2 sizes in one day from eating absolutely everything in sight. Then I wonder why I put on weight this time of year. **

**Second of all, thank you for continuing to read. I know the characters are frustrating, but life is filled with frustrating people and scenarios.  
**

**Beta is the awesome Lindz26. A huge thank you to twistedcoincidence for pre-reading this chapter for me and also taking the position as my bodyguard. She is the Kevin Costner to my Whitney Houston. And a last thank you to the many girls on Twitter who helped me out with Spanish translations. I apologize, because if I could remember names, I'd list them.

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**

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN  
*HE LEFT ME***

Light kisses were slowly being showered down the side of my neck. I let out a throaty moan to let the suspect know I'd just woken up. The soft kisses moved to my ear, making me sigh in delight.

"Your alarm went off, but you slept through it," a gentle voice whispered in my ear, followed by a lingering peck.

"Mmm," I groaned, and opened my tired eyes to see Edward hovering over me as I rested on my side, facing away from him.

"It's only six. Why do you have it set it so early?" he asked, and pressed his lips to my cheek.

I turned over, digging my face into his bare chest. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head. "I like to know that I have a substantial amount of time to wake up, get dressed, and eat. If I don't have enough time, I get stressed."

Last night, after our spat, we were both exhausted, so we went to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms. I didn't like that fight, and I wished it never happened. I also wished that he wouldn't think that I was going to go back to Jasper. Edward and I had been spending so much time together that I thought it was evident he was the only guy I wanted. Could he really not see that?

There may have been a time that I would've gone back to Jasper, but things had changed from then until now, and without a doubt, I wouldn't go back to him. Even though I'd told Edward yesterday that he couldn't fill my entire thoughts, he already did.

"You can stay. Take the day off and be with me," he said ardently.

"I wish. Bills to pay, though."

"Well, I can always give you the money that was meant for my mom, since that's just laying around now." He chuckled, but the sound wasn't genuine in the least.

I pushed against him so his back was resting on the mattress. I moved half of my body on top of him. "How is she?"

"She's okay. She has her bad days and her good. But my aunt told me she's been doing a lot better lately."

I smiled. "That's good," I said, satisfied, and patted his chest. "I need to get up and get dressed."

"Why don't we go to breakfast? At least get some coffee," he suggested.

"Yeah, sounds good," I agreed, and got off the bed, stretching my arms above my head.

"Nice ass," he commented.

I looked over my shoulder and down to see that my underwear had ridden up, revealing my ass cheeks. I quickly shifted them to cover as much skin as possible and then cast him a faux glare. He smirked and threw his arms beneath his head, his eyes roaming my body with heated lust.

If only we'd been able to finish what we started yesterday. I could still remember the feel of his fingers gliding inside of me. Even though there was no climax, it was definitely a reprieve from my vibrator that was getting a lot of action lately due to an overabundance of sexual tension.

I never thought I'd crave someone else again as much as I did now with Edward. Maybe we could have a redo tonight…?

After I took a quick shower and changed into something work appropriate, I went to my nightstand to retrieve my cell phone. It was then that I noticed something was missing. The picture of Jasper and me. I glanced around, confused, and then opened the drawer of the bedside table in search for it.

There it was—shoved carelessly toward the back.

I took it out and sat on the now empty spot where Edward had slept. I wasn't sure when he had done this, but it really upset me. I'd already planned on removing the frame today. He didn't need to take the liberty of doing it himself. What did he think would happen? That I wouldn't see?

What did I have to do to prove to Edward that I wasn't interested in Jasper anymore?

I knew that it would have to be something that would be shown over time, but couldn't he just trust me _now_? Last night, at dinner, was probably the most interaction I'd had with Jasper since Edward and I started dating, and even then, all my thoughts were only on one guy. Why couldn't he just see that?

I wasn't going to make a big deal out of this, because I didn't want another awful argument like last night, so I would drop this and move on as if nothing happened.

After I set the picture frame back in the drawer and made a mental note to rid of it later, I went into the living room with Edward, who was already dressed and ready to go.

"I was thinking," I started, walking into the kitchen to take my usual morning vitamins, "you should come over when I'm done with work, and we can have dinner here."

"You thought of that in the shower?"

I glanced at him over the top of my glass of water. He had a wicked smile on his face, causing me to roll my eyes. "Yes, I thought of that in the shower," I answered, and discreetly smiled. So, maybe I was being a bit manipulative and saying we could have dinner here, so that we could go into the bedroom directly after.

He walked right up to me, his heated eyes never leaving mine. "What else did you think about in there?"

I matched his look, wanting nothing more than to move into the bedroom right this second. But we didn't have time, and I wanted it to be special. "My tax returns," I spoke huskily, and giggled.

He chuckled. "That must've really gotten you worked up."

"Very," I said, but not in regard to my tax returns. "So, dinner or not?"

He moved past me and to the fridge, opening it casually. "Okay, but you don't have any beer."

"Nice observation," I said sarcastically. "This is a no beer zone."

He frowned and shut the door. "Fine."

"We can make daiquiris, though," I offered with a self-satisfied grin.

He made a face and snorted. "And read Cosmo then watch a chick flick?"

I rolled my eyes at his cynicism. "Come on, it'll be fun. You made me try beer, so I'm making you try something new, too." I gave him my best pleading look.

"Don't look at me like that. It's hard enough to resist you most of the time, and then to throw in that face." When I continued looking at him, he released a heavy sigh. "Fine. Just don't tell Emmett."

I laughed and held up three fingers. "Scouts honor."

And then I remembered something crucial.

I began looking through my cupboards one by one, but what I needed wasn't there. Crap. I knew exactly where it was, too.

"I left my blender at Jasper's a while back," I said, causing Edwards' eyebrow to rise. I could easily go get it, but judging by the look Edward had right now, I probably shouldn't. "Do you happen to have one at your house?"

"No, but…I can take care of it."

"I hope you're not considering buying a new one."

"Just let me handle it."

I shrugged, giving up, and turned to the counter. "Okay, fine, but—" I began to say, when I saw a blue post-it note stuck at the far end of the counter, near the landline phone. I walked over and grabbed it to see it better.

_Greyhound Station  
628-5555  
7:00 AM_

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, coming right up behind me to see what I was looking at.

"Did you hear Alice come in last night?"

"I got up sometime in the night to get some water, and she wasn't here, but I think I might've heard the front door close."

I couldn't believe this. _I couldn't freaking believe this. _She was leaving. Why on earth would she go now after all she'd said about wanting to be in my life again and have a proper relationship with Jasper?

No. She wasn't going to get away with this. I was going to drag her back by the damn hair, if I had to.

"Change of plans," I said, crumpling up the post-it. "I have a dead cousin to retrieve."

Edward insisted on driving me, which was just as well, because I was so flustered with rage that I didn't think I'd be able to drive properly without having to flip everyone off.

As soon as we pulled up to the station, my watch said that it was close to seven. I tore off my seatbelt and climbed out of Edward's truck. My eyes searched frantically for her.

"I'm gonna run inside and see if anyone knows anything," Edward offered, jogging through the sliding doors.

I remained outside, my hands balled into fists. There were a few greyhounds that were parked with people climbing on board.

That was when I saw her, standing by one of the buses. She had on a bright, yellow colored JanSport backpack as she ate what looked like a breakfast burrito.

"Alice," I shouted, and began speed walking over to her, my heels clicking harshly against the pavement.

Her eyes found mine, and a huge grin lit up her face. "Bella!" she greeted excitedly. She tossed her burrito into a trashcan near her and then met me halfway.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I growled in question.

"Oh my God. You're never gonna guess what happened. I'm going to Vegas!"

"What?" I snapped, my jaw tense.

"So, last night, I decided to go to one of those illegal poker games—shh, don't tell anyone. Anyway, I went there and played with a bunch of big, redneck guys, who smelled like dead deer. They thought they could beat me, but they didn't know that I could count cards. So, yeah, I cheated and won the entire jackpot." She giggled as my mouth hung open in incredulity. "One guy put a bus ticket to Vegas in the pot, and so here I am, along with a crapload of money I won."

I stayed quiet for a moment, taking time to digest what it was she was saying. "Alice, are you nuts?"

"Sometimes," she replied, "but—Hey! You have to meet Juan." She pointed toward the bus at a short, dark-skinned man with several plastic bags in his hands. "Juan, come here." She waved him over, and he joined us like this was all no big deal. "This is Juan."

"_Hola_," he said to me.

"He's an illegal immigrant from Mexico. He's going to Vegas to try to win money to send back to his family so that they'll be rich and he won't have to work in a strawberry patch anymore, even though that's kind of cool. I mean, who doesn't like strawberries? They taste good with whipped cream, and I sometimes have them with powdered sugar."

"Alice," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. There was so much I needed to say, so much I _had_ to say. I felt like it was building inside of me, waiting to burst.

"I can speak a bit of Spanish, since I lived in Spain, but talking to Juan is weird because they use a lot of slang that I can't understand. I get the gist of it, though. _¿No es la verdad, Juan?_"

"_No hablo Inglés. ¿Qué has dicho?_" Juan replied.

"_Me dijo que hablas mucho en jerga_—"

"Alice!" I interrupted in an enraged growl.

"What?" she asked coolly.

I wanted to wring her neck. "What about Jasper?" I inquired through gritted teeth.

She arched an eyebrow, as if she really didn't know. "What about him?"

"He likes you. _A lot_."

"Aww, I like him, too. He's a sweetheart," she gushed, and then her eyes flitted to the bus that had now turned on its engine. "Oh, crap. My bus is leaving any minute. I gotta jam."

"Do you not comprehend what I'm saying here?" I asked condescendingly. She was absolutely infuriating! "Jasper _likes _you, Alice. You can't just up and leave because you feel like going to a different city now."

"Oh, come on. He was a lot of fun, but this is _Vegas_. It was like God was giving me a sign—a greyhound bus ticket sign—that said, _Go. To. Vegas_!"

I shook my head, watching her through slits. The dam had officially burst, and I couldn't hold myself back any longer. "You're an awful person, Alice. You really are. I expect you to do this sort of thing to me, but not him. Not Jasper. You can't do this to him," I said, my heart falling to the pit of my stomach. "And I knew you were completely full of it when you said you wanted to be my friend. I'm just glad that I didn't trust you again, because you will always be the girl that ditched me. That's just who you are—a liar, a cheat, and a no-life loser who hasn't and will never grow up."

Alice straightened the straps of her backpack, a hard expression crossing her features. "You know," she started slowly, "I miss the old Bella, the one who would've jumped for joy when she found out I was given this opportunity. Hell, she would've even bought a bus ticket and joined me. You…I don't even know who you are anymore, and to be honest, I don't want to. I thought I could get along with this new you, but it's hard to get along with someone who has something major stuck up her ass. So, let me know when Hella Bella comes back, 'cause maybe she'd like to have a couple drinks with me in Vegas."

We remained staring at each other for an unmeasured amount of time, just like we had when I first cut her out of my life forever back when we were teens. I could see that she was decided, and so was I.

It was better that she left.

"_Vamos, Juan_," she grumbled, and walked away. I watched her as she got on the greyhound, which then pulled out and onto the road.

X-X-X-X

Rose and I were standing at the counter in the break room, making ourselves coffee. I was telling her about Alice's quick exit this morning.

"She said I had something stuck up my ass and to let her know when Hella Bella would come back," I rehashed.

"God, what a bitch," Rose said, stirring sugar into her mug. "I don't understand how she can leave like that. I thought you said she liked Jasper."

"I thought so, too, honestly," I said. "I should've known better that Jasper was just a new toy for her until she found something else more exciting."

"But you did know that when she first came around, didn't you?"

"I did, but I forgot. I let my stupid good side come through and give her a second chance."

"Or maybe you just missed her," she deduced.

I sighed. "A part of me did like having her around. It's not like she's a fantastic listener or someone I have anything in common with anymore, but there was a sense of familiarity with her, considering she's my relative. Damn her for having the same grandmother as me."

We both turned around to sit at the small table, but the sight of Jasper leaning against the doorway with an expression of absolute despair caused us to gasp.

"Jasper…" I breathed in shock, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. He must've heard everything by the looks of it.

"I just…came in here to tell you that you two can leave early for lunch," he spoke quietly, his eyes missing its usual spark.

"Thanks…um," Rose said, "but about—"

Jasper held up a hand, silently willing her to stop speaking. "I hope you don't mind if I don't join you both today. I have a lot of work to catch up on. So, I'll be in my office."

"Do you want us to bring you back anything?" Rose questioned.

He shook his head. "No, thank you. Just tell Angela to hold my calls on your way out." With that, he walked away and to his office. He shut the door behind him, and a second later, the blinds to his window closed.

I didn't know what to do. I hadn't meant for Jasper to find out about Alice, but it was evident that he would've eventually when he couldn't contact her. Maybe it was best that he did know. I wished I could comfort him in some way, but there was nothing I could do other than give him space. If there was one thing I knew about him, it was that he was good at masking his emotions when he really wanted to, but I could always tell the subtle differences, revealing what he was truly feeling, and right now, he was in pain.

The rest of the day went fairly quickly. I had nothing important to do because Jasper wasn't communicating with anyone. It was like the entire office was on hold.

When I went back to my very empty apartment, I fed Max, poured a glass of sherry, and sunk down on my couch to unwind. It was only a Tuesday, but I was looking forward to some downtime on the weekend more than ever. Without Alice around, things seemed so stagnant. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I watched a bit of television for about an hour, attempting to zone my mind out from the events of the day. In the past, I'd spent so long not thinking about Alice, that it was no problem flicking that switch again.

The ringtone of my cell phone suddenly sounded. I quickly shut off the TV and grabbed my phone off the coffee table. I sighed when I saw a text message that read _Code Green_. Even though I didn't have to by the looks of it, I immediately dialed the number I needed.

"Hey," I greeted softly when he picked up.

There was silence on the other line, until he finally spoke. "Hey."

"Tough day?" I asked.

He exhaled heavily. "Yeah."

"Anything I can do?"

"Not really," he answered. "But I just…I really need someone to talk to."

"Well, I'm here. You know that."

"Is it too much to ask for you to come over? I don't feel like holding this stupid thing and talking into it."

"Yeah," I agreed. I could tell he was agitated, so I told him I'd see him soon and hung up.

After I got my keys and purse, I had a strange feeling that I was forgetting something, but I pushed that to the back of my mind.

A little more than twenty minutes later, I was pulling up to Jasper's tall apartment building. I waved to some of the staff that I'd gotten to know over the years from being here so often, and they waved back, happy to see me.

I pressed Jasper's floor, then waited for the elevator to close. Tapping my foot impatiently, I wondered if Alice had the smallest shred of guilt inside of her, but I was sure she didn't. She went where the wind blew, with no regrets whatsoever.

The elevator opened to his floor, and I made my way to his door. I could've just opened it and let myself in, if I wanted, but I felt it more appropriate to just knock, so I did.

When he opened the door, he looked haggard, dressed in fleece pajama pants and a dark gray cotton shirt, his usual styled hair in slight disarray. I'd never seen him like this, not even when he was sick.

"You don't look good," I observed with a worried expression.

"Yeah, sorry," he said, and opened the door further to let me in. "I knew it was just you, so I didn't bother."

I snorted and walked inside. "Well, thanks. What a compliment."

He chuckled halfheartedly. "Sorry. You know what I mean."

Once he shut the door, I followed him to his entertainment room, where it seemed he'd been lounging out, considering there was a blanket sprawled out on top of the couch as well as a paused movie on the television screen.

"Do you want anything to eat or drink?" he asked noncommittally as he sat down.

I joined him, setting my purse on the ground. "No, I'm good." I was here to talk, so that was what we were going to do. "What's going through your mind right now?"

He shook his head, staring at the floor. "I don't know…I guess I really thought she liked me."

I sighed, removed my high heels, and tucked a leg under me. "I'm sure she did…but she's also very flighty. No one has ever been able to pin her down."

"But she'd told me that she'd meet my parents this weekend. I had our flight tickets booked and everything."

God, she was awful. "I don't know what to tell you."

"Is she coming back?" he asked, his hopeful eyes lifting to mine.

"No," I answered honestly. "She's not coming back."

"Are you sure?"

"I know my cousin. She's gone."

He remained quiet, staring off into space, his breaths deep and even. After a while, he rubbed a hand over his face. "I was sure she was it for me, too."

I was quite surprised that I felt nothing when he said that. There was no anger, no jealously, no malice. I did have to admit that it was odd how he felt Alice, someone who was nothing like him, was more suited for him than someone like me, who he had almost everything in common with. It just went to show that opposites really did attract. I knew that firsthand, myself.

"There's no doubt in my mind that she liked you. She's just not in that place to be what you want."

"But she was what I wanted," he said with emotion. "She was fun, she was different, and she taught me so many things. When I was with her, I felt this old part of me coming back to life again…the part I lost before I took over the auction house. You know, I once swore to myself that I'd never let my father's money rule me, but look what happened." He laughed bitterly. "I'm living in a goddamn penthouse, driving a fucking environmentally friendly BMW, and on top of that, I'm Vice President of a company I never wanted anything to do with."

I was shocked at his angry tone, but kept my calm demeanor intact. It was so rare he got like this. "You've worked hard for what you have right now. Don't downplay that."

"Is it worth it, though?" he questioned. "Is it worth it when I have no one to share it with?"

I pursed my lips, deliberating his words. "Jasper," I started, "I'm positive that you're going to meet someone that is everything you want, someone that is fun, different, and teaches you things, but someone that also wants what you want. I just don't think Alice is the right person for you."

He sighed, his body relaxing. "I wanted her to be, though."

"I understand," I said, resting back against the couch.

"You know," he began, looking deep in thought, "there a voice in the back of my head when I first saw her that told me not to get involved with her, because something wasn't right. I didn't listen to myself."

"Why didn't you?" I asked.

"I was too overcome with wanting to finally settle down, I guess, and she fit the bill. I just didn't anticipate that if it didn't work out, I'd end up feeling like this."

"It's not your fault," I said. "You were doing the right thing in looking for a relationship, but it was just with the wrong person. But, you learn and you grow from that, and hopefully now, you'll be able to tell who really is right for you."

He nodded slowly, and then smiled genuinely at me. "You're a really good friend, Bella."

"Jasper," I said with a shy chuckle.

"No, really. I mean it. You're always there for me." He pursed his lips, regarding me closely. "I have something I should confess."

I quirked an eyebrow in suspicion. "What is it?"

"Last night, at dinner, I was sort of giving Edward a hard time on purpose."

I furrowed my brow. "What?" I asked, surprised and even more so, angry. "Why would you do that?"

"I don't know," he spoke. "The guy was completely different in school—we both were. But a lot of girls got their hearts broken by him."

I groaned, aggravated. He could be so bull-headed sometimes! "Did it ever cross your mind that maybe he's changed?"

"Yes," he said, "and no. When he first showed up at my office a few months back, I knew he'd changed just by how he acts now. He used to be a real party guy. But when you told me you were dating him, I just automatically remembered how he was with girls, so I didn't think that aspect of him changed."

"Haven't you changed with how you treat women? From what I heard last night, you were a real jerk."

He looked down. "Yes, I was. And you're absolutely right; I did change…and I should've given Edward the benefit of the doubt." He glanced up at me with a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry. Truly. It's just…you're too special. I didn't want you to get hurt."

I guess I understood where he was coming from. After everything, I still watched out for Jasper, so it was natural that he'd do the same for me if need be. "Thanks for looking out for me, but I'm fine. Edward is everything I never thought I would have."

"You really like him, don't you?"

I smiled, letting that answer him for me. I was incredibly lucky to have found someone like Edward. He was definitely the bright spark in my life.

A distant ringtone echoed, causing Jasper to stand.

"That's my phone. I'll just be back in a minute," he said, and exited the room.

I sat back and regarded the television screen, which was frozen on an old black and white movie that I couldn't quite place. It had Henry Fonda, so it was most likely _12 Angry Men_.

"It's no problem, and yeah, I'm at home," I heard Jasper say, and then pause. He chuckled. "A blender? I'm not sure."

_Blender…? _

"Oh, yeah. I think I do have one," he continued. "It's not mine, though; it's Bella's. Come on up."

My brow furrowed in confusion. Was Edward here? Who else would coincidentally need a—?

Oh my God. I was supposed to be meeting him right now! How long had I been here, and how could I have forgotten?

Just as I stood, I could hear voices in the foyer, which grew louder as I made my way out of the room.

"…told me she left it here, so I thought I'd get it back for her."

"Oh, good. Let me go get it. I'll be back in a minute."

I walked out into the foyer, seeing the back of Edward. I was a mixture of happy and nervous to see him, though I wasn't exactly sure why I was nervous. It was just an automatic reaction for some reason.

"Edward?" My tone was full of hesitancy.

He turned around slowly. When his sharp eyes found mine, I could see a storm brewing behind them. He glanced down at my bare feet, then back up to me. He balled his hands into fists, and his shoulders tensed. I merely stared at him, waiting for him to respond, to say anything. His silence was scaring me.

After a moment, he merely shook his head, let out a cynical chuckle, and then walked to the door.

"Edward," I said, and followed behind him. He flung open the door and disappeared into the hallway. "_Wait_, Edward." He refused to stop or even acknowledge that I was behind him. "Will you stop walking?" My tone was demanding yet pleading.

He immediately halted his steps and spun around. The way he was looking at me, it was as if he was staring into the eyes of a stranger. It made me feel alone and helpless.

"Well, I guess I was right," he spoke sadistically.

"You were right?" I asked, baffled. "What do you mean you were right?"

"All that talk last night was just a big pile of shit, wasn't it?"

My mouth fell open. What the hell was happening? "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course, you conveniently don't know what I'm talking about," he spat, and crossed his arms. "I'm talking about you and Jasper."

Oh God…he thought that I was here _with_ Jasper.

"No, Edward. I promise you that I was just here talking—" I tried to explain.

"I don't care," he interrupted, his expression emotionless.

"No, listen. Alice left him, so he's upset. He needed someone to talk to."

He chuckled, shaking his head. In a flash, his features twisted into sheer fury. "It's an excuse to see you, Bella. And you just go back to him without a second thought. How dumb do you think I am?"

"He's my friend!" I exclaimed. "I can't not help him if he needs it."

"He's your ex-boyfriend, and I'm a fucking idiot," he growled, and spun back around, punching the elevator button with his tightly balled up fist.

I flinched, taken aback at this belligerent side to him. But this was _Edward_—the man I was crazy about. He had the wrong idea, and I just needed to reassure him. "Please, Edward. This is insane. I've been spending day in and day out with you. How can you think I'd just go back to him?"

The elevator opened, but he stood right on the threshold, his hands coming up to block the door from closing as he glowered at me. "Because he's messed with your head or some shit. He calls and you automatically come running, don't you?"

"Just stop, okay? You're being ridiculous."

"Well, you're just plain stupid," he countered.

I frowned, insulted. I couldn't even respond to something like that. There seemed to be nothing I could say right now that would get him to calm down or see reason.

The elevator door tried to force itself closed, but he slammed his hand against it hard, making it snap back.

"I'm such an idiot," he hissed, screwing his eyes shut as if in agony. "I knew it, too. I knew this shit would happen as soon as I let Emmett talk me into going after you. And you ...with your whole hot and cold bullshit. You were just trying to keep your options open."

"I wasn't trying to keep anything open," I said desperately, and attempted to take a step to him, but stopped when his fierce glare became sharper. I felt like he was piercing me with a blunt blade. All I could do was remain rooted in my spot, hoping the ground wouldn't sink beneath me.

"Forget about _my_ feelings," he continued, ignoring me. "Forget about what _I'm_ going through. It's all about you, isn't it?"

"That's not even remotely—"

"Don't answer that," he growled, and dropped his hands to his sides. "I'm out of here."

"No, just wait a minute," I begged frantically.

He shook his head fervently. "Bella, I can't do this anymore," he said, the anger from before dissipating, as if he no longer had any fight left in him.

"What do you mean?" I questioned in a terrified whisper.

"You're still in love with him," he said, his blank eyes staring through me. No amount of shaking my head was getting across to him. "I know you are. I can't be with someone that doesn't want to be with me."

"I want to be with you, Edward. Why aren't you listening to me?"

"Because if you wanted to be with me, we'd be at your apartment right now, instead of you being here with him," he spoke quietly, and took a step back. A mask of acceptance crossed his features. "It's over."

The elevator door closed, shielding my sight from him. I remained staring, completely shocked and in denial. I shook my head, releasing a tear that had been on the brink of falling.

This was crazy. He didn't just break up with me because he thought I was going back to Jasper. He wouldn't do that. I had to catch up to him, to tell him how much I felt for him, to assure him that I was his. I'd tell him anything he wanted to hear and even promise him that he would be all I thought about from now on, just like he wanted.

I pressed the elevator button over and over and over, until my fingers were starting to hurt. Meanwhile, I didn't even realize that I'd begun full on sobbing, hot tears searing down my face, my hands quivering in anxiety.

Everything felt so wrong right now. A part of me couldn't accept that he'd left me, but another part was fully aware that he'd just said goodbye. We hadn't even been together that long, and he'd already given up. Why couldn't he listen to me? And why was this elevator taking forever?

"Bella?" I heard Jasper's voice behind me.

I didn't turn around. I couldn't. I needed to go to Edward.

A cold hand rested against mine and prevented me from pressing the button anymore. "Stop," he ordered softly, and turned me to face him. He had my blender in one arm and set it down on the ground before wrapping his hands around my upper arms. "Why are you crying?"

"He wouldn't listen," I choked between sobs.

"What did he say to you?"

"He…He broke up with me," I answered quietly, my throat constricting. I couldn't breathe properly.

"Come here," he whispered, and pulled me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

I remained still and pretended just for a second that he was Edward, but then I realized that he wasn't. I cried even harder.**  


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**A/N: **

**Sorry. I guess I'll just let that speak for itself. Let me know what you're thinking.  
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**I'll be under my table in the MPMI forum. Feel free to stop by and throw things at me—shoes, food, atomic bombs. Until next week, have a good New Year. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**

**Spanish Translations:**

_**¿No es la verdad, Juan?**_** = Isn't that true, Juan?**_**  
No hablo Inglés. ¿Qué has dicho?**_** = I don't speak English. What did you say?**_**  
Me dijo que hablas mucho en jerga**_** = I said you speak a lot in slang.**


	17. He Avoided Me

**A/N: **

**Very mixed reaction. Some thought Bella had it coming, some thought Edward had issues, and some thought Jasper was to blame no matter what. Do I have an opinion? Yes, I do. I think it was Max's fault. All he does is sit on his throne all day. Damn fish. **

**I have to be honest, your reviews scared me. lol. I do have pretty thick skin, though. All I can say is to trust me. There are lessons to be learned. I don't feel I need to explain this much further. If you want to stay, please do. If you want to leave, that's not a problem for me. However, I respect readers who can see the bigger picture.**

**Beta is Lindz26. She's the shiz. Twistedcoincidence did the pre-reading/bodyguarding. I love her. A special thanks to GreenEyedGirl17 for her rec on her new fic Under the Same Moon. I read it and I'm already invested. It's got everything I like, angst and UST, so check it out!**

**And one last thing, and then I'll let you read. MPMI won "Best Edward" in the Avant Garde awards. Thank you to everyone who voted for Mr. Imperfect! I'm very touched.

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**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN  
*HE AVOIDED ME***

I'd lost track of how many times I'd called him. Twenty…twenty-five…maybe thirty times. Each time, it would ring once or twice and then go to voicemail. He was turning down each of my calls.

It had been five days since he'd broken up with me. Five days since I'd last seen him. Five days since I'd been happy and finally living again. Now, it'd all been pulled out from under me—just like that.

For five days straight, I kept myself together. I had faith. I was sure that he would've realized what a snap judgment he made and called me to reconcile. My phone had been practically attached to my hand, so I would've known if he'd have called. But he hadn't.

I kept my optimism high, knowing that he wouldn't just cut all ties at the drop of a hat. Then it truly began to sink in. It was slowly drowning me alive that I was beginning to think he wasn't going to call. Who could ever do that? And had I deserved to get that sort of treatment?

I ran through my actions in my head over and over again, trying to see it from his side—but I couldn't. When I was with Edward, I was with him. I'd told myself early on that in order to give the relationship a try, I couldn't be hesitant about it. I was sure that was what I'd done, but maybe he didn't see it like that.

If he had just let me talk, to calm him down and reassure him that I only wanted him, then maybe we could've had a fighting chance.

After I'd finished waiting for a call from him that never came, I debated if I should stop around his house. I'd come so close, even getting inside my car, but in the end, I stopped myself. If he wasn't calling or taking my calls, then what were the chances that he'd want to see me? But there was also another factor.

I didn't have any fight left in me.

I'd been so emotionally drained already when I got into the relationship with him. He was supposed to heal me, make me better, give me hope…How did it end up like this again? I was back to square one, only this time, I felt utterly alone.

On the sixth day, close to midnight, I was sitting around in my living room, watching TV, when I suddenly remembered something. Edward and I had made plans to spend the next day together. I was going to call into work sick, and he said he had a surprise for me. Did he remember? Did he even care? Deep down, I hoped he did, but I couldn't pretend anymore that I was okay and he was coming back.

So, I finally allowed myself to feel it.

Feel the hurt.

Feel the rejection.

Feel the lack of trust he had in me.

Feel every single emotion that I'd kept bottled up.

The dam broke, and the water burst through. Heavy sobs shook my body, and I curled into myself on the couch. I felt hopeless, as if nothing in this world could compare to the agonizing pain I was experiencing right now. My chest was throbbing as my heart rate increased, my breathing coming out in short spurts of hiccups.

Feeling lonely and desperate, I got off the couch and went in search of my phone. I punched in a text to the only person that could help me right now. When I was done, I went back to the couch and remained there, unthinking as I tried to rein in the stream of tears.

Some amount of time passed, when there were loud knocks. I shuffled to the door, dragging my heavy feet. After turning the knob, I was greeted to a look of pure, soothing sympathy.

"And you were doing so well, too," Rose observed, and took a step to wrap her arms around me. She was dressed in her pajamas and a pair of UGG boots, her hair up in a messy ponytail. She'd clearly been sleeping and I'd disturbed her.

My choking sobs picked up again of their own accord, and I rested the side of my head on her shoulder, tightening my arms around her. "I remembered he had something planned for me tomorrow."

She sighed, released me, and walked inside, pulling me by the hand toward my bedroom. After she sat me down on the edge of my bed, she went into my bathroom, coming out after a while with a bundle of tissues. I sniffled and took one from her to dry my damp face.

"I know you had plans tomorrow, but now you're hanging out with me," she said, sitting down directly next to me.

I wiped my nose and scrunched up the tissue into a ball. "You don't have to do that."

I hated that she felt she had to hang out with me just because Edward didn't want to be with me anymore. A part of me hoped that everything would change tomorrow and that he'd whisk me off and all would be okay; however, I didn't think that would happen. As he made blatantly clear, it was over.

"I want to," she spoke, and tucked my hair behind my ear. "I'm not that bad to hang out with, am I? I know I don't have a penis, but come on, it'll be fun."

I half chuckled and half cried. "Okay," I agreed.

"Good."

"Have you heard anything from Emmett?" I asked quietly. I couldn't help wanting just one shred of knowledge about what Edward was doing.

She shook her head with a frown. "He's not telling me anything. I'm sorry," she said. "Hun, you have to stop being miserable over this. I worry about you."

"I'm fine, really," I replied, trying to catch the traitorous tears speeding down my cheek with another tissue.

"You're not. You've been frighteningly normal the past few days, and that's not common after a break up. Now, you're the opposite, having a complete meltdown." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I don't know if I can take this again, Bella."

I looked down at my lap. I knew exactly what she was referring to, and I felt awful for it, because I was sure, for her, it was like last year all over again. "You don't have to stay here," I assured, my voice coming out in a strangled rasp.

"That's not what I mean. I just can't stand to see you this upset, and on top of that, you actually _want_ to see Edward. You're hoping he's just going to come to his senses, aren't you? Bella, he broke your heart for the stupidest reason ever, just because he was jealous—"

"He wasn't jealous," I interceded. "He was just a little insecure."

"It's the same thing. And why are you defending him? He doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt. This is exactly like when Jasper broke up with you. You acted as if he was still the good guy, when he wasn't. And Edward is far from good if he could do this to you."

"You know what?" I started in question, impassioned. "Maybe I am giving Edward the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he doesn't deserve me to be crying over him. But if I don't hope he'll come back to me, then I'm going to be alone, and I'm so done with being alone, Rose. In another two years, I'm going to be thirty, and I can't even keep a guy. What does that say about me? What am I doing wrong that's making them dump me without a second thought…?" I could've kept rambling, but the crying picked up again, preventing me from uttering another word.

Rose wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "Shhh," she soothed. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I just don't want to see you get hurt anymore. You know that I'll stay however many months here, spending the night and listening to you cry, if that's what you need. I'm here for you. But please, _please_ try to get past this. You're not going to be alone, because you're going to find someone that doesn't doubt you. Someone perfect for you."

I sniffled. "I just want Edward," I whispered.

"I know," she said, and pulled down the blankets for us. She crawled under the covers, and I followed. When we were settled, facing each other, I allowed my eyes to close. "What time is it?"

"It's past midnight," I said dully, my tone having no life to it, because I wasn't looking forward to the day.

"Happy Birthday, Bella."

X-X-X-X

Rose and I were late into work the next day. We'd decided to have a long breakfast at one of my favorite cafés. I hadn't eaten much, not having the appetite, but I did have about three cups of coffee, one that I took with me to work.

Even though I'd slept heavily last night, I still felt tired. My body just refused to move as energetically as it normally would, and my eyes were sagging a bit. Aside from how I felt physically, emotionally, I was completely distant, as if my emotions weren't my own. With as much crying as I'd done last night, I knew I had to rein that in today, and the only way to do that was to just detach from my feelings. It was hard when everything seemed so fresh in my mind, but I'd gotten relatively good at masking what I truly felt.

I told Rose I'd see her later on and then made the journey over to my office. I pushed my key in the lock, about to turn, when I realized the door was already unlocked. I always locked my door once work finished, but had I forgotten? No, I was usually good with remembering routine tasks like that.

After pushing open the door, I walked in cautiously, looking around as if someone might pop out of nowhere. When my eyes stopped on my desk, I was surprised to see a small square gift set in the center of my desk. It had simple silver wrapping paper with a small stick-on silver bow on top.

My mind instantly switched on, running through who would've gotten me a gift. However, the only person I could even remotely focus on was Edward. Was this from him? I swallowed thickly, nervous but anxious.

I slowly picked up the tiny box, holding it in my hands as a small smile crossed my lips. I knew Edward couldn't cut all ties. He still cared for me, and he realized that breaking up was a mistake. This was his way of reconciling.

I began to tear open the wrapping fervently, my heart thumping. I reminded myself that once I opened it, I would call him straight away to say thank you.

It was a box. A dark red velvet jewelry box.

Even though I was happy he'd remembered my birthday, I hoped he hadn't spent too much on whatever was inside. I'd rather him spend the money on his mother than waste it on me. When I opened it, however, I furrowed my brow.

Diamond earrings.

My entire mood deflated in an instant, the same hopelessness from last night sinking into me. These were the exact circlet platinum diamond earrings I'd seen in a Cartier catalogue a couple months ago. There'd been only one person who knew I admired them.

"Well, that's certainly the face of someone that likes their present."

At the sound of the familiar, light voice, I glanced up. Jasper had a small smile on his face as he leaned against the doorway, watching me.

"Oh, yeah," was all I could manage to say. My mind was like Jell-O right now with the knowledge that this gift hadn't been from Edward.

He took a couple steps toward me. "I remembered how much you liked these, and I'd had it stored in the back of my mind to get them for your birthday. I was going to wait until later to bring it by your apartment, but I figured now was as good a time as any. I hope you like them."

I tried to muster a smile. I hoped it looked legitimate. "They're beautiful. Thank you," I said, and stared down at the earrings.

The truth was that a big part of me was hoping these would be from Edward, and now that I knew they were from Jasper, it didn't feel right. What I craved was Edward's simplicity. He wasn't an extravagant kind of guy; his gifts came from his creative heart. There was a time when all I'd wanted were these diamond earrings, but now, what I desperately needed was a birdhouse.

"Bella?" he questioned, sounding concerned.

Coming out of my thoughts, my eyes lifted to his. "Yes?"

"I said why don't you try them on, so I can see how they look."

"Oh," I said, and removed the earrings from their holder. Once they were both fastened in my ears, I looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

"They look great on you," he said with a smile. "So, now, I have an important question to ask."

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"What are you doing here?"

I regarded him in confusion. "What?"

He chuckled lightly. "Why are you here at work, Bella?" he asked. "It's your birthday. You shouldn't be sitting here in a stuffy office. Take the day off, go have fun. You're only going to be twenty-eight once."

He didn't know that I actually hadn't planned on coming into work today. Now, here I was at work, on my birthday, when just last week, I was sure I would be with Edward.

"I've got some work to do, so…" I began to say, but trailed off when he shook his head.

"That's ridiculous," he said, and looked down at his watch. "How about this—we both take the day off and celebrate your birthday."

I could tell he was being thoughtful, and it was wrong of me to think, but I didn't want to go anywhere with him. If we went anywhere together, it would only remind me that I was supposed to be with someone else. I didn't want it to seem like Jasper was the guy that I had to settle with because the guy I actually wanted to spend my birthday with was done with me.

"You're hesitating," he observed. "Come on, it'll be great. We'll take a drive down to Olympia and go to that little bakery you love. Sound fun?" I emitted a small smile. I did like that bakery. "And then we can go to the _As Seen On TV_ store you used to try to drag me in. What was it that you wanted to buy from there?"

I snorted. "The dust mop slippers."

"Well, there you go," he said, "even though that's a waste of money and you know you won't use it—but anything to make you happy. So, let's go."

I sighed, still uncertain. The idea was tempting, because I didn't want to think about what my mind kept wallowing on, but then again, I didn't mind wallowing. At least then, a part of Edward would still be with me. "I don't know…"

"I'm putting my foot down, Bella. I'm getting your coat and we're going," he spoke, but it wasn't demanding. He was trying to make me feel better without bringing up what he knew I was thinking of. Maybe I needed that. To not think of Edward. It couldn't be healthy to dwell on him too much, especially considering I had all night to do that when Rose would come over again.

"Okay, let's go," I relented.

Jasper's office phone started to ring, and he turned his head toward it. "I think I need to take this. There's a chance it might be one of our new clients, John Locke, and I've been waiting for his call."

I nodded. "Go ahead."

He walked to his desk and glanced back at me before his fingers touched the phone. "Just two seconds, Bella. I promise. Sit down in the meantime," he said, and then picked up. "Jasper Whitlock speaking…Mr. Locke, good to hear from you…"

He unbuttoned his suit jacket and took a seat, absorbed in his conversation. I brought my hands up to my ears and removed the diamond earrings, suddenly feeling like they were too heavy. After I placed them back in the velvet box, I walked to his desk, set the box down on it, and took a seat to wait for him.

Glancing around aimlessly at all paintings on the walls, I thought of Edward, wondering what he was doing now. It was early, and he didn't work, so he was probably asleep. Had he thought of me at all? Even just a little bit? I wanted to think so, but the hope of that was growing smaller and smaller by the day.

Why hadn't he called me? Why didn't he even want to give me a chance to explain? Had he been so set in thinking that I would leave him for another man that he didn't regret breaking up with me over it? I just couldn't imagine that, because to be honest, it seemed so out of the blue that he would even think that. There'd only been once that he'd expressed having doubts about my platonic feelings towards Jasper. Could it be possible that this entire time, since we'd started dating, he'd harbored insecurities about Jasper and me?

I just couldn't comprehend how he couldn't see that it was him I wanted. What was worse was that he wouldn't hear of it when I tried to tell him. Maybe—no…I couldn't do that.

Wait…yes, I could.

Maybe I could go to his house and tell him in person how much he meant to me. He could certainly avoid my calls, but he couldn't avoid an impromptu visit from me. I'd already lost him, so what more did I have to lose? And no offense to Jasper in the least, but if I had the opportunity to get back together with my boyfriend or run around Olympia with him, I'd have to choose my boyfriend…ex-boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend for now, but boyfriend as soon as I went to him.

Hopefully.

All I could do was be hopeful. It was my birthday, and I wanted to seize this rare burst of confidence and go to where I needed to be.

"Jasper," I said, taking him out of his conversation.

"…and, if need be, we can fully reimburse you…" He stopped speaking, glancing at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I forgot that I have somewhere I have to be, so I'm going to go. You can keep talking," I whispered, as not to alert the person on the phone, and stood.

He furrowed his brow and shook his head. "Mr. Locke, I'm sorry, but can you hold for just a moment?" he asked, and then pressed the hold button on the telephone. He set the receiver down and regarded me. "What do you mean you have somewhere to be?"

"I know we were going to hang out, and thank you for your offer, but it turns out that I do have plans, so I'm just going to take off."

He remained still, his eyes analyzing me for longer than comfortable. "You're going to him, aren't you?"

Sometimes, I really disliked when he knew what was on my mind, but as it was, he was right. "I have to try," I spoke quietly. "I just need to speak with him."

"I understand, but the last thing that should be happening today, on your birthday, is you getting your heart broken by him again. He knew what he did when he broke up with you, and if he hasn't contacted you since that day, then the chances are that he's not going to hear you out now."

I wanted to cry, because that was a huge possibility, but I had to keep a positive attitude, here, and Jasper wasn't helping my cause. He needed to know just how much I had to do this.

"Jasper, do you know what it was like when you broke up with me?" I asked curiously.

His blue eyes changed, turning a shade duller. He shook his head in a silent response.

"Crushing," I answered for him. "I was destroyed. I spent months wondering what I did, and I cried myself to sleep every single night."

"Bella, you have to know that—"

"No, let me say this," I urged. "You breaking up with me was one of the worst things that ever happened to me, because I was sure that we'd end up together. I refused to allow myself to get over you in hopes that we might get back together. Of course, we didn't." My expression became softer, my mood shifting to one of lightness, happiness. "But then I met him…and for the first time, in a long time, I began to live again. He took away the loneliness, the depression, and the hopelessness that had become a part of my days.

"You told me I wasn't the one. Edward said that he felt that I could be the one. And not 'the one' like you think of it—that there's only one perfect person out there for you—but as in he wanted a future with me. He wanted to _try_. And I wanted to try with him. I still do. He may have broken my heart, and he may do it again, but if I don't at least try to fix us, then I'll regret it for the rest of my life."

His eyes fell to the desk, and he nodded. "I understand," he said, and paused for a beat. "Happy Birthday, Bella."

"Thank you," I replied, and quickly exited his office without a backward glance.

There was only one place I needed to be, and if Edward would see me again, hopefully, it would be where I stayed.

X-X-X-X

Driving down the familiar, secluded road to Edward's house was almost therapeutic. I had a strong, overpowering feeling that this was where I was meant to be. It was interesting, because I wasn't a believer in the supernatural or anything like destiny, but knowing I'd see him in a few minutes time, made me feel like I was going home.

As I anxiously pulled into his driveway, I slowed immediately. There was a dark red Volkswagen Beetle parked behind Edward's truck. Who was here? I hadn't seen that car before, and I knew Emmett definitely didn't drive _that_.

After setting my car in park, I unclicked my seatbelt and remained sitting. I wasn't sure if I wanted to get out. If there was someone else here, then I surely didn't want to intrude, but that begged the same question…_who was here?_

My curiosity was getting the better of me, and instead of thinking through it rationally, I opened the door and stepped out before I'd change my mind and drive home. I was here for a reason, and I was going to talk to him, Volkswagen Beetle be damned. As I'd told Jasper, if I didn't try to mend our relationship, I'd regret it for a long time.

My heart was hammering in my chest, one part of me anxious to see him and the other part terribly nervous. Once I'd opened the screen door and knocked, I fought the urge to close it and step back. I used to do that when I'd first met him, not feeling welcome, but I stopped once I started to regularly visit. In fact, sometimes, he'd kept the front door open for me if he knew I was coming, and all I'd have to do was open the screen and walk inside. But, of course, his door was closed now. I couldn't help but feel, metaphorically, it was like he closed the door on me.

I could hear someone's footsteps inside, but they didn't sound anything like Edward's masculine ones. These sounded like…slippers.

In a sudden instant, I felt like everything was all wrong. When the door unlocked and opened, my blood ran cold. A young, blonde woman stood in front of me, wearing nothing but a red silk robe and a thin, black, velvet choker around her long neck. She tied her silky belt into a loose knot as she assessed me. Dread overtook me as soon as my brain clicked, recognizing her. She was the waitress from that bar and grill Edward and I had gone to before we'd started dating.

"Hi," she greeted with a small smile, a slight rasp in her voice. "Can I help you?"

I was frozen, my heart jumping up into my throat. She was here, at Edward's house, at nine a.m. in the morning, dressed in a sensual bathrobe. To top it all off, she was naturally pretty, without a stick of makeup on.

She cleared her throat, taking me out of my neurotic thoughts.

"Hi," I replied, my broken tone giving me away. I tried to shake it off as best as I could, bottling my emotions.

"Oh," she suddenly said, as if realizing something. "Are you from the auction house Teddy sold his collection to?"

Teddy…?

_Teddy? _

My entire hopes and positive thoughts for how today was supposed to turn out completely disintegrated into dust, ash, nothing. There was no denying that not only had she spent the night here, but she was closely acquainted with Edward. I had a feeling he'd been dating someone else during our relationship, but I wanted so badly to hope that he'd stopped once I made it clear that I wouldn't share. And now…to know that not only had he _not_ stopped, but he continued seeing her as if I'd never existed! As if I'd meant squat to him.

"Um," I uttered, aware that it'd been a moment too long since I'd said anything. "Yes, I am."

He'd also told whoever the hell she was about his collection, something that meant so much to him. Did she know about his father's death, too? His mother's health, perhaps? How about that I'd saved his cigar box? Did he still even have it?

"You know, I'd get him up, but he likes to sleep in. He's not exactly a morning person," she said, and giggled.

_I know_, I snarled in my head.

"Yeah, don't wake him. I'm just going to go," I said, and quickly let go of the screen door.

"Wait," she spoke, holding the screen from bouncing closed. "Do you want me to tell him you stopped by? Is your name Rose, by the way?"

I cleared my throat, stalling from answering. I just wanted to get the hell out of here now. I didn't know how long I could hold back my emotions that were about ready to burst at the seams. "Yes, that's me," I lied.

"Oh!" she exclaimed with a smile. "It's me, Kate. You talked to me on Teddy's cell earlier. Remember, you thought you had the wrong number and hung up?"

Crap. Rose had spoken to her. She must've been confused when a random woman answered his cell phone. And she wasn't one to waste any time. Apparently…neither was Edward.

"Yeah, I remember," I said flatly. _I need to go, I need to go, I need to go. _"Don't worry about telling him anything. I'll call later on." That was a complete lie.

"Okay…sure," she said slowly, her bright, blue eyes becoming scrutinizing as they roamed over me.

Without another word, I turned around and walked hastily back to my car. I heard the screen door shut, followed by the main door. An angry tear slipped from my eye, conveying the resentment and rejection I harbored. I quickly rubbed it away, willing myself not to release more.

I wasn't going to feel sorry for myself and wish that Edward would come running back to me. No, this was almost a blessing in disguise. All this time, he'd been seeing someone else while with me. He'd told me a lot about himself, but he'd also kept things from me. What was worse was that he'd made me feel like it was because of me that our relationship ended. Was it possible that he'd used Jasper as an excuse to break things off with me so he could be with Kate?

After everything that I thought we'd shared together, after knowing that he'd gone out of his way to pursue me, after being completely and utterly honest with each other about our pasts, it never mattered to him.

What had he wished to get out of me? Had he just wanted to sleep with me? Did he honestly need two women for that? Apparently not, because I was no longer in the picture, and she was the one at his house, opening the front door to strangers in a bathrobe.

I wrenched open my car door, seeing nothing but red. On the surface, I was a tornado as I drove home in an angered state, my hands gripping the steering wheel, but buried deep within, there was a sadness I was forcibly keeping down. This would surely leave a permanent scar.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Aaaand Happy Birthday, Bella. One good thing, though—she told Jasper how much he hurt her. Progress.**

**You all wanted to know about the waitress.  
**

**Instead of posting the teaser on Saturday like I normally would, I will be posting chapter 18. So, you won't have to wait an entire week to read what happens next. Interesting stuff!  
**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**

**Rec: **

**Through the Oak Door by struckatthesky**

**Bella and Edward get together at a young age, but Bella sees a tragedy in her future through visions. She tries to do whatever she can to change it. I **_**just**_** got done reading this and all I can say is that I was nearly under my blankets from reading the most recent update. It's a combination of intriguing and scary. You have to read it. At least give it a try. By the end, you're going to most likely be screaming, but you're going to want to continue on. Trust me. Now, I will go change my sheets. **


	18. He Moved on from Me

**A/N:**

**Last chapter wasn't a good one for you guys. I told you there wouldn't be a long wait, though, so here it is earlier than usual.**

**Clarification: The choker Kate had on wasn't because she's into BDSM. It was a simple necklace that is tight around the neck. There was no significance of it. It was just an observation made by Bella about her attire. Edward is NOT a Dom, unless Fifty Shades somehow found his way into my story…**

**Beta is Lindz26. Shabbyapple pre-read and demanded pervy group hugs against my will. **

**Take a deep breath…and let's go.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN  
*HE MOVED ON FROM ME***

My birthday this year had been one of the worst birthdays I'd ever had. It even topped the time Mike Newton had vomited in my mother's decorative urn at the birthday party Alice had thrown for me in high school. My father and mother had been away, saying I could invite a few friends over. Needless to say, it got out of hand. I was banned to my room for two months. But even _that _didn't compare to my twenty-eighth birthday.

Rose had tried to cheer me up later on, bringing over my favorite ice cream. I told her everything, needing someone to talk to, someone that could be objective. I needed it, because my emotions were out of whack. One minute I was furious beyond belief, seething at Edward for jacking with my feelings, and the next, I was hopelessly depressed, sickened at myself for not being enough for him.

"You honestly think he's dating that choker bitch?" Rose asked me as we sat on the couch, facing each other. She'd taken it upon herself to call Kate the "choker bitch" based on the fact that she'd been wearing a black velvet choker when I saw her at Edward's house.

"He was definitely dating someone else while with me, and she fits the bill," I answered. Anyone would be able to see that they were dating.

"God, what a guy," she scoffed. "They can just get over a girl in the blink of an eye if they want to."

I furrowed my brow. "Get over?" I questioned. "I don't think there was anything to get over. We'd only been dating for a couple months, and he was probably already seeing her before me."

"Bella," she started, looking concerned, "there's absolutely no way that he didn't have anything to get over. He liked you a lot."

I sighed, frustrated, because she was getting this all wrong. "That's not true."

"Okay, for one, he told you all these personal things about himself, things he didn't need to bother telling you if he was just messing around with you, and two, you couldn't see how over the moon he was for you. It was sickening, Bella." She laughed, and part of me wanted to smile, but I didn't have it in me.

I wanted to believe that she was right, but it was easy to think that he'd played me, because that was less painful than realizing that he'd genuinely liked me and it had ended based on something that I could've prevented.

"That doesn't explain Kate," I noted, fighting myself not to spit her name.

She merely shrugged and gave me a reproachful look. "I really don't know what to say about that. Guys are…different to us. I'm not defending him, and I'm sure that he really liked you, but he might've cut off his feelings and…" Her voice trailed off, as if she didn't want to say the next part.

"And what?" I prompted, both wanting and not wanting to hear the answer.

"And just had sex." Her words were like knives piercing me repeatedly. "Sorry."

I tried my best to remain together. I knew what emotionless sex was like, since I'd only known that when I was a young girl, but now, I couldn't ever imagine having that kind of sex. I was sure that when Edward and I would've had sex, it would've been centered around deep feelings…but that'd never happen now.

But could he really have sex with someone he wasn't in a relationship with? I knew that he'd done all that in his college years, but he was older now, and like he'd said, he was different. However, it remained to be seen that Kate surely wasn't there for dinner and a movie.

He was definitely having sex with her.

But why? To fill a void? Did that mean he may have felt more for me than I gave him credit?

"It's okay," I assured in a sigh, and brought my feet onto the couch, drawing my knees up to my chest.

"That's such a bitch that you went down there and saw her," she said, almost to herself. Her eyes suddenly gleamed mischievously. "I've got an idea."

I regarded her warily. "What?"

She grabbed her purse off the ground, by the couch, and reached inside, pulling out her cell phone. "I'm going to call my dear boyfriend, who happens to have a big mouth, and get some info," she said, her thumb pressing buttons with determination.

"Wait, Rose," I urged, and she glanced up at me. "Don't. Please. I really don't want to bring anyone else into this."

She shook her head. "Don't worry; I'm not telling him what happened. I just want to know about the choker bitch."

I sighed and rested my chin on my knees. I wouldn't admit it, but I sort of wanted to know, as well. Who was she? How did she know Edward? Was she really just sleeping with him? Was she more than that?

Rose told me to be quiet as she put the phone on speaker and set it between us. On the third ring, Emmett answered.

"Hey, babe," he greeted. "I've only got ten minutes to talk before I have to close up the shop. What's up?"

"This won't take long," she assured. "I called Edward's phone today and this woman picked up. Her name is Kate or something. Who is she?"

"Why were you calling him? Getting bored of me, huh?" he asked teasingly, to which she rolled her eyes silently.

"Just answer the question, Em," she demanded.

"I've never met her, but he's told me about her. That's his ex-girlfriend. She stops around his house every now and then to see him." He chuckled. "Bet they're doing it."

I pressed my forehead to my knees as I listened with a heavy heart. His ex-girlfriend. That meant that they'd been serious at one point. Even if he wasn't dating her now, he was still seeing her sexually.

"Emmett," Rose scolded.

"Oh, shit. Wait a minute," Emmett said, sounding panicked. "Bella knows about Kate, right?'

Rose looked at me questioningly. I nodded my head, silently telling her how to answer.

"Yeah, she knows all about her," Rose said with a grimace.

"That's good. Edward would probably kill me if he knew I was talking about Kate when he hasn't told Bella first. I'm guessing he told her everything."

So, he had meant for this Kate to be a secret all along. He couldn't even tell me that he had a fuck buddy. Well, of course he wouldn't, because if I had known, I would've broken up with him. Was that why he never told me?

"Yep," Rose replied, her voice sounding nonchalant, but her expression showing her confusion.

"Shit, hun. I've gotta go. One of the guys just spilled the fucking grease all over the floor."

They both said a hurried goodbye with promises to talk to each other later. In that moment, I felt envious of her, not that I could help it, but she at least had someone. I was alone.

"I don't think he knows you two broke up," Rose observed. "I know Em's been busy lately, but I'm sure he's talked to Edward at least on the phone. He was acting like he didn't know."

I merely shrugged. There could be so many reasons why Emmett didn't know, but it probably had nothing to do with me, so I wasn't bothered.

"It's better off this way," she said with a weak smile. "You don't want to be with someone that didn't trust you with another guy, but then had someone of his own on the side."

I nodded, but that didn't mean I meant it. The truth was that I missed him. Everything about him. We had some issues towards the end, but in between all that, we had something really natural and deep. I was positive our relationship would've gone the distance, and it killed me that it had ended before it'd even begun.

X-X-X-X

The next week flew by. I threw myself into work, creating more to do than needed. It kept my mind busy throughout the day. At night, instead of sitting around in a depression, I got into the habit of going out with Rose for drinks at a piano bar. Sometimes, Jasper would tag along with us. It reminded me of the times the three of us used to casually hang out and just talk.

I'd forgotten how well all of us got along together. For a while now, I felt like I was friends with them individually, but not together like it used to be.

Jasper was still pretty upset over the fact that Alice had all but ditched him. I could see how much he tried to hide it and not talk about it. A few times, I'd tried to bring it up, hoping to be an ear for him, but he'd shut down or change the subject, so I gave up trying. In a way, I understood that method of coping. Anytime I'd hear Edward's name, I'd do my best to avoid discussing him. I just didn't want to deal with it.

One night, after work, I asked Rose and Jasper if they wanted to go out. Apparently, I'd tired Rose out, because she actually declined my invitation, saying she just wanted to go to bed early. Jasper said he wasn't in the mood for drinks, but that he wouldn't mind hanging out with me. I suggested my place, figuring I'd go there, anyway, so he followed me home.

"We should've picked up some food on the way over," he noted as he walked inside my apartment after me. He shut the door behind us, automatically placing his keys on the entryway table next to mine.

"I didn't think about it, but we can probably order some take out," I said, and walked into the kitchen. I opened one of the drawers, taking out some flyers for restaurants that delivered. "I have Italian, Chinese, Indian, Vietnamese…"

"I haven't had Vietnamese in a while. Let's do that," he said, and took the Vietnamese restaurant's flyer out of my hand. I smiled in agreement. I hadn't had it in a while, either. "What do you want? Egg rolls to start, as usual?"

"Yeah," I said, surprised he remembered what I liked. "And the lemongrass beef noodle soup, as well. I think they should still have the vegetarian spring rolls you like. It comes with the noodle soup now."

"Great." He reached in his pocket, taking out his phone.

"Let me get my credit card." I moved past him to go to my purse, but he stopped me, placing a cool hand on my arm. After a moment, I looked down, wondering why he hadn't moved it yet or said anything.

Suddenly, he retracted his hand and began pressing buttons on his cell phone. "I've got it," he offered, and disappeared into the living room.

"Thank you," I said loud enough for him to hear, but he didn't respond.

The Vietnamese restaurant wasn't too far away, so it hadn't taken long for the delivery. We sat on my couch, the food spread out on the coffee table as we ate while talking about work, which was my distraction lately.

"I think Locke is considering going through another auction house, one with a better deal than ours. I don't know if there's anything I can do," Jasper said, biting into a spring roll.

"Then let him. Didn't you say that the value of his collection isn't worth as much as you thought?"

"Yes, but it's good for the house to showcase a variety of antiques with different values."

I took a sip of my bottle of water and placed it back on the table. "What did your dad say about it?"

"I'm trying to get out of the habit of relying on him for advice, so nothing as of yet." He set his half eaten spring roll down and leaned back against the couch with a sigh.

I watched him for a few seconds, wondering why he looked so downcast. "What's on your mind?"

His clear blue eyes found mine, showing some sort of turmoil. "I'd like to talk about something you said to me last week."

Oh…he was referring to when I'd told him how I'd felt when he broke up with me. We hadn't discussed it further after that, and I figured he'd forgotten about it. Apparently not.

"You said you were crushed by our breakup," he continued. "I had a hard time coming to terms with that, because you appeared to be so indifferent the entire time."

"I wasn't indifferent."

"You were indifferent, Bella," he spoke firmly. The way he was speaking to me, it was like he was arguing with me. He was upset about this.

"I may have appeared like that, but I wasn't," I stated. "What does it matter if I looked indifferent or not? It wouldn't have changed the outcome."

He let out an aggravated sigh and stood. He gathered some of the empty takeout boxes on the coffee table, looking deep in thought.

"Jasper, what's going on?" I asked, worried over his out of character behavior.

He straightened himself up, the takeout boxes stacked in his hand. "I talked to Rose." He looked at me, waiting for me to say something in reply, but I didn't know where he was going with that. "About what you told me the other day."

"You talked to her about us?" I questioned, but instantly furrowed my brow at myself. There was no _us_. There was him and there was me.

He set the boxes back on the coffee table and took a seat on the floor. "I needed someone to talk to, and she has a way of telling it like it is. She didn't tell me anything about what you've said about me, only her own opinions…but I sort of gathered that if she's thinking those things, then so are you."

Oh Lord, what did she say? Did I want to know? Maybe something like this would've piqued my interest a while back, but my mind was in a completely different sphere right now.

"When we…" he began to say, taking the liberty of continuing; however, he seemed to be struggling with what to say. His blue eyes held a storm of emotions as he stared at me. "I've been a huge ass, Bella. I've taken you for granted and used you, not even considering once how it would make you feel."

I looked away. I didn't want to face this. I was already dealing with one set of emotions, and the last thing I wanted to do was rehash another set—one that was supposed to remain buried.

"It's in the past, Jasper. Just forget it," I assured.

"Hear me out for a minute, okay?" he requested, to which I relented with a sigh. "There are lots of things that should be addressed, but I think I can only handle one thing right now. When I met Alice, it was an instantaneous attraction, but it was predominately physical at first. After a while, I became swept up in the notion of being with someone that made me feel like an entirely different person when I was with her, and I think that fueled me to push her into becoming more. And she did…for a while…but we know how that ended up.

"I never once stopped to consider how it would affect you or the fact that she was your cousin. I was blind, and I would say I'm sorry, but that doesn't even cover how I feel. In the end, I was played, and somehow, you're still here. How is that?"

I shrugged. "We know almost everything about each other, Jasper. It's hard to stop caring about someone, even when they've broken your heart."

He nodded absentmindedly, looking lost in his thoughts. "I broke your heart," he spoke quietly.

"Yeah, you did," I replied honestly. "But that was a while ago. I wasn't completely over it for a time, but now I am. I have no hard feelings, okay? I don't think I ever have."

He chuckled mirthlessly. "See, that I don't understand. If it were me, I probably would've held a grudge."

"Well, I'm me and you're you. There are certain things in my life that I've held a grudge against, but nothing that involves you, because I know you're a good person deep down. I've seen it firsthand since I've known you."

"I know something you've held a grudge against."

Oh no…had Rose told him about Alice? I'd never discussed it with him, considering I sort of lied to him during our relationship and said I didn't have any cousins. I couldn't imagine how he'd take hearing something like that.

"What?" I asked warily.

He suddenly chuckled lightly. "The food at Chilli's at a rest stop on our way to California last year.

I laughed abruptly, amused at the memory. "There was a fly in my pickle."

"All we had to do was ask for a new pickle, but no, you wanted to leave."

"The place was tainted after that," I said in defense.

He shook his head with a smile, but his expression became serious. "I miss this. Just us talking. I know that I have a lot to make up for, and I'm going to try my best. Just know that I have a thousand acquaintances, but you're the only friend I hold dear to me. Somewhere, I lost sight of that, took advantage of it, but even though we're not together like we used to be, you will always be my friend. There hasn't been a time where you haven't been there for me, and it's time I'm there for you in return."

I was a bit stunned at his words. A big part of me did miss how close we used to be and how we used to talk. Plus, we did have something in common right now…we'd both been dumped by people we fell for.

"If that's the case," I said, gearing myself up, "I think there's something you should know."

For the next twenty minutes, he listened as I shared with him my time in Italy, something I'd never been open with him about. I relayed the gory details about the last night I saw Alice there, and how she'd left me in a dangerous situation. He was quiet, not showing any emotion. Finally, once I finished, he merely breathed in deeply, a hard expression on his face.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that?" he asked finally.

I shrugged. "It wasn't something I particularly wanted to remember."

"She told me once that she wronged you and was trying to earn back your trust, but she never explained further than that," he said softly, a crease in his brow. He suddenly scoffed. "Now I see why she concealed that from me, because if I had known, I never would've gotten involved with her."

"Look," I started, "I've come to realize one thing about her. She's not a malicious person or sets out to do bad things to people. She's just careless and irresponsible. She doesn't understand that her actions cause people pain."

He nodded. "You told me a while back that she'd hurt me."

I could've said that I had, but that wouldn't have been helping either of us, so I didn't respond to him.

"How are you holding up?" he questioned cautiously, and I stiffened slightly, knowing what he was talking about.

I shrugged, acting as if I didn't care. "Fine."

"You don't have to hide it from me, Bella. I've been honest with you about Alice, and I hope you can do the same."

I sighed and sagged my shoulders, feeling the weight of my emotions on them. "It's hard. I don't really like to think about it."

"I understand," he said. "I don't mean to defend the guy, and to be honest, I want kill him for what he did to you…but if it's any consolation, I could tell he liked you a lot."

I'd been coming to realize the same thing. At first, I wanted to believe that Edward had used me, because that was easier to come to terms with than him simply abandoning me, but now, after I'd had some time to deliberate it all, it was clear that Edward really did like me.

"I know," I agreed. But even with that knowledge, it still had never been enough for him to work things out and commit to me.

"Man," he said in exasperation. "Look at us, sitting here, talking about people that hurt us. They probably don't even care."

"I guess not," I muttered. After all, Edward hadn't bothered to contact me. And if he hadn't yet, then chances were that he wouldn't. The thought of that caused a tightening in my stomach. It didn't help that the same words kept running over and over in my head.

_I'll never see him again. _

X-X-X-X

Another week went by, and another, and another, turning March into April. Every day that passed, things became a little easier. I grew a little stronger. As much as I wished things could be different, I was coming to terms with the fact that my relationship with Edward was over. And although I still held a little resentment over the whole breakup, I couldn't handle torturing myself with thoughts about it, because to be honest, I went back and forth wondering whether it was my fault he ended things or it was his.

Maybe it was no one's fault. Maybe it was just meant to be…

Either way, our lives no longer crossed paths. He was most likely with…that girl, and I was busy with my career.

One thing that had been improving, however, was my friendship with Jasper. We hadn't discussed anything more about our past relationship, and quite frankly, I didn't think either of us wanted to. Though, I could see how hard he was trying to be friends with me again.

At the end of the third week in April, Rose and I decided to have some girl time. We were going to make piña coladas at her place, and I couldn't wait.

After work, I stopped off at a grocery store, wanting to buy the pineapples that would hold our alcohol. I also wanted to get those cute little umbrellas that go in drinks.

I walked toward the fruit section with my basket. When I approached the pineapples stand, there was a woman there. I told her to excuse me as I searched for two pineapples that would work for the occasion. There was one that looked a decent size, so I picked it up and was about to put it in my basket, when the woman next to me cleared her throat softly. She was my height with long, auburn hair and clear eyes that were looking at me intently.

"That pineapple you picked won't taste as well as it should," she remarked, and picked up another one, holding it to me. "See this one? There's hardly any green on it. The higher up its true color is, the sweeter the fruit will be." She took the pineapple I had in my hands and replaced it with the new one.

"Um, thank you," I said in surprise. I'd just gotten schooled on pineapples.

"You can also smell it. It'll smell sweet if it's ripe, but you'll know it's not if it doesn't have a scent at all."

I smiled at the pineapple aficionado next to me. I never bothered to know about these things. "That's good to know, uh…?" I prompted.

"Irina," she answered.

"Well, thank you, Irina. I just learned something new about pineapples." I chuckled, picked up another ripened pineapple, and placed it in my basket.

"Oh, sorry if I came off like a know-it-all, but I could just see you going home and blaming the grocery store for putting out pineapples that didn't taste good."

I shook my head. "No, you're fine. How did you know about that, anyway?"

She smiled. "It's sort of my job. I'm a chef at a restaurant."

"Really? Anywhere in town?" I asked curiously. If she knew this much about fruit, then she most likely made good food.

"Yeah. Have you heard of Canlis?"

"Yes," I replied, shocked. "That's one of my favorite restaurants. I haven't been there in a little while, but I'd love to go back one of these days. The food there is amazing."

Her grin widened. "Well, thank you. The menu hasn't changed much."

"That's good to know. How long have you worked there?"

"About three years now. I'm hoping to start my own Italian-Japanese fusion restaurant soon. Sounds weird, I know, but you'd be surprised how many people like the idea. "

"Irina, did you say you wanted nonfat or low-fat?" a man asked behind me. My body went rigid, because I _knew_ that voice.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Edward walking toward us as he stared down at two cartons of milk in his hands. As soon as his eyes lifted, they instantly found mine. There seemed to be no visible change in his expression, other than a small twitch on his brow as he stopped next to Irina.

He looked different, in a good way. His hair was a tad longer, and it seemed like he was fitter, his shoulders broader, and his forearms more toned in a blue plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. There was also a pair of rimless glasses that were perched on the bridge of his nose. I'd never gotten to see them on him before, even though I'd wanted to.

I always thought that if I saw him again, I'd be angry and resentful that he couldn't have even kept in contact with me after all we'd shared together, but I couldn't find the emotions in me to be that way. It was clear, as ever, I still had deep feelings for him. It was also clear he did not, with the way he barely acknowledged my presence.

He didn't stay looking at me for very long at all, his eyes going directly to Irina. They gazed at each other with comfortable familiarity that my now knotting stomach didn't like.

"Low-fat will work," she answered, taking one milk carton from him and placing it in the cart behind her. "I was just bugging this poor woman about pineapples." She laughed.

He smiled at her genuinely. How could he just ignore me like this? I mean, did he even remember me? Surely he did. I needed to see some sort of an acknowledgment from him for my own sanity.

"Edward," I greeted, trying to keep my voice even and willing my heart to be quiet as it sped up in anticipation.

His eyes jerked to mine, conveying…absolutely nothing.

"Oh, you know each other?" Irina questioned in surprise.

Edward cleared his throat, turning his attention back to her. "She works at the auction house as an assistant."

That was all I was? An assistant? I couldn't even get introduced as a one-time girlfriend? Not even a former friend? Not even an acquaintance?

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to throw these pineapples at him.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.

For weeks—_weeks_—I had thought of this man, torturing myself with how things had ended between us, wondering if he was thinking about me. Now, I had to question, what had I even meant to him?

I was positive that my torturous weeks had been completely one-sided. Here he was, treating me like a stranger, having one girl answer his door at his house in nothing but a bathrobe and then having another go milk shopping with him.

Who the hell was he?

Was this the same guy who bought me flowers, even though he couldn't afford them? Was this the guy who made me birdhouses that I still had sitting on my desk? The guy who bared his soul to me about his mother? How about the guy who shared my bed on more than one occasion and held me skin-to-skin?

Had I been deceived all that time?

"Really?" she asked with a grin. "I heard you sold his entire collection. You all are amazing."

Edward turned his head to the side, appearing bored.

I smiled weakly. Why did this woman have to be nice? "I really had nothing to do with the selling part. Though, I did purchase something from the collection." I stared at him. _Do you remember that, Edward? _

I abruptly glanced down to see his hand settle intimately on the small of Irina's back.

Oh.

That was why he was acting as if he barely knew me. This woman obviously meant more to him than just a quick fix, like that other girl had been. Irina smiled at him before looking back at me.

He'd moved on. And with someone that seemed great, too. She was kind, generous, and on top of that was casually pretty, dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a white tank top. She _definitely_ wasn't a quick fix.

The emotions inside me resembled a low flame, slowly diminishing as it got to the end of the candle's wick.

If she knew about the collection, then she probably knew about his mother, too. Maybe he'd confided in her more than he'd ever done with me. There was so much that he'd been reluctant to share during our time together.

I should've felt depressed that I had to see him with someone else when I hadn't moved on. I wasn't dating anyone and was still quite hung up on him. However, I couldn't say that I wished I had someone, because my feelings for him had been genuine, and even though we wouldn't be together again, I couldn't just up and date another man at the drop of a hat. I just wasn't that kind of person.

"I have these antique dolls my mother has sitting up in her attic that belonged to her grandmother," Irina said. "I think I'd like to get them appraised. Do you happen to have a card on—?"

"I'll give you their number when we go home," Edward chimed in.

Home? I didn't even want to think about the implications of that.

It was time for me exit, stage left.

"Well, thanks for helping me with the pineapples," I said to Irina, trying not to sound stiff toward her. It wasn't her fault; after all, she was pretty much just an innocent bystander—one that was with the guy I still harbored feelings for.

"No problem at all. And make sure you come to Canlis soon. You can ask for me. I'm always there."

I didn't think I could ever go back there now. "Oh, thank you," I replied, and looked at Edward one last time, trying to memorize him, because I knew this would be the last time we saw each other.

There was so much I wanted to say to him, so much that needed to be said that I felt had never been resolved between us, but it was apparent that it didn't matter to him. But if I could, I'd probably say, "Edward, our time together meant more to me than you could ever imagine. You helped me find an inner strength I never thought I could have. I told you personal things about myself, and you told me things, as well, and I will always treasure those moments. Although there were many ifs and buts in our relationship, I wanted you in my life. I knew, given time, I would've fallen deeply in love with you."

But I couldn't say any of that.

In the end, I settled for, "Goodbye, Edward." I hoped it conveyed every bit of what I should've said.

My eyes shifted away from his just as they almost connected with mine. I didn't want to see the indifference there; I'd already seen enough of it.

I wasn't sure where the future lay, but I definitely couldn't dwell on the past anymore. So, as I walked away from him and toward the checkout counter, I didn't let myself look back. Maybe now, I could finally find closure.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Oh, Bella. She really feels it all. She aired things out with Jasper, which was good. Edward, on the other hand, well...what more can she do? **

**Next update: Tuesday! I hate going off schedule. So, you can wait three-ish days, right? It'll be epic, and you'll want to read. **

**I'll be sending out a small teaser to those that review. It's worth it. *whispers* Something to do with Edward. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	19. He Shocked Me

**A/N:**

***falls over and dies* That was some reaction there. I thought the chapter before last was big, but this was even bigger. You'd laugh at how many reviews I anticipated, versus how many I actually got. I had to send out over 750+ teasers. If you didn't get a teaser, it's most likely because you left an anonymous review. **

**You all were angry with him ignoring Bella, but were also sad that he had seemingly moved on. We've still got a bit of a ways to go until this story is finished, so let's just read on. **

**Beta is Lindz26. Thanks to shabbyapples and jesicka309 for prereading. Both of them make me love-hate them, but right now I only have love for them after they helped me with this chapter. A special thanks to SammieLynnsMom who rec'd me in her story, Blind Intentions. She's one of my loves and her fic is a great read, for those that haven't checked it out. **

**PLEASE READ: I've had some of my readers come to me, expressing that the idea of my chapter titles has been plagiarized by another author in her story. This issue has been resolved in private with the author, and I've come to terms that it was sheer coincidence and no maliciousness was meant. I would appreciate the threatening messages to her to cease. I'm really honored you guys want to protect me and my story, but I don't want to draw any more attention to this. Thank you.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER NINETEEN  
*HE SHOCKED ME***

"Sweetie, don't worry about making anything. I'll take care of it all."

"At least let me help."

"If you want."

"Okay, good," I said, satisfied.

Tomorrow was Easter Sunday, and I was currently on the phone with my mother. I had plans to go up to my parents' house, but my father had to work at the station, so Mom was coming to the city to be with me for the day.

"I'm looking forward to seeing Rose. That girl is a sweetheart," my mother gushed. "I forgot to ask, have you invited Jasper?"

"Mom, I'm sure he'll be with his parents." He hadn't said anything yesterday at work, but I just assumed.

"It doesn't hurt to ask."

I sighed. "Alright, I will."

We talked a little more, discussing what we should eat and then hung up with a promise to see each other tomorrow.

I spent my Saturday lazing around the apartment in my sweats, reading, watching television, and keeping my mind occupied. There was a certain reason I wanted to.

Today was Edward's birthday.

If I let myself, I could easily daydream about what he was doing this moment, who he was doing it with. He was twenty-nine now, one more year until thirty. Was he scared to be nearing a whole decade older, or was he content with the thought, like me? If we'd still been together, what would we have been doing?

I needed to stop. This was exactly why I was watching…ESPN…?

There was a knock on my door, and I gladly flew off my couch to answer it, even though I had no clue who was here. A moment later, Jasper stood in the hallway, dressed in his dark blue work suit and holding a bottle of wine.

"Jasper, what are you doing here...dressed like that?" I asked, confused.

"Can I come in or should I just stay out here for the evening?" He chuckled.

"Oh, sorry." I moved to the side to let him pass, then shut the door after him. "So…?"

"This is for you," he said, and handed me the wine. It was a bottle of Baralo, which was one of my favorites.

I smiled. "Wow. You didn't have to, but thank you. What's the occasion?"

He took the bottle from me and walked into the kitchen. I followed after him, watching as he opened a drawer and pulled out a corkscrew. Once he uncorked the bottle, he easily found two wine glasses and poured out the contents. He was getting quite used to knowing his way around my apartment, since he'd been coming over a lot. I hadn't dared to journey over to his penthouse once since…well, since I last saw Edward there.

"The occasion" —he passed me a glass— "is for Mrs. Anderson deciding to use us to sell her painting."

I gasped with a smile, and we clinked our glasses together. "That's great, Jasper. I was positive she wouldn't."

We both took a sip in brief silence.

"Well," he started, bringing the glass down from his lips, "she called this morning out of the blue and asked for an appraisal. We got it x-rayed, authenticated, and she signed the papers. It's all because of you, you know?"

I furrowed my brow. "Me? What did I do?"

"You're the one that encouraged her."

Mrs. Anderson was a newly widowed, middle-aged woman. When she stopped by the auction house during the week, I could tell she had a huge hole in her heart. Her husband's dying wish had been for her to sell a painting that had been in his family for generations. I suppose he worried about her financial security, which was truly sweet. It was easy to tell, however, that she was reluctant to see it go. She actually decided not to sell the painting and walked out before we even agreed to an appraisal. I caught up to her as she reached the lobby and explained that she wouldn't be doing this for herself, she would be doing it for her husband's peace of mind, because he loved her. She still left that day, and I was sure I hadn't gotten through to her.

"Every word I said to her was true. I wasn't just trying to get her to sell for our benefit," I clarified.

He smiled. "I know," he spoke softly. "You're a good person like that. It's one of the many things I've always admired about you." He remained looking at me for a beat longer than I felt comfortable with, so I nodded and walked out into the living room.

He chuckled as he followed me, regarding the television screen. "ESPN, Bella? Who's playing?"

I snorted, because he knew I didn't watch sports. I quickly found the remote to shut it off. "Some baseball team or the other."

We sat on the couch with our wine, taking silent sips for a couple minutes. I finally remembered the conversation my mother and I had earlier. I was about to address it, when he suddenly spoke.

"So, tomorrow, I'll be going to see my parents for Easter."

See? This was exactly what I told my mother.

"Oh, that's good," I said. "Did you book your ticket?"

"I reserved tickets, but I didn't book them."

"Tickets?" I asked. "Are you taking someone with you?" Was he dating? I figured he would've told me, if so. We'd been pretty open with each other lately.

"Hopefully," he answered, and set his wine glass on the coffee table. He turned back to me, wearing an anxious expression. "My parents inquired if you could come with me. I said I would ask. I know it's last minute, but they really would like to see you…and I'd like to spend Easter with you."

I didn't answer for a moment, just staring at him. "Oh," I uttered. "I actually have plans with my mom. She's coming up here tomorrow."

He smiled, chuckling as he shook his head. "That's what I told them, but they insisted to the point of breathing down my neck. Of course you'd spend it with your family."

"My mom actually asked if you'd come, but I understand you have plans with your parents."

He looked surprised. "She did?"

"Yeah." I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course she would. She was practically in love with him.

He looked in thought. "My mother's going to be upset, I think."

"Why?"

"Because I'll be here with you."

My brow wrinkled. "You don't have to come just because you were invited. Go to your parents, Jasper. I'm sure they're dying to see you."

He shook his head. "I told you; I want to spend Easter with you, Bella. It doesn't matter if it's there or here, as long as I'm with you."

The room went silent, save for the increasing beat of my heart. I was suddenly uncomfortably nervous and dodged my eyes to the side. "Okay," was all I could respond with.

A few seconds passed and no words were exchanged between us. I took sips of my wine to compensate. It wasn't until he suddenly moved closer to me, his body angled my way, that I knew he had something to say. I also had a feeling that I didn't want to know.

"Bella," he spoke gently, and took the wine glass away from my lips, setting it down on the table. After, he grasped both my hands in his, ones that weren't rough in the least. "We've been very honest with each other as of late, and I'm so glad that we've been able to repair our friendship." He glanced down at our hands, before looking directly into my widened eyes. "There's one thing I haven't been honest with you about. I've been coming to terms lately with my feelings…"

"Jasper," I uttered quietly. _Please, don't. _

"I was such an idiot—a blind, stupid idiot. I let perhaps the best thing in my life go because of an idea I had of what I thought I wanted."

"Jasper, please." I was practically begging. My entire body felt weak, my hands slackened in his hold.

"I'm falling in love with you again."

A burst of energy found its way inside me, and I took advantage by abruptly standing. I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked to my balcony door and looked through the glass, out onto the darkened road that was illuminated by street lights.

"You're just confused because of Alice," I reasoned, though deep down, I knew that wasn't true.

I heard him get off the couch, and in a flash, his hands were at my shoulders, turning me around. I didn't look at his face, but instead, settled on his chest.

"That's not the case at all," he said. "I loved the idea of Alice, but I was never in love with her. I will admit that I wanted to love her, and I tried very hard, but it didn't happen. I loved you before, Bella. But this…right now…this is so much stronger."

He tilted my face up, and his lips suddenly pressed against mine gently. My eyes were wide open, not surprised that he would do this, but surprised that I felt that tingling sense of familiarity. For a second, I wanted myself to respond, and I even tried, my recent loneliness egging me on. I wanted my broken heart to be mended. But I couldn't bring myself to continue, and knowing that made me angry.

I pulled back abruptly, stopping our movements.

"I love you, Bellsy," he whispered, his eyes shut. I could hear the sincerity and emotion in voice, causing my nostrils to flare.

I turned my back on him, choosing to look out onto the street again. Rage and infuriation were brewing inside of me. How dare he…? How dare he tell me this?

"You don't have to say anything back…" he said softly, which only made me angrier.

I spun around to face him again, glowering venomously. "You don't have to worry about that, because I absolutely _won't_ say anything back," I spat. "It took me forever to fall out of love with you, but I did. And now, the guy I would give anything to have love me wants nothing to do with me and has moved on. And you know whose fault that is for him breaking up with me?"

His brow was furrowed. "Bella—"

"Yours," I snapped, cutting him off. "So, how dare you kiss me without permission and tell me you love me. It's all _your_ fault he's gone. If it wasn't for you, we'd still be together."

"Now, wait a minute. How is that my fault?"

"He broke up with me because he thought I was still in love with you," I admitted angrily, but beneath was a layer of sorrow resting dormant. He didn't respond, so I took the opportunity to walk around him and to the door. I turned the knob with a force and jarred it open, not looking back at him once. "You need to leave."

I heard his footsteps growing closer to the door slowly. He was taking forever, and I just wanted him the hell away from me.

He stopped in front of me, causing me to look up. His sharp blue eyes stayed steady on my fierce ones. "I'm sorry that I kissed you without permission," he spoke calmly, "and I'm sorry that my feelings for you have upset you. However, I don't regret telling you. I was speaking the truth." He took a few steps out into the hall and then turned back around. "Edward breaking up with you isn't my fault, Bella. It's his. You need to see that."

My grip tightened around the knob as he walked down the hall and out of my sight. I slammed the door brutally. Tears were streaming down my face, but I wasn't crying. No, I was enraged and bitter—mad at Jasper, mad at Edward, and more than anything, mad at myself.

X-X-X-X

I felt like crap and didn't feel like seeing anyone today, but when my mother showed up at my place the next morning, carrying a million grocery bags, I tried to put on my happiest face, as not to worry her.

We immediately went into the kitchen and talked about how my father was doing as we removed the groceries from the bags. We flowed into preparing everything all at once—the roast, side dishes, even the dessert.

"Is Rose running a little late?" she asked as she mashed potatoes in a bowl. She passed it to me to finish, so she could monitor the roast in the oven.

"She's not coming," I answered.

I had called Rose last night, needing her to ease my frustrations. She listened to me for about an hour solid as I rehashed how Jasper kissed me, told me he loved me, and I kicked him out. At the end of the conversation, she told me that Emmett asked her at the last minute if she'd like to meet his parents, and she agreed, which meant she couldn't spend Easter with me.

I was happy for her, because that was a huge step in their relationship. Of course, I wished her the best and said she'd be missed. Before we hung up, she told me that Edward was invited, too, and they were picking him up this morning to drive to Spokane, where Emmett's parents were. For my own benefit, I didn't acknowledge that she would be seeing Edward. I simply said to have a good time.

"Oh, that's a shame," my mom replied. "I was looking forward to seeing her."

"She wanted to see you, too."

"Looks like it'll just be the three of us."

I cleared my throat and stopped mashing. "Jasper's not coming, either." Not after last night.

She furrowed her brow, looking at me curiously for a moment. I tried to hide any sort of emotion from her. "Okay," she said simply, and took the bowl of mashed potatoes from me.

"It'll be fun," I assured. "Just you and me—girl time." I chuckled.

She smiled and leaned toward me, kissing my forehead. "That's true."

I walked to the fridge and opened it. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Do you want to talk about it?" she countered.

I sighed, knowing full well she wouldn't just drop the subject, and reached into the fridge for a bottle of water. "Is water okay?"

"Yep," she answered, and took it from me. She drank from it as she watched me patiently.

"Jasper told me he loves me."

She set the bottle on the counter, her face brightening. "Honey, that's great." However, she immediately frowned when she saw my sullen expression. "No…?"

I shook my head. "No."

She nodded and leaned against the counter. "I can see why. You don't feel the same way for him anymore."

I looked away. "Part of me thinks it'll be easier if I do…"

"What'll be easier?" she asked. "Have you met someone else?"

"Yes..."

"Why do you sound so depressed about that? That's fantastic, Bella."

"We're not exactly together anymore, that's why," I admitted. She wrapped an arm around my shoulder and moved a stray hair out of my face. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Don't worry. I just want you to be happy, sweetie."

"I know you want me to be with Jasper…"

She shook her head. "No. I only want what you want. I thought he was what you wanted. If you don't want to be in a relationship with him, then don't be. And certainly don't force yourself to be with him just because you think it would be easier."

I nodded, but didn't respond.

"You know, when your father and I met, I was working at a record store just here in the city," she said, and I smiled, because she'd told me this story several times, but I always liked hearing it. "For six weeks, he came in every Sunday and stood by the same rack of albums for thirty minutes and then would leave. I used to get annoyed that he'd never buy anything, until I once caught him looking at me. It took him another four weeks to get up the courage to speak to me. Our relationship wasn't perfect after that. Did you know we broke up after a little over a year of dating?"

"Really?" I asked, shocked and slightly horrified. "Why have I never known that?"

"I wasn't going to tell my daughter, who idolized her parents, that we weren't always together. But I think now you might understand. He wanted to marry me, and I wanted to marry him, but we both wanted different things. I was still in college and wanted to remain in the city once I graduated, and he wanted to move out to Forks. We couldn't reach an agreement, so we broke up. A year passed, and I dated other guys, and I'm sure he dated other women. But we came back together, you know why?"

"No, why?"

"Because apart from our differences, we still loved each other. And if you love someone, you make it work—you compromise. So, that's what we did. We made a deal that we'd stay in Seattle until we were ready to have a family." She brought me closer to her, squeezing my arm in a comforting way. "Jasper is a great boy—handsome, rich, polite, but perhaps being with him was more of a fantasy."

I furrowed my brow. I'd never thought of it that way.

There was a knock on my front door, interrupting our conversation.

"You go ahead and answer. I need to chop some vegetables," she said.

I made my way out of the kitchen and to the door. However, once it was opened, I kept a tight hold on the knob, my stiff body blocking entry.

"What are you doing here?" I asked snippily.

"I was hoping the invitation was still open," Jasper said, looking nervous. The nerve!

"I think me kicking you out yesterday was my way of saying, 'You're uninvited.'"

"I'm sorry, okay? I thought about it all last night, and I realize now I shouldn't have said anything. I don't want to lose your friendship."

"Jasper?" I heard my mother ask behind me. She stepped right up to the door, peering over my shoulder. "Hey, honey. I thought you weren't coming."

"Hi, Mrs. Swan. Well, I'd like to be here…that's if it's okay with Bella," he said with a small, cautious smile.

If I had my way, I'd slam the door in his face again, but I wasn't going to be rude in front of my mother, so I shrugged noncommittally and stepped aside, giving him permission. He walked inside, his eyes on me the entire time. I shut the door after him and walked into the kitchen as my mother and he chatted. There was a chopping board set up with an abandoned carrot. I grabbed the knife, carrot, and diced it brutally, taking my frustrations out on it.

It all made me angry. Why wasn't Jasper as this decided back when we were actually together? Why couldn't Edward have been like this instead?

"Honey, honey, stop," my mother said urgently, coming right up to me and halting my hands' movement. I sighed and dropped the knife, letting it clatter to the counter. "Jasper is in the living room. If you don't want him here, you need to tell him to leave, but if you're determined to have him here, then deal with it and go out there."

I breathed in deeply. I wasn't sure whether I wanted him here or not. My anger from last night seemed to be back in full force. In the mean time, the ringtone of my phone was going off in the living room.

"Bella?" Jasper called. "Your phone."

I walked out to see Jasper sitting on the couch. As soon as he saw me, he stood quickly and pointed to my cell phone on the coffee table.

"I didn't look at it," he assured.

I glared at him before picking it up.

_**Please don't hate me. – Rose**_

What on earth did that mean?

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"None of your business," I muttered, and brought up a new text box.

"Who is it, Bella?" my mother hollered from the kitchen.

"It's just Rose," I answered, and began punching in buttons.

_**Why would I hate you? – Bella**_

I waited for a response, but there was none. After a few moments, I gave up and set it back on the table. My eyes shifted to Jasper, who was waiting for me to say something, but I had nothing to say.

"Are we going to talk?" he asked.

"No," I answered tersely.

He quirked an eyebrow. "Bella, c'mon."

With as much as I didn't want to talk about last night, there was one thing in particular that I was itching to say. "Fine. Balcony."

We walked to the balcony doors, and he opened one, allowing me to walk ahead of him. When we stood face-to-face, the sounds of traffic filling the air, I took the liberty of speaking first.

"All I want to say to you is that you had your chance back when we were dating, and now you just expect me to be in love with you again after that? What kind of person do you think I am?"

"I told you that you didn't need to say it back—"

"I don't want to talk about it," I spoke hurriedly, cutting him off rudely.

"Now, wait a minute," he started, aggravated, "you got your say in, and now that I have something to say, you don't want to hear it?"

I nodded. "Exactly."

"Fine," he relented, surprising me. "We won't discuss it now—but it's not over."

"Yes, it is," I stated, insinuating a lot more than just this conversation.

"Look, I just want to be your friend. I'm sorry that I told you my feelings. It was way too soon for something like that. Please, Bella, just allow me to still be your friend."

I sighed in defeat. Why did he even want to be my friend after I just denied him? "You're still my friend."

"Good." He grinned, all the frustration gone from his face.

I scoffed. "You may be my friend, but I don't have to like you right now."

He chuckled, clearly finding it amusing, but I was dead serious. I rolled my eyes and walked inside without another word. He followed soon after and was about to close the door, when my mother called out to keep it open, to avoid the fire alarms being set off from the cooking.

We spent the next twenty minutes watching TV in tense silence, since my mother kept shooing me out of the kitchen when I'd ask to help. I let him watch whatever he wanted, because I wasn't in the mood, but he ended up picking something he knew I'd like—the Food Network. He was trying to get back into my good graces, clearly. Wasn't working.

I could hear his cell phone vibrating. He took it out from his pocket and stared down at it. He didn't move or do anything for a moment, and I was almost tempted to ask if he was okay. Finally, he answered it at the same time he stood.

"What?" he asked, and walked over to the balcony doors. After a giant pause, he brought the phone down from his ear and merely stared at the screen.

"Jasper?" I questioned curiously.

He turned to me with a small smile. "The signal cut off. I need to return this call, so I think I'll go downstairs and make it. Is that okay?"

I shrugged, bewildered as to why he wouldn't just use the balcony, but I'd rather not speak to him anymore than I already had to.

"Go ahead and make your call, honey. The food isn't near done," my mom spoke from her cooking cave. Geez, did she have supersonic hearing?

Jasper nodded and exited the apartment, making sure to shut the door behind him. I switched off the television and merely sat, listening to my mother chop food for a couple of minutes.

"You've got a nerve coming here after what you did to her," I heard Jasper say faintly from downstairs. The balcony door was still open.

Who was he talking to?

"What about what you did to her? You think you're any better than me?"

Oh my goodness…_I know that voice._

I stood at the speed of light and walked to the threshold leading to the balcony, my heart clambering in my chest. What the hell was he doing here and why now? I could make out his blue truck, but I couldn't see either of them. They must've been directly below the balcony. I took one small step forward and could immediately see part of Edward.

He was angry. Really angry. His jaw was clenched, his eyes holding so much venom. My pulse was quickening as I watched him cautiously, hiding from view, like prey hiding from their predator.

"I've been having to pick up the pieces after you practically threw her to the curb," Jasper seethed.

Oh God…what was happening? They were talking about me, I knew it. But why? Why did Edward care? I just wanted them both to leave and stop torturing me.

Edward's expression turned forlorn, but was soon replaced by malice. "You're an awful hypocrite, considering you shit all over her by saying she wasn't the one or some bullshit."

"Why are you here? I'm sure she wants nothing to do with you."

Edward took a step forward, and I could no longer see him. "You kiss her again, when she doesn't want to be kissed, and I'll fucking drive up to your snooty penthouse and destroy everything in there."

"Not that that's any of your business, but she actually kissed me back."

I buried my face in my hands, wanting to drown them out in every possible way. I had kissed Jasper back, but it was for all the wrong reasons. Wait, why was I justifying myself? Edward had no right to just come over here like this.

"You're lying," Edward spoke cuttingly.

"Am I? When have I ever lied to you? You need to stay out of her life, Edward. She doesn't have to know you were here. I'm better for her. I've known her longer, I'm close with her family, and I can give her what she wants. What she deserves. You know you can't."

I couldn't listen to this anymore. I was about to step back inside, when I heard a loud whacking sound below. It alarmed me greatly, causing me to run to the edge of the balcony and lean over the railing.

Jasper was hunched over, cradling his face in his hands, while Edward's hands were fisted tightly at his sides as he glowered at Jasper.

"Edward!" I gasped loudly in terror. He'd just punched Jasper!

Edward's eyes flew up to me. There were so many wild emotions brewing there. My heart was practically in my throat. Without wasting another second, I flew back inside, to the front door, and wrenched it open. The elevator would take too long, so I chose the stairs, racing down the steps as quickly as I could.

As soon as I exited my apartment building, I was faced with Edward's loud truck speeding away down the street and Jasper dabbing his nose by using the back of his hand. A small amount of blood was seeping out of one of his nostrils.

I was a combination of enraged and shocked. My brain was working a mile a minute, and I couldn't make any sense of it. All I could manage to focus on in my flustered state was Jasper walking toward me.

"Are you okay?" I asked, and grabbed his face, trying to see if his nose was broken.

"He's a lunatic. I'm sorry you had to see that," he grumbled, and pulled my hands away from his face. "I'm fine. Let's just go inside."

As soon as we went in, I called out to my mom, asking her to run a cloth under water. She burst out of the kitchen with wide eyes.

"Oh my word!" she exclaimed, and grabbed a hold of Jasper's arms, hauling him into the kitchen.

"I'm okay, Mrs. Swan," he assured groggily.

She grabbed a few paper towels and wet them. "Lean your head back," she urged.

I left the kitchen while my mom took care of him. As I paced back and forth in the living room, all I could think of was one word.

Why?

After all this time, after weeks and weeks of avoiding me, he had to come now and throw everything out of whack. I was beginning to do fine. Yes, I was hurt, but I could've recovered! His very presence was sending me into a tailspin. Why would he do this to me? And on top of that, he had to come here and throw punches? Who the hell did he think he was?

My impulsive side wanted to get in the car, drive after him, and give him what for, but my more mature side, the one that I had come to know more and more, told me to just leave it—let him go. We were through and putting myself in a position to see him again would only drag out the healing process.

God, why couldn't he have just stayed away?

The morning and afternoon went by tensely for me. We had our Easter lunch, followed by dessert. Jasper tried to put on a show that he was happy, but I knew he was boiling inside. Frankly, I was mad at _him_. Why would he provoke Edward like that? He couldn't have just let it all be?

After the dishes were in the sink, Jasper said he needed to use the bathroom. While he was gone, I grabbed my phone and called Rose. Her text message had finally made sense somewhere during lunch. Somehow, Edward found out about Jasper kissing me, and I was banking it was because of her.

She picked up almost immediately.

"I said don't hate me," Rose said.

"I can't believe you told him," I scolded.

"I didn't!" she exclaimed. "Emmett and I drove out to Pine Lake to pick him up, and he said he needed to grab something from his bedroom before going with us. We were waiting outside by Emmett's car, and I let it slip to Emmett that Jasper was a douche and kissed you when you didn't want to be kissed. Edward somehow heard. I don't know how, honestly!"

I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Rose…"

"He just came out all of a sudden, looking like he wanted to bash something and then left us hanging to go to you. I texted you as soon as he left."

"He punched Jasper," I revealed.

"What?" she asked incredulously. "All he said was he needed to see you. He never said anything about Jasper. Maybe he got to your place and realized Jasper was there."

I was so angry at Edward for resorting to punching Jasper. I knew he didn't like him, but that was no excuse. As upset as I was with Jasper, as well, violence was a step too far in my book.

I suddenly had another urge to go to him and tell him off, just like I had earlier after I first saw him. This was stronger, however, the adrenaline encouraging me, enticing me.

I needed to do this. Then, maybe, I could just get the hell on with my life. My emotions had been toyed with enough lately.

"I'll talk to you later," I said to Rose abruptly.

"Wait," she urged, but I hung up.

Before I could change my mind, I walked to the door and grabbed my keys and purse off the entryway table.

"Isabella," I heard my mother whisper-yell just as I wrapped my hand around the knob. "Where do you think you're going?"

I looked over my shoulder at her. "I'm sorry. I have to go. Thanks for lunch, Mom. Tell Jasper he should go home."

She shook her head. "No, you're a big girl. You can tell him yourself."

I sighed. "Mom, please, just do this for me," I begged.

She narrowed her eyes, assessing me, before nodding. "I'm not going to ask where you're going, but just be careful, okay?"

Once I was in my car, I hit the highway, heading north. The drive over didn't give me much clarity; I was still as pissed as ever, probably more so, actually.

It was around two in the afternoon when I arrived at Pine Lake. My blood was coursing, and I was ready to cause hell for Edward. He could have all his girlfriends here for all I cared; he was still going to get a piece of my mind.

As I pulled into the driveway, his truck was the only vehicle here. I flung off the seatbelt and opened the door roughly. My eyes zeroed in on the front door that was shut.

"Edward!" I shouted in a growl, and stormed up to the porch. After pulling the screen door open, I knocked hard three times. "Open up!"

No answer.

Fine. He didn't want to answer the door; I'd just go around the back.

I walked quickly around the side, even nearly tripping once on the gravel, but once I made the transition to grass, my stomping steps were smoother.

After turning the corner to step onto the back porch, I stopped in my tracks when I saw the dock.

The La-Z-Boy from inside was set near the end of the dock. A tuft of dark hair was sticking out the top as well as a long arm on the side, hovering over an undistinguishable bottle that was toppled over on the dock.

My anger subsided immediately, now turning into confusion and worry. I couldn't see Edward, but he was just sitting there, unmoving.

Changing my course, I took steps to the dock. My heels clicked against the wooden planks, making my presence known, but he still didn't budge. There was a bottle of liquor laying sideways, its contests spilled onto the dock. I bent to the ground and straightened the bottle before I stepped around the recliner, coming face-to-face with Edward.

His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling heavily. There was a thick layer of perspiration gathered on his forehead, most likely due to the sun beating down on him. If he wasn't careful, he could get dehydrated like this.

I pressed the back of my knuckles lightly to his damp forehead. He was incredibly overheated. I moved my hand down to his cheek, lingering a little longer than necessary…

He was still passed out. How did he get this big, clunky chair out here? I needed to get him inside to drink some water.

"Edward," I said quietly, and moved a drenched lock of hair off his forehead.

His eyes lazily fluttered half-open. He merely groaned, deep in his chest.

"Edward," I repeated, and tried to maneuver myself so that I was blocking the sun from hitting him. I was thankful he was waking up.

"Bella…?" he rasped, his voice thick and gruff. There was hopefulness in his tone that I couldn't ignore.

"Yeah, it's me," I assured softly. All I could feel right now was a need to take care of him. My thoughts from before weren't important right now.

"You're here," he whispered. "Must be dreaming."

I emitted a weak smile. "You're not dreaming. Promise." I wrapped a hand around his firm bicep. "Let's get you up, okay?"

He moaned in reluctance, but let me lift him, helping me as much as possible. He wavered on his feet, nearly toppling over into the still lake water, but I quickly grabbed his shirt and kept him upright.

"I've got you," I said.

"I know," he replied.

I hauled him up the dock, across the grass, and to the back porch. He tried as best as he could to not put his weight on me, but I could tell he was fairly out of it and most of the journey wasn't registering for him.

The back door was wide open, save for the screen. I managed to open it and stumble us across the threshold. He suddenly hissed just as we stepped inside the house, banging his shoulder on the frame.

"Fucking door," he muttered.

I chuckled softly, unable to control it.

"I made you laugh," he slurred, his arm wrapping loosely around my shoulder, resting himself more against me.

"Yeah, you did," I said roughly, now practically dragging him to his bedroom. _God, he's heavy._

"Feels nice."

"What does?"

"Making you laugh."

Thankfully, his bedroom door was open, so all I had to do was walk us inside. The room was a mess, with clothes strewn everywhere and his bed unmade.

"Okay. I need you to take off your shirt and pants, so you can get into bed, then I'll get you some water," I instructed.

He nodded lazily, his eyes slipping closed. In a fumbling flash, he had his shirt off and thrown on the ground, revealing his very toned upper body. I tried not to flush as I watched him. He was drunk…and not mine to look at, anyway. His jeans gave him a hard time, the button-fly refusing to open for him. Finally, he got it open and pushed them down to his ankles, kicking them off carelessly. He was left in just his boxer briefs, which hung down low on his lips. I could just see the swell of his ass, causing me to feel I should turn away.

Just as I was about to instruct him further, he suddenly hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his briefs and pulled them down. I gasped and quickly spun around before I saw anything, feeling warm everywhere. I hadn't said for him to get naked!

There was a bit of rustling on the bed, and then the room went silent, save for our heavy breaths. I glanced over my shoulder stealthily to see if he was completely covered up, and to my relief, the blanket was shielding his lower body, lying haphazardly across his waist.

"I'll just get you some water," I said, and waited for his response, but his eyes were shut.

As soon as I made it to his kitchen, I opened his fridge. His usual bottles of Corona were there, which made me smile sadly. I couldn't deny that the sight of them brought back warm memories of us sitting on the dock in the evening.

There was a bottle of water on the top shelf, so I grabbed that and went back into his bedroom. I unscrewed the cap and stood by the side of his bed, looking down at him.

"Edward, you need to drink some water."

"Hmm?" he hummed noncommittally.

I kneeled at his side and brought the top of the bottle to his lips. For the most part, he managed to drink some of it, but a thin stream of water ran down his chin. I used the end of my sleeve to absorb it and set the water on his bedside table.

He exhaled through his nose and turned his head to me, his tired eyes gazing at me. "I finally thought of a nickname for you," he spoke gruffly.

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Oh, really?" I asked, just to humor him.

"Yeah, but I won't ever be able to tell you," he answered, and I frowned. "It's better than 'Bellsy,' though." He snorted. "Bellsy. What kind of a name is _Bellsy_? No, mine is better."

I sighed. "Well, then, what is it?"

He ignored me. "Mine actually means something."

I placed my hand on his forehead, feeling if he was still hot. He shut his eyes and breathed in deeply, a lazy smile twisting at his lips. He was getting cooler, thank God. Maybe I could get him to drink a bit more water soon.

"It's _mi alma_," he suddenly spoke, his groggy voice laced with sadness.

I removed my hand from his forehead, resting it by his side. "I don't know what that means." It sounded like Spanish or Italian, and I was one of those that took French in school.

"It's something my dad used to call my mom."

I tried not to let that affect me, but of course, it secretly did. "What does it mean in English?" I questioned curiously.

He shook his head and opened his eyes, looking directly into mine. "If I tell you, you won't believe me." He looked straight up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry…Rose, she…" His incoherent words trailed. He unexpectedly attempted to sit up, the blanket slipping lower than I should be seeing. "Where's my whiskey?"

"No," I said frantically, and pushed him back against the mattress. I moved the blanket back up to his waist. "Most of it is spilled on the dock, anyway."

"That's okay. I have some more in the pantry, middle shelf."

I purposely ignored him as I made him drink more from the water bottle. After I set it back on the nightstand, there was a defined frown on his face. I could hear a light battering against his bedroom window, as well as on the roof. It was raining now. I'd have to leave soon if I wanted to avoid any traffic that occurred when it rained.

"My father died on this day, eight years ago," he whispered, so softly I barely heard him.

I couldn't think of a response to that. I simply remained frozen as I watched his face contort in sadness.

"My parents flew here for my twenty-first birthday, since I was going to college in Seattle instead of Chicago. I didn't care back then…I just wanted to hang out with my friends, get drunk, and party. I felt like I was being forced to spend time with them and ended up blowing them off to hang with my friends.

"The next day, I felt bad and came here, but I was pretty hungover and already in a shitty mood. My mother let me off the hook, but my father didn't, saying that all I cared about was partying, and my grades were slipping as a result. He wanted me to take over his business eventually, so he asked how I was ever going to do that when I behaved like an adolescent.

"We kept throwing insults back and forth at each other—me saying he was a lousy father for trying to push me into taking over his business, and him saying I was ungrateful, spoiled, and took advantage of his kindness." He sighed heavily. "He was so angry that he stormed out of the house, got into his car, and drove off…He crashed into a pole two blocks from here and died on impact. If I had just…Sometimes I think it was all because of me."

I knew something tragic might've happened with his father, but I had no idea he held so much guilt toward it. I weaved my fingers with his, comforting him with a firm squeeze. "It's not your fault, Edward."

He brought both our hands to his bare chest, resting them there. "It's like I relive it every year. And it's worse this time, because not only am I living in the house near where he crashed, but my mother is sick, and you're…" He shook his head, cutting himself off. He stared directly at me. "You helped me not think about it for a while. I owe you so much." He brought my hand up to his cheek and closed his eyes. "_Mi alma_…"

I unraveled my fingers from his. "You don't owe me anything, Edward." I knew a lot of what he was saying now, he most likely would barely remember tomorrow. Though, he seemed like he was sobering up, his words slurring much less.

"I do," he spoke gently, and shut his eyes.

I took my hand away. "Why don't you get some rest?"

He nodded silently in response.

I stood quietly and moved the water bottle to the edge of the nightstand, so he could reach it. The rain was beginning to pick up, and I knew I had to make my exit now, even though I felt bad for leaving him in this state. But he seemed to be okay.

Just as I took steps toward the door, his raspy voice stopped me.

"Can you stay?" There was so much helplessness emanating from his tone.

I really shouldn't. He was fine here by himself and would most likely sleep off the alcohol. I had work in the morning and needed to get in bed soon. But a part of me felt a strong desire to stay here to make sure he was fine. Even though I needed to leave, I didn't want to…not yet. I'd most likely pay for this tomorrow, but I knew my decision was already made.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Jasper = uh oh. He probably should've kept his feelings to himself, because Bella is **_**not**_** a happy camper. And I have a padded suit on, so you can't claw me.  
**

**And what on earth is going on with Mr. Imperfect? We'll find out next chapter. **

**Back to our regular schedule of Tuesday updates, so see you next week! **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	20. He Couldn't Be without Me

**A/N: **

**Methinks I spoiled you with the last few chapters! I almost sprung this on you guys early, but this is a super important one, so I needed the extra time. I hope it's worth the wait, though. Many asked what **_**mi alma**_** means. I didn't put the translation, because it'll be explained in this chapter. Most of you were sneaky, anyway, because you totally Googled it. Tsk, tsk. ;-) **

**Beta is Lindz26. She reviewed MPMI on her blog, _Random Acts of Lindz_, this week. Thank you so much, girl! The link to that is on my profile if anyone wants to see. Shabbyapple pre-read and helped me out big time this chapter. She is the Cheech to my Chong and has captured my "hearth." Oh, typos. **

**Happy Belated Birthday to VampiresHaveLaws! Now, you must sacrifice your first born to me. **

**This chapter is dedicated to all my girls over at the MPMI forum who are always so supportive and keep me on my toes.

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**CHAPTER TWENTY  
*HE COULDN'T BE WITHOUT ME***

I woke up to the soft sounds of rain beating against the roof, feeling extremely comfortable and at peace. As my tired eyes started to adjust, it was clear that I was no longer on the couch, where I'd fallen asleep last night.

Looking around, I was in a white bedroom, lying in a white bed, with tons of pillows and a lightweight duvet covering me. How on earth had I gotten here…and where exactly was I?

I still had my clothes on from the day before, so that was good, yet very uncomfortable. Turning my head, I saw a picture frame on the nightstand. I grabbed it to look closer. It was a worn photograph of a beautiful brunette and a handsome light-haired man, who had a small toddler sitting on his shoulders. They all looked incredibly happy.

Once I'd placed the frame back on the nightstand, I sat up on my knees. There was a large window above the bed, so I peeked through the soft, white curtains framing it. Through the rain water clouding the glass, I could make out a direct view of the dock. I noticed the recliner was gone from there.

After a quick stretch, I climbed off the bed and warily made my way to the door. I opened it, coming out into the back part of the house. The back screen door was next to the bedroom, so I opened it and looked outside. Right at the edge of the porch was the recliner, drenched from the rain. Had Edward moved it? That meant he was awake.

I looked behind me, back into the house, but couldn't see or hear anything. Cautiously, I walked down the short hall and into the living room. There was no one here or in the kitchen, either.

My eyes caught sight of a pair of gray sweatpants and a large, dark purple sweatshirt with _Washington Huskies _written on it, resting over the arm of the couch. I went over and picked up the sweatshirt, bringing it to my nose. It smelled like Edward. I frowned at the natural reaction it evoked in me and set it down.

There was a raucous at the back, the screen door slamming shut and heavy footsteps sounding loudly, growing closer to me. I stayed stock still, staring wide-eyed at the hallway. Edward suddenly emerged, rubbing his hands over his soaked hair. His shirt and jeans were also fairly wet. He stopped moving when he saw me.

"Um, hi," he greeted awkwardly, his green eyes penetrating me cautiously.

"Are you feeling better?" I questioned, trying not to show how tense I was. It hadn't been a good idea to stay over.

He nodded and regarded the floor. "You didn't have to stay. I know I asked you…but you didn't have to."

I shrugged casually. "It was no big deal," I lied. It was a huge deal for me…one I should never have done.

"Oh," he said, and sighed. "Sorry if you were confused when you woke up. The couch is uncomfortable, so I moved you to my mom's bedroom."

That was his mom's? Wasn't that kind of…sacred? Either way, I must've really been tired if he'd carried me without me waking up once. Why had he done that, anyway? I was fine on the couch.

"Well…thanks," I spoke.

"Those clothes are for you, just in case you want to take a shower and change. I couldn't find anything recent of mine that would fit you, so I had to go up to the attic and find some of my old clothes."

I looked down at the clothes, then back at him. The gesture was…nice, but I just wanted to go. "I really should be heading out." I looked around for my car keys and saw them on the kitchen counter.

"You can't go…"

_Please don't give me a reason to stay._ I needed to get out of here. "I really don't want to talk about anything, Edward," I said tersely as I grabbed my keys and walked toward the door.

"No, Bella. I mean, you can't go. The road to the highway is flooded right now from the rain."

I stopped walking and exhaled a long puff of air. "Are you serious?" I questioned, turning around to him.

He nodded wordlessly.

"Great." I tossed my keys on the sofa in aggravation.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Hopefully, the rain would stop soon and the sun would come out. I'd just have to wait here until it was over. Casting a quick glance to Edward, I saw he was staring at me, as if not knowing what to do, so I sat down on the couch.

"What time is it?" I asked.

He cleared his throat. "Eight, roughly"

"Eight?" My tone was loud. I had work to get to, and I was going to be late. Well, I certainly couldn't go now. I'd just have to call in and explain. "I need my phone."

He swiftly grabbed my cell phone off the kitchen counter, but slowed down his movements as he approached me. His shoe caught on the leg of the coffee table, and he fumbled slightly, but recovered just as quickly and handed my phone to me. I said a quiet thanks and attempted to turn my phone on…but it was dead. Great.

"Everything okay?" he questioned.

"Phone's dead," I muttered, and sighed.

He took out his phone from his back pocket and held it out. "Here."

I regarded him warily first, but I really needed to phone into work, so I took it, making sure to avoid my fingers rubbing against his warm palm. When I saw the screen, I swallowed thickly. There was a picture of me with a cup of coffee in my hand as I looked away. Had he taken this without me knowing? I'd never looked at his cell phone before, so maybe he'd forgotten to change the picture when we'd broken up.

Trying as hard as I could not to look up at him, I dialed the auction house's reception. After speaking with Angela and assuring her I'd call her if I could make it in, I ended the call and passed the phone back to Edward. We stayed quiet for some time. He was still standing in the same spot, and I remained on the couch.

"Do you want something to eat?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No thanks."

"There's a shower in the bedroom you slept in if you want…"

I did feel a bit disgusting, not having changed or showered since yesterday, so I agreed and left him standing in the living room. Once inside the comfort of the bedroom, I breathed a sigh of relief. How could I manage to be in the same house with my ex-boyfriend, who had made it clear he never wanted anything to do with me again?

After showering, changing, and making the bed, I went back out into the living room. Edward was now in the kitchen, and he acknowledged me as soon as I came in.

"They fit," he noted, staring down at his sweats I was now wearing.

I walked over to the couch and sat. "Yeah."

"Was the shower okay?"

"Mm-hmm," I hummed, drawing my knees up to my chest in security.

"Did the water run cold after—?"

"Edward," I interrupted, aggravated. "Everything was fine. You don't need to speak with me just because I'm stranded here." I didn't want him to feel obligated to have a conversation, considering I knew this was most likely a burden to him.

He didn't respond. All he did was turn his back on me and open a cupboard.

He was doing something in the kitchen, which I didn't bother to inquire about. I rested my cheek on my drawn up knees, looking out the window as the rain pelted against it.

I heard his footsteps draw closer, and soon, he was standing in front of me. I looked up to see him holding a mug filled with coffee. He didn't say a word, but simply passed it to me.

"Thanks," I said, to which he nodded and walked back into the kitchen.

The coffee was hot, so I blew on it a few times before taking a tentative sip and setting it down on the coffee table. It tasted just as I liked—two and a half sugars, an abundance of cream.

My eyes roamed around the room for any changes. There were none. Everything looked the same. I figured some things had to be different if he was with a new woman. Where was she, anyway? Irina, was it? The thought of that made me sour, but I needed to suck it up. However, I couldn't help what came out of my mouth next.

"I hope you didn't have anything planned with someone today. Me being here would've probably ruined that."

He was leaning against the kitchen counter as he looked at me. "No, I didn't have any plans today."

"Oh, Irina is probably at work," I realized. I remembered her saying she was a chef at Canlis, which I had refused to go back to.

He sighed. "Yeah, she is."

What was that tone? Did he miss her or something? Okay, I didn't want to talk about this anymore.

"The rain is really coming down—" I began to say, when he cut me off.

"Bella," he spoke so earnestly, that my eyes immediately found his in curiosity. "About Irina…"

I shook my head. "It's fine. You're allowed to date someone else."

"I'm not dating someone else."

I quirked an eyebrow. "You broke up?" Figures he would break up with her, too. Did he ever keep _anyone_ around?

He walked out of the kitchen and stood a substantial distance from me. "We weren't ever together."

I scoffed. Wow, what a liar. "I saw you at the grocery store."

"Yeah, but it wasn't like that."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Right. And I'm sure you're going to tell me that you weren't with that girl, Kate, either."

He looked momentarily bewildered. "I wasn't."

I angrily slammed my hands down on the couch cushions and stood with a ferocity, piercing him with my cold eyes. "Stop _lying_ to me. Emmett said Kate is your ex-girlfriend."

He furrowed his brow, looking thrown off guard. "Shit," he whispered under his breath.

"Exactly. So, don't even try it with me." I fell back against the couch, drawing my knees up to my chest again.

He took a few steps toward me, determination flooding his eyes. "Bella, Kate is my ex-girlfriend, but we dated when I was _fourteen_."

"What?" I questioned, confused as hell.

"I told you my parents and I used to come down here every summer. Our families were friends, so Kate and I became close. We dated for about three months, until she broke it off with me. We've known each other for years and even went to college together."

Oh. But that didn't explain why she was here when I showed up. "I saw her here. She answered the door dressed in a bathrobe."

His eyebrows pinched together. "You came to my house?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

"I…I didn't know," he said with a sullen expression, and scratched the back of his neck. "Kate comes and sees me every year around this time, because I usually get…" He let out a puff of air. "Well, it's not important. She usually comes to Chicago, but since I'm here this year, she and Irina were staying with me for a few weeks."

"Irina…?" I questioned softly. I didn't get it.

He nodded. "Kate's life partner."

_Life partner_? Holy…God. "She's a lesbian?" I asked, my mouth falling open.

"Kate's not a lesbian. She's bi-sexual. Irina prefers women, though."

I shook my head, trying to force that tidbit to sink in. "Bi-sexual…So, that means she half likes men?"

"Kate and I don't like each other like that," he assured.

"Ah." I was relieved…but why should I be? We weren't together. "I guess I can finally go to Canlis again."

"What?" he asked, appearing confused.

"You seemed so…intimate with Irina," I recalled, looking down at my lap.

"I was trying to make you jealous."

I furrowed my brow, my eyes snapping to his that looked bathed with guilt. "So, it was some sort of payback, huh?"

He didn't offer a response. His eyes merely dropped to the ground. I huffed angrily. I'd never tried to purposely hurt him like that. Could he not tell how affected I was by our breakup? After all, I'd called him a million times. How could he do something like that to me?

He suddenly walked over to the couch and sat directly next to me. Much to my surprise, I didn't stiffen with him so near, but I was, however, wary. "It probably means nothing, but I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight, and seeing you was just…" He shook his head, appearing to be struggling with words. "It was hard to handle with everything going on. I know it's not an excuse…but this time of year, I tend to withdraw from myself. I haven't exactly learned to deal with my father's death, and it was really bad timing with dating you…and…well…"

What was he saying? That him breaking up with me was because he was in a foul mood? Maybe it spurred him on, but I didn't believe that was the sole reason.

"Edward, you made it very clear that you didn't trust me with Jasper."

He grabbed my hands in his delicately. I couldn't deny that I missed his touch. "I figured it was only a matter of time before you went back to him." He frowned. "And I convinced myself you did just that afterward."

I removed my hands from his, insulted. "I hadn't gone back to him. If I was going to be with Jasper, I would be with him right now," I seethed, so fed up with this.

"I realized that later. I assumed you were with him, but when I heard Rose saying to Emmett that he forced himself on you, I realized that you weren't. I went over to your place to talk to you, to fix things, but I saw you two on the balcony. You were arguing with him about something, and…I lost it."

I could see in his eyes that he held a small amount of guilt for that, and I didn't know what to think. Yesterday, he'd come over to talk to me, not to punch Jasper. He'd wanted to fix things…but could we be fixed after everything that had happened?

"You know," I started, "he kissed me, and I didn't feel anything." It was true that there was a sense of familiarity with him, but the fire that I used to have for him was no longer there. It'd been stomped out for a while now.

"He said you kissed him back," he whispered, his sullen expression softening me.

"I did. I wanted to not feel alone for once. Edward, you broke my heart and then ignored me when _I_ tried to fix things. You didn't give me a chance to make things better. Even if I did let him kiss me, it's none of your business. You made it that way when you left."

His expression was so heartbreaking, making me feel bad, but it was because of his own stubbornness that we were like this now, almost strangers again. We could've worked it out together, instead of spending all those weeks apart. We could've recovered.

"I told myself I'd never hurt you, yet I did," he spoke. "I doubted you, and for that I'm sorry. But Bella, I _do_ trust you."

"How can you trust me when you think I'll run off with Jasper?"

"I just let my thoughts get the better of me," he answered, a shift occurring in his green depths. What was that? Confidence? "But I promise, I trust you with everything I have. I wouldn't have told you about my father last night, if I didn't."

I sighed, knowing he was right in that regard. It took a lot for him to tell me something that had emotionally scarred him. "That may be so, but frankly…I don't think I trust _you_ anymore."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. "I guess I deserve that," he spoke quietly. "Is there a chance you'll ever trust me again?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "I would rather not get my heart broken again."

He brought his hands up to my face, cupping my cheeks. It took everything in me not to lean into them. "I know my word probably means squat right now, but I promise I won't ever do something like that again. I spent every day trying to drown out the voice inside me that said I'd made a mistake and that you actually wanted to be with me. I felt alone, even when I had Irina and Kate over, and I missed you." His thumb was lethargically caressing my cheek. "I don't ever want to feel so alone again. I can't be without you anymore, Bella."

I wanted to give into his words more than anything, but I knew, for the sake of my fragile heart, that I needed to be cautious. "I don't want to get hurt like before."

"You weren't the only one hurting. Please, be with me again. We can take our time—start from scratch and go slow."

I shook my head and pried his hands from my face, setting them in my lap, instead. I could feel myself succumbing, but I still feared letting him in fully. "I don't want to go slow, Edward. I just want you to get over your jealousies and know that I'm yours, no matter what."

"I'll try," he agreed. "But you also have to understand that I don't like Jasper, and I don't think he'll stop trying to get you back for anything. There's nothing I want more than to be with you, but I don't want to be looking over my shoulder, trying to bat the guy off you with a damn stick. Like I said, I trust you, but I don't trust him."

I should've known that this would be a continuing issue. Though, with Jasper admitting his feelings to me recently, he was partially correct. However, I'd made it clear to Jasper how I felt toward him, and he seemed to get the message, saying he would only like to be friends. There was really nothing for Edward to stress about.

"If you trust me, then you shouldn't be worrying about him. He could do whatever he wanted, and you'd still be the only guy I want," I reassured.

He squeezed my hands, looking meaningfully at me. "You'll always be the only girl I'll ever want."

I tried to contain my bashful smile, opting to look at the window to hide it. "It's still raining," I observed.

"Would you stay even if it weren't raining?"

My eyes shifted back to his. I already knew my answer, and I think he did, too, with the way he was looking at me.

We remained gazing at each other for a few seconds. He leaned forward, and I thought he was going to kiss me, but he stood instead, looking down on me. "I have something for you," he said, and walked into his bedroom. After a while, he emerged, holding a small jewelry box. He sat back down on the couch and rested the box in my lap. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday. I'd been planning on giving you this."

I was almost afraid to open it. What had he gotten me? "Edward, I don't need a gift. You shouldn't have gotten me anything."

"I feel terrible I didn't get to do what I planned for your birthday, so please, just open it, Bella."

I sighed, giving in. Two, small, pearl earrings rested delicately inside the box. They looked so old-fashioned, but absolutely stunning. "Edward," I gasped, running my fingertips over them gently.

"They were my grandmother's from my dad's side. He gave them to my mom. I wanted to get you something that held meaning, so my mom suggested these for you."

My eyes snapped to his. "Your mom told you to give_ me_ these?" I asked, surprised.

He smiled warmly. "Yeah. She's been wanting to meet you."

I was stunned, absolutely in awe. "You actually told her about me?"

"I can't really keep anything from her. I went to see her on Christmas, and she knew straight off the bat that I'd met someone."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "At New Year's, I thought you spent Christmas with a girl."

The corner of his mouth quirked up into a smirk. "If my mom counts as a girl…"

I laughed, happy at that admission, and leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He brought me closer to him, his hands settling on my lower back. I could feel his nose in my hair. God, I'd missed this…missed him.

"Since the moment I met you, you're all I need," he spoke, almost in a sigh.

I smiled, pressing myself into him further. His woodsy aroma overtook my senses, and I basked in it for several moments. "Thank you for the earrings," I breathed. "Tell your mom I said thank you, as well."

He pulled back a fraction, our faces an inch away from each other. "I will, but maybe you can tell her yourself one of these days…"

I nodded, bringing my face just a touch closer to his. "I'd love to."

His breathing grew shallower, and his eyes flitted down to my lips. "Can I…?" he questioned, trailing off.

"Yes," I answered, giving him permission to do what I desperately wanted him to do.

He needed no further push as his lips covered mine. Our kiss was full of heated, desperate pecks, as if making up for lost time. I tightened my arms around his neck and climbed into his lap, unable to control myself.

"Wait," he panted, between wet kisses.

I pulled his top lip between my teeth and sucked before moving my mouth to this jaw. "I told you, I don't want to go slow."

His mouth captured mine again with a groan, his fingers grasping tightly onto my large sweatshirt. After a moment, he pulled back, breathing heavily. "We should at least eat first."

He wanted to eat _now_? Without a fight, I pecked his nose and stood. "Okay."

He stayed sitting, merely blinking, before he cleared his throat and got up. Once he was in the kitchen, he turned to me with a worried look.

"Let me guess," I started. "You only have fish."

He chuckled. "No, I actually don't have anything."

"Oh, well, that's fine, then. I'm not that hungry."

"Hold on," he said suddenly, and stepped up to his pantry. He stuck his head inside, moving things around. "Irina bought pancake mix and left it here, I think." He pulled out a box with a grin.

"Well, that was…nice of her." Was I honestly jealous of a woman who didn't like men? But she obviously cooked for him…

He rolled his eyes, setting the box on the counter. "You know, she liked you a lot."

I furrowed my brow. "She did?" I asked.

"Yeah. She gave me a lot of grief after we saw you at the store. Wanted to know why I was rude to you." He sighed, not looking as happy anymore. "I wound up telling her everything. In her words, she said we were both idiots."

I took the pancake mix from him and set it on the counter. My hands came up to his chest. "I never should've been at Jasper's that night." If I could rewind time, I'd go back to that moment and undo it. I'd have stayed at my place and waited for Edward. We never would've broken up.

His hands smoothed up and down my sides. "I shouldn't have given up so easily on you," he admitted, and my lips formed in a pout. Those weeks spent apart were hard for me to get over. I hoped, in time, the wound from it all would heal. "But now that I know what it's like without you, I refuse to make that mistake again."

I rose up on the balls of my feet and kissed his lips lightly. He responded with the same gentleness.

Relationships aren't easy, but we'd work through our issues together, because if we didn't, we'd be throwing a future of happiness away. And I firmly believed that Edward was my key to happiness.

Pulling back, I grabbed the pancake mix and pressed it into his chest. "By the way, Happy Belated Birthday."

X-X-X-X

Most of the day passed and the rain would stop and start, not giving me a chance to leave—not that I was dying to go.

Edward and I spent the better half of the day catching up. He told me his mother was doing so much better and that he actually had hope now. He was in the midst of arranging her to move to Washington, but he wanted to make sure she was absolutely healthy enough for the journey. I told him that, when the time came and he needed any help arranging for her arrival, that I'd be glad to help.

We sat on the back porch in two patio chairs, watching the rain together. He was telling me about his father and how much he'd expected from Edward. I listened intently, appreciating how open he was being with me.

"Back then, I thought he was pushing me to take over his business, but I think he just wanted to ensure I had a future," he continued. "I really didn't know what I wanted to do, except run around with my friends, so he was helping me out."

"What happened to the business after he passed, if you don't mind me asking?"

He sighed, not replying for a moment. His focus was trained on the lake as the rain fell in sheets over it. "My father had a business partner, Marcus. They both had a love for carpentry and were close friends since they were kids, so they started the company together. My dad had wanted half of the business to go to me upon his death, but since I was stubborn and refused, the business wound up staying in Marcus' power.

"Later on, I regretted not being involved, because it was half my father's business, something that belonged to him, you know? But by then, Marcus had sold the company to someone else. I didn't have enough money for a buyout, and my mother was already not doing well, so I had to let it go."

I reached over to his armrest and entwined my fingers with his. "I'm sorry."

"I wish I hadn't been so stupid and selfish back then."

"You didn't know. We're all young and naïve, once. We can't fix our mistakes, but we can learn from them."

"Mistakes," he chuckled, almost bitterly. "It was because of me my father died, because of me the business failed, and because of me that my mother is sick."

"Edward," I gasped, surprised at him. "None of those things are your fault, and you know that."

He scoffed. "You know what my mother said to me after we found out my dad passed? She said, 'It's all your fault. If you'd just agreed with him instead of being such an ingrate, he'd still be alive.' At the time, I hated her for saying that. We didn't speak for a long time. But she was right. If I'd agreed with him, none of this would've ever happened. He wouldn't have died, and maybe she wouldn't be so sick."

I frowned, wanting to take away the despair in his voice. "I'm sorry your mom said that to you. But she'd just lost the love of her life, right?"

He nodded silently.

"We all say things when we're upset," I assured. "I don't think she meant it. And to be honest, I don't think the circumstances would've changed. Perhaps what's meant to be is meant to be."

He turned his head to me, deep emotions radiating off him. In that moment, I could tell what he was thinking, because I was thinking the same thing.

_We're meant to be._

Without a reply, he looked back at the lake. The rain was beginning to slow now, turning into light drizzle. There was a huge gust of wind that suddenly blew past, rattling everything around us. A loud bang sounded, causing both our heads to turn toward the noise.

"Shit," he cursed, and stood. "That's the shed. It always opens when it's windy. I've gotta get a lock for it." He looked down at me in question. "Can I go close it? I'll only be a minute."

I nodded and watched as he quickly jumped off the porch and jogged around the side. The rain had stopped and the sun was starting to peek out from behind the clouds, rays of light shimmering sporadically over the lake. I could feel the heat on my face, and all it made me want to do was jump in that lake for a swim.

I suddenly laughed at a memory. When I was younger, I used to go late night skinny dipping with Alice and some friends in the neighbor's pool. They never found out, thank God. A part of me wished I could do something like that again, but maybe not to the extent of trespassing.

Smiling mischievously, I wondered how Edward would react if he found me in the lake, completely naked. Would he join in?

Without giving myself much time to back down, I stood and hurriedly whipped off Edward's college sweatshirt, leaving me completely topless. I hopped off the porch and threw it on the grass. After walking further down the lawn, I stripped off my sweatpants and dropped them on the grass, too.

As I stepped onto the dock, I could feel a slight breeze blowing against my near naked body. I looked over my shoulder and saw that Edward still wasn't back. At the speed of light, I hooked my thumbs into the sides of my burgundy lace underwear and pushed down. I left them on the dock as I stepped right to the edge and looked into the dark blue water.

_I hope there aren't fish down there that could bite me. _

I took a deep breath, pinched my nose with my forefinger and thumb, and jumped off the dock, into the water.

It was _cold_. Holy crap, it was so damn cold!

It was like prickly shards of tiny glass stinging me all over.

Kicking hard, I pulled up to the surface and breathed in deeply, pushing my hair out of my face at the same time. My body was adjusting slightly to the frigidness of the water, so I swam to the last piling of the dock, hiding myself behind it to see if Edward was back.

He was.

He'd reached the back porch and had a look of confusion on his face as he noted that not only was I not there, but the sweatshirt I'd been wearing was tossed haphazardly on the grass. I snickered to myself, watching him. He located my sweatpants a moment later, his eyes growing wide. His steps carried him right up to the dock, where he finally found my underwear. Bending down, he picked them up, analyzing them closely.

Deciding to leave my hiding spot, I fanned my arms out and kicked off the piling so that he could see me. When his eyes lined up with mine, his lips parted.

"Oh, hello," I greeted with an impish smile.

"Bella," he choked, and walked directly to the edge, panties in hand. "Are you…?"

Naked? Oh, yes. "If you found all my clothes scattered around your backyard, then I think you have your answer," I quipped.

His eyes filled with dark lust, and the corner of his mouth turned up, matching my devilish grin. He suddenly threw my panties into the water.

"Hey!" I shouted, my mouth agape.

"Now you won't be able to wear them until you go home."

I glowered at him, but couldn't help smiling. "I'll get you back for that."

He squinted at the water, as if searching for something. He was definitely trying to get a peek at me.

"Well, are you coming in or what? The water is _so _warm," I lied, and tilted my head back, re-wetting my hair.

Instead of answering, he chuckled and began undoing the buttons on his plaid shirt. Once that was off, he dropped it to the dock and lifted his undershirt up and over his head. His athletic upper body practically glowed, the sunrays hitting him just right.

He worked on his jeans next, toeing his shoes and socks off while pushing the pants down his legs. Finally, his briefs were all that were left. I sunk my face into the water, up to the bridge of my nose. My eyes were searing into him, watching what he would do next. He was watching me, too—very intently.

He pulled down his briefs slowly and…Oh, Lord.

His erection was revealed, hard and thick. I couldn't take my eyes off it, and I knew it was rude to stare, but there was no way I could stop. I blew out a long breath under the water, my vision blurring over.

Suddenly, it was gone, and there was a giant splash behind me. After a moment, his head surfaced next to me.

"Shit," he near shouted as he rubbed the water out of his eyes. "This isn't warm. You lied to me, Bella."

I laughed, fully amused. "I told you I'd get you back."

He reached under the water, pulling my leg. I squealed as I was dragged to him. "I'll just have to figure out a way to get my revenge on you, then," he said gruffly, wrapping my leg around his waist.

I gasped, feeling the tip of his length poking the area I was now craving him. He groaned, deep in his throat, and wound his arms around me as we floated in the water. I smoothed my hands over his hair and brought them down to lock together at the back of his neck.

We had a moment, just staring at each other in silence, letting the moment sink in. Neither of us were smiling anymore. It made it all the more real.

"I don't think this is very fair," he said, his wet lips a millimeter from mine.

"What isn't?" I asked softly.

His hands slithered from the curve of my back and down to my butt, palming the cheeks as he pleased. I had to fight back voicing how much I enjoyed it.

"You've now seen me in all my glory, so I think I need to see you."

I locked my legs tighter around him, my heat grazing against him, almost cruelly. "Is that so?"

He squeezed my ass in turn. God, I wanted him. "I'm pretty sure it's part of the rules."

"And what rules are they?" I asked, amused.

One of his hands groped down the side of my thigh that was wrapped around him. "The rules of skinny dipping in my backyard."

I snorted. "Use your imagination," I whispered seductively.

His lips found my neck, causing me to sigh in pleasure. "I'll see you eventually."

_Wow_… his tongue was scorching a path up to the hollow of my ear. "Confident, huh?" I barely was able to question.

"Mm-hmm," was all he said, before he pulled back and captured my lips intensely. Tongues were quick to come out, bending and twisting around the other. Our actions were desperate, needing to possess the other to make up for all the time we'd spent apart.

My hands spread across the expanse of his broad shoulders and found their way to his chest. I slackened my legs around him and shimmied down his body a tad, wanting to rub myself against him. He was slick as I stroked him between my soaking folds. He grunted loudly, pressing his mouth harder to mine.

"God, Bella," he breathed. "Keep that up and I'll be contaminating the lake."

I giggled, pressing soft kisses to his jaw. "Maybe I want you to contaminate the lake," I spoke huskily, and weaved my fingers into his sopping hair. I pulled at the roots rough enough to let him know what I wanted.

His eyes, filled to the brim with desire, warmed me through to my very core. "Shit," he cursed, and crashed his mouth to mine.

With the way we were making out, it was getting hard to swim and do this. While still attached to each other, he swam us both to the side of the dock, grasping onto the ladder.

He finally pulled away, panting heavily. "I'll get out first and help you," he instructed.

I grabbed onto the ladder and watched as his entire body rose out of the water, his toned ass nearly in my face. My breathing was already out of control, but that just made it worse.

As soon as he was out, he squatted by the ladder, his hand reaching down to me. I was becoming aware that he'd be seeing me completely naked for the first time. I was fairly confident with my own body, but that didn't mean I wasn't still nervous.

I think he could tell, because the smile he emitted was so warm and made every doubt disappear from my head. Slowly, I placed my hand in his and positioned one foot on the first rung of the ladder. He pulled me up, and I was soon bare to him, the water dripping off me. His eyes stayed on my face as I stepped onto the second rung, but now I _wanted_ him to look down.

Instead of stepping onto the dock, I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought my lips firmly onto his. He responded with equal fervor and placed his hands on my waist.

"Should I take you inside?" he asked, breaking away.

"No," I whispered, and we picked up right where we left off.

I pushed him back onto the dock so he was lying, giving me an opportunity to straddle his waist. My drenched hair surrounded him like a cocoon as I pressed short, wet kisses on his full mouth. His hands were on my slippery back, the curve of my ass, my thighs, and ending at cupping my breasts.

My entire thoughts were only of him, wanting him, needing him in a way that we'd never explored. When his thumbs rubbed around my nipples in sensual circles, I moaned in pleasure against his busy mouth. My tongue came out, tangling with his salty taste.

His hands were on my hips, pushing me back to sit directly on his straining erection. I ground myself against his length, igniting a throaty grunt from him.

"I want you so much," he spoke coarsely, and moved his mouth down to my neck, sucking the skin at the hollow of my throat.

I entangled my fingers into his seeping tresses. "You have me," I replied breathily, closing my eyes, which only heightened the sensations.

He shifted my hips against him again, letting me know he wanted friction. I did, too, so I began rocking back and forth rhythmically. A fire of pleasure set ablaze within me at the feeling of him sliding between my folds. He enjoyed it, as well, his breathing letting me know exactly how much.

I sat up straight, running my hands over his defined chest, as I continued my torturous movements. His eyes were glued to my body, observing it appreciatively and watching me rock against him. They roamed vertically past my stomach, breasts, and stopped at my face. He brought his hands up, cupping my flushed cheeks, and ran his thumbs over my swollen lips.

I suddenly halted my movements and bent down to him, covering his mouth with my own. He pushed his fingers into my tangled hair, causing me to sigh.

I wanted to tell him so much how I felt about him, but I couldn't find any words to describe this feeling of absolute adoration, lust, and completion. He had me entirely, my heart, my soul. Maybe I was just caught up in the moment, but it was as if no one but him mattered in the world. I wondered if he felt the same way about me.

Reaching behind me, I took hold of his hard member and positioned it right at my entrance. With a look at him, I confirmed that he was beyond ready for this next step. So, I pushed down, engulfing him until he was completely inside of me. I shut my eyes briefly, my lips parting from the sensation of feeling him so deep within. God, it felt good and he wasn't even moving inside of me yet.

I opened my eyes when his fingers stroked my back, so tenderly. He was patient, waiting for me to adjust to him. I smiled, placing my hands near the sides of his head and finally began to lift myself slowly. His hands went to my waist, guiding me. When I rose as far up as I could without him pulling out of me, I sank back down. He slipped inside me easily, earning a guttural groan from him.

After repeating the action a few times, I finally was able to set a pace—slow and steady to start with. He remained staring up at me with raw emotion, watching me work him, and I couldn't help closing my eyes every now and then, the deep pleasure becoming intense. I picked up my pace a little, turning into a slight bounce.

"Does it feel good?" he asked in a rasp.

I nodded, unable to voice my reply. Our fingers linked together on his chest.

"Show me what you want, Bella."

I understood what he meant and brought one of his hands down to my slick heat. His thumb immediately found my swollen bundle of nerves and began rubbing in tight circles, smoothing the moisture around.

There was a slow, steady building beginning to occur in my stomach, causing the rest of my body to tingle all over. Scraping my fingernails down his chest, I moaned.

So wrapped up in what he was doing to me, I barely heard him curse under his breath.

Steadily, my rocking motions grew faster and faster, and he matched my pace, rubbing me even quicker. After a while, it was inevitable that I was on the verge of succumbing to a powerful force my body craved desperately.

My walls clamped down on him hard, and my eyes squeezed shut. The orgasm that overcame me was so strong that I couldn't even cry out, because I was holding my breath.

When the high was over, I was a panting mess. I stopped moving and opened my eyes to see Edward gazing up at me in wonder.

"You're amazing," he uttered.

I grinned lazily and fell down on him, my breasts pressing against his chest. He placed light kisses against my lips, knowing I was too spent for the moment to respond.

Finally, I was recovered enough to continue, but instead of picking the pace back up, he flipped us carefully so that we remained attached. I was on my back and he was half over me, his hips between my thighs. The dock beneath was extremely uncomfortable, but I was much too absorbed in him to even care.

"Are you okay?" he questioned.

"Mm-hmm," I hummed, and pulled his lips down to mine.

As our mouths and tongues wrestled fervently, he grabbed the back of one of my knees and lifted my leg to rest on his shoulder. He slipped deeper inside me automatically, causing both of us to gasp into each other's mouth.

His mouth detached from mine, much to my dismay, and his hand grabbed onto my thigh as he pulled out of me and entered me fluidly. He did it again, making me bite my lower lip. I could feel him so deep inside of me like this.

After a little teasing on his part, he set himself in motion, desperate for his own pleasure. I watched him closely as a lock of hair fell onto his forehead, and his eyes fluttered closed. He was so handsome like this—dripping wet and overtaken by desire. I knew I'd never tire of seeing him so intimately bare to me.

I hooked my free leg around his waist, encouraging him to go faster. He groaned and obliged, picking up his speed so rapidly, I thought I might pass out from how good it felt.

His face dropped in between my shoulder and neck, his breaths scorching against my skin. "God, Bella," he half-panted, half-moaned. He was close, but holding back.

"It's okay. Let go," I whispered.

His fingers were harshly digging into my thigh, his pace increasing even more. He abruptly pulled his face away from my shoulder and brutally attached his mouth to mine. He wasn't even kissing me, just feeling my lips and warm breath against his.

I slithered my hand down to his toned ass, squeezing harshly. He suddenly groaned into my mouth, and I could feel him pulse inside me. He pumped into me a few more times before he stopped and moved his lips to my jaw, pecking there lightly.

My fingers were caressing his back languidly, soothing him to recovery. He lifted his eyes to mine finally and smirked lazily.

"That was just as I imagined," he admitted, his breath still catching up to him.

I chuckled. "You imagined this?"

"More times than I probably should've," he answered, and slipped out of me. He fell to my side, bringing me onto his chest.

I was beginning to feel a slight prickle on my butt and the back of my legs. I reached behind me, trying to rub the sting away. Dock sex was a good idea in theory, but maybe not something to explore in the future.

"What's wrong?" he questioned, worried. Apparently, I was making a face.

"I hadn't cared before, but now I realize how uncomfortable I was."

He snorted. "Your ass is hurting?"

I nodded, smiling sheepishly.

"Want me to rub it?" he offered, but didn't let me answer. He merely took the liberty of smoothing his large hands over my ass and rubbing in circles, making sure to generously squeeze every now and then.

"I think you're enjoying it much more than you should be," I teased.

He chuckled. "I admit, I'll be looking to have sex on the dock a lot more if this is part of the deal afterward."

I rolled my eyes and then kissed him chastely. "We'll see."

He sighed contentedly, grazing his fingers up my back. I enjoyed this simple moment in its entirety—us, lazing on his dock, naked. I wanted more precious moments like this.

"What does _mi alma _mean?" I asked out of the blue.

His light eyes were smoldering into mine, and I almost got lost in them. "You remember I said that last night?"

I nodded.

He moved a few wet strands of hair out of my face and swept the back of his knuckles across my cheek. "It means 'my soul' in Spanish."

I was speechless. He thought me of like that? That was…well…that was exactly how I thought about him. However, knowing how much we meant to each other scared me.

A few wet, cold drops of water splashed onto my back, causing me to furrow my brow. Edward was looking up at the dark, gray sky. I guess he'd felt it, too. There would most likely be rain soon.

Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a heavy blanket of freezing rain covered us.

"Oh my God," I shouted in a panic, and stood up on the dock along with Edward. "Where the hell did that come from?"

We were both even more soaking wet than before, shocked by the abrupt onslaught of thick rain.

"We should get you inside," he yelled over the loud, clapping thunder above us.

I nodded and took his hand as he quickly led us down the dock and across the now muddy grass. I slipped unexpectedly, but he caught me in time, setting me back on my feet. We stumbled onto the back porch, laughing freely and leaving muddy footprints.

"Did anyone see us?" I asked frantically, wringing the water out of my hair.

"Bella, there's no one around for miles," he assured. "Let's get you in the house. It's cold."

He hurriedly opened the screen door for me, and I stepped inside. He shut the screen, then the door, muffling the sounds of the storm. Since we were wet and our feet were covered in mud, he suggested we take showers once the storm died, which it did very shortly. Of course, I wasn't going to let him take one separately. I joined him, and it was hard keeping our hands off each other, but we knew that now, we didn't have to.

X-X-X-X

We lay on his bed after we showered, me on my stomach, resting my head on my arms, while he faced me on his side, drawing random patterns on my back. I had to guess what they were.

"A star?" I questioned, his most recent pattern baffling me.

"Guess again," he said, and drew the shape once more. It seemed to have sharp spokes.

"Okay, I give up."

"It's the sun."

I scoffed. "The sun _is_ a star."

"Yeah, but the sun is the sun," he reasoned, causing me to snort at his logic. "A star is drawn one way, and the sun is drawn another."

"Fine," I sighed.

"Guess this one," he said, and began moving his fingertips lightly across my back in long, slow loops.

"What is that?" I asked curiously.

He chuckled. "You have to guess."

"Is it a picture?"

"No, they're words."

I pursed my lips and waited for him to draw a second time. Once he finished, I decided to guess; though, still unsure. "Isabella Swan?" I queried with a grin, knowing I was most likely wrong.

"No," he laughed. "Try again. They're three words."

I raised a suspicious eyebrow. He wrote the words slowly on my back in cursive, and I could feel the familiar loops. It was as if I could see it spelled out in my mind. My breath hitched quietly, and I fought against that fluttering feeling inside, when it fully clicked what he wrote. However, I wasn't sure if I wanted to acknowledge that right now, so I said the only thing I could to avoid it.

"Make me pancakes?"

He kissed my naked back chastely. "Yep. You win," he said in a heavy sigh, and paused for a moment, making me shift nervously. "So, are you going to make me some?" he asked, earning a small smile from me.

I moaned in a whine, pretending as if he was punishing me, and reached over the edge of the bed for something to wear. I found one of his plaid shirts and threw it on, the bottom of my ass cheeks just covered.

"You're really going to make some for me?" he inquired, surprised when he saw me hopping off the bed.

I merely exited the room, leaving him in bed as he stared after me. The pancake mix was still there from earlier in the morning, so I grabbed the box, a bowl, and got to work.

Later, I was whisking eggs into the mix, when I felt a warm body press firmly against me from behind. Large hands roamed my front, feeling me everywhere through my shirt.

Edward's breath was hot at my ear, and he placed a gentle kiss there. "You know that's not what I wrote," he acknowledged, an underlying sadness in his tone that had me swallowing thickly.

I wanted to answer…I _really_ did. I would say exactly what I felt when we were on the dock with our bodies entwined and our hearts thrumming for each other. Those emotions were there, right on the verge, on the very tip of my tongue…but I couldn't, because what if I put myself out there, and it didn't work out? What if I put my heart on the line, and then it was destroyed again?

Before I could even form one word, his hands and heat were gone, and I was left to my own thoughts.

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**A/N: **

***sigh* Lots happened—explanations, rekindling, honesty, dock sex, and an interesting game of "Guess what I'm drawing on your back." **

**I hope the past couple chapters have shown you that Mr. Imperfect is not perfect. Bella made a mistake by going to Jasper's house when she should've been on a date with Edward, but he also made a mistake by not listening or wanting to work it out. He prolonged the hurt, grief, and jealousy he felt, and he caused her pain, as well. Now that things are out in the open, they're going to work it out, but all is not fixed. Bella is still wounded, and Edward still has insecurities. **

**For those that haven't seen it, there's a poll on my profile asking you to choose your top three chapters from chapters 1-10 to have as an EPOV outtake. I'll be taking that poll down when I post chapter 21, where I'll then ask you to vote for your top 3 from chapters 11-20.**

**See ya next Tuesday? You betcha.  
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**Twitter: xrxdanixrx

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**This story is up for a Walk of Fame award in the category of "Twinkle Toes." Not sure what that means, but go vote for it! Link is on my profile. ****  
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	21. He Vied for Me: Part One

**A/N: **

**Like always, there was a mixed reaction; however, more of you sympathized with Bella and didn't fault her for not saying anything back to Edward. Some felt it was too quick for her to sleep with him. Not really—given her history with sex. What can I say? She's kinda easy…lol. Joking aside, it just felt right for her in that moment. **

**I have to share this review I got because it absolutely made my heart melt. It's from AlicesDances01, and she wrote, "Random fact: my husband actually proposed to me by writing the words 'marry me' on my back, just like Edward did with 'I love you'. :)" That is so sweet! I'm such a girl! **

**Beta is Lindz26. Shabbyapple pre-read. Thanks to Charmie77 for also taking a look and being completely honest. This chapter was a hair-puller for me, and these girls really helped me feel okay for putting this out there. "Brave" as Charmie said, and I said "brave or just stupid." Haha.

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE  
*HE VIED FOR ME*  
-Part One-**

I wound up spending an extra night with Edward. Because of that, I had to wake up even earlier than I normally would so I could run home, change, and head to work. So, begrudgingly, I got out of bed, with a lingering glance to Edward's serene, sleeping face. He didn't budge, even though the floor boards were quite rickety.

I made sure to leave him a note before I left, telling him to text me later. If I left it in the kitchen, I was sure he would see it.

The whole drive home dampened my spirits. It had kind of been like I was in a bubble for the last day and a half. I hadn't wanted to leave it so soon, but I had to remember my responsibilities.

Work started out tedious, and I feared the day would drag, until I received a text message from Edward while in my office.

_**My bed was empty when I woke up. – Edward**_

I smiled, glad to see he was finally awake.

_**Sorry. Blame work. – Bella**_

_**I will. Lunch? – Edward**_

_**Sure, but what about the long drive? – Bella**_

I waited for a response for quite a while, but there was none. There were a million calls I had to make up for my absence yesterday, so reluctantly, I turned off my phone to conserve battery. If Edward needed to reach me, he knew my work extension.

At around noon, Rose asked if I'd like to go to lunch with her, but I declined and told her Edward had asked. One problem—he hadn't called me, so maybe we weren't going to be able to have lunch together.

I was finishing up a follow-up call, when Jasper came into my office and stood across from my desk.

"Jasper," I greeted, surprised to see him. "I thought you were going for a lunch meeting."

"It was canceled at the last minute. Maybe you'd like to accompany me out to lunch? We can go to our usual."

"Oh," I said with a frown. I was just about to explain that I couldn't, when my work line rang. I answered it quickly. "Isabella Swan."

"Bella, Edward Masen is here to see you," Angela informed. "Can I send him up?"

I was shocked, but no doubt happy. "Okay, yes," I said, trying to contain a smile, and hung up.

"So, shall we get a move on?" Jasper asked. "If we leave now, we can get there just before the work crowd."

I sighed, looking down at my desk. "Yes, that's true, but—"

"You can continue your work when you get back. You need a break, and…" he cleared his throat "…I really need to talk to you."

I raised an eyebrow. "What about?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Well, that's why I want to go out for lunch."

There was a forceful knock, and both of us looked to my office door. Edward was standing in the doorway, with an unreadable expression on his face. He certainly didn't look thrilled. Jasper's head whipped back to mine angrily.

"Call security," Jasper ordered me.

"What? No!" I exclaimed.

"Believe it or not, Jasper. I'm not here to punch you out again," Edward said with a smirk. "I'm taking Bella to lunch."

Jasper's flaming eyes were on me, practically turning me to ash in my seat. "You're going to _lunch_ with _him_? Are you out of your damn mind?"

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "No, I'm not."

"I'll just wait outside the door for you, Bella," Edward said, giving me a meaningful look before disappearing.

"After all he did to you?" Jasper questioned blasphemously. "You're just going back to him?"

I gathered my purse off the ground and stood from my chair. "I'm not _just _going back to him," I answered defensively. "There are things to work out, obviously, but we're giving it another try."

For a second, his eyes sunk, until they changed back to anger. "What about those girls you said he was with?"

"It was just a misunderstanding."

"Of course he's going to make it seem like that, Bella," he growled in a whisper. "You barely know the guy."

"I know a lot more than you think," I spoke tersely, and walked around the desk. "Jasper, we're at work. I don't want to talk about this."

He sighed, aggravated. "You're right. I'll call you later tonight." Before I could even object, he quickly exited my office, shooting a quick glare off to the side of the door.

I walked out and Edward was immediately by my side. His fingers wove into mine as we trekked across the main office.

"I say we go to my place and throw your cell phone into the lake," he said, and I couldn't tell if he was serious or not.

Once we reached the elevator, I stopped and turned to him. "You're not going to start this up again, right?" I was referring to his irrational jealousy over Jasper that appeared to never have ebbed in the least.

"No," he answered, trying to seem innocent. "Just making a joke."

I quirked an eyebrow, then pressed the elevator button. I squeezed his hand, reminding him that it was his hand I was holding.

X-X-X-X

We lay in my bed, completely bare, winding down after a couple hours of being entangled and sweaty together. It was hard to keep our hands off each other now that we took that step of intimacy in our relationship.

He was currently kissing my fingers one by one as I rested on him like a lazy cat.

"I love these fingers," he whispered, kissing my pinky.

Sometimes he said the sweetest things. "They're just fingers."

He inspected them closely. "They're elegant and long, and they're yours, which makes them all the more better." He kissed my palm and then set my hand down on his chest. "There are also other things I love."

I had an inkling what he was referring to, but I still wasn't ready to address that. But, stupid me, I had to ask. "Like what?"

He tilted my chin up so I was looking directly at him. His eyes were full of such emotion that I almost wanted to turn away bashfully at the intensity. "Your nose," he said softly, and gently dragged his fingertip down the bridge of my nose. "You have a cute little bump at the end."

"No, I don't," I giggled, knowing he was just teasing.

He smiled. "I love your eyes." He leaned into me, pecking the corner of one eye. "Your lips, too." His mouth pressed against mine slowly and deliberately, making my heart flutter. When he pulled back, I barely remembered what it was we'd been talking about.

"You love a lot of things," I said in a single breath.

He nodded. "Yeah, I do."

We stayed quiet for a long moment, just breathing and being in each other's presence. He suddenly moved his upper body out from under me and reached over the bed. When he picked up his boxer briefs from the floor, I frowned.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, moving completely off him to rest against the bed.

He pulled the duvet off and swung his feet to the ground. One by one, he put his legs through his briefs. "I've gotta head out," he said, and stood, bringing up the waistband just above the swell of his ass.

"Nooo," I whined, and reached to him, hooking a finger into the waistband of his briefs to bring him to me. "Why are you leaving?"

He bent over the bed, placing a kiss to my forehead, before throwing on the rest of his clothes. "I have to get up early tomorrow because Emmett's coming over. We're going to install a porch swing on the back porch as well as pick up some lawn chairs I ordered."

I sighed, watching him as he bent down to pick up his discarded, thick socks. "Can't you go later? Why do you have to leave now?"

He sat on the edge of the bed, putting on his socks. "I'd love to leave later, but I don't want to drive in the dark."

I looked out the window at the darkening sky. "By the time you get on the highway, it's going to be dark, so what's the difference going now and going a little later?" I usually wasn't this needy, but I wasn't ready for him to leave just yet. "How about you stay until I fall asleep?"

I may have gotten through to him, because he suddenly sighed and smiled. He lay back down on the bed and molded his front to my back, wrapping his arms around me. "I can do that."

I snuggled back into him, closing my eyes. "Good," I murmured.

Twenty minutes later, I wasn't falling asleep. I kept moving around a lot and trying to get comfortable. Knowing Edward was going to leave was making me restless.

"Go to sleep," he whispered, quietly chuckling.

"I can't. I'm not tired."

"Here," he said, and pushed his fingers in my hair. He began stroking my scalp soothingly. Oh, that felt nice. "Better?"

"Mm-hmm," I hummed noncommittally, feeling at ease in an instant.

Before I knew it, I was falling asleep.

I woke up to the sound of a loud creaking noise. Opening my sleepy eyes, I saw Edward sneakily leaving my room. I yawned, barely awake, and flipped on my side to fall back asleep.

"What the hell are you doing here?" a rich, familiar voice asked, causing me to come back into consciousness.

"Jasper…?" I rasped, and sat up in confusion, bringing the blanket up to cover my bare chest. Was it my imagination that I heard him?

"I should be asking you that," Edward replied, his tone hard.

Oh no.

I wanted to groan in aggravation. Jasper coming here would only fuel Edward's issues with him. Why did he have to come? Hadn't he said earlier he'd call?

"Well, you just wormed your way back into her life, didn't you?" Jasper questioned arrogantly.

I should've thrown some clothes on, gone out there, and told him to leave, as well as told Edward not to fuel an argument, but all I could do was remain in bed, listening.

"I didn't do anything except show her how much she means to me."

"Bull. I don't believe that for a second," Jasper snapped.

"Believe what you want. It's Bella's opinions I care about."

"Says the guy who dumped her because he thought I was going to swoop in and steal her."

"You_ did_ try to make a move," Edward seethed.

I buried my face in my hands. This was exactly what I didn't want to have happen. I felt helpless. Both guys meant something to me in different ways. I used to think Jasper was my all, but now he was very much just my friend, and Edward was so much more to me than just a friend. My feelings for him were so strong. Sometimes I thought I might burst from how much I adored him.

"She needed to see that I still love her," Jasper spoke. "You, on the other hand, don't give a damn about her."

"You don't know what the hell I feel." Edward's tone was vicious.

"I didn't come here for an argument. I came here to see her, so where is she?"

"She's asleep in the bedroom. You can see her tomorrow at work, like every normal boss."

"She means more to me than just an employee," Jasper said angrily, but with heartfelt emotion. "Have you met her parents? Do you know everything she likes and dislikes? You've been dating her for barely a couple months. You don't feel the way I feel about her."

"And you dated her cousin after how long of being with Bella?"

I gasped, my fingers digging into the mattress. Something was telling me to let them just duke it out for now, but I wanted so badly to make them stop.

"Obviously, I make mistakes. However, I'm committed to Bella now. I'm positive you know that she'd be better with me. I can give her a good life, which you can't."

"What makes you think I can't give her a good life?"

"I think I know her a little better than you, Edward. And if you really liked her, you'd see that," Jasper said. There were a few moments of silence between them, and I thought maybe they'd left. "Here. This is hers, so give it to her. Tell her I was cleaning off the clutter on my desk and found it."

I heard the front door close a second later and Edward's heavy footsteps grow nearer. Frazzled, I quickly lay back down. My bedroom door pushed open, revealing Edward's tall, black form. It was fairly dark in the room, so I knew he couldn't see that my eyes were wide open, which was a good thing, because my sight was glued to watching him pace by my bed.

On the spur of the moment, I decided to let him know I was conscious.

"Edward?" I croaked, pretending as if I'd just awoken.

His head snapped in my direction, and in a flash, he was sitting on the bed next to me, caressing the side of my head. "Hey," he whispered. "Did you just wake up?"

"Yeah. I thought you were leaving."

He sighed. "I'm about to right now, so go back to sleep." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head before getting off the bed and walking to the door.

He was leaving without talking about what had happened? Was he going to tell me about Jasper at all? When we'd gotten back together, I told him that I needed him to trust me, and if he was hiding things, then clearly, there was no trust between us. This relationship wouldn't last much longer if this was how it was going to be.

Edward was half out of my room, when he suddenly turned back around and walked to the side of my bed again.

"Bella?" he asked quietly. "Have you gone back to sleep?"

"No."

He sat down again. "I need to talk to you before I leave."

"Okay…" I said warily, and sat up, positioning myself so my back was resting against the headboard.

"While you were asleep, Jasper came over."

I wanted to sigh in relief. He was telling me. I'd really thought he wouldn't for a minute, there. "What did he want?" I asked.

"I think he was here to talk to you. I told him you were asleep and that you'd see him tomorrow."

Sort of the truth…I could deal with that. "Oh, okay," I said coolly. "Anything else?"

He cleared his throat. "I…well," he fumbled, and then removed something from his pocket. "He dropped this off for you. I didn't look inside." He placed a small jewelry box on top of the duvet. The same one that Jasper had given me on my birthday. I'd completely forgotten about it.

I smiled at him, and suddenly, I was throwing myself into his lap, wrapping my naked arms and legs around him. He grunted in surprise, but held on tight to me.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what's this for?" he questioned, digging his face into my hair.

"I heard everything you said out there," I spoke softly into his ear.

He pulled back in alarm. "You did?"

"I was afraid you wouldn't tell me about Jasper."

He frowned. "I wasn't…"

I figured he'd hesitated. "So, then, why did you?"

"I just…I don't want to hide things from you, Bella. You said you wanted to be with me, and I believe you."

I brought my lips to his neck and pecked him. "I do, and I'm glad."

"But…" His voice trailed. I didn't like the sound of that. "I don't think I can give you everything you need."

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"I need you to really think about what you want, Bella. If you stay with me, you're not going to have a very extravagant life. You won't have limos, expensive gifts all the time, tickets to Paris. He can give you what I can't."

I shook my head. "For the record, I've never gotten tickets to Paris, and where is this coming from?"

His sullen eyes weren't looking at me, but instead, somewhere behind me. "This is coming from me, wanting to see you happy. And I don't know if what I have will keep you that way."

"Edward," I started, cupping his face in my hands. "What you have means so much more than any expensive gift in the world. Sure, Jasper can buy an overpriced bottle of wine or book a penthouse suite at The Plaza, but those are just material things." I pressed a hand to his chest, spreading my fingers out and feeling the increasing beat pulse against my palm. "This is what I want. Your heart. And you can't put a price on that. Give me that, and I'll always be happy."

His warm lips touched mine reverently, wearing his emotions on his sleeve. He pulled away, after leaving me with one last peck. "There's no question whether you have that," he replied sincerely. "But please, just think about it, okay?"

I glared at him. Had he heard anything I'd just said? "There's nothing to think about."

"Yes, there is. I want you to really be sure. Promise me you'll think about it. Please." He was looking at me so hopefully. I didn't know why this was so important to him, but it was, so I nodded. He looked down at the untouched jewelry box. "So...do you like these earrings?"

I arched a single eyebrow. "You said you didn't see inside the box."

He seemed to register his slip-up. "Oh, yeah," he chuckled, but still, overall, looked downcast. "I may have taken a quick look."

I took the jewelry box and set it out of the way, on my nightstand. "You know, when I first saw them, I barely cared. I mean, he'd shelled out a lot of money for them, so I should've, yet I didn't. But when you gave me your mother's pearl earrings—that meant something."

He grinned, looking down timidly. "What are you doing tomorrow after work?"

"Nothing."

"Come over to my house straight after you finish. I want you to see exactly what you're in for."

"You make that sound like a punishment."

He chuckled and moved me off him, laying me down on the bed. "It isn't—you'll see. Now, go to bed."

I asked him to stay again, and he did, waiting patiently until I fell into a deep sleep.

X-X-X-X

When I arrived at work, everyone was stealing glances at me as I passed through the main office. It was extremely unsettling, and I thought I was perhaps crazy. Most all the women were casting me small smiles that I couldn't comprehend.

I took a sharp turn and went directly into the break room. Angela was there, pouring coffee for herself. I greeted her casually as I took a mug out of the cupboard.

"Hi, Bella," she responded, as if in a daze.

I furrowed my brow and looked at her out of my peripheral as I poured coffee into my mug. "How are you?"

"I'm okay, but you must be_ really_ good."

I turned to her, bewildered. She was smiling giddily. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"So, are you two…?" she prompted, looking excited and hopeful.

Was she crazy? "Angela, I don't know what you're talking about."

She frowned. "My Ben never does anything like that for me."

"What?" I asked in confusion. "Is something going on? Everyone's been staring at me for some reason."

Her mouth fell agape. "Have you not seen your office? It's wide open."

Without another word, I walked out of the break room. There were more sly glances as I walked up to my office, which was, in fact, open, with the lights turned on. When my eyes scanned over the expanse of the room, I gasped.

Vases of roses…everywhere. On my desk, on my cabinet, on top of my bookshelf. Most all of them were lavender roses, except for two red roses that were mixed in randomly with the lavender ones.

I was in shock. They were absolutely beautiful, no doubt, but who'd done this?

In the vase with the red roses, I saw a small, white card.

_**Two red roses for how many years you've brought purpose into my life.**_

My face grew warm as I brought the card down to my side. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw another white card in a bouquet of only lavender roses.

_**Twenty-six lavender roses for how many years I lived without you.**_

Wow…

"And one pink rose for the only woman in my heart, now and forever."

I spun around at the voice, seeing Jasper directly behind me with a single pink rose in his hand. "Jasper," I gasped. Oh my God. These were from _him_. I felt an onslaught of nervousness. Why was he doing this?

"Good morning, Bella," he greeted with a charming grin. "You look as beautiful as ever." He handed me the pink rose. "This is for you."

"Thank you," I uttered quietly, unable to properly find my voice.

His blue eyes were piercing into me. "Well, have a good day," he said, and simply walked out of my office.

After a long—very long—moment, I shook my head from my daze and finally was able to find some sense. I quickly followed after him. He was in his office, just about to sit at his desk.

"Jasper," I spoke with conviction, garnering his attention. "You shouldn't have done that."

He shrugged with a smile. "It wasn't any trouble at all. You deserve them."

I quirked a scrutinizing eyebrow. "You know exactly what I mean," I snapped, knowing he was just diverting from why I was suddenly so frustrated. "Remember, we talked about this. All we can ever be is just friends."

"Yes," he said, distracted as he searched through papers on his desk. "And this was nothing more than me expressing my friendly affections towards you." He flashed me a quick grin before busying himself again.

Oh, he was infuriating! I didn't know what to think. On one hand, I loved that he was so thoughtful like this, but I needed him to also remember his place in my life. He'd made it very clear to Edward that he wasn't backing down from being with me again, and that left me in a very difficult predicament. If this continued, I would need to make some drastic changes—ones that I'd rather not have to do, if I could avoid it.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Jasper, just…please, don't try to—"

"Bella," he interrupted firmly. "What was your first reaction when you saw the roses? Be honest."

I sighed heavily. "That they were beautiful."

"Exactly. So, that's all that matters to me—that it made you happy for the moment."

"Yes, but—"

"Did you receive your birthday gift last night?" he asked, interrupting me once again.

I placed my hands on my hips. "Yes, I did. But I don't think I'll be keeping it."

He furrowed his brow. "It's just a gift. In fact, you deserve a lot more than just earrings." He gave me a meaningful look. Wait…was he implying what I thought he was? "Those are the earrings you wanted from that Cartier catalogue," he continued. "I phoned a few places and found that this small boutique in New York had them. They didn't deliver, so I took a flight out there and arrived back home just in time for your birthday."

"You…remember that?" I was a bit speechless, not to mention surprised—one, that he remembered, and two, that he'd traveled that far to get them.

He stood and walked around the desk to me. His eyes were soft, gazing reverently at me. "Bella, I remember everything about you…like how you separate all your food from each other so that it doesn't touch. Or how you straighten things when you're anxious." He placed his hands on my arms, very lightly. "How your eyes turn amber when the sun hits them directly…"

My face warmed, causing me to look down. I didn't know what to say to that. Thankfully, a throat cleared behind us. We both looked to the doorway, seeing Rose standing there with a white binder in her arms. She was staring at me like a scolding mother would.

"Ah, Rose," Jasper acknowledged, his voice sounding distant. "Yes…well, I suppose you're here for that conference call. Come inside."

"I was going to," she replied, and entered, her eyes never leaving mine.

Jasper went back to his desk, Rose in tow, so I took the opportunity to slip out. As soon as I was in my office, I locked the door and tried to find my way to my desk through all the roses. I couldn't have been more eager for the day to end.

X-X-X-X

"Are you ready?" Edward asked with a smirk.

I was looking through my purse for a hair tie, because he'd said I'd need my hair out of my face. When I found one and tied my hair up, I finally regarded him. "I hope so," I said warily.

He hadn't told me what he had in mind for us today, so I was on my guard. However, I was sure that whatever it was, it was making him happy, so it couldn't be bad.

I followed him out of his house and to the shed. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, allowing me to go in first.

I remembered being in here when Rose appraised his collection last year. It was dark, with just the light from the window shining through. He turned on the light, showing how extremely empty it was, save for some paint buckets and various sized brushes. The entire floor was covered in several white linen sheets.

"So, what are we doing?" I questioned.

"Now that my father's antiques are gone, I have nothing to do with this room, so I thought I'd let my mom get use out of it when she comes over."

I smiled, looking around. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well, she likes to read, so I'm going to build a bookshelf, and she can come in here to have privacy. She also likes to make things, so I want to put in a desk and tons of supplies in here for her to work with."

"Make things?" I asked curiously. "Like what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know…_things_. She's pretty crafty. "

"Ah," I said, understanding. "She's like a Martha Stewart."

He chuckled. "Yeah." He walked over to the buckets on the ground. "Anyway, I was going to spend this evening painting the walls. I thought you could help me. Is that okay?"

I nodded and joined him, staring down at the various colored paints. "What color?"

"Uh," he said, looking hesitant, and then pointed to a bucket.

I scoffed. "Dark green?"

He brought a hand to the back of his neck. "This is why I need you."

"Yeah, you do," I laughed. The colors he had were masculine, save for the white and pale yellow. "How about we first paint everything yellow and then use the white to decorate."

He agreed on that and said he needed to go into the house briefly to get something. When he left, all I could think about was what he'd told me last night. He wanted me to think on our relationship, to see if it was best for me. Given that there were some wounds and trust issues left over from our recent separation, I had to admit that I was taking his request seriously.

Today was supposed to show me what I was supposedly in for. But I didn't think he quite understood how much painting a room for his mother appealed to me. Maybe to another woman it would seem like hard, unnecessary labor, but in my opinion, it was such a sweet gesture.

A few minutes later, he came back inside, holding a giant, white, folded up fabric. He had a sheepish grin on his face as he held it out to me.

I took it hesitantly, giving him a confused expression. "What's this?" I asked, unfolding it and revealing a…Oh God.

"It's a paint suit," he said. "I thought you might not want to ruin your clothes."

I looked down at myself. I was wearing my work attire—a gray pencil skirt and a thin burgundy sweater. I definitely didn't want to get paint on me.

"Take your clothes off," he demanded.

I lifted my head, seeing his smirk. "You set me up," I accused jokingly.

He chuckled. "It's definitely a bonus to see you strip for me."

I rolled my eyes and threw the paint suit at him, which he caught easily. After taking off my sweater and skirt, I was left in just my matching royal blue bra and panties set. Even without looking at him, I knew his eyes were nowhere near my face.

I straightened the back of my underwear to sit perfectly over my ass and then finally looked up at him. His lips were slightly parted, his eyes mirroring his, no doubt, x-rated thoughts. I was so close to taking advantage of the moment, but I couldn't let him be distracted from doing something for his mother. So, begrudgingly, I held out my hand.

"Wanna stop staring at me and give me the suit?" I asked, my tone playful.

He cleared his throat, coming out of his stupor, but not removing his eyes from my breasts. "Yeah," he said, and outstretched the suit to me.

I took it from him and proceeded to put it on. It was _humongous_. I was practically drowning in it. As I finished zipping it up, I looked at Edward, who was clearly suppressing a laugh.

"This is huge," I whined, fiddling with the sleeves of the suit. I jiggled my arms in the air, showing how much room there was.

He snorted loudly, causing me to glower at him. He stepped right up to me, wrapping his arms around my back. "You've never looked sexier."

I giggled. "You're such a liar."

"I'm serious," he dead-panned. "I can think of some good role-playing scenarios we can use with this."

I pushed against his chest, shaking my head in amusement. "Let's get to work."

We spent the next two hours painting the walls yellow with long paint rollers. We hadn't exactly been productive most of the time. He kept goofing off, trying to roll yellow paint onto my suit every chance he got. Three times he tried, and each time, he got me. As a result, my suit had random, thick lines of yellow on it. I tried getting him back, but he was quick at dodging out of the way.

Just as the sun began to set, we finished painting the walls. I dipped a small paintbrush in a bucket of white, but immediately paused and pulled the brush out, deciding to change course.

"Maybe instead of the brush, we can sponge white onto the walls," I suggested, analyzing our work.

He took the paintbrush from me. "I'll have to go out and get sponges another day. The walls need a second coat, anyway, which Emmett and I can handle later."

"Emmett's coming over again?"

"Yeah, we still need to finish setting up the porch swing," he answered.

I was still staring at the walls intently, when Edward suddenly brushed cold, white paint onto the end of my nose. The back of my hand flew up to my face, trying to rub it off as I scowled at him. "Edward!" I scolded.

His smile was that of a mischievous ten year old boy. "You've got a little paint on your nose," he said innocently.

I huffed and grabbed the paintbrush from him. In a flash, I stroked white down his cheek with a triumphant smirk. "You've got some on your face."

He was stock-still with a flat expression. "I let you do that, you know," he said, and snatched the brush out of my hand. He tossed it to the ground and grabbed my hips, yanking me into his hard body, practically knocking the wind out of me. His hands went around to my ass, groping with abandon. I gasped in surprise, holding onto his shirt with a vice-like grip. He bent his head down and dug his face into the side of my neck while simultaneously walking me back into the wall.

"The paint is wet!" I said in alarm, just as my back collided.

He responded with a loud, throaty, animalistic grunt, pushing his groin into me. He was clearly enjoying himself.

I laughed at this perverted side to him. "If I have paint on my ass, it's your fault."

His teeth scraped against my neck. "Go ahead and punish me. It'll be worth it." He hitched my leg around his hip and ground into me.

I closed my eyes and sighed, my body tingling in pleasure. "Can we go inside?" I practically begged. I wanted him on his bed, on the floor, anywhere but in here where the paint fumes were making my head dizzy.

"Later," he breathed, just below my ear. "Emmett's coming over."

I gyrated into his notable erection, eliciting a hitch in breath from him. "Screw Emmett," I spoke.

He chuckled and pulled back to look down at me. "I don't think he'd like that very much."

I rolled my eyes and was about to tell him just to take me here if he wanted, when the sound of tires crunching over gravel thwarted my attempts.

"That'll be him," he remarked, and gave me a quick, unsatisfying peck on the lips.

That didn't work well for me at all, so I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed his mouth to mine. My tongue was in his mouth instantly. He gave in and groaned as our tongues twisted and twined, hands searching everywhere, lower halves desperately seeking friction.

I wasn't sure how much time passed, when there was a not so subtle throat clearing near the door, causing us to freeze. Flustered, we both pulled away from each other. Emmett was standing there with a cocky smirk, his arm slung around the shoulder of an equally cocky Rose.

"I would ask what you're doing," Emmett started, "but the giant ass print on the wall speaks for itself."

I whipped around to see that there was a defined butt mark on the wall—actually, it was more of a butt smudge. Edward was getting a kick out of it, cracking up. I hit him square in the chest.

"What?" he asked between chuckles. "My mom's gonna love it."

I huffed and walked over to Rose. "What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"I decided, instead of spending my Wednesday night watching the History Channel, I'd spend it watching these two fail at putting up a porch swing," she answered.

"Hey," Emmett snapped in faux offense. "You just wait. It's going to be the porch swing to top all porch swings."

After changing back into my clothes, Rose and I went out the back to watch the men put up the swing. It was surprising how they managed to do it with just one dim light, considering it was well into nighttime.

Watching Edward work with his hands was really quite arousing. I think it was the fact that he knew what he was doing, not even needing to look at any sort of instructions. He would tell Emmett what to do, and Emmett would follow his lead. It made me want to watch him put something together all the time. I wished I had been dating him when he was first building the gazebo. I might not have been able to keep my hands to myself.

When they were done, Rose and I were assigned to test out the large swinging seat. Thankfully, we didn't break the thing. Proud of themselves, Emmett and Edward went back to the shed to finish painting, while Rose stayed on the swing with me.

Even in the darkness, the moon hiding behind black clouds, I could make out the slight sway of the lake. The gentle breeze swung us back and forth without much effort on our part.

"You do realize you've had a non-stop smile plastered on your face this entire time, right?" Rose remarked.

Normally, I would've tried not to smile after that out of embarrassment, but I didn't much care. "Smiling is good," I replied simply.

"You have fun with him."

"I do have fun with Edward," I agreed.

"I find it interesting that I didn't even mention his name, yet you knew I was talking about him."

I rolled my eyes. "We're at his house, Rose. Who else would you be talking about?"

"We could be in the Sahara Desert right now, and you'd still know who I was talking about."

I didn't reply, choosing to go back to watching the darkened scenery. I mean, what did it matter if I automatically knew who she was talking about? Maybe I was just so in tune with her that I could instantly predict who she was referencing.

"So, he's really trying, huh?" she asked.

"Who, Edward?"

She chuckled, shaking her head. "No, Jasper."

"Oh," I sighed with a frown. "Uh…yeah, he is."

"I saw you earlier, you know."

I furrowed my brow, turning my head to her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, with the roses and the way you were looking at him," she said, causing me to bite the inside of my cheek. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," I responded honestly. I wasn't aware I'd been that transparent. "The roses were sweet. I used to love when he did things like that. And his words with them…"

"Do you still like him?" she inquired bluntly.

"I'll always like him, Rose. Am I still in love with him? No. Do I care for him? Yes."

"Okay, here's a better question. Do you still want to date him?" she questioned.

I blew out a long, slow breath, contemplating my answer. "Edward told me I should think about what I want."

"You certainly know how to dodge a question," Rose said with a chuckle, "but he's right. You should. Why does it sound like you're in two minds?"

Was I in two minds? I hadn't thought I was, but I didn't know now. I was sure that Edward was who I wanted, but sometimes, with Jasper, it was just really familiar and easy. I knew more or less what to expect from him, considering the amount of time we'd been together. There still were a lot of question marks surrounding me and Edward.

"I'm not sure," I stated. "I mean, Edward and I have only been back together for a couple days, and part of me still feels insecure that he might get up and walk away again. And then there's Jasper, who I was with for a long time, but he was able to drop me so easily, not to mention he dated my cousin. Could I really just go back to him after all that? Then again, he was there for me the entire time Edward wasn't around…" I was confusing myself just thinking about it.

"That sounds messy," Rose commented.

"Yeah," I breathed, exasperated. "And today, Jasper basically implied he'd like to marry me."

"He did?" She sounded shocked. I was, too, to be honest.

"He said that I deserved a lot more than just the earrings he bought me."

"Wow," Rose said.

"Last year, that was all I wanted him to say. I wanted a commitment and to know we were going somewhere, and now, when I'm with someone else, he says that to me. What am I supposed to say after something like that?"

"Have you and Edward talked about the future?"

"He told me he wanted marriage," I said, a warm feeling coming over me. I really liked how assertive Edward was. It was something I admired greatly about him. If only I could be like that. "But that was before he broke up with me."

"Hmm," Rose hummed. "So, because your relationship with Edward is so new and has been unstable so far, you're unsure how long it could last. With Jasper, you would essentially be picking up where you left off."

"No…well…I don't know," I said, and suddenly scowled. "This is Edward's fault, you know. He told me to think about it and now I am."

Emmett and Edward's loud laughs suddenly echoed out into the night from the shed. Rose and I turned our heads toward the sounds with small smiles. I liked that they were having fun

"Tell me," she said, pulling my attention back to her. "When you're with Edward, do you think about Jasper?"

I pouted my lips, trying to recall specific times with Edward where I had. "Rarely, I think."

"And when you're with Jasper, do you think about Edward?"

I blinked several times, surprised at my own answer. "Yeah, all the time."

"If you want me to be honest, tonight is one of the few instances I've seen you so carefree. In your entire relationship with Jasper, you were never this free-spirited. Edward has his faults, but he's good for you."

I nodded. I knew he was. That was beyond the point, though.

"Just keep thinking about it, Bella," she encouraged. "You'll figure it out."

"I hope so," I whispered. It wasn't fair to either of them that I was being indecisive. The time would have to come soon where I would have to make a clear, concise choice. I just hoped it was the right one.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Is it better to take the safe route and spare the potential heartbreak or is it better to take that risk and live with no regrets? The answer may seem easy, but realistically, it's not. **

**Because this is one of two parts, the second part will be up on Saturday. Yes, I'm gonna spoil you guys again. We're coming to the end of this story. Only three chapters left. **

**For those that review, I'm offering a teaser for an EPOV Ch.7 outtake I wrote.**

**The second poll is up on my profile. Vote for your top 3 from chapters 11-20 you'd like to see as an EPOV outtake. The winner will get written by me and I'll post it after this story wraps up. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**

**Rec: **

**Strange Brew by Magnolia822 **

**For those reading quite a bit of angst lately, this is a nice reprieve. It's not fluff, but it's a good build up with an original premise. Edward runs a brewery and hires Bella, who doesn't know much of the subject. There's an obvious age difference and Edward is coming out of a nasty divorce. I enjoyed it, so hopefully you will, too. **


	22. He Vied for Me: Part Two

**A/N:**

**Hope you guys enjoyed the EPOV teaser! Here we go with part two…**

**Beta is Lindz26.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO  
*HE VIED FOR ME*  
-Part Two-**

The next morning, I was heading out of my apartment building to go to my car, when I saw Jasper leaning against his BMW that was parked directly in front of the building. He was quite handsome and regal in his pressed gray suit. When he saw me, he smiled. I was sure I looked dumbfounded.

"Jasper," I greeted, surprised to see him. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I thought I could drive you this morning," he offered, and gestured to his car. "Hop in."

He drove all the way here just to drive me to work? He used to do this sort of thing all the time, but things were different now. Even though a nervous feeling washed over me, and my insides were telling me to just take my own car, I couldn't exactly turn down his offer. We were going to the same place, after all.

He walked around to the passenger side and opened the door for me, helping me in. Part of my skirt was sitting out of the car, and he carefully set it inside, so it wouldn't get jammed in the door.

As soon as he pulled out onto the road, I noticed he wasn't taking the streets I normally took. "You're going the wrong way," I remarked.

"No, I'm not," he said casually. "We're going to get coffee first."

"I don't think we have time for that. Remember the eight-thirty appointment you have? That's in forty minutes."

"It was bumped up to noon, so we can afford to come in a little late today," he said, then cast me a quick, mischievous smile, causing me to laugh, shaking my head. Since when was he okay with going in late for work?

He took me to a chic little café a few blocks from the auction house. We were about to head inside, when Jasper suddenly stopped and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out his wallet, followed by a fifty dollar bill.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Give me a minute," he mumbled distractedly, and walked back where we came from.

I watched him as he crossed the busy street and made his way over to an old, homeless woman, wearing several layers of warm clothes. She was just sitting on the ground, appearing in a daze.

Jasper squatted down to her level and held out the fifty dollar bill. She suddenly realized he was there and what he was trying to give her. She shook her head repeatedly, looking frightened, until he reached for her hand and placed it gently in her palm. He smiled at her and then stood.

As he crossed the street again, I stared at him, feeling so humbled by what he just did.

"Ready to go in?" he asked, opening the door for me.

"Jasper," I said in one breath. I didn't even know what to say.

"What is it?" His expression was that of concern.

"That was…" I started, and paused. "What you just did was…incredible."

He looked back at the old woman, who was looking down at the fifty dollar bill in awe. "She looked like the type that could make good use out of it. It's pretty cold out, so I told her there's a shelter nearby. Hopefully, she'll go."

I smiled reverently at him and walked inside. It were those things about him that had drawn me to him when we first met. He was such a kind person and always went out of his way to share his generosity with those who needed it the most.

Because he'd given all his money on hand to the woman, I offered to pay for the coffee. He wanted to pay, saying all he needed to do was find an ATM, but I said he deserved to have someone else buy him coffee after what he did this morning.

We spent almost thirty solid minutes just relaxing and talking about some old memories we shared. We had a lot of good times together.

"Remember last spring, we stayed at your parents' house for the weekend?" Jasper brought up. I was having a hard time recalling. "Your dad insisted I sleep on the couch, but I snuck into your old room at around midnight."

"Oh," I giggled, finally remembering. "He went downstairs for a glass of water and saw you were gone, so he came up to my room and caught us—" My voice cut off abruptly, and I blushed at the memory.

He smiled sadly, our eyes lingering on each other's for a beat, until I looked away. Edward suddenly popped into my head out of nowhere, causing me to frown. I hastily checked the time on my watch.

"Everything okay?" Jasper questioned.

I gathered my purse. "We should probably go."

"Alright," Jasper agreed without further discussion.

Once we were settled in his car, the next ten minutes were filled with silence. I was somewhat panicking in my head. This morning with Jasper had been so effortless, just as it always was. He was the perfect gentleman, as usual, and never ceased to impress me with his kindness. It made me feel villainous for even considering if this was what it would be like if we were to get back together.

"If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?" Jasper asked spontaneously, taking me out of my spellbound thoughts.

"Um, I don't know," I replied truthfully.

"Money not being an issue," he clarified.

"Well, if that's the case…maybe France."

His eyes remained on the road as he smiled. "France is nice."

My cell phone suddenly rang. I didn't waste a second taking it out of my purse. When I saw Edward's name on the screen, I wanted to sigh in relief.

"Hey, gorgeous," he greeted, once I'd answered. "I tried your work line, but you weren't picking up."

"Yeah, I'm running late into work this morning," I said, and glanced at Jasper, who was no longer smiling. I knew that I had to be open and honest with Edward, just like I'd told him I wanted him to be with me. "I went for coffee with Jasper."

"Oh," he said, sounding downcast. It was still clear he didn't like me with Jasper. Knowing that, all it made me feel was guilt. "Okay, hope you had fun."

That was all he was going to say about it? "Uh, well…"

"Listen," he spoke, his tone assertive. "Come over to my house Friday evening. Bring a bag of your things to stay over for the weekend."

I let out a small laugh. "I'm spending so much time at your house, I don't think I remember what my apartment looks like."

"Well, then, it's a good thing we won't be at my house."

"Huh?" I questioned, bewildered.

He merely chuckled. "See you Friday."

We said goodbye to each other, and I set my phone back in my purse. Looking out the window, I saw we were pulling into the parking structure of the auction house.

"So, how's Edward?" Jasper inquired as he veered the car into his usual space.

I cleared my throat. "Good."

"Good," he parroted, his voice no longer as upbeat as it'd been earlier. He turned the engine off and got out of the car quickly.

We rode the elevator in silence. I thought perhaps he was upset, but when the door opened, he smiled at me. In truth, he was always better than me at putting on an act.

X-X-X-X

Friday evening came around, and I was all packed for the weekend to stay with Edward. Almost as soon as I arrived at his house, he whisked me off in his truck. He wouldn't tell me where we were going, but instead of heading to the highway, he drove the opposite way.

With as much prodding as I did, he was trying his hardest to remain secretive. All I knew was that there was a bunch of items under a large cover on the truck's bed. And he kept me occupied from properly paying attention to the scenery by asking me a million questions about my day. Although, I did figure out that we hadn't veered away from the lake, and the trees were getting thicker. Were we going around the lake, perhaps?

The truck drove deep into the forest along the lake, away from the small Pine Lake Rd. Once we stopped, I followed his lead, climbing out of the truck as I looked out at the water. I understood where we were. In the distance, across the lake, I could just make out Edward's house. We were exactly on the opposite side.

"I planned on bringing you here for your birthday," he admitted, and snaked his arm around my waist as I took in the nature around us.

I smiled. "It's beautiful."

After a few peaceful moments, he walked to the bed of the truck and pulled off the large cover, revealing a cooler, some blankets, pillows, and what looked like pieces of a tent, but perhaps I was mistaken.

"Are we going camping?" I asked with an uncertain chuckle.

"Yes," he answered seriously, causing me to frown. He stopped, briefly abandoning removing item after item. "What is it?"

I shrugged. "I've never been camping," I admitted. I didn't know what to do in the least. "Unless you count staying out in my parents' backyard in sleeping bags with Alice when I was ten."

"Well, there's a first time for everything," he said, and held out his hand to me. "Wanna help me set up the tent, and then we can relax?"

I nodded with a smile and took hold of his hand. If he wanted to take me camping, I'd do it gladly.

I tried to help out as much as I could with the tent, but it was as if he could do it all in his sleep. I was sure he'd done this thousands of times before. And when he confirmed that he and his dad used to camp out here during the summers, I realized he'd taken me somewhere that was special to him, which made it special for me.

It was starting to get dark now, and Edward had just finished making a small fire that he created near the shore of the lake. I sat on a log, watching him so concentrated on the task at hand. He'd given me a job—throwing sticks into the fire. I was such a huge help, wasn't I? I really knew nothing about camping, but was glad he didn't mind and even found amusement in it.

With the fire done, he went to the truck and took something mysterious out of the bed. When he walked back to me, he sat down and set a big plastic bag of marshmallows in my lap.

"Marshmallows," I gasped, and let out a giggle. "You really thought of everything."

He smiled and opened the bag for me. "Kate and her dad used to sometimes come camping with me and my dad, and we'd roast marshmallows." He took one marshmallow out and placed it at the end of a long stick, then handed it to me.

I leaned forward and stuck the end of the stick into the fire, the marshmallow instantly roasting. "When was the last time you came out here?" I asked.

He sighed, making an "mmm" sound. "Ninety-eight," he answered. "I loved doing things with my dad when I was a boy, but as soon as I hit sixteen, I didn't want to do things like this anymore."

I brought the stick back to me and placed my free hand on his knee, rubbing. "All kids go through that phase where they want nothing to do with their parents."

He stared into the fire. "Yeah, but mine lasted up until he passed."

I blew on the marshmallow, took it off the stick, and pressed it to his lips. His mouth opened, welcoming it. I was distracting him. He tended to get sulky when he spoke of his father. I didn't think the guilt would ever leave him. Either way, I was positive he didn't bring me here to be upset.

"You need to roast it more," he said as he chewed.

"Oh, _excuse me_," I laughed. "I wasn't aware you were the marshmallow roasting expert."

He smirked. "I am." With that, he placed another marshmallow on the stick and proceeded to show me up. "You have to rotate it." He blew on the slightly darkened marshmallow and practically shoved the stick in my face.

I rolled my eyes and removed the gooey marshmallow, once it'd cooled. He was right; he knew how to roast.

"And that's how it's done," he gloated.

I snorted. "Alright, cocky."

He chuckled and nudged my shoulder with his. "Cocky, huh?"

I shook my head, amused. "Just make me another one."

He spent another ten minutes showing off, until we were both full and bloated on marshmallows. After he tossed the stick in the fire, I wrapped my arms around his side, snuggling into him. I loved being in such a secluded place with him. It really helped me to think clearer.

"Are you cold?" he asked with a kiss atop my head.

"Not with the fire," I assured. The blazing fire did, in fact, keep me warm, but he heated my body in entirely different ways.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mm-hmm," I hummed, quite comfortable.

"Have you…been thinking about it? I mean, what I asked you to think about?"

I wrapped my arms tighter around him on instinct. I wasn't sure how to answer that. What could I say…yes? That would hurt him. If I said no, I was sure he wouldn't appreciate that, either, since he was so adamant in me "thinking about it."

"So, you have," he concluded.

I sighed and pulled back, unraveling my arms from around him. "Yeah," I confirmed.

He nodded with a weak smile. "That's what I told you to do, so…good."

He was hurting. I could see it written all over his face. What could I do? Why couldn't I have just met him before Jasper? Did I actually want that? I definitely knew that I didn't want to feel this…conflicted.

"I know I told you to think about it," he said, his tone sounding steadier, "but I want you to be with me."

"I want to be with you, too."

"But you're not sure," he assessed.

I opened my mouth to say that I was sure, which would be the obvious reply…but that would be a lie. He suddenly stood and walked around the fire. I watched as he stepped right up to the shore, looking out across the moon reflected water.

Getting up, my feet carried me right behind him. I wrapped my arms around his front, resting my forehead against his muscular back. His warm hand came to cover my hands that were gripping onto his shirt.

"Before you left, I was sure," I admitted. "But then my Edward bubble popped, and it was back to reality."

"I'm sorry," he whispered sadly. "If I could take it back—"

"No," I interrupted, and let go of him. I moved so that I was directly in front of him. "I'm so glad you're back in my life, but I can't say that I feel safe you won't ever leave again."

He brought his hands up to my face, cupping it. "Bella, I'm not going _anywhere_."

"I want to believe you. Really, I do," I said softly.

"But you don't," he finished.

"I've had my heart broken one too many times, now. I don't think I could handle it again."

His eyes dropped to the ground, looking defeated. I wanted, more than anything, to take that leap of faith to be with him and give him myself completely, but I was so afraid. On top of that, my feelings for him had been changing so much lately. I couldn't decipher any of the emotions brewing inside of me.

"Let's not talk about this right now, okay?" I suggested.

"Okay," he spoke gently, and brushed the hair out of my face. He cracked a small smile. "You look gorgeous right now."

My face grew warm at his sweet words. "In the dark?"

His expression was serious. "In the moonlight. You're glowing…"

My entire body sang as I stared at this man. I felt like my heart would erupt from my chest. Had I ever felt like this in my life? It seemed so new and foreign, something I wanted to explore.

We automatically drifted toward each other, our lips speaking for us. The way he was kissing me, it was clear how much passion he was trying to convey. I knew all too well the same passion, but I didn't want to release it all in one shot.

My heart wanted me to give in, but my head wanted me to think this through. For now, I decided to listen to my body instead, because all it wanted was to be wrapped around him in the most sinful way.

"Have you ever done it in the woods?" I heard myself asking against his mouth, causing me to snort in embarrassment. I sure knew how to ruin a romantic moment.

He chuckled and pulled back slightly, arching an eyebrow. "Do you really want to know the answer to that?"

_Oh_, okay. "You're right. I don't."

"Have _you_ done it in the woods?"

I smirked. "Do you really want to know the answer to that?"

"Yes," he said seriously.

Really? I was about to open my mouth to answer, when his mouth crashed down on mine. I guessed he changed his answer to no. I didn't mind, loving the way his mouth expertly moved, sucking on my top lip.

We knew what this would lead to, so we didn't waste any time moving our hands over each other's bodies. He lifted my shirt over my head and dropped it to the ground. My fingers were working on his fly, unzipping his jeans quickly. As he fiddled with the clasp of my bra, his tongue scorched tight circles beneath my ear, causing me to moan my excitement. His thumbs delicately teased my pebbled nipples, igniting goose bumps everywhere.

I slipped my hand into his jeans, rubbing him through his boxer briefs. He was hard in my palm. Stroking him turned his breathing uneven.

"Shit," he cursed, squeezing his eyes shut. "Put your hand inside."

I obliged, slithering my fingers into the hole of his briefs, and gripped him firmly. "Like that?" I asked breathily.

"Yes," he hissed into my hair, and pushed his hips forward anxiously.

I pumped him slowly, torturously. The rhythm of his breaths escalated, letting me know that what I was doing was right. His fingers were practically clawing into my hips.

Suddenly, he grabbed my wrist, causing me to stop all my movement.

"Let's go to the tent," he rasped, and began pulling on me hastily.

"What about the fire?" I asked as we passed it.

"It'll burn out on its own soon."

He unzipped the small tent at the speed of light and gestured me inside. The blankets and pillows were already set up. He grabbed a flashlight, turned it on, and set it on the ground, angling it to face us as we lowered ourselves down.

"It might get a little cold later. I hope these will be enough blankets," he noted, more to himself.

I pushed against his chest, making him lay down, and then straddled his waist. "If they're not enough, I guess I'll just have to use you as my heater."

There was lust in his striking eyes, but also something else…something that didn't scare me. I'd become familiar with how he looked at me now, so different than before we spent all that time apart. I wondered if I looked at him the same way.

He brought his fingers to my stomach, touching me reverently, memorizing me. He moved further up, tracing the undersides of my breasts. My breaths were shallow, anticipating his touches, wanting to see where he'd go next. I thought he'd touch my breasts, but he didn't; instead, he moved his hands to my waist and just left them there as he stared at up me.

"Is that it? You're tired?" I joked.

He smiled, shaking his head. "No, I'm not tired. Just looking."

I let him look, noticing that his eyes weren't even on my body. To be honest, I welcomed the spare moment to assess the thoughts running through my head. What was this I felt? Was it love? I'd known what it was like to be in love before, but this…this was so strong and all consuming. I'd never thought a feeling such as this could exist.

"_Mi alma_…I need to tell you something," he spoke quietly.

I pressed a finger to his lips. "Shh, no…" I couldn't have him saying that…not before I knew for certain how I felt. "Just show me."

He nodded, understanding, and placed his hands at the sides of my head. He brought my mouth to his, gently kissing me. I closed my eyes, savoring him as if it were my last.

Slowly, he rolled me onto my back, his weight pressing on me. He moved down my body, taking my jeans and panties with him. My legs were parted anxiously by his large hands, and his mouth kissed up my inner thigh, igniting slight shivers that warmed me. I wound my fingers into his soft, mussed hair, lightly scraping my nails against his scalp.

I watched him, his face an inch away from my center. One of the things we hadn't done was be intimate in this way. I think perhaps it seemed too sacred and meaningful to go this far at the beginning of our relationship. Things were different now.

He lightly peppered slow kisses on me, his tongue slipping out and circling my clit dangerously slow, making it all the more sensual. I sighed in content, taking in how amazing it felt to have him pleasuring me this way. His fingers found its way to my slit, rubbing the moisture around. When he pushed one digit inside of me, I arched my back.

His tongue worked my clit a little quicker now, flicking over it, tracing around it at the same time as pumping his finger in and out. I was rapidly falling toward the point of no return—that moment where I'd lose all control and inhibition to feel the earth shattering pleasure I knew he could give me.

When he sucked me into his mouth, my orgasm hit me like a freight train. The intense sensations shot right down to my toes, and for a second, my entire body went numb.

I might've blacked out temporarily, because when I opened my eyes next, his shirt, jeans, and briefs had been abandoned, and he was kneeling between my parted legs.

"Come here," I demanded, crooking a lazy finger to him.

He smirked and bent his face down a millimeter from mine. I laced my fingers into his hair and pressed my mouth to his, tasting myself on his lips. He groaned, low and deep in his chest, and settled between my legs.

His body heat against mine set me ablaze. I could feel him pressing against my opening. His deep eyes were reeling me in. Could I ever want him more than I did right now?

With a push, he entered me, filling me to the brim. I exhaled shakily, the feeling of him deep inside becoming too much, yet not enough. He covered my mouth with his as he pulled out all the way and slowly slid back in. My legs automatically wrapped around his hips, needing him closer while his movements took on a steady pace. I clung to him brutally, my fingers scraping down his bare back, slick with a thin sheen of sweat.

"Bella," he whispered, moving his mouth to my ear. "I never want this to end." It was more of a plea than anything.

"It won't," I assured, and I truly meant it. I knew he wasn't referring to sex, but instead, this feeling of utter consumption. The entire world could fall down around us, and it wouldn't matter, as long as we were in each other's arms, like this.

He pushed harder inside of me, reaching a deep spot. "Do you mean it?"

I threw my head back. "_God, yes_."

His thrusts were becoming faster, sending me into a whirlwind of desire, lust, and bliss. I sunk my teeth into his shoulder, getting lost in these sensations he evoked from me.

His movements turned a little more inconsistent, signaling that he was achingly close to the edge. I clenched my walls around him purposely, wanting him to have a little more pleasure. He liked it, groaning into my neck. I did it again, making him pump into me faster with a loud grunt. My hands found his ass, pushing him deeper inside of me.

"Jesus," he choked under his breath.

In a matter of seconds, he completely froze, his breath hot and shallow in my ear. Suddenly, he let out a long, throaty groan as he emptied everything he had inside me.

Soon, we were both quiet, listening to each other's racing hearts, mixed in with the vibrant sounds of the forest. After a small amount of recovery time, he propped himself up on his forearms and kissed me with such gratitude and appreciation.

He pulled out of me, and we both lay on our sides, facing each other. His fingers were skimming along the curve of my waist while he gazed at me.

I tried to rein in my spinning emotions as I stared back. They were telling me with confidence that I was so badly in love with this man…but that could just be the aftermath of an orgasm, right?

Did I really believe that?

"You're still glowing," he remarked, sending chills up my spine.

"I wonder why," I teased, not able to contain the euphoric grin.

His fingers moved to my shoulder, skimming down my bare arm, and finally stopped at my hand. I laced my fingers with his and set our joined hands between our bodies.

It'd been a while since I came down from my orgasm, and I still felt the same way. God…I really was in love with him. And I knew now, without a doubt, that it was him I wanted. I just couldn't imagine being like this with anyone else, ever.

I was done, set, marked.

He was it.

So, what would I do now? I would have to tell him. Would he want to do that first, since I knew he'd been trying to tell me for a little while now? Maybe if I hinted it to him.

"Remember earlier, you said you didn't think I was sure…" I started, garnering his utmost attention. "Well, I'm sure."

His bright eyes sunk. "Bella, don't say that just because—"

"I'm not," I interrupted hastily, and placed my hand on his stubbly cheek in assurance. "I really mean it. I don't want anyone but you. I'm not scared anymore. I trust you."

He looked revived, as if I'd just said something special. "You have no idea how much that means to me," he said. "But I can't promise you that I won't hurt you again. Sometimes I say and do the wrong thing."

"Well, I can't promise you that I won't hurt you again, either, but whatever happens, we'll work it out. We'll face it together, right?"

He kissed me sweetly for a brief moment. "Together."

We stayed wrapped up in each other for a short while, until he sat up and reached for his briefs. He was going somewhere.

"No," I whispered in disapproval, wanting him to stay.

He stood, hunched over in the small tent, and put his briefs on one leg at a time. "I'm just checking on the fire."

I groaned and flipped over to my other side. The zipper of the tent rang out loudly as he undid it and exited. A warm breeze flowed in, heating my back. It felt nice.

He returned less than a minute later and quickly zipped himself back in. His heated body curled around me, and his long arms brought me into his chest. Nothing needed to be said. This moment, right now, spoke for itself. We were silent for what felt like ten minutes, just listening to each other's steady breaths, until he finally spoke.

"I used to think that I'd build a camp here one day."

"A camp?" I questioned, surprised.

"Yeah, you know…a camp for kids. It's a great location—no one's around here for miles."

I'd never thought of him as the type that would venture to do something like that, but now, thinking about it, he seemed exactly like that type of person. He was caring, generous, and attentive. It was perfect for him.

The idea of that really put things in perspective for me. I liked my job, but I didn't love it. I never imagined myself being someone's personal assistant for the rest of my life. Was there something out there that was more suited for me? I was nearly thirty and I had no clue.

"So, what's stopping you?"

He sighed heavily. "My mom's my priority right now. Plus, I don't think I'd do well at it."

I furrowed my brow. He didn't have a lot of faith in himself. "Of course you would."

"No. It's just not in my future," he said casually, as if resigned, and pressed his lips the shell of my ear. "There's one thing that is, though."

He was changing the subject, and I was going to let him, for now. "What is that?"

He brushed his nose along the side of my neck. "You…_mi alma_," he spoke softly, causing my heart to speed up. "I look at you and see my entire future."

"You do?" I asked quietly, completely enthralled by his words.

"Mm-hmm," he hummed, moving his lips to my cheek.

"Like what?"

I could feel him smiling against my face. "Like…living here," he admitted. "Would you like that?"

I nodded. As soon I first saw that house of his, I knew I would be happy to live there forever.

"We could get a boat," he suggested sheepishly

I chuckled. "Well, considering your backyard is a lake, I think we'd need to at some point."

He sat up on his forearm, hovering over me so that I could see his face. "I could put a swing set and jungle gym out the back."

My heart may have skipped a beat. Was he suggesting…? Wow. "I'd like that," I managed to breathe out.

I saw everything he saw with such clarity. There wasn't a shred of doubt in my mind now that Edward was my present and my future. He was everything to me. I needed to tell him. I'd wanted him to tell me how he felt first, but perhaps he was waiting for me.

"Remember that day I was writing on your back," he said suddenly, his voice so calm and steady.

My own voice came out in a shaky whisper. "Yes."

"You knew what I wrote."

"Yes."

"And do you believe it?"

I reached up, tracing my finger around his lips. "Yes."

"Because I love you, Bella. I don't think I can hold that back anymore."

He said it. I was smiling like an idiot. "I love you, too," I replied anxiously. "So much."

We kissed for about fifteen minutes—just lips and our breaths caressing each other, basking in our declaration. After a while, we both realized how tired we were. He turned off the flashlight, instantly shrouding us in darkness, and went back to spooning me.

"My mom is coming to live with me next week," he spoke.

My eyes went wide with shock in the darkness. This was all he'd wanted, and now he was finally getting it. "She is?"

"I talked with my aunt today—my mom's caretaker—and she said that my mom is getting better by the day and will be able to make the trip over here."

"That's great, Edward," I said excitedly.

"Yeah, it is," he said in a dreamy sigh. "My aunt won't be able to come for a while, since she works at a hospital in Chicago, so it looks like it'll just be me and my mom."

"You know that if you need anything, I can be here as soon as I can," I offered.

"Thank you," he whispered, stroking my stomach. "She's doing better, so hopefully there are no more relapses."

I turned in his arms to face him and caressed his face with the back of my fingers. "She'll be fine."

His eyes fluttered closed, and he breathed in deeply. "Every time I talk to her, she always asks about you. She's looking forward to finally meeting you."

"Really?" I asked. I wasn't sure why that made me nervous.

"Will you be here when she arrives?"

"Of course. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Even though I wanted to meet his mother, I was afraid I wouldn't be what she expected. Maybe the idea of me sounded better than the real deal. Maybe she'd dislike me. If she did, then that would surely be the end of me and Edward. He cared so much about her; I doubted he'd waste his time on a girl she didn't approve of.

Oh God…now I really hoped she wouldn't hate me.

* * *

**A/N:**

***smiles***

**For those that have been asking, yes, Edward's mother will finally make an appearance. **

**What do you think should happen with Jasper now that she's decided? Would love to hear your thoughts.**

**See ya on Tuesday!**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	23. He Introduced Me

**A/N: **

**Seriously, thanks to those that have stuck it out this far. I'm very grateful for the trust you've placed in me. I think many of you are going to like this chapter.**

**Beta is Lindz26.

* * *

**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE  
*HE INTRODUCED ME***

I never thought I'd ever be doing this. It was so unlike me, and yet, it was true to who I had now become. Of course, I was scared, but who wouldn't be? To not feel a sense of security, to not know where you're going, it's one of the scariest things in the world. It's also one of the most exhilarating.

Today was Monday, and I was due into work. As soon as I arrived, I took a few deep breaths, telling myself this was the right thing to do.

At my desk, I took out my scheduler, checking what I needed to do today. Not much. I would have to wait for my cues from Jasper.

Jasper…

I wasn't sure how he was going to react. Would he be upset? Would he be content? I was a mixture of forlorn and anxious. Forlorn, because a chapter of my life was closing. Anxious, because a new chapter was on the crystal clear horizon, waiting for me to arrive.

At around eight-fifteen, Jasper finally walked into work and made a dash straight for his office, closing the door behind him. I stood from my desk, straightening out my skirt, and walked out of my office. Just as I was about to knock on his door, it suddenly flew open. Jasper stood there with a warm, happy smile.

"There you are," he said, sounding out of breath. "I was just about to go to you. Let's go into your office." He followed behind me the entire time, one hand on my lower back.

"We need to talk," I said with a sigh, once we were inside.

He seemed preoccupied. "Yes, we do," he replied, and reached into his suit jacket. He pulled out an envelope from his inside pocket and handed it to me.

"What's this?"

"Just open it."

Once I did, I frowned. Two plane tickets. Oh, Jasper. No…

"They're to Paris," he said with the biggest grin on his face I'd ever seen.

I couldn't even form a response. All I could do was push the tickets back into the envelope.

"You told me yesterday that if you could go anywhere in the world right now, it would be France," he explained, and wrapped his hands around my arms delicately. His bright eyes were gazing into mine with such genuine eagerness. "We can take a week off, even two. Rose would take over for the time being. We can go wine tasting and eat at a thousand bistros. Anything, as long as we're together again."

I breathed in deeply, my mind set, and took a step back out of his hold as I watched his face fall. "I can't do that."

"It'll be a paid vacation, Bella."

"No, that's not what I meant."

"You don't want to go with me?" he questioned, wounded

Instead of answering, I grabbed a piece of paper off my desk. When I handed it to him, his eyes scanned over every word. I could see the realization sink in as the seconds passed. It broke my heart to do this to him, but it was for the best.

"You're…resigning?" he questioned in a breath, not taking his sight off the paper.

"Yes," I answered.

It took a lot of thinking on my part. Many times, I wanted to discuss it with Rose or Edward, but I felt that this needed to be a decision entirely from me with no outside influences. It was something I had to do for myself.

He finally looked up at me, distressed. "No…Bella…I need you here."

I shook my head. "I'm sure you can hire someone just as capable."

He set the paper down on the desk and brought his hands up to my face, cupping my cheeks. "You don't understand. I need _you_. I love you. I can't let you go."

I took hold of his hands, bringing them down in front of us. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, as if in denial. "That night we broke up, I said you weren't the one. I was an idiot. I know it's taken me a while to figure it out, and for that, I hate myself, but I'd do anything to go back and undo what I said." He held on tighter to my hands, practically cutting off my circulation. I didn't even think he realized it. "I know you're with Edward now, and I haven't exactly respected that, but I had to fight for you, because we're…" he sighed, his expression one of man climbing a never-ending steep mountain "…we're just so good together. I want us to work out. Tell me that there's a future for us."

Even after his heartfelt speech, I didn't feel I needed to reply. My eyes conveyed it all. His expression turned crestfallen.

I untangled my hands from his hold and dropped them to my sides. "I loved you so much, Jasper," I started, speaking with my whole heart. "I saw you as my future husband, the father of my children, the man I was going to grow old with. But when you broke up with me…slowly, those images that were so crystal clear before, faded into nothing. And after a while, I couldn't even imagine you in my future."

I watched his blue depths completely crumble before me. I was hurting him.

"I'll always treasure the great times we've spent together," I continued. "You've taught me so much about myself without realizing it, and you'll always be an important part of my life. But I'm just not in love with you anymore."

He nodded, his shoulders sagging. "I lost my chance," he whispered so quietly. "If I hadn't ruined everything, would we have ended up together?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. Perhaps my life would've been different if things had gone that route, but they hadn't, and I wasn't upset about that. I was happy with how things ended up. _Truly_ happy.

I grabbed my purse off my desk. From inside, I took out a small velvet box, containing two diamond earrings—the ones he'd gotten me. I held them out to him along with the envelope.

He put up his hand, pushing them gently back to me. "No, I got those for you as a gift. Please, keep them," he said earnestly, and stared at me for a few moments, his eyes darting around my face. His hand came up, and the back of his fingers brushed against my cheek. Without a word, he turned and walked out of my office.

I exhaled slowly, my caged heart now free.

X-X-X-X

Pearl earrings in place.

Top not showing too much cleavage.

Thundering heart beating loud in my ear.

Edward's rough hand not able to comfort my sweaty one.

I was so nervous. I'd looked out the window about twenty times, and each time put me more on edge.

Edward was currently at the airport, picking up his mother. He wanted me to be here to meet her, so I was sitting in his living room, driving myself crazy. What would I call her? Mrs. Masen? Elizabeth? Eliza? No, definitely not Eliza. If Edward knew how much I was fretting, he'd probably laugh at me.

"Jesus Christ, calm the fuck down, Bella."

Oh, and Emmett was here.

"I'm calm," I lied.

"You keep shifting positions every damn minute. One leg under your ass, then sitting in a pretzel, then legs crossed, and now back to sitting in a pretzel. I'm going to staple your legs straight."

I glared at him and looked out the window again. Nothing. He'd been gone for two hours now.

"So, Edward told me you finally escaped the prison," he said, and snorted.

I rolled my eyes at him.

Emmett was just as cocky about it as Edward had been when I told him I quit my job. Even though it was clear that Edward was thrilled I would soon no longer be seeing Jasper day-to-day, he was also blatantly happy that I was "roughing it," as he so eloquently put it. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life, and for now, I'd have to dip into my savings, but it was actually kind of nice not knowing where I was going.

"I handed in my two weeks' notice a couple days ago," I replied.

It was hard going into work now, knowing that I would be leaving shortly. Jasper was always holed up in his office, barely coming out for anything, and I had the daunting task of hiring my replacement. I'd check with him every now and then to tell him how interviews went. He would acknowledge what I said in a business-like manner—and that was it. No personal phone calls at night, no lunch outings, no nothing.

I felt bad, knowing he was still upset, but all I could do was give him space. So many times I wanted to tell him that I would always be his friend, but I didn't think he'd want to hear that. I wouldn't either after having my heart broken. I knew all too well how that felt.

"You can come work for me," Emmett offered with a smirk. "We need someone hot to wear booty shorts and hand wash the cars. You in?"

I laughed. "Thanks, but I think I'll pass."

"Suit yourself."

I could hear tires crunching on the gravel, causing my eyes to go wide. I stood quickly and looked out the window to see Edward's truck rolling in. In a few moments, I would be meeting my boyfriend's mother. I was going to be sick.

"You have nothing to worry about," Emmett assured, and opened the front door.

I followed him outside just as Edward opened his door and stepped out. His happy eyes immediately found mine, a boyish grin on his face.

He walked around the truck and opened the passenger's door. A brunette woman stepped out, a few streaks of light gray in her short hair. She was half Edward's height and had the most striking face I'd seen. Her dark eyes had Edward's almond shape, and her hair was his exact shade. She had wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, showing her age, but in her youth, I was certain she was a flawless beauty.

"Mama Masen!" Emmett hollered, and lifted her off the ground in a big hug.

"Oh!" she squeaked in surprise, her bright voice ringing.

"Emmett, put her down right now," Edward scolded angrily.

She and Emmett both laughed, and he set her feet to the ground gently.

"Child, what on earth are you eating these days?" she asked humorously.

"Giant grizzly bears, ma'am," Emmett answered with a smirk.

"Oh, you," she laughed, and swatted his chest.

I was still standing on the porch, observing them. She turned her head to me, a warm smile on her face, causing me to do the same. I couldn't see her properly before, but now I could. She was far too skinny, looking somewhat frail. The cancer must've really worked her over. Though, somehow, she managed to exude such healthy magnetism.

Edward motioned me over. I stepped off the porch and walked over to him. He held out his hand, letting me grab onto it firmly. "This is my mother, Elizabeth. Mom, this is my girlfriend—"

"Bella," she finished with smile, and grabbed hold of my free hand. Hers was so lightweight and small. "He was right, you are very pretty. It's so nice to finally meet you." Her deep eyes were on my ears, no doubt assessing the pearl earrings that used to belong to her.

I smiled shyly. "It's nice to finally meet you, too, Mrs. Masen. Edward has told me so much about you."

"Mrs. Masen?" she asked, laughing. "Please, call me Elizabeth. Lizzie, even."

"I'll get the bags," Emmett offered, walking around to the bed of the truck.

She turned her head, her eyes roaming over the house. There was a reverent smile on her face. "Oh," she sighed whimsically. "The house. It looks just as I remember. Such good memories. I'm so happy to be here."

Edward held his arm out toward his mother, who linked her arm with his. My hand was suddenly squeezed gently by his. "I tried to keep everything the same—just make it look more alive than it did before," he remarked.

"You did beautifully,_ mijo_," she praised. "I just wish you hadn't gone through so much trouble."

"Wasn't any trouble, Mom," Edward assured. "Took less than a day. Right, Emmett?"

Emmett was lugging a large seventies-styled suitcase toward us. "Yep. Ten minutes tops," he said with a laugh.

I shook my head, amused. It'd taken Edward months and months to get this house in the current shape it was in.

"You two are the silliest," she said, and winked at me before walking toward the front porch.

Edward stayed by his mother's side the entire time as he showed her to her room as well as gave her a tour of all the additions to the house. I remained in the living room with Emmett, allowing them to have their moment.

They went out the back and he showed her the porch swing. He took her to the gazebo, which she raved over, vowing to sit in it every day. They stood on the dock for ten minutes, watching the water. They both had a sad look on their face, so I imagined they were discussing Edward's father.

Elizabeth patted Edward's back, and they moved on to the extra room around the side of the house he'd furnished and decorated for her. Even from inside, I could hear her words of surprise and jubilation over the work Edward put into customizing the room for her.

When they came back inside, both were laughing about something. I'd never seen Edward so lively before. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

The four of us had lunch and listened as Elizabeth told story after story of the fun times they had in the summers here, including one time when a six year old Edward didn't want a bath, so he ran out the back of the house, nude, while his mother and father tried to catch him. Emmett and I laughed so hard, while Edward simpered.

It began to get late, and Emmett had just left. Elizabeth told us she was exhausted from the flight, so she was going to go to bed. Before she retired, she asked me if I was going to be here tomorrow, and I said yes.

Edward led us to the couch, and he sat down, guiding me to sit on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him chastely on the mouth.

"Thank you for being here," he said, his hand softly caressing the top of my thigh.

I swept my knuckles down his cheek affectionately. "Thank you for wanting me here."

"Did she look okay to you? I mean, did she look pale?" he asked, becoming lost in his thoughts.

"She seemed great—very healthy."

"She's putting on a front. She won't admit it when she doesn't feel well."

"I really think she's fine, Edward," I reassured.

He sighed, looking somewhere behind me. "I hope," he said, and smiled up at me. "She likes you a lot."

I smiled back. "I like her, too."

"Come over after work?" he asked hopefully.

I pecked his cheek. "Of course."

X-X-X-X

The next day, after a long day at work, I drove up to Edward's house. Edward answered the door, looking stressed, but he smiled when he saw me. We embraced and kissed for a few minutes on the porch, making up for being apart for twenty-six hours, before going inside. Elizabeth was in the kitchen, stirring something in a large pot, a sour look on her face. She also changed her demeanor as soon as she saw me.

"Oh, _cariño. _These are exquisite," she gushed, taking the bouquet of lilacs from me that I bought for her. "You shouldn't have."

"Edward told me they were your favorite," I said, and handed her a few packets of seeds. "He also told me you like to garden. I wasn't sure what seeds to get you, so I picked out a variety."

She gave Edward some sort of knowing look before spinning on her heel and heading into the kitchen. "I love gardening. I'll plant anything and everything," she assured, occupying herself by preparing the lilacs to be put into a vase. "I think I'll plant these seeds today."

Edward cleared his throat softly. "No, Mom. We discussed this," he said, sounding cautious.

Her gaunt face remained down as she arranged the bouquet of lilacs. "And how long, exactly, will I be cooped up in here?" she questioned, her tone soft, but her face showing otherwise. I looked between them both, sensing they were having some sort of issue.

"Mother," he sighed, sounding tired.

She smiled weakly at him and picked up the vase. She set it on one of the side tables next to the sofa. "No matter. I'll just take a shower, then," she said, and walked to the hallway.

"Lightning can go through the pipes," he noted.

"I'll go read in bed, then," she threw over her shoulder, disappearing into the hallway.

"Do you need extra blankets?"

Elizabeth's response was the sound of her bedroom door shutting.

Edward sighed, his shoulders slumping.

"What's going on?" I inquired, worried.

"She wanted to go outside today. I told her it's going to rain. She's upset and thinks I'm keeping her in here on purpose."

On my way over, there were barely any clouds in the sky. "It didn't look like it's going to rain."

"There's a sixty-six percent chance of precipitation," he spoke. His words sounded rehearsed, almost.

I raised an eyebrow. "If she's out there and it starts to rain, then she can just come back inside, can't she?"

He shook his head and walked away, into the kitchen. "I'd rather not take the risk." He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the counter, looking in the direction of the hallway. "She told me she kept the window open last night. It was freezing out. I hope she hasn't opened it again. The temperature drops quickly around this time."

All I could do was shrug in response, because I doubted he'd notice right now if I spoke.

"I think I'll go check to see if she closed it," he said, and managed to take a few steps, until his cell phone went off. He groaned and grabbed it from his back pocket. He answered, appearing annoyed because of the diversion. "Hey, Aunt Esme…Yes, everything is fine. She's all settled in." He scratched the back of his neck. "No, I'm not…"

I went into the kitchen and looked into the pot on the stove. His mom was making a stew, it seemed. It smelled delicious. I took the wooden spoon off the counter, stirred a few times, set it back down, and regarded Edward again.

"I told you, I'm not," he said, sounding aggravated. His eyes suddenly shifted to me, his eyebrow quirked. "Yes, she's here, why…?" He paused for a few seconds, his stare never wavering from me. "I don't understand. Why do you want to talk to her? What are you going to—?" He stopped talking abruptly, his eyes going wide, and quickly passed me the phone. Hesitantly, I raised it up to my ear.

"…so help me God, Edward! Put her on the phone!" a woman yelled on the other line.

I cleared my throat. "Hello…?" I questioned warily.

"Oh, hello. This is Esme, Edward's aunt," the woman greeted sweetly. "I'm speaking with Bella, right?"

I furrowed my brow at Edward, who was watching me intently. "Yes, this is she."

"Good," she spoke, her tone suddenly terse. "First of all, I just want to say that you better treat Edward well. He's a sweet boy, and he does nothing but rave about you."

I nodded, swallowing thickly. "Okay," I agreed, a little more than scared of this woman. This was Elizabeth's sister? Esme's personality was almost the opposite of Elizabeth's.

Edward suddenly turned and vanished into the hallway.

"Excellent. Second of all," she continued, "he needs to give Lizzie space. She's doing a lot better—mind you, not entirely—but won't do well with him crowding around her every second of the day. She needs to go outside, in the sun, and move around as much as she can. I understand he wants to protect her, but she'll get worse if he tries to keep her boxed in. She's used to being independent under my care, and I'd like for her to continue to be."

I peeked into the hallway, seeing Edward standing at his mother's bedroom door, being berated in a whisper by her. "What do you want me to do?" I questioned.

"Just encourage him to treat her like a normal person. He knows that if she takes a turn for the worse, my husband will put me on the first flight over there."

I promised her I'd try to help him, and then we said goodbye. Walking into the hallway, Elizabeth was still scolding Edward.

"_Mijo_, the window is fine how it is," she whispered-yelled.

"Please, you need to close it. The temperature is dropping to forty-eight degrees tonight," he instructed pleadingly.

"Edward," I interrupted, and they both regarded me. I smiled, trying to disarm them. "I was just wondering if you'd like to take a walk with me."

"Oh," he said, looking conflicted as his eyes bounced between his mother and me. "I'd love to, but—"

"Yes, go," Elizabeth urged. "Take your sweetheart and go for a walk."

"Mom, the window…"

"Yes, yes. I'll take care of the window," she said, and quickly retreated into her bedroom, shutting the door.

He let out a heavy sigh, so I grabbed his hand and led us to the back door. We stepped outside, and there were more clouds than before, but not enough to for there to be rain. I didn't comment about it, though.

We were quiet as we walked hand-in-hand across the grass and around the perimeter of the lake. I gave his hand a little squeeze, and he glanced at me with a small smile.

"Happy your mom's here?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered, and was quiet for a beat. "I hope my aunt didn't scare you. What did she say?"

"Just that I needed to treat you well," I replied, and bumped my shoulder with his playfully.

He chuckled. "Did she really?"

"Your family really cares about you," I spoke earnestly, and stopped walking. He turned to me curiously. "How's everything with you and your mother?"

He shrugged. "She's being stubborn."

"Like mother like son?" I questioned.

He snorted. "Are you saying I'm stubborn?"

"Just a bit." _A lot_. "Why did you move her out here?"

He appeared confused at my question. "I wanted her to be somewhere she enjoys."

"And that's inside her bedroom?" I queried, and he just stared at me. "What did she do today?"

A crease formed on his forehead. "Watched _Ellen DeGeneres_, a _Gilligan's Island_ repeat, cooked in the kitchen, took a nap, and read a bit. Why?"

"She didn't go outside once?"

"The Weather Channel has been saying it's going to rain."

"And has it?" I asked rhetorically. He knew the answer.

"I'm just trying to help her," he said with a frown.

"Helping her and protecting her are two different things, Edward. Why did you set up all these amenities for her when she can't even enjoy them?"

"You act as if I'm keeping her caged."

"I'm not meaning to imply that. I just don't think she came here to have you trail after her and treat her as if she's sick."

"She_ is_ sick."

I sighed. "Reminding her all the time that she's sick will only bring her down."

He shook his head and picked up walking. I followed, of course. "I need to make sure she's okay," he said.

"She won't be okay if she's stuck inside all the time."

He suddenly stopped, his eyes swirling with pain. "Bella, you don't know what it's like to lose someone, to fear every single day it'll be the last time you see them," he said, impassioned. "I do. And I'm doing everything in my power to make sure my fear doesn't come true."

I stepped right up to him and placed my hands on his chest that was rising and falling rapidly. His breathing slowed significantly. "Just because I haven't experienced loss in the form of death, doesn't mean I haven't experienced it," I voiced. "I lost my friendship with my cousin, who meant a lot to me at one time. I lost you, if you remember." He looked down and nodded. "Isn't it better to live life to its fullest, rather than playing it safe? If it was better the other way, I never would've handed in my resignation at work. And I definitely would never have decided to be with you."

He brushed his finger down the bridge of my nose, dragging it to my lips. I puckered my mouth, kissing his fingertip. "Alright. I'll ease up a bit," he agreed.

I smiled against the tip of his finger. He leaned down and replaced his finger with his mouth for a long moment before we journeyed back to the house.

After that, Edward tried his hardest not to keep track of his mom. She finally emerged from her room and continued cooking the beef stew until it was finished. The three of us ate on the back porch as we watched the sunset. Both of them seemed much more relaxed than earlier.

Edward gathered our dishes and went inside to wash them, leaving his mother and me alone on the porch swing.

"Have you seen my gazebo?" she questioned proudly.

"Yes, I have."

"Edward is such a fine craftsmen. He takes after his father in that way."

I smiled. "I'm sure he'd be happy to hear that."

She cast me a sideways glance and then stood. "Walk me over there, _querida, _will you?"

We walked side by side until we reached the perfectly structured, white gazebo. She stepped inside, gazing out across the lake.

"Beautiful evening," she remarked.

I stepped into the gazebo, joining her. "It is. Though, the evenings are always beautiful up here."

She chuckled, turning to me. "That's very true," she said, and her eyes turned assessing. "Are you in love with my son?"

My face became warm from her sudden onslaught. I knew I just needed to be honest. "Yes, I am."

She nodded. "I can tell, and I hardly know you. You wear your heart on your sleeve."

"I do," I spoke truthfully.

"So does he, you know. He's changed so much from when he was a young boy, but that's one of the things that has never changed about him." She turned back to the view. "He's spent far too long now worrying about me that he forgets he needs to live. He's brought home a few girls, some of which I liked, some I didn't, but all of them have one thing in common."

"What's that?" I questioned.

"They aren't you," she answered. "You're different. The way he acts around you is different. It reminds me a lot of when I first met my husband." She let out a small laugh, her eyes roaming across the golden sky. "We were crazy about each other. He spent a lot of time trying to win me over, because I was convinced he wasn't the right guy for me. I come from a wealthy family, and my husband was far from it. But he convinced me, and I've never been happier."

That reminded me of how happy I was with Edward, now that I'd fully committed to him. I didn't care about the amount of money he had. I just cared about his good heart and the fact that he made me feel special. "I think Edward has always wished he could have the type of relationship you and his father had," I said.

She smiled. "Of course he'd wish that. To him, we had the perfect marriage. Oh, but we had our screaming matches. A relationship is hard work, and a marriage is even more difficult…but I think he's ready." She turned to me. "I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"The Lord has been kind to me lately, but I know I don't have much longer. Promise me you'll push him to do something meaningful with his life. He holds a lot of guilt over not taking over his father's company. That's partly my fault—I'm sure he's told you," she said. "I don't want him turning into a man filled with regret. He deserves more than that."

I nodded. "He does," I replied. "He told me recently about the possibility of building a camp across the lake. He's not confident about it, though."

She grinned. "That was an idea his father had. He talked about building a camp for children right up until he passed. I'm not surprised Edward would want to do that. He would enjoy it."

The wheels in my head were spinning. I knew of only one way he might consider taking it on. "I think I can motivate him," I assured.

"I know you can, _cariño. _He's lucky to have found you."

We stayed on the gazebo as it became dark, content in each other's company. Her words played over and over in my head. Edward was everything I wanted and needed. In all truthfulness, I was lucky to have found him.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I hope you enjoyed Mama Masen's arrival. My mother always told me that a man who treats his mother well, will treat you well. I firmly believe that. Mr. Imperfect is a mama's boy. **

**What did we think of Bella quitting her job? I remember many of you begging for that since the first couple chapters. I know you would've liked her to **_**really**_** stick it to him, but that's just not the character I created. I hope you can appreciate how she ended things, as maturely as possible. **

**If you review, I'll give you a sneak peak of the EPOV ch.18 outtake you voted me to write. This outtake will be sent to the FGB Autism Awareness. **

**Spanish Translations:**

_**Mijo = my son. The condensed version of "mi hijo."  
Querida = dear.  
Cariño = a term of fondness—darling, honey, sweetie.**_

**Since we're almost done, I'm going to say personal thank yous in this chapter: **

***_Lindz26_* – Thanks for all your super help. I learned a lot from you through this story. Looking forward to working with you again.  
*_RoseArcadia_* – Spank you for the fabulous blinkie and support so early on. You are a treasure to this fandom.  
*_ShabbyApple_* – Thank you for not only starting the MPMI forum, but all your support with pre-reading and being a good friend. You're super awesome, Cheech!  
*_Charmie77_*– You really deserve a special thank you for all the times you pre-read, calmed me down from ranting, and helped me out specifically during a period where I didn't know who to turn to—you know what I'm talking about. Thank you!  
*_MPMI forum ladies_* –Your theories and discussions were insightful, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being so invested in this story. Believe it or not, you all helped me be a better writer for it. Babbles, Sunfeathers, Charmie, Halcyon, monique, Julz04, and all the other ladies who participate, you are awesome.  
*_Flouncy McFlouncersons_*** – **Thank you for making assumptions about this story and teaching me a lesson. It taught me that I can't please everyone and that not all readers hate my story when one person quits. One less HEA for you!  
*_Readers_* – I really do appreciate everyone who stuck by this story and endured the emotional ride of character flaws. It's been an honor getting to know new people through this fic, and I hope you all will join me onto my future work.  
*_Mr. Imperfect_* – Thank you for being the sweetest, kindest, generous, and most realistic Edward I've had the pleasure to work with. You've captured the heart of many and will always be my favorite. **

**I apologize if I forgot someone. Just know that I'm truly thankful for everyone that has helped me make this what it is.**


	24. He was Perfect for Me

**A/N: **

**I forgot to mention in my last chapter, thank you to those that have rec'd this story—authors, blogs, readers, etc. Of course, MPMI wouldn't have gotten as much leverage if it weren't for you all spreading the word.**

**MPMI was nominated for a Shimmer Award in the category of "Adonis Award (Best Use of Edward)". If you feel so inclined, and you love Mr. Imperfect, then please vote for him—the link is on my profile. I'm honored to even be nominated, especially when it's up against some of my favorite Edwards in the same category.**

**Also, Twi-Muses interviewed me recently. If you'd like to read it, the link can be found on my profile.**

**Beta is Lindz26.**

**This is what I like to call bittersweet.**

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR  
*HE WAS PERFECT FOR ME***

The rest of May was warm, with sporadic rain showers nearly every week. I loved the rain. I loved the sounds, the feel of it against my skin, the way it made everything smell so fresh when it was all over. I loved being kissed and caressed as the drizzle touched the earth.

Since my talk with Elizabeth, I'd set out to convince Edward that he should start a camp. It wasn't easy. He was a bit more accepting to the idea when I said I'd like to be his partner, but what it boiled down to was money—which neither of us had much of. We talked about loans, investments, and many other scenarios, but he had an excuse for it all.

My last day at work brought on a newfound confidence in me. I realized I was ready to leave, and there were no doubts about it. The office threw me a small party in the break room, and everyone thanked me for always being a friendly face, one they could count on. I hugged everyone.

Almost everyone.

Jasper had been there, but he was quiet the entire time. I saw him slip out the door at one point, but I didn't follow him. As I was about to leave, I walked by his office. He was in there with only his small desk lamp on. He noticed me passing, gave me a small, sad smile, and waved. When I waved back, I knew in my heart of hearts that it was our own way of saying goodbye.

That was the last time I saw him.

June became increasingly hot with the summer. I wore shorts and tank tops a lot, much to Edward's enjoyment. Money was becoming increasingly short, and I was beginning to feel stressed. So stressed to the point where I even went on some job interviews. I was offered a position as personal assistant by two respectable companies, both of which I impulsively turned down on the spot for no reason other than I knew I couldn't bear to be someone's personal assistant again.

Edward broached the subject of moving in with him to alleviate my financial stress, and I thought hard about it, but I turned him down. When we moved in together, I wanted it to be because we were ready to take the next step in our relationship, not as a solution to a problem. It resulted in a large fight. He thought I had too much pride, and I felt he was pitying me. We were both wrong, and we were both right. We made up all night and into the early morning.

Coincidentally, Edward did have someone move into his house. His aunt, who looked near identical to Elizabeth. She took a leave of absence from her nursing profession to spend time with her sister for the summer. Upon meeting her, she was very blunt and direct, but upon closer acquaintance, she became sweet, patient, and showed me a thing or two about playing poker. Edward was not a very gracious loser.

July brought about many hours swimming in the lake and lounging out on the dock. Rose and Emmett drove up to Pine Lake a lot, and we had tons of barbecues and long talks. It was in that month that Rose told me Jasper had quit the auction house and gave full power to Rose. Shock and bewilderment washed over me. Apparently, he disappeared altogether after that, and all she knew was he left the country without a word to his parents. I didn't have much to say about it. Jasper wasn't a part of my life anymore, but I did hope he was taking care of himself wherever he was.

Around the middle of the month, crisis hit. Elizabeth's health took a nosedive. She was in and out of the hospital constantly and monitored by Esme around the clock. Her bed was used more than ever, she was rapidly losing weight, and her breathing became more of a challenge. Her doctor confirmed her time was wearing thin.

For the next couple of weeks after that, Edward was a wreck. I spent many nights with him in bed, just comforting and distracting him from thinking the worst. We'd never bonded more emotionally than we had those nights. Our love had really been put to the test, and he realized, that at the worst of times, the only place I'd be was at his side.

It was on one of those nights that he asked me to move in, not as a solution to a problem, but because we loved each other, and it would bring us closer, strengthen our bond. I agreed wholeheartedly, and we decided to wait until my lease was over at the end of August.

At the beginning of August, Elizabeth's health improved slightly. She was able to leave her bed and venture outside for brief times. Those were her happiest moments, when the sun would kiss her pale skin. What she couldn't communicate with words, due to her frail state, she did with a smile. I admired her greatly for always being positive during such a rough time.

It was now the second week of August, and I was lying in my bed at my very unused apartment, with a growing amount of cardboard boxes everywhere. Edward was fairly happy with his mother's gradual recovery, so I was finally spending a night in my own bed. It didn't feel right, though, since I'd gotten so used to sleeping next to him. It was the reason I was having so much trouble falling asleep.

Finally, I grew drowsy and tumbled into peaceful dreams. I didn't reawaken until three in the morning, needing to make a dire bathroom run.

I emerged from my bathroom, stretching and wanting to climb back into my comfortable bed. After I was settled under the duvet, I looked at the time on the nightstand. I wondered if Edward was having trouble sleeping, as well.

Grabbing my phone, I checked to see if perhaps he'd left a text message.

Dead.

Apparently, I was forgetful in charging my battery. With a huff, I got out of bed and located my charger. Once I was able to turn on my phone, I saw that I had indeed received a text message from him.

_**I need you. – Edward**_

He needed me? Did he miss me as much as I missed him? Now that I would be moving into his house, it seemed like we both never wanted me to come back here.

After dialing his number, I waited for him to pick up. It rang and rang, eventually going to voicemail. Instead of leaving a message, I decided I'd try back in a bit.

Ten minutes later, I redialed his number. His cell phone was clearly abandoned for the night…which was rare. I didn't want to jump to any conclusions, but in my alert state, it was easy. What if he was upset with me and didn't want to talk to me ever again?

Okay, that was a bit melodramatic. I was going to go back to sleep and try him in the morning.

The next time I awoke, it was to the sound of my phone ringing at three-forty in the morning. It wasn't Edward. Instead, it was someone I least expected.

"Emmett?" I answered in a sleepy croak.

"Why has your phone been off?" he asked, sounding paranoid.

"My battery was dead. It's been on for the last forty minutes, though."

"You need to get over to Edward's house as soon as you can," he ordered hastily. "Don't ask questions; just do it." He hung up in the blink of an eye, leaving my head reeling.

Why did I need to go to Edward's house? Had something happened? Oh God…was he hurt? Please tell me he was okay!

It took me record time to gather my purse and keys. I didn't even care what I looked like, deciding to remain dressed in my cotton blue shorts and Edward's college sweatshirt. The drive over to Pine Lake was smooth, given how early it was with minimal cars on the highway. I wove in and out of lanes, racing there at over eighty miles per hour.

A sense of dread filled me as I pulled into the driveway. There were so many cars here. Emmett's car, Edward's truck, a random car I'd never seen before, and now mine. Why were all these people here?

My headlights shone over Emmett and Rose, huddled together on the porch and squinting in my direction. They were dressed in pajamas, looking like they'd just rolled out of bed. I unclicked my seatbelt and stepped out of my car, barely remembering to shut the door properly.

"What's going on?" I asked nervously, approaching them.

"Edward called me at around midnight, saying he couldn't get in touch with you," Emmett explained, a sad expression on his face. "I told him I'd take care of it."

"Why are you both here?" I questioned, looking at Rose.

"We were in bed when he called," Rose answered. "He sounded a mess, so we came over."

Instead of spending time talking, I tried to move past them and into the house, but Emmett grabbed my arm.

"Just wait a minute," he urged. "I'm not sure if he wants us in there."

I furrowed my brow. "I'm his girlfriend. Of course he'd want me in there. Why can't I go in?"

Rose gave me a sullen look. "It's his mom, Bella."

The screen and main door suddenly flew open, revealing a haggard looking Edward. One look at him, and I saw how tortured he was. He was in serious emotional pain.

His eyes were on me one second, and the next, he had me cocooned in a bone-crushing hug.

"Your phone…I called…was off…," he whispered nonsensically into my hair.

My arms were wrapped around his back, clumps of his shirt fisted in my hands. "What's happening?"

He pulled back only slightly, breathing heavily. "She's in bed right now. She can barely breathe. My aunt's in there with a doctor." He released me, opting to bring his hands up to grasp his hair in agony. "I don't know what to do. They keep sending me away."

"She'll be okay," I assured. I didn't know if that was true, but it was the only thing I could say to get him to calm down.

"Yeah, man. It'll be fine. You'll see," Emmett encouraged.

"It won't be fine, Emmett. She can't fucking breathe," Edward snapped.

"I'm just trying to help," Emmett spoke.

"Well, don't," Edward barked, and ran a hand over his face. He shook his head, exhaling. "I'm sorry…I…" He abruptly walked off the porch and made his way around the side of the house as if he were a zombie.

"Should we leave?" Rose asked in a wary whisper.

"No," Emmett and I said in unison.

"He just needs to cool off for a bit," I explained, fully understanding the stress he was under.

I waited patiently for three minutes with Emmett and Rose before I went in search of him. He was standing at the end of the dock, looking out at the moon-reflected lake, his arms folded in front of him. I couldn't see his face, but it was easy to assume that there was a war waging in his head.

I stood behind his still body, keeping a short distance as I assessed him carefully. He hadn't turned at the sound of my footsteps, which indicated to me how I should approach him.

"When we're old and gray," I started softly, "and our children's children are swimming in this lake, we'll look back at these moments that define us and the people that have impacted them. It won't matter what we did or what we said. All that'll matter is where we ended up." I stepped right up to him and wrapped my arms around his front, encasing him in my warmth. "Don't spend your life regretting, Edward. Spend it living. That's what your mother wants. I know it's what you want, too. Treasure every moment."

The sound of Esme's voice calling out to Edward filled the quiet night. He turned slowly. "Your mother wants to speak with you," she informed, standing on the back porch.

His fingers were suddenly under my chin, raising it up. Soft lips covered mine so delicately. I allowed him to convey what he needed to without words. His mouth was gone just as quickly, and his hand clasped with mine. We walked to the house in silence.

"I can only give you five minutes," Esme said hastily, and disappeared inside.

I walked in with him, but didn't follow when he entered her room, leaving the door ajar. Esme and the man, who I assumed was Elizabeth's regular doctor, were standing in the living room, speaking quietly to each other.

"_Mijo_," I heard Elizabeth rasp, followed by a gasp of air. She was struggling to breathe, putting all her effort into speaking.

"Mom, I'm here," Edward spoke gently, reverently.

I didn't want to intrude on such a private moment, but I couldn't seem to move away. So, I remained leaning against the wall of the hallway.

"_Mi osito_…you're a grown man now."

He chuckled, followed by a sniffle. "I am."

"You're…" She paused, inhaling deeply. "You're so handsome…like your father."

"Mom, please, I need you to try to hold on for me."

"The Lord—"

"_No_," Edward spoke, impassioned as he cut her off. "I'm not ready to see you go."

She coughed briefly, before there was silence for a few moments. "I've lived a full life. Having you was my greatest accomplishment."

"No…please…" he choked. I closed my eyes, tears slipping down my cheeks. It was hard knowing I could comfort him, but wasn't able to.

"Shhh, _siéntete feliz__ por__ mí. _Your father will be there," she said, catching her breath. "She's wonderful."

Another sniffle. "She is," he spoke automatically.

"Does she make you happy?"

"She does…very much. I…If she'll let me…I'd like to marry her someday."

My lips parted, my eyes still closed. I knew he was talking about me. It was everything I'd ever wanted to hear. The happiness and sadness swirled within me, intermingling together.

"She'd be a fool not to accept," Elizabeth stated, her voice coarse. "You take care of your sweetheart. You be kind and generous to her. Always…" She coughed a few times, before she continued. "Always listen to what she has to say and take nothing for granted."

"I'll treasure every moment with her," he said, and I managed to smile.

"The money…" she whispered, "from your father's antiques…use it.

"No, I can't…"

I could hear her loud breaths echo. "Yes, _mijo_. Please, use it."

Edward sighed after a long moment. "Okay. For you."

"For yourself," she corrected.

My attention was diverted to Esme, who had opened the front door to talk with Emmett. I walked over to them just as Esme filled him in on what was happening. I kept my eye on Elizabeth's bedroom door for signs of Edward coming out.

"Is he doing better?" Emmett asked me.

"I'm not sure," I answered honestly.

"He'll be okay," Esme assured. "He has people who love him."

Edward finally emerged from the bedroom, garnering all our attention. As soon as I saw that his cheeks were wet and his eyes were slightly rimmed with red, I knew what he was going to say next.

"She's gone," he spoke, his tone a mask of acceptance, but hidden beneath with pain and longing.

Esme and I moved at the same time. She ran straight for Elizabeth's room, followed hastily by the doctor, while I went directly into Edward's arms. He let loose, softly crying into my hair, his chest convulsing against me. I kept a tight hold on him, whispering words of comfort, words of happiness. I told him she wasn't suffering where she was. She was on her way to see her soulmate.

We remained in that same spot, grasping desperately onto each other, until sunlight began to slip through the windows.

X-X-X-X

Elizabeth's funeral was small, with just a few relatives and close friends there. Edward barely spoke to anyone the entire day, which I knew was just his way of grieving. I stayed by his side, our fingers linked together permanently.

He'd accepted that she was gone and was no longer suffering, which put him more at ease. In all honesty, he should've been proud of himself for doing everything in his power to help her fight her long battle with cancer, as well as help make her last few months memorable. In the end, her body couldn't handle anymore. But he'd tried, and that was all that mattered.

Within the next week, Esme had flown home, with her husband that came for the funeral, and I was moving into the house. It was a few weeks short of when I'd originally planned, but Edward had asked if I could move in sooner. Of course, I agreed. It allowed him to keep his mind occupied as he helped drive boxes and various pieces of furniture to my new home—our home.

Emmett and Rose helped out, too, providing us with extra hands and lighthearted conversation. Emmett encouraged Edward to speak about his mom, which was what he needed. Around me, he rarely spoke of her, because I was more of a distraction to him. There wasn't anything bad about that—I knew my role—but I was grateful for his friendship with Emmett to be able to look back memorably on his close relationship with his mother.

I was mostly settled in, everything transferred over. The next task was putting things away. Edward helped as much as he could, until I started getting to the boxes with my clothes. He had no idea where anything went, because he, himself, had no organization to his closet or drawers. I wound up reorganizing his entire clothes first, followed by working in my own clothes.

"How will I know where things are?" he asked as he sat on the edge of his bed, watching me.

"By looking," I answered, hanging up one of my blouses.

"I knew where everything was before."

"You mean, on the floor," I joked. He liked living like a pig.

He groaned and fell back onto the bed, his arms sprawled out at his sides. I took the opportunity to drop what I was doing, climb on top of him, and straddle his waist. He made a strangled noise, pretending I weighed a ton, so I pushed my ass down into his stomach. This time, the choking sound that came out of his mouth was real.

"Would you like me to move back to my apartment so you can have a messy closet?" I questioned playfully.

"_Mi alma_," he sighed, and locked his arms around my back, bringing me down so my face was level with his. "I'd rather have a clean closet and keep you, than a messy one and live alone."

I smiled sadly at him, noticing how his voice dipped at the end. After a lingering peck on the lips, I moved off him and diligently got back to work.

I hadn't heard a peep from him in a while, so I glanced over my shoulder, only to find him missing. I'd been so engrossed in hanging clothes up, I hadn't heard him leave.

"Edward?" I called, and abandoned the hanger I was holding.

He didn't respond, so I exited the room. Looking down the hallway, I saw him standing in the opened doorway of his mother's bedroom, staring inside. I moved to him automatically, like a magnet.

"It's strange, knowing she was once here, but now isn't," he remarked thoughtfully.

I looked inside the bedroom with him. The white bed was perfectly made, and there were no traces of anyone ever being in there, except for the picture frame on the nightstand.

This was the first time he was talking about her with me since her death, so I knew I had to say something that would help put his mind at rest. "I'm sure she'll always be here."

He sighed, remaining silent for a few moments, and finally turned to me. "What should we do with the bedroom?"

"Nothing," I answered. "We should leave it exactly as it is."

He nodded and reached for the knob, pulling on it to close the door. "Have you finished destroying my closet?"

I smiled in amusement. "No, not quite."

He walked to the back door and opened it. "Let's go for a walk," he said spontaneously.

"Now?" I questioned, looking behind me at the remainder of the boxes that needed to be unpacked.

"Yes, right now," he demanded, and held out his hand.

I reached out and set my hand in his without a second thought.

We walked along the lake for what seemed like hours, talking about nothing specific—just being. He was in a much lighter mood, and it finally felt like the fun, easygoing Edward was returning.

We found ourselves on the opposite side of the lake, where he suddenly wrapped his arms around me from behind as we admired the white house with green shutters from a distance.

"Your house looks so small from here," I observed, leaning back into his chest.

"Our house," he corrected, placing his chin atop my head.

"Our house," I repeated in a whisper, and emitted a smile of contentment.

"The camp will have a good view of it."

My eyebrows shot up, and I turned in his arms, watching as the corners of his mouth lifted into a smirk. "The camp?" I asked. "Are you…? You mean…" I couldn't even find any words.

"Yep," he said. "The money from my dad's collection will be enough to start the camp up. We can figure out the rest."

With a wide grin, I threw my arms around his neck and crushed my body to him. His hands snaked below my ass, and I was suddenly being lifted into the air. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed my fingers into his hair, grasping onto the roots as I smiled gleefully. We kissed over and over and over, our lips coming together and pushing apart with mad fervor.

"Are you sure?" I questioned against his mouth, out of breath.

"As sure as I'll ever be."

We went back to kissing and celebrated our newfound partnership and career path against a nearby tree.

This was the right course for me—for us. I could feel it in every part of my mind, heart, and soul. Now, he would fulfill his mother's dying wish for him not to be filled with regret. And in a way, her inspiring words would always live with me, as well. I realized I regretted nothing in my life, because it all led to where I was currently, in the arms of my present and future. In the arms of my perfect Mr. Imperfect.

**-****THE END-** **

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**A/N:**

**What a ride. If you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed the story, even though it was quite sad at the end there, but it was kind of to be expected, honestly. Anyway, thank you to all of you for following along.**

**Spanish translations: **

_**Mi osito = my little bear  
Siéntete **__**feliz**__** por**__** mí = feel happy for me. **_

**MPMI started out as an idea I had about two different men—one society deemed perfect and one realistically perfect (imperfect)—vying for Bella's affections. It turned into so much more than that as I tried to implement real life elements. **

**This story was meant for you to know she'd end up with Edward, hence the title, but Jasper's presence was there to showcase missed opportunities, regret, and materialism, among other things. Alice was mainly there to challenge Bella's maturity and to represent someone who refuses to grow up. Jasper and Alice together showed that not everyone has their happily ever after and that sometimes we like someone more than they like us, but in the end, it teaches us something about ourselves. **

**Edward represented the kind of guy a lot of us end up falling in love with, who is in no way movie-esque perfect, but makes us simplistically happy. He's the type of red-blooded American guy that people genuinely like for who he is rather than what he has. Bella thought she wanted someone rich, romantic, and to have the whole torrid love affair, but she realized that it was all a part of a fantasy. Edward grounded her and taught her so much about life and love without even knowing it. **

**I know. I'm one big metaphor whore. But I hope that clears up certain character motivations.**

**News: I'm working on a couple projects, one being a new multi-chaptered story coming out soonish—date is undetermined. It'll involve a reclusive, withdrawn Edward and a Bella with no memories who washes up on a river bank near his secluded house. Add me on author alert. You can check out the banner for that on my profile to get a bit of a visual.  
**

**_Will there be an epilogue?_  
**** I'd planned on one originally and even outlined it, but I've decided that it would ruin the simplicity of the ending I have here. However, I'm not entirely ruling it out as a future possibility. I'm full of surprises.**

_**Will there be outtakes?**_**  
Yes. I'll be posting a couple outtakes that'll be attached to the end of this story, so I'd keep MPMI on alert if you want to read any sort of outtake in the future.  
**


	25. Outtake 1: She Rejected Me

**A/N: **

**I want to say another huge thanks to everyone for your support. It was great pressing complete on this fic. To those that were waiting until it was complete, I hope you enjoyed reading all the way through. **

**Just to touch base on a few things, there won't be a sequel, and I've decided officially there won't be an epilogue, either. But don't think I'm discounting you guys that want a glimpse into the future. So, if you don't already follow me on Twitter, you probably should to find out any info, since I'm being vague. **

**Lindz26 is the almighty beta.  
**

**This is the promised EPOV outtake from chapter 7 entitled "He Kissed Me." For those that don't remember, it's when Edward kisses Bella for the first time on New Year's. Enjoy!

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**OUTTAKE #1****  
CHAPTER SEVEN  
*SHE REJECTED ME***

_Dickhead._

_Can't do anything right. _

_Yeah, why don't you just spill all the food from the menu on her? Brilliant idea. _

_Jackass. _

I wasn't nervous around women. I'd pursued a few of them, and there were never any problems. So, why was she so different? She just was. Something about her made me into this moronic klutz. The type of guy I would rag on in my college days. I didn't blame her for running out of the bar as fast as she could.

_Stupid idiot. _

I should've gone after her as soon as I noticed she was gone, but…damn Kate. It wasn't that I wasn't glad to see her, since we hadn't spoken in a while—and I had no clue she was even working there now—but it was really bad timing. When I'd turned my head to see if Bella was okay, she was gone. I couldn't even catch up to her outside, she was so quick.

So, here I was, on a Monday morning, standing outside of the auction house, trying to work up the nerve to go in there and tell her exactly what I'd continuously rehearsed over the weekend. Wanting to get over here quickly, I hadn't even shaved or combed my hair—not that I did that much, anyway, but I tried to if I knew I would be seeing her.

After exhaling for a solid five seconds, I walked into the lobby. The receptionist with the glasses was there, as usual. I was getting to know her a little too much, since she enjoyed talking.

"Mr. Masen," she greeted with a bright smile. "Back again?"

"Uh, yes—" I began to say, before she cut me off.

"Jasper should be here, but I was told to hold his calls until further notice, so he might be in a meeting."

"Well, actually—"

"He doesn't usually hold his calls unless he has something important going on or is waiting for a specific phone call."

"I'm here to see Bella," I finally got out.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh?" she questioned. "Not a problem. One moment." She picked up the phone and dialed some numbers. She placed her palm over the receiver and glanced up at me. "It's ringing." She was twirling the cord around her finger, but suddenly stopped. "Oh, Mr. Whitlock. Hello."

I tried to suppress a groan. Jasper. He was in her office right now. Great. Maybe I should just go.

No, I needed to at least tell her I was sorry.

"Bella has a visitor," she informed, and paused. "Yes. It's Mr. Edward Masen. He's standing here in front of me." She grinned at me briefly and hung up. "You're all set to go through."

I didn't even reply, choosing to just walk through to the elevator. My nerves were really kicking in as I pressed her floor number.

As soon as the door opened, and I stepped out, my eyes found her. She was looking right at me. I thought I'd see anger in her eyes, but instead, there was fear. Was she just as scared to be in my presence as I was in hers?

She was racing toward the break room, clearly trying to avoid a run-in with me, but I came here for a purpose. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't set things straight…if I didn't tell her why I was such a stupid jerk.

The reason was because I liked her so damn much. I liked how together she was, I liked how stuck-up she could be at times, I liked how she dressed, I liked that she didn't like what I liked. She was different than any girl I'd cared for, and I hadn't cared for a girl in a couple years.

Maybe I was changing…growing. I wanted someone that could keep me together, because I was barely hanging on with all that was going on in my life, and since I'd met Bella, she'd unknowingly kept me from tumbling over the ledge. I needed her more than she probably needed me.

My feet carried me automatically to where she was. Her back was turned as she held a coffee pot. I was frozen, staring at her, my heart rate taking off ahead of me. I would say what I rehearsed. Wait…what was I supposed to start with? Shit.

"Bella," I found myself croaking.

She quickly turned, appearing shocked. Even with the deer caught in the headlights expression, she was pretty. I wondered how long it took her to get ready in the morning and look as if she barely tried.

Before I knew it, her back was facing me again. She really didn't want to see me. I sighed, knowing I deserved it after Friday night. I'd really have to make it up to her somehow.

"How can I help you?" she asked, her voice robotic and…not at all what I was expecting. It was the same voice I'd remembered when I first met her. The assistant's voice, not the Bella voice. I'd witnessed the Bella voice on Friday, when we were getting to know each other. I wanted _that _voice.

"Don't do that," I pleaded. We'd taken such a huge step on Friday. I actually thought she might've liked me back…but now, she was distancing herself.

She was keeping her hands moving, pouring coffee into a mug. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

Shit, _still_ with the voice. "I know, Bella," I said, and rubbed a hand over my tired face. Why was I such a fuckup? "I know I messed up. If I could just—"

"It's fine."

I wasn't surprised she cut me off. I'd just have to work a little harder. I wanted her to look at me, to see me. If she did that, I could tell what she was thinking by looking at her eyes, but she was hiding them from me.

I took steps right up to her, keeping only a few inches between us. Her shoulders stiffened slightly, aware of where I was. Mine relaxed, glad that I could be this close to her and, for once, not be as nervous.

"No, it's not. Just let me apologize," I spoke softly, staring into her long, brown hair that cascaded down her back in waves. I'd been wanting to touch it for a while now, just to see if it was as soft as it looked.

"There's nothing to apologize for. It's not necessary." Her tone was quieter now, changing, no longer as robotic.

I couldn't remember what I'd rehearsed, but I did know what was in my heart. My words would have to come from there. I had to be honest. This was my chance to tell her…Shit, I was nervous again. "It's just…when I'm around you—shit… I don't even know—"

"I told you, _Mr. Masen_, this isn't necessary."

No. _No_. Not Mr. Masen, again. Those words sliced through me. "Why are you calling me that?" I questioned, a little more than hurt.

She harshly slammed the spoon she was holding to the counter, but I stood still, refusing to leave just yet. She proceeded to tell me coldly that it was my name, so it was what she would refer to me as from now on. I couldn't express how much that wounded me, because I was sure we had made progress. I mean, I certainly couldn't call her Ms. Swan. She was_ Bella_ to me, and I hoped I could be Edward to her.

"I thought we could be friends…"

"Well, I guess now you know that we can't be," she spoke wryly.

I was fighting a losing battle. Maybe I'd misread her. Maybe she just didn't and wouldn't see me the way I saw her. I had to make sure.

"Is that what you want?" I asked. I could deal with her being angry with me for spilling food on her. At least I'd know that I'd have to make it up to her. But if she didn't want to be friends because she just didn't like me, then I'd have to leave her alone.

"Yes, that's what I want."

I breathed in and out a few times slowly, taking in what she'd just said. There was no indication in her voice that she wasn't serious. I really had misread her. Emmett was wrong. I was wrong. I felt like an idiot.

I'd never put myself out there this much for a woman before. And to have it backfire so brutally…well…it sucked. It made me angry. It made me hurt. I'd been rejected before, but never like this. This was a blow to the stomach, because I really, really liked her. A little too much, I guessed. Now, I wish I didn't. It was going to be hard getting over this.

"Very well," I spoke cuttingly, and walked out of the room. I wasn't going to waste another damn second here. She didn't want me. I needed to be done with her now. Enough was enough.

X-X-X-X

It took me only a few weeks to get over her. Yep, I was over her. Beyond over her. I wasn't thinking about her eyes, or her hair, or the way she scribbled intently on that ridiculous scheduler of hers with a deep crease in her forehead. As far as I was concerned, I could find some other girl and not think about her once…but I wouldn't do that, because I didn't have time, anyway…or the strength.

Damnit. Yeah, I was still thinking about her, and no, I wasn't over her. I could delude myself all I wanted, but it still wouldn't change that she entered my mind continuously. I didn't get it. I'd only known her for barely a month. This wasn't normal.

Back in college, I'd gone after this one girl, who I had quite a bit in common with. It was one of the only times back then where I actually thought I could have a serious relationship. Well, after three weeks, it got old, and I dropped her. I was onto the next girl in two days.

With Bella, it'd been weeks now since I last saw her, and she was still in my thoughts, taking up permanent residency there. Shit…we hadn't even been dating. Not even close. I was out of my goddamn mind. No wonder she thought I was a loon.

"_Mijo_, why don't I make you something to eat. You haven't eaten all day," my mother advised as she continued knitting a scarf.

I came out of my daze and regarded her, trying as hard as I could to put my thoughts of Bella out of my head. "I'm fine, Mom. If I'm hungry, I can help myself to something." I managed to give her a smile. The last thing I wanted was her worrying about me.

I was glad to be spending Christmas here in Chicago with her. Chicago was my home, and it always made me happy, even though I liked it better over in Washington. My mother did, too, which was why I wanted to move her to Pine Lake as soon as she was able to.

She paused her knitting to cough a few times. When I attempted to stand from my chair to go to her aid, she put up her hand, waving me off. "I'm fine. I'm fine," she assured through bated breaths, and finally calmed. She went back to her knitting almost instantly.

"Maybe you should lie down," I suggested, worried.

She chuckled. "If I lie down, how will I finish your scarf?"

I snorted. She knew I wasn't a scarf wearer. She was just keeping her mind and hands active. "True," I replied.

There was a knock on the door, and I got up to answer. My aunt, Esme, smiled at me as she shook snow out of her hair.

"The snow is really coming down out there," she said, stood on her tiptoes, and pecked me on the cheek. "How is she?"

I took her thick coat off her and hung it up on the coat rack. "She coughs a couple times every hour or so."

She nodded. "That's fine. Nothing to worry about," she said, and patted my chest.

"Is that you, sister?" my mom questioned.

My aunt and I went into the living room. Mom set her knitting down and tried to get up, but Aunt Esme told her to remain sitting. They hugged and caught up, while I sat on the couch and stared out the window, watching the snow.

I hadn't spoken to anyone back home since the last day I saw Bella, afraid that everyone would remind me of her. I hadn't even spoken to Emmett. He'd called me a few times and left some messages, but I hadn't called back. I just really needed this time to myself. To not think so much. It seemed I'd never stopped thinking.

"So, tell us more about this girl," Aunt Esme prodded me.

"That's a lost cause," my mother chimed in with a sigh. "I've been asking him for the past few days now, and he won't budge."

I rolled my eyes and looked out the window again. I just didn't want to talk about it. Ever since my mother had figured out I liked someone, she'd ask me about her every time I visited. Normally, I would humor her and tell her all about my interactions with Bella, but because I'd been flat out rejected by her…well, I wasn't so willing to share that piece of information.

"Ahhh," Aunt Esme said. "Things haven't gone well, then."

"Oh no," my mother gasped, looking wounded. "Please tell me you two are okay."

For some reason, my mother wanted Bella and me to work out. She didn't even know the girl, and she'd already pinned her as the future mother of my children.

"Everything's fine," I replied tersely. Dead giveaway. I wished I was a better liar.

"Well, the only person you're lying to is yourself, child," my mother remarked. "Tell us what happened."

I sighed and leaned back. "It's just not going to work out like I thought," I admitted.

"Why not?" Mom questioned sadly.

I shrugged. "She doesn't want anything to do with me."

My aunt huffed. "She sounds like a piece of work. Drop her."

"Now, wait a minute," my mother said urgently. "Don't listen to your aunt. She's always so quick to assume the worst. What exactly did she say to you?"

I folded my arms across my chest, as if that could protect me. "I just wanted to be friends with her. She doesn't even want to be that."

"Maybe she's scared," Mom said.

I shook my head. "Don't think so. I spilled wine all over her, and she was angry. I kind of don't blame her for not wanting anything to do with me."

"You spilled wine on her? Oh, _mijo_…" my mother said, shaking her head.

Aunt Esme was chuckling. "_Yo tampoco sería su amiga con lo que costó el recibo de la lavandería_," she voiced to my mother.

Mom clicked the roof of her mouth with her tongue, glaring at her. My Spanish was a bit rusty, and my aunt knew that, but I could understand pieces. I chose to ignore it.

"Anyway, I tried," I spoke truthfully, and looked back out the window. It was dark, save for the street lights. I could see the snow falling everywhere the lights shone.

"I wouldn't give up on her yet," Mom spoke gently. "She hardly knows you. Give her another chance."

I shook my head, officially dropping the subject. With a sigh, my mom went back to talking to my aunt about nothing in particular.

As I stared out into the night, I couldn't help wondering where Bella was right now. Even though I knew I had to forget her, if I could have just one present for Christmas, it would be that she was mine.

X-X-X-X

I flew back to Washington one day before New Year's Eve. I was grateful for some alone time, just hanging around the house and working on the gazebo outside. The next day, I decided to finally return Emmett's calls.

"Where ya been, man?" he asked. "I've called you a shitload of times. Thanks for calling me on Christmas, by the way."

I sighed. "Sorry. I've had a lot on my mind."

"Hey, don't sweat it. I figured something was up. Does it have to do with Bella?"

Did he have to bring her up? "Yeah, it does." My tone was terse. I wasn't in the mood.

"Alright, geez. I won't ask anything else, but you know I'm here."

I felt bad now. He'd only ever tried to help me out with her. "She's just…" I started, and paused. "She's not into it, okay?"

"What do you mean she's not into it?"

"She's not into _me_," I clarified.

"How do you know?"

"She said she didn't want to be friends. I think that's a pretty clear message, don't you think?"

"I really think you've got it wrong," he said. "Rose told me Bella was asking a few questions about you."

"What?" I questioned incredulously. That had to be a joke. "No, she wasn't."

"I'm serious as shit. She asked where you were spending Christmas and why you weren't returning phone calls. If she didn't like you in some way, she wouldn't ask anything about you."

I furrowed my brow, still skeptical. "No, I don't think—"

"When you liked a chick in the past and then didn't like her after a while, were you still thinking about her? No, when you were done, you were done, right?"

Even though he'd put that a bit crassly, it was true. But I didn't know what to think with her. Maybe she did like me a little, or at the very least could tolerate me, but the fact was that she didn't want me around her. I mean, I couldn't force myself on her. I _wouldn't_. And even though I'd told myself I'd needed to be done with her, I was having a hard time…because_ I_ wasn't done. Not in the least.

"Doesn't matter. It's over," I stated with a sigh.

"You're the most stubborn dick I've ever had the displeasure of knowing," he said, and chuckled, to which I rolled my eyes. "Look, there's a party tonight that Rose and I are going to. You should come."

"Mmm, I don't think so," I responded immediately. I'd rather just stay home with a beer, maybe hang out on the dock.

"You owe me for not returning my calls for weeks, so get your ass showered and shit. I'll be over in an hour."

I groaned, but decided to give in. I did feel bad about not keeping in contact with him all that time. "Yeah, okay, whatever," I muttered, and hung up.

I wasn't exactly sure where we were going for this party, but I didn't care, really. I didn't bother too much with how I looked as I threw on a button down shirt and some slacks.

When Emmett and Rose arrived, looking much better dressed than I was, she asked if she could use my bathroom, and I pointed her toward the direction of the guest room. Emmett went to my fridge, pulling out a Corona.

"How's Mama Masen?" he asked.

"Good," I answered. "Uh…that reminds me…" I pulled out my phone from my pocket, dialing my mom's number.

"Put that down, man," Emmett ordered "I'm sure she'll be fine for one night."

I shook my head. This wasn't something I was going to easily give into. My mother picked up almost straight away, and I touched base with her. She said she was fine and not to worry. I told her to give me a call any time if she needed me, or even if she just wanted to talk. We hung up, and I felt much better.

"Done now?" he asked, and took a swig of his beer.

"Yep."

"So, you haven't asked where we're going."

I shrugged, letting him know it was of no importance to me.

He chuckled. "Suit yourself. Guess you'll know when we get to the auction house."

I furrowed my brow. "Auction house?" I asked angrily. "You jackass. You set me up." I couldn't believe this shit. He was trying to trick me into seeing her.

"Calm the hell down," he demanded. "I didn't set you up. I thought you'd like a night out, and that's where Rose and I will be."

"You know _she'll_ be there," I said through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, I do, so?"

"So, I can't see her, Emmett," I said, almost desperately. Not after what she said to me. Not after I told myself I had to get over her. If I saw her, I didn't know what would happen or how I'd act.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "She's really tearing you apart, isn't she?"

I sighed and looked away. She wasn't just tearing me apart; she was burning me to pieces.

"I've got an idea," he voiced energetically.

"NO," I replied forcefully. Enough of his stupid ideas and plans that never worked. The double date plan, the flowers plan—they were all crap.

"Yeah, yeah, come on," he encouraged with a smile, and set down his beer bottle. "Okay, check this out. You go to the party. You act like she doesn't exist—she means nothing, she's nada—you know what I mean? _Then_ _that'll _get her noticing you, and she'll be all like, 'Why isn't he paying any attention to me?'"

"Em," I sighed, shaking my head at not just his bad impression of Bella's voice, but at the fact that his plans bombed.

"No, no, I'm not done," he said. "So, then you're all cool, acting blasé. When midnight comes around, you go up to her and kiss her. She'll be so surprised; she won't even know what hit her."

I gave him a dry look. "This plan is shit," I dead-panned. "Not to mention, she probably has someone she'll kiss." The thought of that put me further in a bad mood, but there was nothing I could do about it. She wasn't mine.

"No, she won't. We can figure out who she's kissing and lure him away around midnight."

"I'm not doing this," I said in finality.

I could hear the bathroom door opening in the guest room, along with Rose's footsteps down the hall. "You guys ready to go?" she questioned.

"Just think about it," Emmett whispered.

We took Emmett's Porsche that was uncomfortably compact. Rose opted to sit in the back, because she was smaller and could fit. The problem with sitting up front with Emmett was having to deal with him continuing to egg me on about kissing Bella at midnight, or "BS" as he kept referring to her as. I wasn't going to, no matter what he said. Why would I kiss her if she didn't even want to be friends? That didn't make sense.

"You need to go for it with BS," Emmett encouraged annoyingly.

"No," I replied for the last time. I was getting fed up as hell.

"Look, if you just do it and get it over with, maybe BS will finally notice you."

"What are you both talking about?" Rose asked from the back.

"Nothing," Emmett and I said in unison.

"You guys are weird," she muttered. "I'm just gonna make a call to Bella."

I clenched my jaw at the sound of her name and stared out the window.

"Fuck, Rose. You're going to see her in like five minutes," Emmett berated.

"I hope you don't use that mouth in front of my boss and co-workers," Rose scolded.

"You weren't complaining about my mouth last night, baby," he said, and chuckled.

"That's it. You're not allowed to talk for the rest of the evening."

I chuckled. "Sounds good to me," I agreed. Emmett was getting on my last nerve tonight.

"Fine, but you two don't know what you're missing," Emmett said.

Once we parked the car, I could feel my stomach twist. This wasn't where I wanted to be tonight. I should've just hung back once he told me where we were going. She was going to see me. How would I even act? It would be hard to ignore her. I'd have to, though. That was what she wanted.

No, I couldn't go up there. I just couldn't. I could feel myself breaking down. Even though I hadn't seen her in weeks, she still managed to make me split at the seams. Goddamn her to hell. I just wanted to get over her!

I needed a minute to get myself together. If I went up there, I needed to be in control, not this crazy ass, emotional lunatic.

"You guys go up," I said once we reached the elevator in the lobby. "I have to make a phone call."

"Okay, it'll probably be crowded, so if you can't find us, call Emmett," Rose instructed, and stepped into the elevator.

Emmett leaned into my ear. "I'll figure out who she's kissing."

I glared at him. He really didn't know when to drop something.

When the elevator door closed, I rested my back against it, taking a couple moments for myself. In a few minutes, I'd see her. I wondered if she looked any different. Was her hair a little longer? I bet it was.

Sighing, I resigned myself to the knowledge that I wouldn't be able to know, because I'd have to avoid even looking at her if I wanted to get through this evening.

I pressed the up button and waited. Once the doors opened, I stepped in. The higher I got, the more I could hear the party.

As I came out on the floor, the room was filled with people, talking, laughing, having a better time than I knew I would. My eyes searched for her on instinct, and I was grateful that she wasn't in my line of sight. I immediately spotted the back of Emmett's big head near the opposite end of the room. Shifting past people, I made my way to him.

"Well, it's about fucking time," Emmett snapped. "You're not gonna talk on that bullshit phone for one more minute, got it?"

I sighed, closing the distance between us. "It was important," I said, which was true. No, I hadn't called anyone, but I just needed a breather.

Emmett suddenly stepped to the side, just as I stopped in front of him. I was stock-still as my eyes immediately came into contact with Bella's large, brown ones. She was here. Right in front of me. Out of my peripheral, I could see what she was wearing. Why did she have to look gorgeous tonight? Of all the nights. God just had to spit in my face with that one.

I swallowed thickly, my nerves kicking into high gear as usual when I was around her. She didn't look angry; in fact, she looked downright scared. I tried, with all my might, not to show my emotions.

"Edward," Emmett said, garnering my attention. "Look who we have here—it's_ Bella_."

My eyes snapped to his in fury. He was such a dick, pressing my buttons like this. I couldn't take this shit. It was too much.

I looked back at her. Her words from the last time I saw her came back to me, as they had so many times in the last few weeks. She didn't want to be friends. I thought I could maybe be okay being in the same room with her if I avoided her, but now I realized I couldn't do that. How could I when she looked the way she did and had me feeling this way?

I needed to get out of here.

"Bella," I greeted as a formality, trying not to linger too much on her name, and walked away as fast as I could without looking ridiculous. She probably thought I was a nut job.

I only got as far as the elevators, when I felt Emmett's large hand on my shoulder. "Hey, wait up," he urged. "Why did you treat her like shit back there?"

"I told you I couldn't see her, and you just had to be a fucking pushy shithead and force me to come," I seethed, officially snapping. I was fucking frustrated at him, at myself, at _her_.

"Well, fuck, man. There's no need to get your dick in a twist. I never actually forced you to come, and I was just trying to help."

"Yeah, well, help your fucking self," I growled. "I'm sick of you butting into this. Just leave me the hell alone and go screw your girlfriend or whatever it is you two do."

He pushed against my shoulder, causing my back to slam against the elevator door. "Fuck you. You don't even call for weeks, and when I invite you out with me and my girl, you insult me _and _her. You can go to hell."

I instantly regretted my words. He was just trying to help, and I was being an inconsiderate dick. It was just so hard being here, and he was the only person I could take my frustrations out on.

I knew I needed to apologize to him, but I didn't think I was in the mood to right now. Hopefully, I could just calm down and be normal.

He'd already started walking back, and I followed somewhat behind him. He wasn't too far ahead, talking on his phone. He reached Rose and instantly hauled her away.

"Hey, Edward," Jasper greeted, gaining my attention. He was standing next to Bella. I felt her eyes on me. _Don't look at her._ "Good to see you."

Trying to pretend like I was fine, I mustered a small smile. "Yeah, same. Sorry I haven't called."

Jasper had also called me a few times over the last few weeks. Even if I had been picking up my phone, I didn't think I'd have picked up his calls. Jasper had changed. He wasn't the same guy I knew back in the day. I wasn't even sure how to talk to him anymore. Not to mention, after Bella told me what he'd said to her when they broke up, I'd been imagining myself punching him in the face. Even now—I would've liked very much if I could take my frustrations out on him.

"It's fine," he assured. "I figured you were just busy. And I've been busy myself, actually. Did you have a good Christmas?"

How on earth could he stand here and talk to me when Bella was standing next to him? He wasn't even acknowledging her. Was he out of his goddamn mind? Well, I wasn't any better, not acknowledging her, either. But if I had a choice, I would.

I crossed my arms over my chest, assessing him closer. "Yeah, I did," I answered.

"Who'd you spend it with?"

I dropped my eyes to the ground. I didn't want him or Bella to know I was with my mother. Not that I was ashamed or anything, but because that was personal. I didn't just go around telling any random person about her.

"Wait…did you spend it with a girl?" Jasper asked eagerly, and I brought my hand up to the back of my neck, trying to avoid answering him. "You _did_, didn't you?" He chuckled. I suddenly had the feeling to punch him again when I saw his arm wrap around Bella's waist. What the hell was he doing? "Nice. And here I thought I was going to have to find you one at the bar."

_Yeah, good thing that didn't work out. Dick_.

"Excuse me," Bella suddenly spoke softly, and pulled herself away from Jasper. She walked off, leaving me with him.

"She's been quiet all night," he remarked, to himself more than me. "Not sure what her deal is."

With a quick glance, I saw her going to her office. I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for a reprieve from her intoxicating presence.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Emmett and Rose together at the other end of the room. I would have to apologize to him before the evening ended.

There were a few seconds of awkward silence between us, before I decided to break the tension. "I'll catch you later. I need to talk to Emmett."

He nodded. "No problem. I have to make a phone call, anyway."

We parted ways, and I went over to Rose and Emmett, who were talking quietly to each other.

"Em," I said as I approached him, and he just stared at me with an eyebrow raised. "Can we talk?"

He sighed and nodded. He gave Rose a kiss on the cheek before we walked a small distance away. "What is it?" he questioned.

"About before, that was stupid of me," I started. "I didn't mean any of it."

"I know," he said. "You're upset about her. I get it. Just don't take it out on me."

"I won't anymore," I promised, and he nodded. If we ever had disagreements, which was rarely, we could always make up in a heartbeat.

"Anyway, Rose told me who she's kissing."

I furrowed my brow. With the tone of his voice, it sounded like I wasn't going to like the answer. "Who?" I had to ask.

"Jasper."

"_Jasper_?" I questioned incredulously, stunned.

He slapped me on the shoulder. "I gotta run. Countdown is starting." He walked away, leaving me to my thoughts.

Jasper…?

Her lips…on his…no.

They'd broken up. He didn't even like her romantically by the looks of it, since he practically ignored her all the time and treated her like shit. Now, he was _kissing_ her? What the fuck kind of game was he pulling? Did she really want to be kissed by him?

That was when I saw her, standing in the middle of the room, looking around. She was radiant. By far the most breathtaking person here. No one was even paying attention to her. They were all insane.

Where was he? Why wasn't he next to her?

The countdown was already at five.

She dropped her eyes to the ground, looking so sad. It was hard to watch, but I couldn't look at anything but her.

The countdown was at two, and he still wasn't at her side. He was just going to leave her. I couldn't believe that guy. He had to be the stupidest shithead in the world to not be right fucking next to her at this moment. If I could, I'd be right there, holding her in my arms, caressing her silky hair. I'd let everyone know she was mine.

She was going to be alone.

Not if I could help it.

I didn't know what I was doing as my feet carried me to her. I was out of my damn mind, but I couldn't say that I cared. People were already celebrating the New Year, so I walked faster, dodging people left and right while my sight stayed on the most angelic woman in the room.

Her eyes were closed for some reason, and maybe I was glad for it, because this way, she wouldn't see me practically charging after her.

Finally, I was there, and I had her in my arms, dipping her backward. My mouth was on hers, and I felt like a man that could finally breathe. Her lips were soft and warm, exactly as I had imagined them. Her hands fisted my shirt, and soon, she was kissing me back.

Shit…she was _really_ kissing me back.

Her mouth was moving ravenously, and I found an abundance of energy within me, allowing me to keep up with her.

I thought she would push me away or slap me, but no…she was responding, quite eagerly. I wanted to move my hands all over her small frame. I wanted to feel her body even more flushed against mine. I wanted more of her, of this, but I knew there couldn't be.

After sucking on her top lip for a few extra seconds, I reluctantly brought her to a standing position again and unraveled myself from her. It took everything in me to let her go, but I had to. She didn't belong to me. I didn't think she even knew it was me kissing her. And if she found out, she'd hate me even more.

As I walked away from her, I could still taste her on my mouth and tongue. I moved to the elevator, but not before looking over my shoulder at her. She was staring directly at me, her eyes burning intensely. Did she know it was me? She didn't look angry or upset, she looked…passionate.

No, I was seeing things in her that I wanted to see, just like I had read her signals wrong before. She didn't like me like that. I had to figure out a way to get over her. Kissing her was pure torture, because now I'd have to live with knowing my lips had felt hers, but would never be able to again.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hope you enjoyed the insight. He sure is moody!  
**

**I also promised another outtake, from Chapter 18 "He Moved on from Me." That one will be sent to the FGB's Autism Awareness compilation of one-shots. It can be read upon donation, along with many other one-shots by talented authors. For info, go to thefandomgivesback . blogspot . com**

**Spanish Translation:**

_**Yo tampoco sería su amiga con lo que costó el recibo de la lavandería**_** = I wouldn't be friends with him either with the cost of the dry cleaning bill. (TY to MoniNP & ange_de_laube for translating this for me on Twitter and putting up with my one million questions.)**


	26. Outtake 2: She Probably Forgot About Me

**A/N: **

**Wrote this for the FGB's Autism Awareness compilation. It's an EPOV of chapter 18 "He Moved on from Me."**

**Beta is Lindz26.**

* * *

**OUTTAKE #2  
CHAPTER 18  
*SHE PROBABLY FORGOT ABOUT ME***

I was wide awake, my breathing shallow. I hadn't blinked in about a minute and a half, trying to keep my mind numb from the racing thoughts that had been on replay for what seemed like ages now. It wasn't working. Nothing worked.

Looking at the clock on my nightstand, I saw it was around six-thirty in the morning. There was no way I'd be able to go back to sleep. So, I got up and left my bedroom. After rubbing my eyes, I saw there was already someone in the kitchen.

"Morning," Irina greeted warily. This was now the normal tone every morning. A mixture between pity and caution.

"Hey," I grumbled, my voice not entirely awake yet. I leaned against the counter, my eyes watching as she made a pot of coffee, but my mind barely registering it.

She sighed and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet, then poured coffee in both. "What do you want? Sugar? Cream?"

What I wanted wasn't exactly in this kitchen. "Black is fine," I said, and took one of the mugs. I cupped my free hand around it, welcoming the sting of the heat and allowing it to warm me. "Kate still asleep?"

"She sleeps like a log. Of course she's out cold," she replied, and chuckled lightly, causing me to crack a small smile, which soon vanished when I thought of how Bella used to sleep. She was an early bird, unlike me. "Edward, what's going on in that head of yours?"

Was I that transparent? "Nothing," I lied.

"Are you thinking about your dad?"

I frowned. Surprisingly, I hadn't been thinking about my dad…but now I was.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said sympathetically. "You're thinking about your girlfriend, aren't you?"

I glared at her. "She's not my girlfriend." Not after I dumped her and refused to have anything to do with her. Why the hell would she be my girlfriend after that?

"Right." She paused, observing me. "Want my opinion about this Bella girl?"

Big mistake telling Kate and Irina about what happened between Bella and me, because they both wanted to give me their words of wisdom all the time. None of which I ever retained. "Not really," I answered blandly, and took a sip of coffee.

"Alright," she replied, dropping the subject. Thank God. "Just to let you know, your fridge is a disgrace. What are you going to do when your mom comes?"

I shrugged. I hadn't really thought about the food issue. I would've probably just figured it all out when she came.

"Unacceptable," she huffed. "Stop by Canlis after I finish work and we'll go to the store." I nodded, and I could feel her eyes on me as I stared down into my cup. "I probably shouldn't tell you this now, but Kate and I are thinking of leaving tomorrow."

My eyes shot up to hers. "Why?" I asked.

"Well…not that we don't like coming here and spending time with you every year, but…I think we've outstayed our welcome."

Shit. This was my fault. "No, you haven't," I assured. I'd spent weeks trying to keep my mind off not only the impending anniversary of my father's death, but also my break up with Bella. I'd been working out quite a bit, going for runs, and fixing up the house even more than before. I hadn't meant to make either of them feel unwelcome in the process.

"It's okay, really. We've been here already a few weeks. It's just time for us to go. We both need to be closer to our jobs, anyway."

"Oh," I said, my eyes dropping to the ground. I could understand that, but I didn't _actually_ want them to leave. If they were gone, I'd be…alone. _Really_ alone.

"We're just a call away, you know that," she spoke earnestly. "And try to keep more in touch with Kate now that you live here."

"And what about you?" I asked with a small smile. I hadn't known Irina as long as Kate, but she was still pretty cool to talk to. Plus, Kate's free spirit and Irina's practical nature were a good match. They sort of evened each other out. Kind of how Bella and me were. _Shit…not again. _

She chuckled. "Yeah, me, too." She glanced at her watch. "I've gotta go if I want to make it on time. You'll come after work, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed, and watched as she gathered her belongings to make a race out the door.

Soon, I was left by myself, the empty sounds filling my ears. Now that they were leaving, there were going to be a lot more moments like this, where I wouldn't be able to block out my thoughts as much. And I _needed _to block out my thoughts.

I wasn't angry anymore. Well, not much, anyway. I just felt so stupid having put in so much time, energy, and emotions into starting a relationship with someone who would always belong to someone else. I mean, how fucking dumb was I? I knew she was hung up on Jasper—any idiot could see that—yet I continued to pursue her like the pathetic shithead I was.

And of course she dated me. I mean, I took her mind off Jasper, right? I was the perfect rebound guy. Why was it that rebound guys never realized they were a rebound? Probably because I was a selfish jackass and was only thinking about my happiness. I hadn't really ever thought once whether she actually wanted a future with me. Well, I learned the hard way, hadn't I?

The worst part was that it probably hadn't even fazed her. She most likely went back to Jasper as soon as he was ready and willing, which he fucking was. That asshole was ready and willing as soon as he knew I was dating her. In fact, I was near positive that was exactly what she did. I wanted to hate her for it, but I only had me to blame for putting myself in that sort of situation.

Okay, maybe I hated her a little.

Damnit, even I couldn't lie to myself. I didn't think I could ever hate her. Again, I was pathetic.

The rest of the day passed by unceremoniously. I went for a long run, followed by getting some work done around the house. Kate and I hung out for a bit until she had to go to her waitressing job later in the day.

I'd followed through and met up with Irina at Canlis. We went to a grocery store in the city. The place was so packed. Apparently, everyone had the same idea to go to the store after work. I wasn't used to city life anymore, being up north, out of the way of everything. It was what I liked, and I didn't think I'd ever live somewhere like this again.

"You should just stock up on some essentials for now," Irina instructed by my side as I pushed the cart down an aisle. "Flour, sugar, salt, and your mom will probably want to cook, so maybe some other spices, which we can look at…"

I wound up tuning her out. I wasn't the best company right now, or probably ever. It wasn't that I wasn't grateful for the help, but I didn't…like being here, so close to Bella. It hadn't been that long since I last saw her, but she lived just down the street from here. My eyes had been on high alert since I entered the city limits, trying to subconsciously spot her out, like she would magically appear where I was. So, I was a bit on edge, lost in my havoc thoughts.

"Okay, we should probably buy some stuff for tonight," Irina continued. "I was thinking of making a fruit salad as an appetizer, so I'll probably head over to the produce. Can you get me some milk? Kate likes reduced fat."

I scratched the back of my neck. All I'd heard was fat and milk. "Uh, yeah," I said, and abandoned her, heading for the refrigerated section.

When I got there, I grabbed the first two cartons that said "fat" on it and made my way to where she said she'd be. I saw her straight away and wondered if she'd realize I hadn't paid attention to what milk I was supposed to get. What was the different between all these nonfat, low-fat milks, anyway?

"Irina, did you say you wanted nonfat or low-fat?" I questioned, looking down at the cartons in my hands. When she didn't answer, I lifted my eyes. And then I wished I hadn't.

No, no, no.

She was here. _Bella_ was here. Right in front of me. What the hell kind of luck did I have? So many thoughts were going through my head all at once.

_God, she looks good. _

_Did someone set this up? _

_She's looking right at me. Crap. _

_I don't even want to see her again after what she put me through. _

_Shit, I can't believe I've gone weeks without seeing her. Am I crazy? _

_Don't act like you even register she's here. _

_Someone really hates me up there. _

I managed to not freak out or visibly look affected as I made my way back to Irina. It took all my strength, though. I tore my eyes away from Bella and kept them directly on Irina.

"Low-fat will work," Irina spoke, and took one of the cartons from me to set in our shopping cart. "I was just bugging this poor woman about pineapples."

I tried to muster a smile to show that I'd heard what she said, but all I could register was how close Bella was to me after all this time. It wasn't too long ago that I was able to wrap my arms around her, kiss her…

_Don't go there. Just…don't. _

Anyway, she was probably with Jasper now, doing all that same stuff. Yeah, that brought back the anger in full force. I was glad I broke up with her. Very glad. Yep. Because now, I wasn't any more emotionally involved with this woman. Looking back, I had really been on the verge of…well, of falling in love with her. Now, that would never happen…

"Edward," I heard her sweet voice say.

My eyes shot to her like a dog being beckoned by their owner. It seemed that these weeks had only taught me that I knew how to stay away from her, not that I could stop being affected by her any less. Why couldn't I be like one of those guys that just didn't give a shit? Back when I was in college, I didn't care. What the hell kind of pansy ass was I now?

"Oh, you two know each other?" Irina questioned.

I knew she was going to hound my ass with questions as soon as we left here. She knew of Bella, but she had no idea this woman was her. It wasn't like I showed her a picture. I didn't have one of her, anyway. Well…except the one on my phone. I still couldn't find it in me to erase that one. I'd tried on numerous occasions…but…it just wasn't happening. I'd get lost staring at it.

I didn't want to say anything, but unfortunately, I couldn't just not answer Irina. I also didn't want my voice to show any of my uneasiness, because I didn't want Bella to have that kind of satisfaction, seeing me suffering. "She works at the auction house, as an assistant," I found myself saying. Even to me, the words sounded impersonal and harsh. A part of me felt like a dick, but another part felt satisfied that I might've hurt her in the way she hurt me.

Irina began yabbering on excitedly about the auction house, unfazed by what I said. I tried to act disinterested, and really, I was. I could care less about that dumb auction house, regardless of the fact that they helped me sell my dad's collection.

At the moment, I didn't think I cared about anything. Things I cared about always disappointed me in the end. Even my mom. As much as I loved and cherished her now, she'd managed to hurt me with her words, which was why we went years without talking. But that was just how things went in my life. I cared, and then I'd get burned.

When Bella brought up that she'd bought something from the collection, I knew it was a way to get my attention. How dare she…? After humiliating and using me? Who was this woman? Had I really been so obsessed with her that I hadn't seen what she was truly like? This heartless, calculating, two-timing person that just didn't give two shits about me?

So, I did something to really get it in her head that I didn't care. I placed my hand on Irina's back. Irina stiffened, no doubt confused as to what I was doing, but she didn't question it. Somewhere inside of me, I also wanted to make Bella jealous, just to know what I went through, but I didn't think it'd matter if she'd started dating Jasper again.

Irina began discussing some antiques she had that she wanted sold, and that was where I had to draw the line. I just wanted to get the fuck out of here now.

"I'll give you their number when we go home," I interrupted stoically, and kept my attention anywhere but on Bella's breathy voice that used to warm my entire body.

However, when she uttered, "Goodbye, Edward," I couldn't help looking at her. Something in her voice sounded so final. I wasn't sure why that threw me off, but it did. There was pain and longing laced in her words, as well, and I was positive I was just imagining what I wanted to be there.

She walked away, and my eyes followed the back of her, my heart clenching with every step further she took out of my life. After all this time, she still evoked these feelings from me. Walking away from her had been easy at the time, because I'd been angry and it was all in the heat of the moment, but seeing her walk away from me now…well, it broke my heart all over again.

"Okay, what was that?" Irina asked haughtily, breaking me out of my yearning stare.

"What was what?" I questioned, looking back at her.

"You…and her," she replied. "You acted like she was Satan's spawn or something."

I sighed. "That was Bella."

She raised an eyebrow. "Bella? The Bella you said was a heartless bitch?"

I brought my hand to the back of my neck. Had I really said that? I'd been really angry, so that sounded about right. I still thought she was heartless, but maybe not a bitch… "Well—"

"You made her out to seem like she was some evil, cheating harpy," she spoke, and crossed her arms over her chest. "That girl not only looked like she couldn't hurt a fly, but she seemed absolutely terrified of you. And there you were, ignoring her."

I shook my head in denial. "She's not terrified of me."

"Oh yeah? She looked like she was about ready to cry."

My eyes dropped to the ground. I didn't like the sound of that, but what reason would Bella need to cry for? She'd gotten what she wanted in the end—to get back with Jasper.

"Tell me," she started, "when you broke up with her, she was at her ex's apartment, right?"

"Yeah," I answered reluctantly.

"And you caught her in bed with this guy?"

I scowled at the image. "No."

"So, she was kissing him?"

I groaned. "No."

"Hugging him?"

I furrowed my brow. What the hell was she getting at? "No."

"What was she doing that made you break up with her?"

"She was…" I began, but stopped, trying to remember. "She was there at his place when she was supposed to be with me at hers."

"So, then, why weren't you at her place where you were supposed to meet?"

"I was getting her damn blender!" I exclaimed, getting angry.

"Why were you getting her blender for her, when she could've done that herself?" she questioned, scrutinizing me.

I shrugged. "I was doing her a favor," I lied. That wasn't exactly the truth. Irina seemed to know that, because she shook her head. "Okay, I didn't want her to see Jasper again. I went to get her blender for her, so she wouldn't have to."

"You're an idiot," she remarked, and chuckled, finding some sort of humor in this that I couldn't see. "Actually, you're both idiots. See, she's too nice to tell this ex of hers where he can shove it, and you're too stubborn to realize you jumped the gun."

"She was using me the entire time," I growled.

She began pushing the cart. "I don't think so."

"You talk to her for all of two minutes by some pineapples, and suddenly, you know her?" I asked angrily. She wasn't in the relationship with me and Bella. She didn't know anything.

"I'm just saying what it looks like as an outsider," she said casually. "I obviously don't know all the facts, but neither do you. You chose to see what you wanted to see."

"So, her in the apartment of her ex, barefoot, when she's supposed to be on a date with me—that's me seeing what I want to see?" I questioned, baffled.

She picked up a cantaloupe and brought it up to her nose, smelling. "Yep."

I huffed, but shut up. She didn't know a damn thing. I knew what I saw. It'd always felt like Jasper would swoop in and take her again, and he had in the end. Asshole.

When we got back to the house, I took a long shower, needing to wash off the day. It allowed me to not think of Bella as the water pounded over my head. She was out of my mind now.

Afterward, I helped Irina with dinner, until Kate arrived, looking haggard. She fell on the couch with a loud huff.

"I'm beat," Kate said. "Teddy, throw me a beer, will you?"

I took two Coronas out of the fridge and went over to her. After I pushed her legs off the couch, I sat next to her and handed her one of the beers.

"We saw Edward's ex at the grocery store," Irina called out.

I groaned and rested back against the couch.

"Who? Carmen?" Kate questioned. "God, I hated that bitch."

I rolled my eyes.

"No. Bella," Irina said, and walked into the living room.

"Uh oh. What happened?" Kate asked.

"The girl was as cute as a button. Nothing like Edward painted her out to be."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Irina," I warned.

"Yeah, but she was seeing some other guy while with Edward, right?" Kate queried.

"She wasn't seeing him," I snapped.

"You made it out to seem like she was cheating on you," Irina said.

"She wasn't seeing him while she was with me. She was just at his house, and she still had feelings for him, okay?" I finished, squeezing my eyes shut from the world.

"There was no way that girl had feelings for anyone other than you," Irina commented. "If you weren't so busy trying to ignore her, you would've seen how she was looking at you, like you broke her heart."

Somewhere deep inside of me, I wanted to believe that Bella had feelings for me, but there were too many signs showing she didn't. "_She_ broke _mine_," I said.

"Maybe you should talk to her," Kate suggested.

Absolutely not. Not only was I still upset over everything, I wouldn't know how I'd act around her. Like an idiot who still doted on her, most likely. "No," I replied firmly.

"How will you get closure, then?" Kate questioned. "I mean, you've been sitting around, moping over her. Don't you want to put it all behind you and move on?"

I furrowed my brow. Move on…? I hadn't even considered it. Did I really want to move on? Did I want to stop thinking about her? Maybe try to date someone else eventually? Could I really do that? The way I'd ended it, it didn't allow for any of that. I was still just as hung up on her as ever. In fact, even more so than before. The time apart hadn't helped my feelings disappear at all. So, given that, was it possible for me to have closure?

"He doesn't want to move on," Irina spoke for me. "He's in love with her."

"What?" I balked, glaring at her. That was the most inaccurate thing anyone had ever said!

She chuckled, really finding something amusing. Apparently, so did Kate, 'cause she was also laughing. "Oh, yeah, definitely," Kate agreed.

"I'm not," I practically growled. Why would I be in love with someone who never wanted me? Maybe I would've been in love with her if we'd still been together, but thank God it had ended when it did, for that purpose alone.

"You're so in love with her, you couldn't even look at her today at the grocery store," Irina spoke, her tone amused.

I shut my eyes, deciding to block them out. What she was saying, it was causing my heart to clench in familiar ways.

"Aww…okay, sorry, Teddy. No more taunting," Kate spoke, her tone empathetic. She always knew when to back off. "Can I help make dinner?"

I felt Kate get off the couch and heard her and Irina in the kitchen. I stayed on the couch, my head pounding, because part of what Irina said was getting to me. I hadn't wanted to even look at Bella today. At the time, I chalked it up to being angry at her and not wanting her to see how fazed I'd been, but now…it was hard to admit that my feelings for Bella were just as strong as ever.

Before I broke up with her, I already knew I was falling for her, but I hadn't imagined myself in love. We'd only been dating for a couple months. How could anyone be in love with someone that quickly? But seeing her after all these weeks, it killed me to look at the face of the woman I cared so fucking much about. If I didn't feel so strongly for her, I could've looked at her. I could've faced her. But I couldn't.

What if I was in love with her? What would it even matter? We weren't together anymore. Those would just be wasted feelings. Feelings that I could never share with her and had no desire to. It wasn't like she'd return them. Never in a million years. So, why the hell would I be in love with her?

Shit, now I was just depressed, because I was sitting on a couch, with a beer in hand, debating to myself whether I was in love with her.

I reached in my pocket and took out my phone, needing to see her picture and prove to myself that I wasn't feeling this way about her. But as soon as I saw her flawless face on my phone's wallpaper, I couldn't deny anything.

I was so damn in love with her.

* * *

**A/N: **

**For those that don't know, my new story, Washed Up, has been posted. It's a couple of chapters in now. Check it out if you want. Thanks for reading!**


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